What do you do when you're depressed to pull yourself up?

[Bishop45]

Depression...ugh

Depression...ugh. It hits all of us from time to time. It has no purpose really except to remind us that we have needs that are not always satisfied.

The most important thing for anyone to remember, is that we all have value, which in my mind is no less nor greater than the value anyone else has. Each is as important as the next, yet, is an individual with a reason sometimes far different than the next.

Guaging our importance by the actions or reactions of another is a dangerous thing. I always try to remember (not always successfully) that if I always do the right thing (not seeking to hurt others but to hold them in as high esteem as myself), I will be O.K. I cannot always please others, but I can seek to make their circumstances better.

If I do not succeed, I have at least tried. The problem lies in the other persons inability to either accept the thing or acknowledge that NO ONE has absolute control over their lives.

The only thing that has lasting and changing power in our lives, is love. Not selfish or self-serving love, but love focused on serving others. Whatever the need.

Bishop

 

[Marquis]

It cracks me up that the exact same things that make me sad when I'm depressed fill me with joy when I'm feeling upbeat.

When I'm depressed, every challenge feels like it will kill me. When I'm upbeat, every challenge feels like an opportunity.

 

[ChromeCollar]

Hell I'll add to this thread.

Its midnight... and I havent visited Lit in months but I cant sleep and I'm miserable. The first man I've found to call master has more or less dismissed me, I'm broke due to a two week lull in business and I'm a bad mother. I feel like I'm living my life seperately. One is the real life I am living, which isnt nearly where I wanted to be, and constantly unhappy. The other is the one I present to friends and loved ones, where I'm strong, independant and can overcome all.

Reading threads like this makes it better to realize that my solitary unhappiness is not the only one out there, even though I feel terribly alone.

Misery loves company eh?

 

[Miss Trickery]

What do you do when you're depressed to pull yourself up?

I coax my man into making-love with me... usually lifts me right up and into the clouds. But that's just me.

 

[Etoile]

My addiction to Hello Kitty came out of a time when I was extremely depressed and alone. I found myself browsing through eBay search results for 'hello kitty' and I just fell in love. I knew who she was when I was younger, but it wasn't until this happened (around age 20) that I realized the true phenomenon that is Hello Kitty. I've been collecting her ever since. (Those who doubt me have not seen my guest bathroom.)

I know it's a weird answer to the question, but it's the truth and I thought it might amuse some of you. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/hellokitty.gif

 

[FurryFury]

Depression...ugh. It hits all of us from time to time. It has no purpose really except to remind us that we have needs that are not always satisfied.

The most important thing for anyone to remember, is that we all have value, which in my mind is no less nor greater than the value anyone else has. Each is as important as the next, yet, is an individual with a reason sometimes far different than the next.

Gauging our importance by the actions or reactions of another is a dangerous thing. I always try to remember (not always successfully) that if I always do the right thing (not seeking to hurt others but to hold them in as high esteem as myself), I will be O.K. I cannot always please others, but I can seek to make their circumstances better.

If I do not succeed, I have at least tried. The problem lies in the other persons inability to either accept the thing or acknowledge that NO ONE has absolute control over their lives.

The only thing that has lasting and changing power in our lives, is love. Not selfish or self-serving love, but love focused on serving others. Whatever the need.

Bishop

Hi Bishop!

You make some interesting points. I agree with all people having worth. Doing your best for yourself and others while acknowledging we do not have absolute control. In fact, control is largely an illusion to which we nonetheless cling while trying to make sense of our world.

I also believe in love a very great deal. I do often get caught up in the "I can't make them happy" thing. That is a very bad thing for me to do.

Thanks for contributing your ideas.

Fury

It cracks me up that the exact same things that make me sad when I'm depressed fill me with joy when I'm feeling upbeat.

When I'm depressed, every challenge feels like it will kill me. When I'm upbeat, every challenge feels like an opportunity.

Hi Marquis!

That is an interesting observation. I understand what you mean. We may be different in that, while being depressed for me, does make everything seem harder, the most difficult things, that help tip me into a bout of depression do not fill me with joy at any time.

