Uterine prolapse repair questions.

[dkak001]

Hi,

I'm the hubby posting a question regarding the above listed title.

FYI this is a Dual purpose thread, as I am venting some frustration and looking for suggestions/input from others suffering from similar problems.

So, we've had two children now... (Read on, if you are considering kids!)

My wife (barley 30) is now suffering from a fairly severe uterine prolapse with cystocele and rectocele. We've been to four doctors who all suggest surgery is the only real option left. There is a surgery tentatively scheduled for november, at the largest regional medical center in our area (6 hours away, and they are only place that can do this).

Basically the repair will involve removing the uterus and cervix, and using support mesh against rear side of the bladder and top of the vagina and possibly be attached support the rectal canal. This mesh will be tied into the tissue near the back of the hips/spine to pull everything back into place.

We've tried doing nothing. At this point, this is unacceptable. She is in constant pain, sex is painful in the one position we can have it in. Sex is not satisfying (for both of us), since she's loose and can't feel much, and she's loose and I can't feel much.

We've tried specialized physical therapists who do pelvic floor physical therapy (BTW: try to find one of these people), only to find that doing the exercises cause her more pain. (But at least I know how to gage a woman's pelvic floor strength and do proper internal muscle massage!)

A pessary is not an option, since it won't stay in, and won't help with sex. (And doesn't look all that much fun to begin with!)


Sex is basically mutual masturbation sessions. At least the vibrator doesn't hurt her and we can both orgasm in each others company. Occasionally we can have penatrative sex when she is on her back with her hips propped way up (thank you Liberator!) so that gravity pulls the uterus closer to where it should be. Oral and other things are hard for her, since she seems to have lost some sensitivity since the births. The amount of tearing damaged some her nerves, reducing sensitivity and diminishing muscle control.

Bowel movements are hard, and mild incontenence is also a problem.

All this being said, we still have a good sex life. It's just nothing like what it used to be. We still cum in each others company, so we still get the bonding experience, etc.



My questions are:

Has anyone had any repairs like this done? Colorado, Mayo, etc. How did they turn out? How did you handle the psychological aspect of losing your uterus?

Does anyone have any really creative suggestion to spice up sex a little more?

Anyone have any other words of wisdom?

A worried husband.

Dan

P.S. Kids are great, but they should tell you about these possibilities before you get started!

 

[fuckmeat]

Wow. I'm really sorry to hear you're wife is going through this. To start with, here's some info you might find useful. I appreciate that you probably already have it but you never know.

GU Prolapse
Stress incontinence
Constipation
Pelvic floor exercises

It sounds to me like surgery is your wife's best option to get this all sorted out and clearly she can't go on as she is. Although she's having a hysterectomy they should leave her ovaries so that she doesn't need HRT. I haven't had kids or a hysterectomy myself so I can't comment on the psychological effects. As things stand though, you guys don't have much of a sex life and although she's been through a lot at least your wife already has children. You also still have options in the future if you want to add to your family, such as surrogacy and adoption.

Sorry I can't offer any real insight.

 

[NomadLady]

Hi,

I'm the hubby posting a question regarding the above listed title.

FYI this is a Dual purpose thread, as I am venting some frustration and looking for suggestions/input from others suffering from similar problems.

So, we've had two children now... (Read on, if you are considering kids!)

My wife (barley 30) is now suffering from a fairly severe uterine prolapse with cystocele and rectocele. We've been to four doctors who all suggest surgery is the only real option left. There is a surgery tentatively scheduled for november, at the largest regional medical center in our area (6 hours away, and they are only place that can do this).

Basically the repair will involve removing the uterus and cervix, and using support mesh against rear side of the bladder and top of the vagina and possibly be attached support the rectal canal. This mesh will be tied into the tissue near the back of the hips/spine to pull everything back into place.

We've tried doing nothing. At this point, this is unacceptable. She is in constant pain, sex is painful in the one position we can have it in. Sex is not satisfying (for both of us), since she's loose and can't feel much, and she's loose and I can't feel much.

We've tried specialized physical therapists who do pelvic floor physical therapy (BTW: try to find one of these people), only to find that doing the exercises cause her more pain. (But at least I know how to gage a woman's pelvic floor strength and do proper internal muscle massage!)

