What do you think about Nice Guys?

[Needfull Thing]

I hear a lot of women say that they just get tired of the assholes out there, the ones who cheat, lie, use and abuse them and not in the sexy ways. But then I see those same women overlook the kind and decent guys like they do not exist.

So I'm curious girls. What do you think about the nice men, the ones who will hold the door open for you and buy you flowers and eat your cunny just because they want to and its not your birthday or some other special occasion?

Is the nice guy a lost cause when it comes to lust?

 

[RedHeadedGlory]

Being nice (as being a basically decent, respectful human being) is something everyone should have as a base, but that's all it is. You still need personality, interests, humor, etc. It can't be the main thing that defines you as a person.

That said, nice is a loaded word. I've seen it used by guys who decide that because they don't intentionally kick puppies for fun they're "too nice" and that's the crux of their problems.

Most of them seem more passive aggressive than they do nice, because nice seems to end as soon as it doesn't get them what they want, and whiny quickly takes it's place.

If you have personality, maintain boundaries (something that nice people don't always know how to do) and pace yourself being nice will compliment those things.

Being "nice" in and of itself won't get OR lose you someone.

 

[Guest]

Being "nice" in and of itself won't get OR lose you someone.

Nope.... but being good looking can get a man someone.... even if he has the personality of a plank.

And that's the truth no matter how many times women try to kid themselves and everyone else that it's personality and a 'GSOH' that's most important to them.

They're just as shallow as men... moreso.... because men don't try and lie about it so much.

 

[Needfull Thing]

Nope.... but being good looking can get a man someone.... even if he has the personality of a plank.

And that's the truth no matter how many times women try to kid themselves and everyone else that it's personality and a 'GSOH' that's most important to them.

They're just as shallow as men... moreso.... because men don't try and lie about it so much.

I'll have you know I lie about my shallowness often!

But yes. I am really curious about this concept. I asked the question on another forum and really got a lot of responses. Varied opinions. But the gist is that the word Nice has become a curse. Its a bad word to so many.

I'm trying to understand why. And as for the red head above, No ONE is ever really JUST anything. If You define someone by one single characteristic and then find them boring thats your foul, not theirs. Everybody has interests and hobbies and such. Maybe you should try looking deeper.

But back to topic, I am really curious. Is nice a bad word?

 

[anneski]

I think the problem with the word 'nice' is that it's become a 'just' word.

Like,

" how was dinner? "

"Oh, it was nice. "

*frosty silence* "Just nice??"


It's as if it's not emphatic enough for people now.

 

[Lady_Liz]

I hear a lot of women say that they just get tired of the assholes out there, the ones who cheat, lie, use and abuse them and not in the sexy ways. But then I see those same women overlook the kind and decent guys like they do not exist.

So I'm curious girls. What do you think about the nice men, the ones who will hold the door open for you and buy you flowers and eat your cunny just because they want to and its not your birthday or some other special occasion?

Is the nice guy a lost cause when it comes to lust?

Nice is a word I usually only use to describe someone I had just met or someone that I don't know very well. For instance if I was describing one of my close friends or a lover, I would certainly never use the word nice...it's to generic.

I would have to say most people that I meet earn the word 'nice' unless I've personally witnessed otherwise against myself or another person.

I have to agree with the poster above who said that the question about nice men is really not thourough enough for us to make a decision about whether lust comes into the equation. He certainly better be 'nice' to start with and then does this person and I click personality-wise? How does this person make me feel about myself. Does this person make me laugh? Am I attracted to them? I need to know the whole package before I can answer a question about lust.

Sorry, just by being a 'nice' guy, I can't answer your question.

 

[boutrosboutros]

Most of them seem more passive aggressive than they do nice, because nice seems to end as soon as it doesn't get them what they want, and whiny quickly takes it's place.

Well said. The "nice guy" strategy is no different to any other - just a way to try to get women. A rather unsuccessful strategy at that.

I have to say I don't get this weird dichotomy between "the ones who cheat, lie, use and abuse them and not in the sexy ways" and "the ones who will hold the door open for you and buy you flowers". I don't use or abuse women but nor am I some fawning goody-goody. I'm a normal person. There's a lot to be said for that, above being a "nice guy".

 

[bkntoy]

All guys start out in the beginning as "Nice Guys".

The problem is after a few months the nice wears off and you either have a whiner or a jerk.

I prefer a guy who shows me that he isn't perfect from the start.

Honesty matters to me.

 

[fire_breeze]

I hear a lot of women say that they just get tired of the assholes out there, the ones who cheat, lie, use and abuse them and not in the sexy ways. But then I see those same women overlook the kind and decent guys like they do not exist.