Fury

Hell I'll add to this thread.

Its midnight... and I havent visited Lit in months but I cant sleep and I'm miserable. The first man I've found to call master has more or less dismissed me, I'm broke due to a two week lull in business and I'm a bad mother. I feel like I'm living my life seperately. One is the real life I am living, which isnt nearly where I wanted to be, and constantly unhappy. The other is the one I present to friends and loved ones, where I'm strong, independant and can overcome all.

Reading threads like this makes it better to realize that my solitary unhappiness is not the only one out there, even though I feel terribly alone.

Misery loves company eh?

Hi Chrome Collar!

I'm glad this thread helps a little. I know the pain of rejection and it does depress me. It sounds like you need to talk with a trusted friend, relative or professional. I had a friend who was feeling like a bad mother and wife. She had to open up about it to get the help she needed. Once she did, she was able to feel better about herself and her life very quickly. She is a wonderful person, very talented and a great mother as well as wife btw.

*HUGS*

Fury

I coax my man into making-love with me... usually lifts me right up and into the clouds. But that's just me.

Hi Miss Trickery!

And HELL YESSSSSSS!

I do that every chance I get. I also find spanking helps. Sex and spanking provides an even greater benefit. That alone does not usually take care of a depression but dayum, it's good and it can't "hurt!" *snicker* Self love and self spanking also help some, when a lover is not there or whatever. In my book the more you can take care of yourself the better.

Fury

My addiction to Hello Kitty came out of a time when I was extremely depressed and alone. I found myself browsing through eBay search results for 'hello kitty' and I just fell in love. I knew who she was when I was younger, but it wasn't until this happened (around age 20) that I realized the true phenomenon that is Hello Kitty. I've been collecting her ever since. (Those who doubt me have not seen my guest bathroom.)

I know it's a weird answer to the question, but it's the truth and I thought it might amuse some of you. http://www.amanita.net/images/smilies/hellokitty.gif

Hi Etoile!

Wow! What a bathroom! Very kitty full! You never know just what will help you fill up that hurting empty space.

My Mom is into Betty Boop.

I'm into dragons but I only have a few and I'm very picky about them.

When my daughter had to go with my evil ex, I would comb garage sales for items, mostly toys for her. It was a frugal way of dealing with the guilt and worry.

Fury

 

[shy slave]

Hell I'll add to this thread.

Its midnight... and I havent visited Lit in months but I cant sleep and I'm miserable. The first man I've found to call master has more or less dismissed me, I'm broke due to a two week lull in business and I'm a bad mother. I feel like I'm living my life seperately. One is the real life I am living, which isnt nearly where I wanted to be, and constantly unhappy. The other is the one I present to friends and loved ones, where I'm strong, independant and can overcome all.

Reading threads like this makes it better to realize that my solitary unhappiness is not the only one out there, even though I feel terribly alone.

Misery loves company eh?

Hi
Its taken me a while to get back to this thread.

No-one who says they are a bad mother actually is one.

Its those who hide away and appear perfect who have more issues than the rest of us put together.

We all love our kids, we work hard and try to be the best we can.

Sometimes our own standards are too high for anyone to meet. Therefore we feel we have let our children down.

Children are wonderful, resilient and amazing people who have far more understanding about good and bad parenting than any parent will ever understand.

Hug your kids, tell them you love them and they will know your human and love you back.

Take care Chrome Collar x

 

[Marquis]

Its those who hide away and appear perfect who have more issues than the rest of us put together.

Truer words were never spoken.

 

[babiesmiles]

Hi
Its taken me a while to get back to this thread.

No-one who says they are a bad mother actually is one.

Its those who hide away and appear perfect who have more issues than the rest of us put together.

We all love our kids, we work hard and try to be the best we can.

Sometimes our own standards are too high for anyone to meet. Therefore we feel we have let our children down.

Children are wonderful, resilient and amazing people who have far more understanding about good and bad parenting than any parent will ever understand.

Hug your kids, tell them you love them and they will know your human and love you back.

Take care Chrome Collar x

A lovely true post indeed Shy, exactly my opinion b.