A pessary is not an option, since it won't stay in, and won't help with sex. (And doesn't look all that much fun to begin with!)


Sex is basically mutual masturbation sessions. At least the vibrator doesn't hurt her and we can both orgasm in each others company. Occasionally we can have penatrative sex when she is on her back with her hips propped way up (thank you Liberator!) so that gravity pulls the uterus closer to where it should be. Oral and other things are hard for her, since she seems to have lost some sensitivity since the births. The amount of tearing damaged some her nerves, reducing sensitivity and diminishing muscle control.

Bowel movements are hard, and mild incontenence is also a problem.

All this being said, we still have a good sex life. It's just nothing like what it used to be. We still cum in each others company, so we still get the bonding experience, etc.



My questions are:

Has anyone had any repairs like this done? Colorado, Mayo, etc. How did they turn out? How did you handle the psychological aspect of losing your uterus?

Does anyone have any really creative suggestion to spice up sex a little more?

Anyone have any other words of wisdom?

A worried husband.

Dan

P.S. Kids are great, but they should tell you about these possibilities before you get started!

It sounds like you are doing all that you can...I've had a family member in a similar situation. Your wife is lucky to have such a wonderfully supportive husband.

 

[marlitharne]

Here's what I know...

My mother recently went through a surgery to repair a prolapsed bladder and rectum. Her uterus had stayed in place, so that was not removed, but at her age (56), that would not have ended her childbearing years anyway. I will say, that the recovery is fairly arduous, and, at least her doctor, did not make all the side effects completely clear beforehand. The one she complains about most of the time is a constant unpleasant discharge from the vagina, that (she tells me) smells very foul. She asks the doctor about it at every followup appointment (it's been nearly six weeks now), but the doctor assures her it is normal for as long as the stitches are present. For the first three weeks after the surgery, there was so much of it that she actually had to use diaper cream, because the constant wetness gave her a rash. (I'm sorry if that's a little disgusting, but she wishes someone would have told her ahead of time, so I'm sharing with you).

That being said, the surgery has greatly improved her quality of life. Her urinary incontinence has completely resolved itself. I haven't asked about my parents' sex life, so I can't really speak to the impact of the surgery on that.

I hope this was helpful...

 

[southernsky]

Head over the Mothering.com discussion forums. They've got great support for women and childbirth, and can answer your questions in detail, probably a lot better than we can. There's a lot higher concentration of postpartum women there than there is here

 

[dkak001]

Wow. I'm really sorry to hear you're wife is going through this... ...It sounds to me like surgery is your wife's best option to get this all sorted out and clearly she can't go on as she is.

Back again, and a little more venting to do... ...this is turnig into a rather depressing thread!

Yep, so now it gets even better. Having spent 16 hours driving for a 1 hour pre-surgery consultation, we find out that because of the previous physical therapy she's going to have to push the surgery back. Now the fear is that all of the excessive tension (which won't go away) that was caused by the previous phisical thereapy, will cause the surgery to go poorly and her pain to get much worse. Of course, now we have to return so that she can start physical therapy (16 hours of driving each trip!) all over again to try to fix the pain that the previous physical therapy caused, only then can we return for additional testing following which they will decide if surgery is safe to try.

This one is really starting to wear me down. 16 hours driving, hoping that we were going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Only to find out that things are just continuing to get worse, and this is going to possibly take more time/work/money than previously thought.

Mentally, I'm exhauseted. My wife is in constant pain, we haven't been able to have sex, and we just spent 16 hours driving. All we have to look foreword to for the next few weeks is a credit card bill, a medical bill, and more diriving. If we're lucky, there will be a surgery in our future!

I refuse to tempt fate by asking if it will ever end. But, what else is heading our way???

Thanks for the support y'all! And, sorry for any typos, I'm doing this with a beer!

Dan

 

[SweetErika]

What's up with the 16 hours of driving? Are you going out of state or traveling most of the way on a dirt road?

Have you sought a second opinion? It seems weird that physical therapy would make things worse AND no one closer to you could do the proper physical therapy.

