Chillygirl
It’s not a phase 🖤
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2012
- Posts
- 26,343
Agreed. It’s easy in theory…but some days it’s crushing.That’s heavy. The first part seems like their problem/issue. Accepting that might be the first step to your healing.
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Agreed. It’s easy in theory…but some days it’s crushing.That’s heavy. The first part seems like their problem/issue. Accepting that might be the first step to your healing.
Hello! I’m good. You?Hello to @Chillygirl hope you're doing well.![]()
Well to be honest been sick the last 10 or 14 days, finally coming out of it but I don't complain.Hello! I’m good. You?
Oh that’s horrible! I’m glad you are feeling better!Well to be honest been sick the last 10 or 14 days, finally coming out of it but I don't complain.
Best I've felt in two weeks lol.Hope you don't get it.![]()
It's hard to get past that "what did I do wrong" phase, especially when those thoughts are ingrained from previous relationships. So, healing would include recognizing It's not our fault and that we will probably never know why or understand it...but, it's a "them" thing.I follow this self awareness group and every day there’s a thought/question that they pick apart. The question that has me all fucked up today….how do they go from “I love you” to walking away like it’s nothing and how do you heal from it.
I get grouchy and grumpy when I don't feel good either,so I sorta stay clear of folks lol.Oh that’s horrible! I’m glad you are feeling better!
Oh I know it’s a them problem. I can recognize things I need to fix in myself, I can recognize when I owe an apology. I’ve been told I expect too much from others. Maybe I do. I expect honesty and common courtesy. I think that’s part of the reason I struggle with the whys.It's hard to get past that "what did I do wrong" phase, especially when those thoughts are ingrained from previous relationships. So, healing would include recognizing It's not our fault and that we will probably never know why or understand it...but, it's a "them" thing.
Healing is easier at that point. Getting to that FYFM stage.![]()
It's tough having higher standards for yourself - how you act, how you treat others, how deeply you love, how you uphold commitments - than others do for themselves. If I commit you you, whether as a friend, a romantic partner, or even an employee, it means I don't bail on you. Period.Oh I know it’s a them problem. I can recognize things I need to fix in myself, I can recognize when I owe an apology. I’ve been told I expect too much from others. Maybe I do. I expect honesty and common courtesy. I think that’s part of the reason I struggle with the whys.
Like I said most days I’m fine but some days it just sucks. It sucks to have someone who used to love you act like you never happened.
I was literally screaming one night “when is it my turn not to get shit on?!” My poor parents have never really seen me lose it. I usually keep a good face on and only cry in the shower or bed at night. But I just couldn’t that day. I said I wish I was hard hearted, I wish I could be cold and not care. My dad finally says “please don’t change. You’ve always had a big heart and a soft spirit. The world needs more of that.”It's tough having higher standards for yourself - how you act, how you treat others, how deeply you love, how you uphold commitments - than others do for themselves. If I commit you you, whether as a friend, a romantic partner, or even an employee, it means I don't bail on you. Period.
And that has gotten me crapped on so, so many times. But it doesn't change who I am, which means I find myself back in that place again. Sometimes I wish I could just be a hard-nosed asshole to people.
Yeah, you're right. I really have no desire to poop on anybody's parade. I just want a break from being taken advantage of. And now I feel bad because I ended a sentence with a preposition, which is probably irritating SOMEBODY out there, and even THAT makes me feel guilty! LOLI was literally screaming one night “when is it my turn not to get shit on?!” My poor parents have never really seen me lose it. I usually keep a good face on and only cry in the shower or bed at night. But I just couldn’t that day. I said I wish I was hard hearted, I wish I could be cold and not care. My dad finally says “please don’t change. You’ve always had a big heart and a soft spirit. The world needs more of that.”
You wouldn’t be who you are and you wouldn’t be happy if you were a hard nosed asshole.
I wanted to add aYeah, you're right. I really have no desire to poop on anybody's parade. I just want a break from being taken advantage of. And now I feel bad because I ended a sentence with a preposition, which is probably irritating SOMEBODY out there, and even THAT makes me feel guilty! LOL
The sad part is that honesty is a big part of the question. These things never happens over a night. And he not being honest until the last minute is a big slap in the face for you.I follow this self awareness group and every day there’s a thought/question that they pick apart. The question that has me all fucked up today….how do they go from “I love you” to walking away like it’s nothing and how do you heal from it.
Se my text above. And I like to add that you probably didn't do anything wrong. It's all him!Oh I know it’s a them problem. I can recognize things I need to fix in myself, I can recognize when I owe an apology. I’ve been told I expect too much from others. Maybe I do. I expect honesty and common courtesy. I think that’s part of the reason I struggle with the whys.
Like I said most days I’m fine but some days it just sucks. It sucks to have someone who used to love you act like you never happened.
I like to send big hugs!I was literally screaming one night “when is it my turn not to get shit on?!” My poor parents have never really seen me lose it. I usually keep a good face on and only cry in the shower or bed at night. But I just couldn’t that day. I said I wish I was hard hearted, I wish I could be cold and not care. My dad finally says “please don’t change. You’ve always had a big heart and a soft spirit. The world needs more of that.”
You wouldn’t be who you are and you wouldn’t be happy if you were a hard nosed asshole.

Oh I just found that meme funny!You're more special than you give yourself credit for.![]()
Hell. Yes.Stopping by to hand out margaritas![]()
If you decide to wait for them to fix it because you love the car, I would ask what they’re going to do to compensate you.After doing a quick internet search of all the dealerships in town and used car offerings I’m torn. I *really* like the car I bought. It has every little thing I wanted. And I’m seeing a few that are ok but missing one or two things I really want…and admittedly they are pure comfort and not a necessity….truly a want. I don’t know what to do.
They’ve had me in a nice rental at no charge since this all happened and said they’d continue that til I have a car one way or another.If you decide to wait for them to fix it because you love the car, I would ask what they’re going to do to compensate you.
It sounds like they’re trying at least and it’s just a crappy situation all around. I’d probably try to wait it out then even if it’s frustrating.They’ve had me in a nice rental at no charge since this all happened and said they’d continue that til I have a car one way or another.
Rumor has it the transmission guy at the GMC dealership quit…so no idea what’s going to happen now. I figured I’d go look at their used cars today and see if there’s anything I like…It sounds like they’re trying at least and it’s just a crappy situation all around. I’d probably try to wait it out then even if it’s frustrating.
Rumor has it the transmission guy at the GMC dealership quit…so no idea what’s going to happen now.