 

[ellediablo]

So right now I'm feeling useless.

I can't write the way I usually do on the sexual or other role play threads.

I feel like I'm letting people down.

I feel I've been let down by someone I really cherished. I don't know why. If I did something wrong, got boring or he is just busy. *sighs*

I also feel like there is a certain person I can never make happy for long, which makes me not even want to try.

I want to write about blood and suicidal urges but that would probably be considered icky and wrong, wouldn't it?

So I'm trying to pull myself up.

Dennis only knocked out a few windows and power for a few hours, so that's good.

I have a wonderful life really.

Did two great gigs today.

Still I'm very draggy and blue.

Any ideas?

Thanks for listening if you got this far.

Fury

I would not ever contemplate suicide but - I do know how you feel, Fury. Really, I do. And, it's funny because - I am not the type to give in to depression - and I have not but - right now - I am so mad that - I could eat a bear because - I am trying to figure out what I did wrong to somebody. I mean - well...nevermind.


Hope you feel better, soon and...HUGS, to you.
I don't have any ideas for you because - I seem to be on a downward spiral and well - I would not be much help to you. Sorry.

 

[Totally_Unsure]

I tend to eat, or stay to myself.


p.s. Hope you are feeling better Fury


Totally

 

[Kierae]

Usually my depression is related to my arthritis. I have lived with pain pretty much non stop since mid 80's when my arthritis kicked out of remission and I started falling apart (began working on my bionic status). So basically when I lose a joint, lose the ability to do something, and am waiting around to have surgery with pain out of control for a length of a time - this is when depression kicks in. I never stay there too long (have done antidepressants for about a 3 year period awhile ago when I ended up having 5 surgeries in that 3 year span) and have found I can pull myself out with music and color. I am a music fiend and my emotions can flow with whatever I listen to. The need for color is filled thru expressioning myself artistically - doesn't matter what medium as long as I am doing something creatively. Once I have a project I am working on I can then process the feelings that are trying to consume me.

Living with this disease, it would have been real easy to just sink into permanent depression. Watching yourself lose the ability to do many things you love to do (let alone simple every day things) can be overwhelming. I have just learned to "erase" the line drawn in the sand and redraw it where I need it to be (that would be the line that society puts upon us that says we SHOULD be able to do). Fortunately I have been a scrapper all my life so I can honestly say suicide has never been an option let alone thought about.

 

[lil_elmo]

This is only my 2nd post. I went back into lurker mode after my first. Not sure why, but I did. I am now goign to make an honest effort to make myself known-- I am not sure if that is good or bad for the rest of the board.

I too suffer from depression and am on medications for it. One thing that has helped me when I am not doing good at all is-- a emergency basket. This basket has coloring books, paper, craft project, stickers, etc. Things that I can do to distract myself. It does work.
I also journal to try and figure out what has triggered my latest episode. I also see someone once a week that is helping me deal with my past and present. Maybe someday I can be "normal", whatever that is.
My latest depressive episode was due to my work and once I quit my job it started to get better. Hubby and I have agreed I will be a stay-at- home wife (which I have always wanted anyways).

Just my experiences hope it helps you out, Fury!

lil elmo

 

[graceanne]

Its those who hide away and appear perfect who have more issues than the rest of us put together.

I did that. Hell, I do that. And I have ulcers. It's probably a better idea to be obviously neurotic than to pretend that everything's fine, but I don't know of any other way to be.

 

[shy slave]

I did that. Hell, I do that. And I have ulcers. It's probably a better idea to be obviously neurotic than to pretend that everything's fine, but I don't know of any other way to be.

Sometimes pretending everything is ok, is a good way forward.
It depends on what we are pretending about.
It can be a good coping mechanism.

If we project a certain persona long enough gradually that persona starts to 'be' us.

Ergo someone who is shy but hides it soon becomes less shy and more confident.

Self-fulfilling Prophecy.

Your wonderful as just as you are Gracie

 

[graceanne]

Sometimes pretending everything is ok, is a good way forward.
It depends on what we are pretending about.
It can be a good coping mechanism.