Could she drive herself or fly?

 

[fuckmeat]

Well I'm British so I know nothing about accessing healthcare in the USA but 16hrs driving just to attend physio sounds unreasonable and even counter-productive to me. Must she do the therapy in a certain place with specialist equipment or can she learn the appropriate exercises and continue them at home or a local gym? More importantly, if some other form of physio caused problems that have set back her surgery, what reassurance do you have that the new regime will genuinely improve things?

Now would be a good time to look for a local group that supports women through prolapse and hysterectomy. There must be women in your area who have gone through this and can offer insight. Also, until you start contacting people affiliated with local charities you won't know what could potentially be offered to you by such a charity. They might be able to help with transport or help you access physio closer to home.

Sadly, you can't simply expect the best available healthcare to be offered to your wife. You must find it within you to be her advocate. Question everything, get a second opinion if necessary, make a nuisance of yourself until your wife receives the care she needs. Decide what you want to know before the appointment and write it down if you need to. For starters, why was your wife given physio that made things worse? Why is it not possible to manage her pain better? How long must she do the new physio for before she can have surgery? Why is that?

I do hope your wife gets through this ok.

 

[NomadLady]

Back again, and a little more venting to do... ...this is turnig into a rather depressing thread!

Yep, so now it gets even better. Having spent 16 hours driving for a 1 hour pre-surgery consultation, we find out that because of the previous physical therapy she's going to have to push the surgery back. Now the fear is that all of the excessive tension (which won't go away) that was caused by the previous phisical thereapy, will cause the surgery to go poorly and her pain to get much worse. Of course, now we have to return so that she can start physical therapy (16 hours of driving each trip!) all over again to try to fix the pain that the previous physical therapy caused, only then can we return for additional testing following which they will decide if surgery is safe to try.

This one is really starting to wear me down. 16 hours driving, hoping that we were going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Only to find out that things are just continuing to get worse, and this is going to possibly take more time/work/money than previously thought.

Mentally, I'm exhauseted. My wife is in constant pain, we haven't been able to have sex, and we just spent 16 hours driving. All we have to look foreword to for the next few weeks is a credit card bill, a medical bill, and more diriving. If we're lucky, there will be a surgery in our future!

I refuse to tempt fate by asking if it will ever end. But, what else is heading our way???

Thanks for the support y'all! And, sorry for any typos, I'm doing this with a beer!

Dan

I don't understand how there can not be a gyno/urologist somewhere closer that can help your wife....that is a nightmare of driving.

 

[dkak001]

NomadLady,

Everywhere we go is 8+ hours drive one way. Sometimes work has me driving 10 hours each way, and I never leave the state!



Hi Erika,

We've had 5 opinions now. All of them suggesting surgery as the only option left. The surgeon she needs isn't easy to find. There aren't many of them around. We've asked all of the doctors where the absolute best place to go is, and they all said the same place. Any other place that would do this surgery is about the same distance.

As for the drive, we live in the sticks. It's 8 hours of driving one way. 2/3 of the driving is on freeway doing 70mph. We could fly, but the cost of flying out of our local air port is excessive, and flying includes three flights there, and three back. It's about 8 hours of travel each way if we fly! Same travel time, for 1/4 the cost is a no brainer.

As for physical therapy making things worse, no one knows why. Basically she had zero muscle control in her pelvic floor before physical therapy. Once she started to gain control of those muscles they all started cramping. Now we can't get them to relax. The surgeon won't touch the case until the muscles are relaxed again. Past experience shows with similar cases suggest surgery now will only make things worse. They suspect it could be nerve damage.

...how's the new laptop?



Fuckmeat,

Believe me, I am her advocate. We know exactly what the options are. We've both completely read all of her medical records, and ask every question we can. So far, I've been with her on every trip. We bring a list of questions so we don't forget. We spend about 1 to 2 hours with each doctor. The bottom line is that every doctor is shocked about what they see. The first words out of their mouth when the start the physical exam is usually "Oh my!".

