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What the hell…Chilly’s little spot on lit

Chillygirl said:
I follow this self awareness group and every day there’s a thought/question that they pick apart. The question that has me all fucked up today….how do they go from “I love you” to walking away like it’s nothing and how do you heal from it.
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It's hard to get past that "what did I do wrong" phase, especially when those thoughts are ingrained from previous relationships. So, healing would include recognizing It's not our fault and that we will probably never know why or understand it...but, it's a "them" thing.
Healing is easier at that point. Getting to that FYFM stage. 😁
 
barefootgirl69 said:
It's hard to get past that "what did I do wrong" phase, especially when those thoughts are ingrained from previous relationships. So, healing would include recognizing It's not our fault and that we will probably never know why or understand it...but, it's a "them" thing.
Healing is easier at that point. Getting to that FYFM stage. 😁
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Oh I know it’s a them problem. I can recognize things I need to fix in myself, I can recognize when I owe an apology. I’ve been told I expect too much from others. Maybe I do. I expect honesty and common courtesy. I think that’s part of the reason I struggle with the whys.

Like I said most days I’m fine but some days it just sucks. It sucks to have someone who used to love you act like you never happened.
 
Chillygirl said:
Oh I know it’s a them problem. I can recognize things I need to fix in myself, I can recognize when I owe an apology. I’ve been told I expect too much from others. Maybe I do. I expect honesty and common courtesy. I think that’s part of the reason I struggle with the whys.

Like I said most days I’m fine but some days it just sucks. It sucks to have someone who used to love you act like you never happened.
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It's tough having higher standards for yourself - how you act, how you treat others, how deeply you love, how you uphold commitments - than others do for themselves. If I commit you you, whether as a friend, a romantic partner, or even an employee, it means I don't bail on you. Period.

And that has gotten me crapped on so, so many times. But it doesn't change who I am, which means I find myself back in that place again. Sometimes I wish I could just be a hard-nosed asshole to people.
 
LustyScribe said:
It's tough having higher standards for yourself - how you act, how you treat others, how deeply you love, how you uphold commitments - than others do for themselves. If I commit you you, whether as a friend, a romantic partner, or even an employee, it means I don't bail on you. Period.

And that has gotten me crapped on so, so many times. But it doesn't change who I am, which means I find myself back in that place again. Sometimes I wish I could just be a hard-nosed asshole to people.
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I was literally screaming one night “when is it my turn not to get shit on?!” My poor parents have never really seen me lose it. I usually keep a good face on and only cry in the shower or bed at night. But I just couldn’t that day. I said I wish I was hard hearted, I wish I could be cold and not care. My dad finally says “please don’t change. You’ve always had a big heart and a soft spirit. The world needs more of that.”

You wouldn’t be who you are and you wouldn’t be happy if you were a hard nosed asshole.
 
Chillygirl said:
I was literally screaming one night “when is it my turn not to get shit on?!” My poor parents have never really seen me lose it. I usually keep a good face on and only cry in the shower or bed at night. But I just couldn’t that day. I said I wish I was hard hearted, I wish I could be cold and not care. My dad finally says “please don’t change. You’ve always had a big heart and a soft spirit. The world needs more of that.”

You wouldn’t be who you are and you wouldn’t be happy if you were a hard nosed asshole.
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Yeah, you're right. I really have no desire to poop on anybody's parade. I just want a break from being taken advantage of. And now I feel bad because I ended a sentence with a preposition, which is probably irritating SOMEBODY out there, and even THAT makes me feel guilty! LOL
 
LustyScribe said:
Yeah, you're right. I really have no desire to poop on anybody's parade. I just want a break from being taken advantage of. And now I feel bad because I ended a sentence with a preposition, which is probably irritating SOMEBODY out there, and even THAT makes me feel guilty! LOL
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I wanted to add a ❤️ too
 
Chillygirl said:
I follow this self awareness group and every day there’s a thought/question that they pick apart. The question that has me all fucked up today….how do they go from “I love you” to walking away like it’s nothing and how do you heal from it.
Click to expand...
The sad part is that honesty is a big part of the question. These things never happens over a night. And he not being honest until the last minute is a big slap in the face for you.
Chillygirl said:
Oh I know it’s a them problem. I can recognize things I need to fix in myself, I can recognize when I owe an apology. I’ve been told I expect too much from others. Maybe I do. I expect honesty and common courtesy. I think that’s part of the reason I struggle with the whys.

Like I said most days I’m fine but some days it just sucks. It sucks to have someone who used to love you act like you never happened.
Click to expand...
Se my text above. And I like to add that you probably didn't do anything wrong. It's all him!
Chillygirl said:
I was literally screaming one night “when is it my turn not to get shit on?!” My poor parents have never really seen me lose it. I usually keep a good face on and only cry in the shower or bed at night. But I just couldn’t that day. I said I wish I was hard hearted, I wish I could be cold and not care. My dad finally says “please don’t change. You’ve always had a big heart and a soft spirit. The world needs more of that.”

You wouldn’t be who you are and you wouldn’t be happy if you were a hard nosed asshole.
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I like to send big hugs!:heart:
 
Chillygirl said:
After doing a quick internet search of all the dealerships in town and used car offerings I’m torn. I *really* like the car I bought. It has every little thing I wanted. And I’m seeing a few that are ok but missing one or two things I really want…and admittedly they are pure comfort and not a necessity….truly a want. I don’t know what to do.
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If you decide to wait for them to fix it because you love the car, I would ask what they’re going to do to compensate you.
 
Chillygirl said:
They’ve had me in a nice rental at no charge since this all happened and said they’d continue that til I have a car one way or another.
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It sounds like they’re trying at least and it’s just a crappy situation all around. I’d probably try to wait it out then even if it’s frustrating.
 
LadyLascivious1 said:
It sounds like they’re trying at least and it’s just a crappy situation all around. I’d probably try to wait it out then even if it’s frustrating.
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Rumor has it the transmission guy at the GMC dealership quit…so no idea what’s going to happen now. I figured I’d go look at their used cars today and see if there’s anything I like…

But yeah the GM at the dealership I bought from is great and I appreciate everything she’s doing. The service advisor I was working with was awful but hopefully now he’ll be better or they’ll switch me to someone else.
 
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