What were you like in high school?

[SimonDoom]

Contemporaries of mine (late 80s) were expelled from school for being gay - or rather, for mentioning it.
Less likely in a state school, but there the chances of getting your head kicked in was much higher.
I don't know of anyone who came out at school, publicly, until the 90s.

I graduated from an American high school in the early 80s. Nobody was out. I had plenty of friends who came out in college, however, in the mid-80s. I had a roommate who came out freshman year. It was odd for about 15 minutes, and then it was like, "whatever." In the 80s I learned that some of my former high school associates were gay but just hadn't come out before when I knew them in high school. I briefly taught at a reasonably progressive high school in the mid-80s and I cannot remember any high school students being openly gay at that time. Coming out was acceptable at the college level before it was acceptable at the high school level.

By the time my kids were in high school there were LGBTQ clubs. Sea change.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Contemporaries of mine (late 80s) were expelled from school for being gay - or rather, for mentioning it.
Less likely in a state school, but there the chances of getting your head kicked in was much higher.
I don't know of anyone who came out at school, publicly, until the 90s.

Thanks, I lost track of what was happening at schools after I graduated. At college later (the City University of New York), things started to loosen up in the late '70's. (I was in the class of '77.)

 

[nice90sguy]

<tmi></tmi>

 

[Comshaw]

Back in the late 80's early 90's I had a friend who was gay. Being gay in a small town is a pretty big deal so he tried to keep it on the QT except for close friends. Around 91-92 he decided to move to the big city to be part of the gay community there. When he left we had a party for him and baked him a cake with a little ferry boat on top. He laughed his ass off and took that ferry boat with him. I saw him a couple of times after that and he was happy.

Comshaw

 

[XerXesXu]

Contemporaries of mine (late 80s) were expelled from school for being gay - or rather, for mentioning it.
Less likely in a state school, but there the chances of getting your head kicked in was much higher.
I don't know of anyone who came out at school, publicly, until the 90s.

While I was at school homosexuality was still 'illegal'. It was only ever discussed in derogatory terms. 'Homosexual' would have been a synonym for 'paedophile'. No one ever suggested they might themselves be gay. The understanding and tolerance of other sexualities has been completely transformed since then.

 

[MillieDynamite]

While I was at school homosexuality was still 'illegal'. It was only ever discussed in derogatory terms. 'Homosexual' would have been a synonym for 'paedophile'. No one ever suggested they might themselves be gay. The understanding and tolerance of other sexualities has been completely transformed since then.

Historically, in the 19th century, lesbianism was more accepted, if only just. In America, the term for two women living together was a Boston Marriage. Women in love were Romantic friends. Women who were Manish, and presumed to be lesbians, were called Boy-Gals, Bull-Bitches, or TomBoys. All of these terms were about adult women who were no longer girls and didn't care for men romantically.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Historically, in the 19th century, lesbianism was more accepted, if only just. In America, the term for two women living together was a Boston Marriage. Women in love were Romantic friends. Women who were Manish, and presumed to be lesbians, were called Boy-Gals, Bull-Bitches, or TomBoys. All of these terms were about adult women who were no longer girls and didn't care for men romantically.

That's interesting stuff to know. My bisexual heroine in Geek Pride, Amanda Watson, speculates about women in the 19th Century, but she doesn't mention any of this. Since I'm going to write more about her (I already have a prequel out about her), maybe I should have have her discover some additional info about this.

 

[EmilyMiller]

What were you like in high school?​

I was a very serious kid. I had been serious about religion, but, before high school, I’d decided that man had made God, rather than the other way round. This felt like both common sense and consistent with my emerging understanding of science and the scientific method (I said I was serious, right?)

I was also serious about my work. I was a good student.

In parallel, I went from being very serious about chastity and purity (yes really) to thinking the Church’s teachings about sex were bunk and anti-women. I became rather serious about boys. Sadly none of the ones I liked reciprocated.

In retrospect, I was interested in your typical popular guy. The ones that can often be assholes. It was unsurprising that they weren’t really interested in this scrawny, boyish, nerdy (I’ll say it before @AwkwardlySet ) little thing,

I also began to have feelings about other girls towards the end of high school. But never did anything to act on them.

So I left high school a rather frustrated virgin.

College was a different story.

Em

 

[emme8]

I was a very depressed in high school. It's took a long time to work through my struggles.
But now I am better and I recognize I am a better person due to the on going battle with bipolar depression.

 

[XerXesXu]

Historically, in the 19th century, lesbianism was more accepted, if only just. In America, the term for two women living together was a Boston Marriage. Women in love were Romantic friends. Women who were Manish, and presumed to be lesbians, were called Boy-Gals, Bull-Bitches, or TomBoys. All of these terms were about adult women who were no longer girls and didn't care for men romantically.

There was never any need to ban female homosexuality in the UK because it didn't exist.

 

[gunhilltrain]

There a never any need to ban female homosexuality in the UK because it didn't exist.

I thought that was Iran, not the UK. Actually, that applies to male homosexuals there too. They don't ban it; they just don't have it.

 

[Jmanchu]

I was a rebel without a cause and an easily bored teenager with a very short attention span in a school in the city where a lot of kids were thuggish or ghetto. Got drunk and high, partied, made all the wrong friends, got in a few big fights, I didn't care for authority, and I rarely thought my decisions through. I was a bonehead teenager that made a lot of stupid decisions.

 

[DeLaFaye]

Sunshine and fucking rainbows as I graduated 3rd in my class, worked 20+ hours a week at a shitty diner (under the table), and took care of my dying mom. I never really had any close friends but I was friendly enough with everyone. All the teachers loved and trusted me. Which mostly meant none of them thought twice about the shady shit I'd get up to.