For the first physical therapy, It was suggested I be there to learn how to help her do the stretches and exercises. I was also shown how to gauge her progress. The therapy included skeletal muscle exercises, breathing exercises, Kegel exercises, and internal vaginal massage to help relax the pelvic floor muscles. I really suspect this next trip will be the same sort of thing. I plan on helping her.

The cost really isn't a concern, but it's still part of the frustration. Insurance has pre approved the surgery. The deductible is going to be a few thousand at most (A bit high, but we can cover it). All I want is to see her sit, stand, and walk without pain. I want her fixed!



It's hard to find someone to talk to about it. I doubt any of my friends want to hear about how my wife's rectum, uterus and bladder are falling out of her vagina, and that she can't shit, pisses herself and can't have sex!

It's getting to the point that I can't sleep, which doesn't help things at all. The worst part is the mental drain. I'm just exhausted. With two children, the added stress of all of this is killing me. I'm just running out of steam. There's just nothing left to give.

 

[NomadLady]

NomadLady,

Everywhere we go is 8+ hours drive one way. Sometimes work has me driving 10 hours each way, and I never leave the state!



Hi Erika,

We've had 5 opinions now. All of them suggesting surgery as the only option left. The surgeon she needs isn't easy to find. There aren't many of them around. We've asked all of the doctors where the absolute best place to go is, and they all said the same place. Any other place that would do this surgery is about the same distance.

As for the drive, we live in the sticks. It's 8 hours of driving one way. 2/3 of the driving is on freeway doing 70mph. We could fly, but the cost of flying out of our local air port is excessive, and flying includes three flights there, and three back. It's about 8 hours of travel each way if we fly! Same travel time, for 1/4 the cost is a no brainer.

As for physical therapy making things worse, no one knows why. Basically she had zero muscle control in her pelvic floor before physical therapy. Once she started to gain control of those muscles they all started cramping. Now we can't get them to relax. The surgeon won't touch the case until the muscles are relaxed again. Past experience shows with similar cases suggest surgery now will only make things worse. They suspect it could be nerve damage.

...how's the new laptop?



Fuckmeat,

Believe me, I am her advocate. We know exactly what the options are. We've both completely read all of her medical records, and ask every question we can. So far, I've been with her on every trip. We bring a list of questions so we don't forget. We spend about 1 to 2 hours with each doctor. The bottom line is that every doctor is shocked about what they see. The first words out of their mouth when the start the physical exam is usually "Oh my!".

For the first physical therapy, It was suggested I be there to learn how to help her do the stretches and exercises. I was also shown how to gauge her progress. The therapy included skeletal muscle exercises, breathing exercises, Kegel exercises, and internal vaginal massage to help relax the pelvic floor muscles. I really suspect this next trip will be the same sort of thing. I plan on helping her.

The cost really isn't a concern, but it's still part of the frustration. Insurance has pre approved the surgery. The deductible is going to be a few thousand at most (A bit high, but we can cover it). All I want is to see her sit, stand, and walk without pain. I want her fixed!



It's hard to find someone to talk to about it. I doubt any of my friends want to hear about how my wife's rectum, uterus and bladder are falling out of her vagina, and that she can't shit, pisses herself and can't have sex!

It's getting to the point that I can't sleep, which doesn't help things at all. The worst part is the mental drain. I'm just exhausted. With two children, the added stress of all of this is killing me. I'm just running out of steam. There's just nothing left to give.

Dan

Not that this would help but is there any route for malpractice against her OB for possible mis-handling of her during the two births. I don't have kids but if here tearing were that severe and nothing was done to prevent or repair it at the time it occured it seems there should be some type of negligence involved. I can't imagine the heartache and pain BOTH are going through with this but I admire you standing by your wife and being so supportive. It is very admireable and refreshing. I hope you can help her to relax the muscles so surgery will be possible and bring hope to what seems to be a dim situation.

 

[SweetErika]

Would a little Botox be an option for getting the muscles to relax so she can have the surgery? Maybe that's something to ask the doctor about?

How about TENS for the same purpose? And, hey, how cool would it be to get like an Erostek machine and some accessories paid for by insurance?

I feel for her. I have the same problem with my neck and some of my back muscles, and it's terribly painful, even with medication and everything else I do for it. Botox is clearly not an option for a major muscle group that holds one side of my head up, but if it were, I'd be all over it!

