What do you really think about bisexuals?

[Pookie]

Why do people have a hard time with bi-sexuals? It's about definition, bi-sexuals can have relationships with both sexes...No clear concise definition....As much as we fight the power for labels, people feel more comfortable with labels....That is a nice heterosexual, or homosexual....OOOOhhhhh bisexual leaves the proverbial market doors wide open....

My girlfriend is I guess bi-sexual, having had long term relationships with men, even marrying one....But I know, and she knows that our relationship is the most fulfilling she has ever known, so really how should she or I define her....Me I settle with MINE, she has some more to learn about herself before she reaches for any label.....

I don't see it as being about "labels." I see it more as about understanding who we are. Labels are a part of life though. However, I don't get hung up about them. If a label fits, so what? It doesn't change who I am.

 

[sexy-girl]

I don't see it as being about "labels." I see it more as about understanding who we are. Labels are a part of life though. However, I don't get hung up about them. If a label fits, so what? It doesn't change who I am.

i agree labels are useful ... just because you're accepting that it doesn't mean you're letting your "label" define you

 

[Pookie]

i agree labels are useful ... just because you're accepting that it doesn't mean you're letting your "label" define you

I like to think I create my own labels.

 

[Never]

Stuponfucious:
" So does this mean you'll do me anyway?
If you promise not to break my heart and leave me for a penis.

Mansome:
" I don't see how anyone can select any of those choices in that poll...."
And yet, several people have managed to do so. I'll give you a hint if you want one.

" Plus lying to someone about your age?"
No, I did not lie to anyone about my age. My writing style led her to believe I was older than I was. She did not inquire as to my age until we had known one another for some time.

Pookie:
" They're "bi-sexual," but not what I like to call "bi-amorous."
Pookie, do you think this is an inherent characteristic or caused by the larger social environment? I can sympathize with bisexuals who constantly choose partners of the opposite sex. Lesbians tend to have a host of 'issues' and same sex partnership carry with them a load of problems straight ones do not.

Frimost:
" What's wrong with women liking a bone-hard penis know and then?"
I find it unnatural. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

 

[SweetErika]

Well, I'm bisexual. I've had more than a "few" experiences, and have been around more than a few bisexuals. Based on my experiences, I feel very comfortable with what I stated above. Because of my experiences, I feel I'm in a much better position than most people would be to make my assessment. Granted, I'll never know "all" or "most" bisexuals, but that's really far from necessary.

I just feel when people are basing their opinions on a relatively small sample, they probably shouldn't use words like most that signify the majority. I've run into and talked to quite a few women who are downright bitches, but I wouldn't say "most women are bitches" because I don't know and haven't talked to most women. (I'm not trying to be a bitch here, Pookie, I just find that sometimes people will take a well-intentioned statement and run with it to the point that they're using it as evidence to justify rediculous ideas.)

So would you classify yourself in the bisexual or biamorous category?

 

[mansome]

Never...
I'm sure people have voted on your poll....

seems like a silly premise though.... it's like asking "what are your feelings on straight people"

or "what are your feeling on african americans"?

what IS there to think? to quote Depeche Mode "People are People"....

I just can't understand people answering..

"Yeah, I think people who are bisexual are just people who want more sex with more people"

I know people's perceptions are their own and to them perception is reality....
but please...

having an opinion on what you "think about bisexuals" just really promotes bigotry and stereotypes ... even if in the mildest and unintentional form.......

 

[Never]

Mansome,
Your ignorance has become tiresome fairly quickly. The fact that you don't think people should have opinions on bisexuals doesn't change the fact that they do and that I'm interested in knowing what those opinions are. Given that most people here can't read my mind and PM me the answer I'm forced to post 'silly' questions in order to find out.

As for the idea that I am promoting stereotypes and bigotry or that people posting their opinions are doing the same, I disagree. If you want to get rid of stereotypes then you have to communicate honestly. Pretending they're not there doesn't do a damn thing.

 

[mansome]

Ok.. how about this?

Never....
in the interest of what you say "breaking stereotypes" by fostering discussion about people's perceptions and generalizations of said minority groups... let me ask YOU

what your opinion is of black people....

just answer this question honestly.....

or is this out of your comfort level to be honest about.. OR
is there really not an answer to that ridiculous question..

It's true.. we all have opinions on various subjects...and there's not a single person that doesn't judge another..... and if they say they don't they are liars....

BUT what you JUDGE.. is behavior.. not a label you put on somone.. you judge the person and what they do...