 

[XerXesXu]

I thought that was Iran, not the UK. Actually, that applies to male homosexuals there too. They don't ban it; they just don't have it.

Law always exists in a cultural context. If you don't understand the culture you won't understand the law.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Law always exists in a cultural context. If you don't understand the culture you won't understand the law.

I don't pretend to know what should be done in Iran. I'd say, anybody who doesn't like it, should leave. Possibly that is not so easily done. Anybody know how easy or difficult it is to leave that country, because I don't?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I don't pretend to know what should be done in Iran. I'd say, anybody who doesn't like it, should leave. Possibly that is not so easily done. Anybody know how easy or difficult it is to leave that country, because I don't?

Ever tried getting a visa to work in a different country?
Expensive, even if you meet the criteria of having relevant degree, qualifications, experience and usually needing a job sponsor. If you're the sort of person who has a spare 40k dollars (times number of family members), it's possible. Many wealthy Iranians go to study in other countries, then try to stay (some try to claim asylum, but that's incredibly hard). And applications from certain countries for residence visas will be scrutinised much harder than others.

Iran has a surprisingly large number of MtF transexuals. Sounds oddly progressive, until you realise it's because m/m sex faces the death penalty, but if one partner claims to be female, that's OK...

 

[gunhilltrain]

Ever tried getting a visa to work in a different country?
Expensive, even if you meet the criteria of having relevant degree, qualifications, experience and usually needing a job sponsor. If you're the sort of person who has a spare 40k dollars (times number of family members), it's possible. Many wealthy Iranians go to study in other countries, then try to stay (some try to claim asylum, but that's incredibly hard). And applications from certain countries for residence visas will be scrutinised much harder than others.

Iran has a surprisingly large number of MtF transexuals. Sounds oddly progressive, until you realise it's because m/m sex faces the death penalty, but if one partner claims to be female, that's OK...

I was trying to respond to this, and I realized I was getting into political questions that were far beyond this thread. To make it short: Maybe a nation does have the right (or they'll do it anyway) to decide who can come in to work (and live) and who can't. To them, it's not what what the individual applicant wants; it's what benefits them (the nation-state) the most. A hypothesis, anyway.

Oh, yeah, "What were you like in high school?" Maybe we should get back to that.

 

[djrip]

Ever tried getting a visa to work in a different country?
Expensive, even if you meet the criteria of having relevant degree, qualifications, experience and usually needing a job sponsor. If you're the sort of person who has a spare 40k dollars (times number of family members), it's possible. Many wealthy Iranians go to study in other countries, then try to stay (some try to claim asylum, but that's incredibly hard). And applications from certain countries for residence visas will be scrutinised much harder than others.

Iran has a surprisingly large number of MtF transexuals. Sounds oddly progressive, until you realise it's because m/m sex faces the death penalty, but if one partner claims to be female, that's OK...

I mean that's still pretty progressive for Iran, I'd have expected that to get the death penalty too.

 

[MillieDynamite]

I don't pretend to know what should be done in Iran. I'd say, anybody who doesn't like it, should leave. Possibly that is not so easily done. Anybody know how easy or difficult it is to leave that country, because I don't?

It ain't easy.

 

[stickygirl]

Ever tried getting a visa to work in a different country?
Expensive, even if you meet the criteria of having relevant degree, qualifications, experience and usually needing a job sponsor. If you're the sort of person who has a spare 40k dollars (times number of family members), it's possible. Many wealthy Iranians go to study in other countries, then try to stay (some try to claim asylum, but that's incredibly hard). And applications from certain countries for residence visas will be scrutinised much harder than others.

Iran has a surprisingly large number of MtF transexuals. Sounds oddly progressive, until you realise it's because m/m sex faces the death penalty, but if one partner claims to be female, that's OK...

Err no.
The United Nations Human Rights Council has reported that "lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children are subjected to electric shocks and the administration of hormones and strong psychoactive medications"
They regard trans folk as mentally ill and the only route to ‘legal status’ is via surgery which has a poor standard. Legal status is kinda meaningless in Iran when they have few rights and face constant harassment by the state.
This info is just a Google away

 

[MillieDynamite]

Let me just say, I'll not be converting to Muslim or moving to a Muslim nation at any point in my future.

Err no.
The United Nations Human Rights Council has reported that "lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children are subjected to electric shocks and the administration of hormones and strong psychoactive medications"
They regard trans folk as mentally I’ll and the only route to ‘legal status’ is via surgery which has a poor standard. Legal status is kinda meaningless in Iran when they have few rights and face constant harassment by the state.
This info is just a Google away

 

[gunhilltrain]

It ain't easy.

I know, I responded to someone above about that issue. I left it as an open question. If one has a difficult time in one's own country, it is the responsibility of another nation to let you in? I didn't want to get too deeply into it because it's such a contentious political issue.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Cubans used to have a pass so long as they made it to shore. Political refugee status was insured, as long as they were on shore. Not sure that's still in place.

I know, I responded to someone above about that issue. I left it as an open question. If one has a difficult time in one's own country, it is the responsibility of another nation to let you in? I didn't want to get too deeply into it because it's such a contentious political issue.

 

[emme8]

In high school I was a nerdy Catholic goody goody with a massive guilt complex.
What about you?

 

[gunhilltrain]

Cubans used to have a pass so long as they made it to shore. Political refugee status was insured, as long as they were on shore. Not sure that's still in place.

That was because we had a dispute with the Cuban government that still continues. "Dispute" is perhaps the wrong word; let's just say incompatible political and economic goals. So it was in "our" interest to let anybody who wanted out of the place come here. It wasn't done to "help" oppressed Cubans. They just happened to be oppressed by a government we didn't like.