The new laptop is great, thanks! I haven't used it a lot because we haven't gotten around to transferring everything over to linux yet, but once we do, I'm sure I'll still be very happy with it.

 

[dkak001]

Erika,

I'll have to ask about botox. I doubt they'll try anything like that before they try physical therapy.

A tens unit is the next thing to try with physical therapy. The unit is a specialized unit, and unfortunately insurance won't cover it. The vaginal plug is ~$50 purchase and the control unit is a rental only option. I've been trying to find a comparable unit, but no one will respond to my questions when I start asking about details. The physical therapist put sticky pads on it, and let me run it on my arm to see exactly how it feels. She also told me all of the settings that would work the best. I just can't get anyone to supply me details of the available units out there.

Also, I think the problem with Tens, is that it makes muscles contract and not relax. Once they are contracted, I think tens only makes things worse...

On a whole new tangent, I also suffer from the same back/neck problems and know exactly how that goes! I've tried drugs, physical therapy, and chiropractic treatments. None by themselves work. The last bad spell required me doing back exercises and stretches, using an anti inflammatory with prescription muscle relaxants and chiropractic visits. Luckily, I've found a doctor who will listen to me and believes that chiropractic can help. The Chiropractor believes the medical community is good at fixing a lot of stuff, and is not afraid to suggest I see the doctor when I need to.

Basically, my chiropractor believes there are nerve receptors between the disks and vertebrae, that without relative motion get irritated. These in turn cause muscles to cramp down, which then become inflamed/irritated, causing more pressure and less motion in sort of a snow ball effect. Doc's prescribed muscle relaxants for use with anti inflammatory drugs to pair with the chiropractic and exercise treatments (Since the chiropractor cannot prescribe drugs).

The only thing that didn't help me was physical therapy, and mostly because I've been doing all of the exercises and stretches on my own all a long (I'm a gym rat). It turns out that physical therapy was by far the most expensive of the three ($1000 out of pocked over a month!). At this point, I'm getting a really bad taste in my mouth from physical therapists!


NomadLady,

I doubt we could seek monetary restitution. Everything went by the book, and it was a normal vaginal delivery. The vaginal tearing and damage was internal and could not be seen or detected initially. Except for the fact that the baby came so fast the doctor couldn't do the episiotomy (Which did tear, requiring some stitches), everything was normal.

No prolapse was detected immediately afterwards. It was only in the following months the doctors noticed the vaginal cavity didn't contract and was excessively large. That's when the first signs of prolapse were detected. Thing have been deteriorating since then.

Having babies is hard on the mom. Something like 15% to 20% of moms will have these sorts of problems. It's just usually not this bad...

 

[NomadLady]

NomadLady,

I doubt we could seek monetary restitution. Everything went by the book, and it was a normal vaginal delivery. The vaginal tearing and damage was internal and could not be seen or detected initially. Except for the fact that the baby came so fast the doctor couldn't do the episiotomy (Which did tear, requiring some stitches), everything was normal.

No prolapse was detected immediately afterwards. It was only in the following months the doctors noticed the vaginal cavity didn't contract and was excessively large. That's when the first signs of prolapse were detected. Thing have been deteriorating since then.

Having babies is hard on the mom. Something like 15% to 20% of moms will have these sorts of problems. It's just usually not this bad...

Dan

I guess I was thinking more along the lines of why they didn't do something when they realized the vaginal cavity didn't contract....it seems that was "negligent" to me but I understand that these things "can" happen. It also seems your situation is much worse because it wasn't addressed aggressively when it was discovered.

 

[dkak001]

I guess I was thinking more along the lines of why they didn't do something when they realized the vaginal cavity didn't contract....it seems that was "negligent" to me but I understand that these things "can" happen. It also seems your situation is much worse because it wasn't addressed aggressively when it was discovered.

They wouldn't do any surgical repairs until we were sure we didn't want more kids, since repairs wouldn't allow us to have more children. She couldn't let the idea of more kids go until the pain progressed to where it is now. There really aren't any other options. PT or surgery is the only way to deal with it.