SO.. by not talking about specifics..and just the group of people you would label as "black people"

what is YOUR opinion on them?

 

[ifun26]

Well, being bicurious I am just looking for the person who can make me feel good right now. If that is a man then so be it. If it is a women then that is great as well. I find both attractive and love the ability to choose.

 

[Equinoxe]

For the record, I went with the ubiquitous other, because while I am not bisexual myself I think bisexuality is perfectly valid, though I am also often vexed by faux bisexuals (as I find that insulting to lesbians, gays, and bisexuals). Of course, I suppose they don't really count. I guess in general I prefer to judge people individually.

As for all the bisexuals stating that gender doesn't matter to them, I think that's cute. Nonsense, but cute. And by that I mean that I would think it means something, just that one would be capable of falling in love with someone of either gender, not blind to it. Or is that semantic?

In Never's perfect world, everyone would be bisexual. I find my inability to be attracted to men irritating. I also find it charming when someone honestly says they love "the person, not what's in their pants." It's almost virtuous.

I wouldn't say it's virtuous, just different. Also, I wouldn't worry about perfect worlds or be irritated by who you are. Now, if only I could take my own advice.

Hmm. Tricky one. Yes, gender has something to do with it. But there is far more to any person than that. Gender is a physical thing, and while your gender certainly impacts on your personality, I think that all the other factors which also impact on it outweigh gender.

Suffice to say, I think that love goes beyond physical boundaries, cheap and tacky though that may sound.

Also, I generally feel vaguely suspicious about people who feel their gender is important beyond practical concerns (politics and biology, mostly). Being male or female doesn't have to be important when deciding how one should think or act.

Simply because I agree with you about York will not spare you my wrath.

Sex refers to the sum total of physical characteristics, as there are primary sex characteristics (genitalia) and secondary sex characteristics (things like pubic hair). It is the result of genetics and hormones. Gender refers to the psychological identity of a person. Gender is shaped by a variety of things, including environmental, societal, and cognitive factors. Thus gender has everything to do with how one thinks and acts. Although some might prefer to think otherwise, the fact that men and women are different is not just a mainstay of uninspired stand-up comics, it is also science.

The fact that you don't think people should have opinions on bisexuals doesn't change the fact that they do and that I'm interested in knowing what those opinions are. Given that most people here can't read my mind and PM me the answer I'm forced to post 'silly' questions in order to find out.

As for the idea that I am promoting stereotypes and bigotry or that people posting their opinions are doing the same, I disagree. If you want to get rid of stereotypes then you have to communicate honestly. Pretending they're not there doesn't do a damn thing.

I absolutely agree. People have opinions on bisexuality and indeed many in the gay community do have a negative opinion of bisexuals. Pretending that isn't true will accomplish nothing and honest discussion is the path to ending stereotypes and bigotry, not prolonging it.

Also, mansome, Blasphemous Rumours is a much better song.

I'm sure I left something out, but I can't figure out what.

 

[Never]

Re: Ok.. how about this?

Mansome,
"or is this out of your comfort level to be honest about.."
Not at all.

"is there really not an answer to that ridiculous question.."
But there is an answer because I have an opinion about black people.

"what your opinion is of black people"
As a group, I am irritated at the way the black community sabotages itself and how readily it conforms to the perceptions of the dominant, white society. For instance, the majority of gangta rap is produced by white men for a white, male audience yet many inner city young, black men model their dress on speech on it. Well to do blacks often look down on less educated or poorer blacks. I think Bill Cosby's rant springs to mind. Here is a man who was born poor but has so closed himself off from his origins he asks as though poorer blacks are to blame for their poverty.

I feel for black women as they're often left to keep families together in an age when family is temporary at best. I often find younger black women put far too much emphasis on their sexuality and desirability. As difficult as it may be, I think they need to realize that no one is going to help them. They need to start putting their own goals first and looking out for themselves.

Does that answer your question?
Oh, and what was your point?

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

As for me, I am straight. Too damn straight, sadly, since there are some women I know I could have had wonderful realtionships with if it were in me to go the next level with them.

However, my daughter AND her fiancee are bi.

For her, she has told me that she feels personally that she could date another woman, but not have a long term realtionship with one, and vica versa for guys. In fact, she's never had a realtionship with a boy for less than six months, and it was he that broke it off.