If we project a certain persona long enough gradually that persona starts to 'be' us.

Ergo someone who is shy but hides it soon becomes less shy and more confident.

Self-fulfilling Prophecy.

Your wonderful as just as you are Gracie

Thanks, sweetie.

Pretending, in small doses is good. It helps. When I was a child I was not allowed to be angry or sad or . . . anything negative. It didn't stop me from doing it, but I learned to pretend to be ok or happy. Now I have to be really mad or really sad or whatever before I show how I'm feeling.

 

[FurryFury]

Hi
Its taken me a while to get back to this thread.

No-one who says they are a bad mother actually is one.

Its those who hide away and appear perfect who have more issues than the rest of us put together.

We all love our kids, we work hard and try to be the best we can.

Sometimes our own standards are too high for anyone to meet. Therefore we feel we have let our children down.

Children are wonderful, resilient and amazing people who have far more understanding about good and bad parenting than any parent will ever understand.

Hug your kids, tell them you love them and they will know your human and love you back.

Take care Chrome Collar x

Hi Shy Slave!

I agree with what you say here. Many of us try to hard to do too much for others. We therefore set ourselves up for failure and sadness. I realized on my recent vacation that I was trying to make people happy who either already were as happy as they were ever going to allow themselves to be or who would likely never be happy no matter what I did.

I hope you are feeling better today Chrome Collar.

Fury

Truer words were never spoken.

Hi Marquis!

I do think those that are all about appearances or live in a place of denial are worse off than others.

BTW, I like that new av!

Fury

A lovely true post indeed Shy, exactly my opinion b.

Hi Babiesmiles!

I agree, our Shy is a very smart lady!

Fury

I would not ever contemplate suicide but - I do know how you feel, Fury. Really, I do. And, it's funny because - I am not the type to give in to depression - and I have not but - right now - I am so mad that - I could eat a bear because - I am trying to figure out what I did wrong to somebody. I mean - well...nevermind.


Hope you feel better, soon and...HUGS, to you.
I don't have any ideas for you because - I seem to be on a downward spiral and well - I would not be much help to you. Sorry.

Hi Ellediablo!

I am sorry you are going through a rough patch too. *HUGS* Anger can easily be transferred into many things, depression among them.

This thread was started some time ago. I am feeling MUCH better most of the time now. It was a very deep and for me, rare depression that started all this.

I have thought of suicide a very great deal in my life. I think of it far to easily. Considering what a great life I have it's pretty ridiculous but true nonetheless.

Anyway, as I said I am doing much, much better. Right now I am overly busy, (aren't we all?) and pretty happy.

Thanks for your contribution and well wishes.

I am sending some good thoughts back to you!

Fury

I tend to eat, or stay to myself.

p.s. Hope you are feeling better Fury

Hi Totally_Unsure!

I am feeling much better! Yes, at times eating did help me a bit. That was waaaaaay back in my first marriage from hell.

When I am overwhelmed I do like to be by myself in a nice snug quiet place. Such places are hard to find! LOL! At least at my house they are.

Other times I like to turn off the lights and just fall into music.

Thanks for you input!

Fury

Usually my depression is related to my arthritis. I have lived with pain pretty much non stop since mid 80's when my arthritis kicked out of remission and I started falling apart (began working on my bionic status). So basically when I lose a joint, lose the ability to do something, and am waiting around to have surgery with pain out of control for a length of a time - this is when depression kicks in. I never stay there too long (have done antidepressants for about a 3 year period awhile ago when I ended up having 5 surgeries in that 3 year span) and have found I can pull myself out with music and color. I am a music fiend and my emotions can flow with whatever I listen to. The need for color is filled thru expressioning myself artistically - doesn't matter what medium as long as I am doing something creatively. Once I have a project I am working on I can then process the feelings that are trying to consume me.

Living with this disease, it would have been real easy to just sink into permanent depression. Watching yourself lose the ability to do many things you love to do (let alone simple every day things) can be overwhelming. I have just learned to "erase" the line drawn in the sand and redraw it where I need it to be (that would be the line that society puts upon us that says we SHOULD be able to do). Fortunately I have been a scrapper all my life so I can honestly say suicide has never been an option let alone thought about.