So I'm curious girls. What do you think about the nice men, the ones who will hold the door open for you and buy you flowers and eat your cunny just because they want to and its not your birthday or some other special occasion?

Is the nice guy a lost cause when it comes to lust?

I agree with most of the statements above: Nice is generic. The problem with the term 'nice' is that it is often equated with 'spineless' or 'pushover'. I've often hear from my friends, "he's a great guy, really nice - a little too nice." It's not that he is considerate, or that he likes to do things for others, but that he does it to have everyone like him. He doesn't do what he wants to. I like it when I'm treated as a lady by a gentleman, opening the door for me, bring me flowers and is polite. I know I am a lady (blame it on my upbringing). But I also like it if he stands up to who he is, that he is true to himself, is sensual and that he doesn't let me walk all over him, essentially, has a spine. One can be nice, respectful (even when it comes to lust) and not be passive.

I probably didn't make any sense...

 

[WeatheredWitch]

I gave up on titles and early perceptions a long time ago. When I first meet someone they always seem to want to impress and it takes a while for that to go away. So I do try to give everyone I meet a chance. True nice or good guys are a very rare breed, and I have been blessed to know a couple of them as friends. But there are a lot of guys who say they are nice guys or gentlemen who are really just doormats, complainers and general jerks and they are not worth my time or the hassles they cause in my life.

 

[Miles Long]

I just want to say that I think this is a really nice thread, and I look forward to seeing more of it in the near future.

 

[NeedleNaHey]

Well guys can be the same way too though. I mean I often find myself overlooking women that are not as good looking as the bitchy type. I end going for the good looks and later on in the relationship I find that looks is all that is their, the rest is just trash. I've been called nice but boring by women, or some say i'm too childish or immature because I like to joke around every once in a while. At this point in my life I just stopped trying to MR. Nice guy and just be myself take or leave it.

 

[MikefromAZ]

My thing is girls complain their boyfriends are dicks but they always go for them. Can't they just see the errors of their ways?

I am a nice guy but the main reason i don't get dates is the fact that I am shy. I have always been and it is over a disability I had when I was younger. That or people guess I am from Boston with my "accent" when I am really a New Yorker.

 

[mark_j]

Well guys you just heard it..

If you are nice you are going to get overlooked..

Wimp
Whiner
Spineless
Doormatt

pretty much narrows it down

 

[MikefromAZ]

Well guys you just heard it..

If you are nice you are going to get overlooked..

Wimp
Whiner
Spineless
Doormatt

pretty much narrows it down

It's not that. Nice guys don't have to be shy, spineless, worms. Nice guys could be as strong as anyone else and I refuse to say anymore about this topic as I am tired of seeing this on every forum I am a part of.

 

[fire_breeze]

It's not that. Nice guys don't have to be shy, spineless, worms. Nice guys could be as strong as anyone else and I refuse to say anymore about this topic as I am tired of seeing this on every forum I am a part of.

Thank you... this is what I was trying to say.

I probably should have sticked to straight-forward sentences, eh?

 

[cockycarp]

i have found being confident and comfortable in who I am has also allowed me to be nice, without being a doormat.....i am as comfortable to open the door and pull out a chair, as to say bluntly kiss my ass....

 

[Miles Long]

A man can be a nice guy and at the same time know what he wants out of life and be assertive and decisive enough to stick up for himself and go out and get it. These aren't mutually exclusive traits.

But if a guy is constantly rejected by women for being "a nice guy" it seems to me he has 3 options.

1. Don't ask out those women. Go find different women to ask out. I bet somewhere there are women who are looking for nice guys.
2. Be more of a jerk. Increase jerk-ness level until sufficient for the women who have previously rejected him to change their minds.
3. Change nothing and die bitter and alone.

Perhaps a bit harsh, but that's the way I look at it. *shrugs*

 

[Needfull Thing]

*Sits back and sips my drink, watching the free-for-all*

Do me a favor. Go back and read each post in this thread. What do you see?

What I see is this; Insecurities, personal issues, past hurts and resentments boiling up. I see assumptions based on the use of one...singe...word.

Nice.

I did this on purpose, as a sort of experiment. Isn't it funny how one word can be so powerful? You all jumped on the bandwagon and brought out your own perceptions, whether they be honestly crafted from past experience or filtered through the all-seeing eye of the media that programs us.

The bottom line is that no one is ever JUST anything. And NICE like any other word, can mean many different things, to different people. When I say nice, I mean gentlemanly. Honorable. Kind and understanding ad generous of spirit.

Now that does not mean this 'Nice' man does this to get chicks or to get attention or to make people like him. It just means he was raised in a certain way and taught to treat people a certain way. I am indeed a 'nice' man.