As for her fiancee, she is the frist girl he's ever been with. Not the frist girl he's kissed, but the frist boob he's touched etc, yes. I suspect that if they ever did break up, and it was his fault, he'd leave her for another guy and not a different girl.

As for myself, I have friends who are gay, straight, bi and pre-operative trans-gender, and it makes no never mind to me.

Whom they love and why they love is a side issue, as all I wish for them is that they love and are loved equally in return.

 

[Xectxny19X]

I'm bisexual and believe in falling in love with a soul. Females are physically more attractive to me than guys but romantically, I can be with either or given the right person.

 

[Regis2001]

Sex refers to the sum total of physical characteristics... Gender refers to the psychological identity of a person.

Sorry. Please replace all references I make to 'gender' with the word 'sex'. But I still stand by my opinion - I distrust people who have what might be said to be an abnormally strong gender identity. If people base the way they think and act (as I said, beyond practical concerns) on their sex then that strikes me as a bit odd. Nobody should have to behave in a certain way simply because they are male or female. This is the point I was trying to make.

I agree with you about York

I love you, I hope you know that.

 

[Equinoxe]

Sorry. Please replace all references I make to 'gender' with the word 'sex'. But I still stand by my opinion - I distrust people who have what might be said to be an abnormally strong gender identity. If people base the way they think and act (as I said, beyond practical concerns) on their sex then that strikes me as a bit odd. Nobody should have to behave in a certain way simply because they are male or female. This is the point I was trying to make.

That much I mostly agree with. I mean, a person's gender affects them in a subconscious sense generally. Any idea that one must behave one way would be ridiculous and contrived as would any conscious rebelling against that ("Society says I'm supposed to act this way, so I'll be different;" it's remarkably common amongst gays and lesbians). Ultimately, I suppose making too big a deal out of anything in life is missing the point. But ignoring something is equally a mistake. The middle path... Or something.

I love you, I hope you know that.

Thank you, but don't take that too far, it'll get you no where.

 

[Pookie]

I just feel when people are basing their opinions on a relatively small sample, they probably shouldn't use words like most that signify the majority. I've run into and talked to quite a few women who are downright bitches, but I wouldn't say "most women are bitches" because I don't know and haven't talked to most women. (I'm not trying to be a bitch here, Pookie, I just find that sometimes people will take a well-intentioned statement and run with it to the point that they're using it as evidence to justify rediculous ideas.)

So would you classify yourself in the bisexual or biamorous category?

I do think some base their opinions on too few experiences. I think unsupported generalizations can be made too easily at times because of that too. However, I base my opinion on what I believe is knowledge that most people don't easily have the opportunity to achieve. Granted, I haven't purposely researched this, so my experiences do have a personal bias to some degree. Also, I think using the "bitch" analogy is not quite appropriate as a comparison as well. I can be a real bitch today, but not one tomorrow. I can't turn off and on my sexual orientation and feelings. "Bitchiness" is a very subjective thing too. And I think most of us would agree that saying most women are bitches would be unfair, but saying we can be very bitchy at times is probably quite accurate.

Experiencing a representative sample is all anyone can do. True, I don't know directly about the majority of bisexuals. But that's also true when you look at things like political beliefs, who's leading in a political campaign, etc. But a good sample, even a small one, can be very representative of the whole. But, I can appreciate your desire not to apply something to the larger population based on small samples.

My experiences, at least with bisexual women, lead me to believe that for the majority it's just a physical/sexual attraction. A majority can range anywhere from 50.1% to 99.9%. This is based on listening to the things they say, as well as their actions. Of all the bisexuals I've encountered, I only believed a few showed any predilection for being in an amorous relationship with a same-sex partner. Some have outright stated that they just enjoy the sexual experiences.

As for being bisexual or biamorous, I don't believe you can be biamorous without being bisexual. I've been in two intimate relationships with girls. Things didn't work out for various reasons. I could easily be in another such relationship depending on the person and opportunity.

 

[Pookie]

Pookie:
" They're "bi-sexual," but not what I like to call "bi-amorous."
Pookie, do you think this is an inherent characteristic or caused by the larger social environment? I can sympathize with bisexuals who constantly choose partners of the opposite sex. Lesbians tend to have a host of 'issues' and same sex partnership carry with them a load of problems straight ones do not.

I think for many it's an inherent characteristic. But I can't discount too much the effects of the social environment we all live within. I wonder how many bisexuals could/would become involved in amorous relationships with the same sex if the world was much more tolerant of queers.