I'm not trying to be negative. I do appreciate the suggestions. It's just that we made decisions based on the information we had at the time. I'm sure if we knew it was going to get this bad we would have done something sooner.

It does help to vent here on the boards...

 

[albertaboy]

They wouldn't do any surgical repairs until we were sure we didn't want more kids, since repairs wouldn't allow us to have more children. She couldn't let the idea of more kids go until the pain progressed to where it is now. There really aren't any other options. PT or surgery is the only way to deal with it.

I'm not trying to be negative. I do appreciate the suggestions. It's just that we made decisions based on the information we had at the time. I'm sure if we knew it was going to get this bad we would have done something sooner.

It does help to vent here on the boards...

Dan

My wife had to terrible pregnancies, followed by two terrible birthing processes of 10 pound kids. SHe had issues afterwards but nothing like you are describing. My Mother-in -law had the surgery you describe and while I never talked to her about it I assume it went well as my wife would have told me if it didn't.

When Lesley had our second child her OB/GYN grabbed me in the hospital and said no ore kids, he almost made me promise to get a vasectomy.

I love my kids, but I also love my wife. I got the vasectomy, she healed over time. I advise your wife to get the surgery, accept that you have two presumably healthy kids and move on.

 

[NomadLady]

They wouldn't do any surgical repairs until we were sure we didn't want more kids, since repairs wouldn't allow us to have more children. She couldn't let the idea of more kids go until the pain progressed to where it is now. There really aren't any other options. PT or surgery is the only way to deal with it.

I'm not trying to be negative. I do appreciate the suggestions. It's just that we made decisions based on the information we had at the time. I'm sure if we knew it was going to get this bad we would have done something sooner.

It does help to vent here on the boards...

Dan

You two have really been through the ringer....makes me feel sorta bad that I have been basically begging my OB/GYN for a hysterectomy for the past 10+ years because of endometriosis and pelvic pain. I don't have kids and regret it now but I'm tired of the pain...

 

[PinkLaces]

I am a nurse and I have NEVER heard of physical therapy making the possibility of surgery worse. Removal of the uterus is a fairly straightforward procedure. Once that was done, repairing the pelvic floor and the repositioning everything else should be simple for any decent surgical gynocologist. There isn't much therapy can repair at this point, so I don't understand why these doctors are asking you to go though more of it. After surgery would be when therapy would be needed most. You and your wife have rights as a patient; I suggest you use them to demand the needed operation. Involve the hospital's social worker if you must. Your wife's medical condition is causing her quality of life to decline daily, and getting access to care (the drive) presents a hardship for your family. Demand that they help you!

 

[dkak001]

Norma,

I know some women who have your troubles. That's no fun! Hurting all of the time is no way to live!


Pink,

Basically, she has muscle spasms that aren't relaxing in her vaginal cavity. I can feel the individual muscles myself, they're hard as a rock. In the experience of the surgeon, these spasms will make surgery difficult, and cause things to be much worse afterwards. They want thins relaxed more before they will do the work.

If you have other suggestions, I'm all ears!

 

[dkak001]

I am a nurse and I have NEVER heard of physical therapy making the possibility of surgery worse. ... ... There isn't much therapy can repair at this point, so I don't understand why these doctors are asking you to go though more of it. ...

Quick follow up. 30 minutes with one the best physical therapist we could find shut off the muscle spasms like a switch. Following up with stretching she recommended kept them off for a month. I can now tell you with certainty the wrong physical therapist can fuck you up, and the right one will be unbelievable.

Down side, is even after surgery we are stuck dealing with some complications. It was a very long recovery, which isn't over. Since the surgery we've had several more ER visits, and a few nights in a hospital. Overall she feels much better. The surgery was the right thing to do, now if we can get through the recovery we'll be in good shape.

Basically, If it could go wrong it did, and still is.

Will this ever end!

 

[SweetErika]

Quick follow up. 30 minutes with one the best physical therapist we could find shut off the muscle spasms like a switch. Following up with stretching she recommended kept them off for a month. I can now tell you with certainty the wrong physical therapist can fuck you up, and the right one will be unbelievable.

