What made you smile or laugh today? Part IV

Today (well, yesterday my time): one of my young relatives unexpectedly telling me "I love you" during a phone call. I went mushy.
 
Went to a baseball game. Caught a foul ball. Had to stand weirdly by the field because there were no seats (also no audience besides me, so it was a little uncomfortable at first) but it was fun.

I also went to a pub quiz. I came in second. I was alone, the team who won had 5 members and they only won by one point. So at least the moral victory was mine!

Been a good weekend.

(And before someone says how reckless it is to go to a pub quiz and such right now - in the past 7 day period there have been 0.6 cases / 100.000 people where I live.)
 
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My ex got pissed at me and called me slut because I wouldn't fuck him! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 the irony... So thick. 🤣🤣🤣
 
So, after seeing a post in the "Show Your Chest" thread, I decided to give a little good-natured ribbing. However, as it turned out, I remembered the wrong character name from the story about D&D, it wasn't the character whose name she now uses as a screen name in the events I remember being told about.

That was quite alright though as I was once again regaled with the story in question.

So, it seems there was once an elven thief who, for reasons of her own, dressed all in pink. I wouldn't think that would be... ah... the most tactical of choices. But, then again, StormShadow dressed all in white. So, what do I know? Maybe she was just that good.

Any road, the DM apparently for reasons of his own had it in for this little elf and always made her start from jail. And always had any NPC greet her with the accolade "slut thief" or "thief slut" rather than the more normal <insert race or class here> (Personally, I think he wanted the elf for himself and was piqued that he couldn't have her, but I wasn't there and am only getting this second hand and years later.)

The little elven thief asked repeatedly to be accorded as much respect as the other characters in the game. (As well as the player doing everything but threatening bodily mayhem to the one acting as DM.) Eventually, not able to take it anymore, the little elven thief even attempted to end her own character sheet, only to be foiled again and again by the dastardly DM who disallowed rolls on the use of equipment gathered as the spoils of their adventures on his whim... but only in that instance.

The little elf's character sheet was carried along by the player to a Con. And was pulled up into action in a game there.

Where the character won a Cloak of Displacement, a rare magickal item made from the hide of a displacer beast which makes the character constantly appear four inches (an approximate scale of four feet or more in the mundane world) to the side from where they actually are, making them impossible to hit other than with AOE.

I would just mention here that said Cloak of Displacement was not won in the course of the adventure... rather was not spoils looted from a kill... but, was "earned" by the character sleeping with an NPC (because the DM had the hots for the player running the sheet).

And having seen just how said player chooses to Cosplay, and what they are working with, I can easily understand a DM falling under her sway. 'Cause, boy, can she sway. And swish even.

Armed with a piece of equipment that made her nigh unkillable, the little elven slut thief... er, I mean, the little elven thief returned to her normal game with her player. And, with veracity colluded by the player's husband who had been there for awarding of the Cloak of Displacement, prepared to kick some DM ass.

Unless...

Unless, the DM in question would stop having every NPC refer to her as "slut."

His response; "Keep the cloak."

At this point, I couldn't... I just couldn't keep quiet any longer. And attempting to throttle my chuckles down to keep speech intelligible asked a rather burning question...

"So, the elf presented a high-level magic item obtained through sleeping with an NPC... and, yes, I understand the characters, not the players... and stated that said item, once again obtained via sexual relations with an NPC, would not be used in the weekly game IF the weekly DM would cease and desist having every NPC call her a 'slut thief?' Do you hear yourself?!"

And got back...

"She never actually stole anything. That was just her class. And she always dressed really classy. Not even so much as a bared midriff. And all in pink!"

"She slept with an NPC at a Con to get the piece of equipment that she then brought back to her weekly DM and threatened to use if NPC's in her weekly game didn't stop calling her a slut. A piece of equipment that she, the character, slept with an NPC to obtain."

"Well, yes. But, that was the only time she ever slept with anyone! Well, except for a demon, but that was later. And the only way the party survived. Not to mention my husband was DM by then. But, up until that point, she was virginal."

"So,... in other words, she wasn't a slut, but a prostitute?"

"A highly paid, high-class escort! Do you have any idea how rare Cloaks of Displacement were back then?! But, every NPC in our weekly game still called her a slut!"

"The very nerve..." At which point I dissolved into laughter until I thought I was going to hack up a lung.
 
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I miss yours. I’ve been in a funk. We have had a big storm and lost power. Better now, and trying to play catch up with work emails and housework.
So, I’m gonna go listen and smile, too. :cattail::heart:

Awwww. :heart: You know where to find me, bella. :kiss:
You should check that out. I did sing (sorta) a pussay song too. :rolleyes::D
 
Not dreading going to a hairdresser today.

I've had such awful experiences in past, but I've finally found someone I don't actively hate. Yay! :)
 
There's a pub quiz on Sunday that I want to go to, so how about I pop over on Monday?

You got your priorities wrong. The tingling feeling of showing off your brain doesn't last very long, while the tingling feeling of a fucking machine penetrating you over and over and over while I watch and comment the events, lasts for as long as I pay the bills for the power.
 
You got your priorities wrong. The tingling feeling of showing off your brain doesn't last very long, while the tingling feeling of a fucking machine penetrating you over and over and over while I watch and comment the events, lasts for as long as I pay the bills for the power.

So I wouldn't get to go to the pub quiz and I wouldn't get to do your laundry? Where's the fun in that? :(
 
So I wouldn't get to go to the pub quiz and I wouldn't get to do your laundry? Where's the fun in that? :(

Safety first. You can't just run around here and touch everything you like, until the Corona results arrived.
 
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