Hi Kierae!

I am so impressed by you! What you are dealing with and how you work through it is so much more than I have ever had to.

*HUGS*

You are wonderful in my book, inspirational even!

Fury

This is only my 2nd post. I went back into lurker mode after my first. Not sure why, but I did. I am now goign to make an honest effort to make myself known-- I am not sure if that is good or bad for the rest of the board.

I too suffer from depression and am on medications for it. One thing that has helped me when I am not doing good at all is-- a emergency basket. This basket has coloring books, paper, craft project, stickers, etc. Things that I can do to distract myself. It does work.
I also journal to try and figure out what has triggered my latest episode. I also see someone once a week that is helping me deal with my past and present. Maybe someday I can be "normal", whatever that is.
My latest depressive episode was due to my work and once I quit my job it started to get better. Hubby and I have agreed I will be a stay-at- home wife (which I have always wanted anyways).

Just my experiences hope it helps you out, Fury!
lil elmo

Hi Lil Elmo!

I am glad you have gotten away from a work situation that depressed you. I was in one a while back and it can really drain you.

I love to color too! Though I rarely seem to have time for such things except when I prepare props. Those I tend to use markers for because when you laminate crayon pic the wax runs, making it really freaky looking! I have my own box of 96 crayons in pristine condition that I don't let the kids touch. (They probably have several thousand crayons around the house.)

I hope you enjoy being a stay at home wife. Personally I have found that I need my outlets to feel connected and useful as a stay at home mom and wife.

So I highly recommend making time for you alone and with friends, as well as dates with your husband.

I am very glad I was able to stay at home with the kids for a great number of years but I wasn't being me really. I was being the mom and wife, taking care of everyone else but me most of the time. So just be careful of that. I wouldn't take back any of that time. I would just schedule more me time in it.

When I started back to work part time I really enjoyed it, at least up until the evil bitch boss came into the picture. Now I am self employed again and I love that too.

Best wishes to you on your new, hopefully, less stressful lifestyle!

Fury

I did that. Hell, I do that. And I have ulcers. It's probably a better idea to be obviously neurotic than to pretend that everything's fine, but I don't know of any other way to be.

Hi Beautiful Graceanne!

There is a difference between knowing what's wrong or being in denial that anything is. Those who choose to use positive language, outlook and actions, like yourself are doing it for a very good reason.

I was trying to tell my daughter about this a while back. She said it was lying to herself. I said bullshit! It is encouraging yourself to think more positively! Just because you feel like shit doesn't mean you can't try to feel better by whatever means possible. Many of the negative messages we run in our brains are no more "true" than the positive ones we can use instead. I believe that absolutely.

There are many things that I have chosen to work on and improve in myself through my life. In fact, there seems to be no end of them. LOL! I was talking with a friend about this last night. When will I simply say, "I'm good enough," or "It's time to rest?" Likely that day will never come. There is always more to work on and more to learn. Really I think that is a large part of what life is a about.

*hugs*

Fury

Sometimes pretending everything is ok, is a good way forward.
It depends on what we are pretending about.
It can be a good coping mechanism.

If we project a certain persona long enough gradually that persona starts to 'be' us.

Ergo someone who is shy but hides it soon becomes less shy and more confident.

Self-fulfilling Prophecy.

Your wonderful as just as you are Gracie

Hi Shy!

Once again I agree with what you say! *hugs*

Fury

Thanks, sweetie.

Pretending, in small doses is good. It helps. When I was a child I was not allowed to be angry or sad or . . . anything negative. It didn't stop me from doing it, but I learned to pretend to be ok or happy. Now I have to be really mad or really sad or whatever before I show how I'm feeling.

Hi beautiful Graceanne!

Kids should be allowed to feel what they do. How kids deal with emotions is so different and interesting from the way most adults do. Most people are not aware of all that. I had to be to deal with my daughter and her feelings.

I know in my case, when I was a kid, I had to keep a tight grasp on my feelings or risk rage attacks from my parents. I also often would display very marked opposite emotions of whatever they were doing. I think that was some sad attempt to "balance" the emotions in the room.