Down side, is even after surgery we are stuck dealing with some complications. It was a very long recovery, which isn't over. Since the surgery we've had several more ER visits, and a few nights in a hospital. Overall she feels much better. The surgery was the right thing to do, now if we can get through the recovery we'll be in good shape.

Basically, If it could go wrong it did, and still is.

Will this ever end!

Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Some people just bounce back better, or feel less pain, than others. I don't happen to be one of them, but hopefully your wife is. You also have to remember that it can take a year or more for the body to get back on track after surgery, so stay positive.

 

[NomadLady]

Glad to hear she got the surgery and even with some complications you are seeing progress. Hope things improve even if slowly, because slower, proper healing should result in less opportunity for relapse of any issues.

 

[sassylilthang]

Hi,

I'm the hubby posting a question regarding the above listed title.

FYI this is a Dual purpose thread, as I am venting some frustration and looking for suggestions/input from others suffering from similar problems.

So, we've had two children now... (Read on, if you are considering kids!)

My wife (barley 30) is now suffering from a fairly severe uterine prolapse with cystocele and rectocele. We've been to four doctors who all suggest surgery is the only real option left. There is a surgery tentatively scheduled for november, at the largest regional medical center in our area (6 hours away, and they are only place that can do this).

Basically the repair will involve removing the uterus and cervix, and using support mesh against rear side of the bladder and top of the vagina and possibly be attached support the rectal canal. This mesh will be tied into the tissue near the back of the hips/spine to pull everything back into place.

We've tried doing nothing. At this point, this is unacceptable. She is in constant pain, sex is painful in the one position we can have it in. Sex is not satisfying (for both of us), since she's loose and can't feel much, and she's loose and I can't feel much.

We've tried specialized physical therapists who do pelvic floor physical therapy (BTW: try to find one of these people), only to find that doing the exercises cause her more pain. (But at least I know how to gage a woman's pelvic floor strength and do proper internal muscle massage!)

A pessary is not an option, since it won't stay in, and won't help with sex. (And doesn't look all that much fun to begin with!)


Sex is basically mutual masturbation sessions. At least the vibrator doesn't hurt her and we can both orgasm in each others company. Occasionally we can have penatrative sex when she is on her back with her hips propped way up (thank you Liberator!) so that gravity pulls the uterus closer to where it should be. Oral and other things are hard for her, since she seems to have lost some sensitivity since the births. The amount of tearing damaged some her nerves, reducing sensitivity and diminishing muscle control.

Bowel movements are hard, and mild incontenence is also a problem.

All this being said, we still have a good sex life. It's just nothing like what it used to be. We still cum in each others company, so we still get the bonding experience, etc.



My questions are:

Has anyone had any repairs like this done? Colorado, Mayo, etc. How did they turn out? How did you handle the psychological aspect of losing your uterus?

Does anyone have any really creative suggestion to spice up sex a little more?

Anyone have any other words of wisdom?

A worried husband.

Dan

P.S. Kids are great, but they should tell you about these possibilities before you get started!

I worked for an OB/GYN office, and our docs all did this repair. We had many patients that were thrilled with the results of there surgery. There can be normal post op complications.....infection, blood clots, etc. But you can have those with any surgery. During the years I worked in the office, the most common complication I saw was some of the older women had problems urinating after there catheters were removed. Due to pain and swelling. But as they recovered, things improved and they were able to go on there own.

Good luck to your wife!

 

[dkak001]

I worked for an OB/GYN office, and our docs all did this repair. We had many patients that were thrilled with the results of there surgery. There can be normal post op complications.....infection, blood clots, etc. But you can have those with any surgery. During the years I worked in the office, the most common complication I saw was some of the older women had problems urinating after there catheters were removed. Due to pain and swelling. But as they recovered, things improved and they were able to go on there own.

Good luck to your wife!

We know about all of the possible complications, or at least we thought we did. Now she's getting frequent and recurrent UTI's and Yeast infections. The infection and abscess cleared up, which is good. Now doc's are suggesting a trip is to a urologist because of the UTI's...

It's amazing, This whole thing including complications has cost almost twice what our first house did! Sure glad the insurance is there!

Thanks for the support!