What pissed you off today?

[Cattypuss]

The feeling of utter self-loathing and vulnerability I have now I have told him and shown him about a couple of things I hate in myself and always keep hidden from everyone. I thought it would be liberating and would cement the deep openness and mutual trust and acceptance we have been developing. In fact, now I've done it, it just makes me feel like he will ponder these things now he's gone home for a few days and will decide he no longer likes or wants me.

In a nutshell, "Nobody could possibly know the true me and still like or want me".

How fucked up is that?

Don't know if I'm more upset by the feeling that I've lost him or by the knowledge that it's really fucked up to feel that way lol.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Did you know that Visa and MasterCard both state that a merchant using their services cannot require a minimum or maximum purchase for their card to be used? I live in a very low-income area and nearly all of the local gas stations have the little handmade sign that says "Credit card purchases must be at least $5" or something to that effect. Also, merchants cannot charge a service fee for cards, although they can provide a discount for people who choose not to use a card.

Consumerist's information on it and here's a handy card for you to whip out.

I could have saved so much money if I'd known this sooner.

Don't knowif it's the same over your side of the pond but I think over here the restricion on price is all to do with the fact that the shop keeper gets charged and he needs to sell enough goods to make it worth his while taking your card in payment

The feeling of utter self-loathing and vulnerability I have now I have told him and shown him about a couple of things I hate in myself and always keep hidden from everyone. I thought it would be liberating and would cement the deep openness and mutual trust and acceptance we have been developing. In fact, now I've done it, it just makes me feel like he will ponder these things now he's gone home for a few days and will decide he no longer likes or wants me.

In a nutshell, "Nobody could possibly know the true me and still like or want me".

How fucked up is that?

Don't know if I'm more upset by the feeling that I've lost him or by the knowledge that it's really fucked up to feel that way lol.

I know the feeling hun ...... today is my wedding anniversary and I was talking to my husband last night and I said to him do you know I still find it hard to believe anyone would want to really love me. Yeah well I have childhood issues unloved unwanted that sort of thing but (and it's a big BUT) someone will love you for just being you yes lovable you all tied up in the bundle of being who you are. Take heart

 

[Harmony_1985]

Workmate NOT turning up today when we needed her.

 

[Alana_]

People who think the day was designed for their pleasure and the rest of us are just added little nothings they have the right to use, or think they can use.

 

[OldGuy1026]

Flipping chest cold caused by flippin temp job in a -20C Freezer,

 

[CurlyKat]

The feeling of utter self-loathing and vulnerability I have now I have told him and shown him about a couple of things I hate in myself and always keep hidden from everyone. I thought it would be liberating and would cement the deep openness and mutual trust and acceptance we have been developing. In fact, now I've done it, it just makes me feel like he will ponder these things now he's gone home for a few days and will decide he no longer likes or wants me.

In a nutshell, "Nobody could possibly know the true me and still like or want me".

How fucked up is that?

Don't know if I'm more upset by the feeling that I've lost him or by the knowledge that it's really fucked up to feel that way lol.

That is an extraordinarily maddening sensation. While we all know that everyone else has little things they don't like about themselves, I think we always think that one thing we keep hidden about ourselves has to be bigger, badder, and uglier than what everyone else hides. To you, it may be. But if he honesty cares about you, and will be good for you in the long run, he'll take the information, digest it, and use it to help you both grow.

Two months ago that's probably not the response you would have gotten from me, but I've done a good bit of revealing, baring my soul, and growing with someone lately. There are things about me I never thought would be loved or accepted, and knowing that they are has taught me what kind of relationship is good for me, and what kind of attentions I deserve. The same is true for you. The waiting period will suck. But once he's processed it, and come back, you'll feel better for him having known, even though you doubt yourself now.

*Hugs* Hope you're feeling better about this already.

 

[OldGuy1026]

thanks for the hug cat

 

[Yasashii_Kaze]

Don't knowif it's the same over your side of the pond but I think over here the restricion on price is all to do with the fact that the shop keeper gets charged and he needs to sell enough goods to make it worth his while taking your card in payment.

Oh, I understand the reasoning. The point is, in the agreement the merchant signs with Visa or MasterCard, it's stated that they're not allowed to do that.