 

[Harrowborg]

I think for many it's an inherent characteristic. But I can't discount too much the effects of the social environment we all live within. I wonder how many bisexuals could/would become involved in amorous relationships with the same sex if the world was much more tolerant of queers.

When I read something like that I can't help but wonder when you were hurt in life. I've read a few posts to this thread and come away with the impression that you seem to say all bi-sexual people appear to be after sex and thats all they seem to be able to understand. Speaking for myself, it took of courage to tell my family and friends I wasn't a traditional 'hetro-sexual' male or some 'queer' but someone who liked both. I am presently involved with a guy and I could see us being together, does this mean I'm gay? well, no. I've had relationships with women in the past and could in the future. Its kinda upsetting to read posts like that which suggests its a fad or some fashion status to say your bi. Anyway, I've written this post prety much from the heart so if you wanna respond, criticise whatever, go ahead.

 

[Pookie]

When I read something like that I can't help but wonder when you were hurt in life. I've read a few posts to this thread and come away with the impression that you seem to say all bi-sexual people appear to be after sex and thats all they seem to be able to understand. Speaking for myself, it took of courage to tell my family and friends I wasn't a traditional 'hetro-sexual' male or some 'queer' but someone who liked both. I am presently involved with a guy and I could see us being together, does this mean I'm gay? well, no. I've had relationships with women in the past and could in the future. Its kinda upsetting to read posts like that which suggests its a fad or some fashion status to say your bi. Anyway, I've written this post prety much from the heart so if you wanna respond, criticise whatever, go ahead.

Where did I say "all"? Where did I even say that was all that they seem to be able to "understand." For that matter, where did I say any of what you believe I seem to be saying? Maybe you should read my posts before making a statement like you did above ... about what you gained from reading my posts.

I seem to recall specifically stating at least once that I didn't say "ALL" bisexuals were only interested in sex ...

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&postid=11021022#post11021022

I did say "most," not all. And from my experiences, I believe this is true. "Bisexual" by most definitions is a physical/sexual attraction. This doesn't necessarily equate to love though. I know bisexuals that are only interested in the sexual aspects of being with the same gender. There is no desire on their part to be in a romantic relationship. I can understand how homosexuals could easily be burned by pursuing a romantic relationship with a bisexual who only has a physical attraction for the same sex. But as I said, not all bisexuals are this way. Some can very easily fall in love with a same-sex partner, and have long-term amorous relationships.

 

[Harrowborg]

My personal belief is that most bisexuals only have a physical attraction to the same sex. They can (and desire to) have a romantic relationship with the opposite sex, but not with a same-sex partner. I believe this is because for most bisexuals the desire is just not there for a deep longterm amorous relationship with a same-sex partner. Besides a possible close friendship, the physical attraction is basically all there is to it. They're "bi-sexual," but not what I like to call "bi-amorous."

When you say something like that I think it kinda supports with what I was saying but if I've got what your saying wrong then I'm sorry but thats how it comes across.

 

[Pookie]

When you say something like that I think it kinda supports with what I was saying but if I've got what your saying wrong then I'm sorry but thats how it comes across.

It might support it if I hadn't said "most" or "majority" in pretty much every post I've made. It takes ignoring a good bit to get what you have from my posts. But whatever.

 

[sexy-girl]

we should have more threads about the differences between gays, bisexuals and straights ... is an interesting thread but i think theres a lot of misunderstandings in this thread

 

[anne27]

I don't think I'll ever understand why there is hostility towards bisexuals in the GLBT community. I guess if people need to feel superior to someone, there is always a group readily available.

I am unapogetically bi. It is NOT just about sex for me. I have loved both men and women, but have yet to have a LT relationship with another woman. I'd like to at some point.

To me, being bisexual is about what goes on between my ears, not between my legs.

And Never, thanks for starting this thread. It's created some interesting discussion.

 

[reddcutie]

i think that the problem..

maybe that currently, our society has decided that it is hot, sexy, or whatever for women to be bisexual....that means that there will be ALOT of attention seeking females playing around with other girls for the benefit of any males they wish to excite....I for one am SICK and tired of women who engage in this behavior...it is perpetuating the idea that bisexuals are over-sexed,unfaithful and generally attention whores...we genuine bisexual females dont need further objectification---

 

[sexy-girl]

I don't think I'll ever understand why there is hostility towards bisexuals in the GLBT community. I guess if people need to feel superior to someone, there is always a group readily available.

i think that some of the hostility go's both ways