I had to please people then, to survive. I learned a lot of interesting things about life most of which I could now discard and probably should.

My husband knows that if I get quiet, it's not a good sign. If I start cleaning it's a really, really bad sign. Other than that, he can count on me to tell him what's up. if, and this is key, we have the time to talk.

I am thankful everyday for his support and understanding.

Fury

 

[graceanne]

Hi beautiful Graceanne!

Kids should be allowed to feel what they do. How kids deal with emotions is so different and interesting from the way most adults do. Most people are not aware of all that. I had to be to deal with my daughter and her feelings.

I know in my case, when I was a kid, I had to keep a tight grasp on my feelings or risk rage attacks from my parents. I also often would display very marked opposite emotions of whatever they were doing. I think that was some sad attempt to "balance" the emotions in the room.

I had to please people then, to survive. I learned a lot of interesting things about life most of which I could now discard and probably should.

Fury

Yeah, me too. I was an enabler, a scape goat, and a mommy. I was making breakfast for my sister at 5, cause my mom was passed out drunk. By the time I was three I'd memorized three different stories and I'd tell them to my sister (2) so she'd go to sleep at night. I learned that nothing I did would please my mother, because I wasn't my sister. I made the huge mistake of looking like her, and that meant that I was like her. Well all the bad things of her. When I was seven she told me that she loved my sister more because my sister was more loveable. When I was fourteen I attempted suicide several times because I realized that nothing I ever did was going to make my mother love me like I wanted her to. I heard that song on the radio that goes 'I can't make you love me if you won't, you can't make a heart feel something it wont. . . ' and I cried my heart out. Either she didn't hear me crying or she didn't care. She's always been very capable of only seeing/hearing what she wants. I tried to slit my wrists (had scratches all over my wrists) and she didn't see, I stole half of her zoloft and took them, and she didn't notice. But let me tell you - if it appeared like some of the cough medicine was missing she was in my room accusing me of drunkeness.

If she cought me crying or angry she'd loose it. Screaming and calling me names. And then T (my step dad) would start with the guilt trips. Hours of lecturing me on how hard I was making it for them. I prefered her screaming.

I'm just depressed today. Tomorrow I'll come and erase this pity party. lol

 

[FurryFury]

Hi Beautiful Graceanne!

*HUGS*

I'm so sorry to hear what your family did to you when they should have been protecting you, teaching you and treating you like the treasure you are!

My girl and I are still talking about some of the things my ex did to her. I am so angry that I couldn't protect her from all that. All I could do was try to provide a stable home and warm arms around her. Now at least she can talk some of it out.

Fury

 

[Andante]

........ I'm just depressed today. Tomorrow I'll come and erase this pity party. lol

Reading this makes it obvious that you should be very proud of being the person you are today!

 

[Etoile]

I'm just depressed today. Tomorrow I'll come and erase this pity party.

I hope you're feeling better for the moment. No need to erase your post, though...I often think it's a good idea to leave posts intact so we can see where we've been.

 

[FurryFury]

I feel like crap but I'm doing good.

In spite of my lil girl being sick this week, me getting sick and having to cancel my first gig ever due to last minute illness, my lap top and car being somewhat fucked up and TONS of work I need to do but haven't been able to?

I'm not depressed! Yay me.

Fury

(Please note: The previous statement is the opinion of the writer only and may or may not reflect the opinions of those around her.)

 

[blackpenblueink]

Take Meds. That saves me from killing myself, or some fucking moron . I do that for awhile, (year or more) and then settle back into life. It comes and goes. I may be BI-Polar.

 

[FurryFury]

Take Meds. That saves me from killing myself, or some fucking moron . I do that for awhile, (year or more) and then settle back into life. It comes and goes. I may be BI-Polar.

Sounds like you've found something that works for you! That is great!

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

Another couple of books that I found in the basement today, which helped me at a certain time:

Prescription For Anger, Coping With Angry feelings and Angrey People by Gary Hankins Ph.D., with Carol Hankins.

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay.

Fury