 

[Cattypuss]

Thanks to UnderYourSpell and CurlyKat.

Couple more days and I should basically know which way he's gonna swing. I shall report back

 

[Cattypuss]

Hah! Speak of the Devil.... just had a warm, supportive phone call from him.

 

[CurlyKat]

Hah! Speak of the Devil.... just had a warm, supportive phone call from him.

Yay!!!!

As for me, today it's making me angry that I feel like such a failure career-wise, and even scholastically, even though I know I'm not. It just sucks being so unsure of the next step.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

1. My ex breaking a date I had already bought tickets for with not enough notice for me to rustle up someone else to go.

2. Me, for being surprised and disappointed by this recurring theme.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Oh, I understand the reasoning. The point is, in the agreement the merchant signs with Visa or MasterCard, it's stated that they're not allowed to do that.

Oh I see sorry yes that is very naughty

Hah! Speak of the Devil.... just had a warm, supportive phone call from him.

There you go then told you so!

 

[Homburg]

Why do people go out in public smelling like they haven't seen water for a week? Fucking bathe! I'm a lifelong allergy sufferer, so my sense of smell is crappy, thus when _I_ smell someone's funk, it has to be nose-hair searing awful toxic stench for people not as scent-dull as I am.

DAMN.

 

[Qpet05]

The feeling of utter self-loathing and vulnerability I have now I have told him and shown him about a couple of things I hate in myself and always keep hidden from everyone. I thought it would be liberating and would cement the deep openness and mutual trust and acceptance we have been developing. In fact, now I've done it, it just makes me feel like he will ponder these things now he's gone home for a few days and will decide he no longer likes or wants me.

In a nutshell, "Nobody could possibly know the true me and still like or want me".

How fucked up is that?

Don't know if I'm more upset by the feeling that I've lost him or by the knowledge that it's really fucked up to feel that way lol.

i VERY rarely post here on lit (see my low post count ~smile~) but.. Cattypuss.. i do know exactly how you feel.. it's allowing yourself to be vulnerable..

Master has given me tenants to live by.. Trust, Respect, Honesty and Obeidence.. the hardest one for me to accept and develop was Trust..

you have taken a very big leap.. to trust Him with your innermost thoughts.. now continue that Trust and KNOW that He will be on the other side of the chasm to catch you.

Master Q's pet

 

[Cattypuss]

Thank you Qpet

Yes, it's a bit of a leap of faith but definitely worth taking.

 

[BiaTcHiNFiRe]

wannabe friends and the fucking distance

 

[ultramarineblue]

trying to change some things and seeming to change only to be right back at the beginning. I'm tired.

 

[phoenixangel]

all the laundry i had to do

 

[Keroin]

City workers today, washing their paint buckets out...in the lagoon!!!

Pardon me for a minute...


FUCK!!!

OK, all better, (not really).

 

[Aquila1]

It's finally spring here which means.........fresh asparagus. So much fun to eat *licks lips*

 

[Aquila1]

ah. wrong thread. I'm tired and confuzzled.

 

[Keroin]

ah. wrong thread. I'm tired and confuzzled.

You know you can edit your posts? Just click on the little "edit" button.

And yes, spring is wonderful! The frangipani are going off. They're so beautiful and smell divine.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

You know you can edit your posts? Just click on the little "edit" button.

And yes, spring is wonderful! The frangipani are going off. They're so beautiful and smell divine.

And asparagus is pretty tasty too...

Even if it makes wee smell funny!

Now... things that pissed me off today? Something petty.

Someone ordered coffee on their way to work. They got given the wrong thing, something they wouldn't drink, so they gave it to me.

I tried to give them money for it. And they wouldn't take it! Because apparently they "owed" me for the other day! Grrrrr!

And this person does me a lot of favours. But can't let the coffee scorecard be imbalanced? Ergh.

 

[Cattypuss]

The person who was going to be employed as my full-time assistant after her maternity leave has decided she prefers full-time motherhood.

Which leaves me still doing the work of two people for the foreseeable future (this job requires an odd knowledge-and-skill set - hard to find people to do it).