But I can also be a selfish bastard. I can also be so brilliant that most people will never understand what I am saying when I speak. I can also be a sexual intuitive who will push your buttons until you scream for me.

I am strong, sexy, assertive. I am intelligent and kind and artistic. I'm a lot of things, as everyone is. But when I use a word like 'nice' it changes the game.

Think about this for a minute.

 

[mark_j]

*Sits back and sips my drink, watching the free-for-all*

Do me a favor. Go back and read each post in this thread. What do you see?

What I see is this; Insecurities, personal issues, past hurts and resentments boiling up. I see assumptions based on the use of one...singe...word.

Nice.

I did this on purpose, as a sort of experiment. Isn't it funny how one word can be so powerful? You all jumped on the bandwagon and brought out your own perceptions, whether they be honestly crafted from past experience or filtered through the all-seeing eye of the media that programs us.

The bottom line is that no one is ever JUST anything. And NICE like any other word, can mean many different things, to different people. When I say nice, I mean gentlemanly. Honorable. Kind and understanding ad generous of spirit.

Now that does not mean this 'Nice' man does this to get chicks or to get attention or to make people like him. It just means he was raised in a certain way and taught to treat people a certain way. I am indeed a 'nice' man.

But I can also be a selfish bastard. I can also be so brilliant that most people will never understand what I am saying when I speak. I can also be a sexual intuitive who will push your buttons until you scream for me.

I am strong, sexy, assertive. I am intelligent and kind and artistic. I'm a lot of things, as everyone is. But when I use a word like 'nice' it changes the game.

Think about this for a minute.

It's called trolling.... when you set up a thread specifically like that and then just sit back to watch the train wreck... nice guy

 

[Needfull Thing]

It's called trolling.... when you set up a thread specifically like that and then just sit back to watch the train wreck... nice guy

No. Its called proving a point, or 'educating'.

We've all been turned into what we are because we treat each other a certain way. Women become bitches because of bad men who hurt them. Men become jerks because of the bitches that hurt them...never ending circle. We all start out genuinely nice.

 

[ima6uldv8]

Wow. Now you're not what I originally thought you were. Which is, ironically, a nice guy. Guess you had fun using people as puppets for your amusement

 

[RedHeadedGlory]

No ONE is ever really JUST anything. If You define someone by one single characteristic and then find them boring thats your foul, not theirs.

I was speaking of people who define THEMSELVES that way.

You'd be amazed how many do, and how many self defined "nice" guys think the fact that they're not mass murders should be more than enough compensation for having few interests, little curiosity about the world, and little to no discernable personality.

By no means is that everyone, but it's certainly enough to make "nice" a loaded word, because, as you said, it means a lot of different things to different people.

Isn't it funny how one word can be so powerful? You all jumped on the bandwagon and brought out your own perceptions

You asked a question in general terms, as those responding we're left to stating personal views based on our own experience.

 

[Needfull Thing]

Please, may I make a request. Leave the personal attacks out of the thread, Those who have sent me PMs thats fine, if anyone has something to say, even

"YOUR A DICK!" Send a damned PM. I will not be posting here anymore. I leave the discussion to fade. And thank you for your attention.

 

[Guest]

*Sits back and sips my drink, watching the free-for-all*

Do me a favor. Go back and read each post in this thread. What do you see?

What I see is this; Insecurities, personal issues, past hurts and resentments boiling up. I see assumptions based on the use of one...singe...word.

Nice.

I did this on purpose, as a sort of experiment. Isn't it funny how one word can be so powerful? You all jumped on the bandwagon and brought out your own perceptions, whether they be honestly crafted from past experience or filtered through the all-seeing eye of the media that programs us.

The bottom line is that no one is ever JUST anything. And NICE like any other word, can mean many different things, to different people. When I say nice, I mean gentlemanly. Honorable. Kind and understanding ad generous of spirit.

Now that does not mean this 'Nice' man does this to get chicks or to get attention or to make people like him. It just means he was raised in a certain way and taught to treat people a certain way. I am indeed a 'nice' man.

But I can also be a selfish bastard. I can also be so brilliant that most people will never understand what I am saying when I speak. I can also be a sexual intuitive who will push your buttons until you scream for me.

I am strong, sexy, assertive. I am intelligent and kind and artistic. I'm a lot of things, as everyone is. But when I use a word like 'nice' it changes the game.

Think about this for a minute.

You are... what we Brits colloqually call... a tosser, matey.

Someone who thinks they are 'educating'.... that their opinion is always right... strikes me as a bigot.

I do however bow down to your IMMENSE knowledge, as looking at your avatar you must have garnered SO MUCH knowledge in your 18... 19 years on the planet.

Come back when you need to start shaving.