Whats poppin everybody?

[Evil_Geoff]

.....

But I think most of all, I'm tired of being so fucking tired all the time.

I can offer support (moral, immoral, or both), advice (good, bad, and indifferent), or innane platitudes and cliches if you like. I understand the self-doubt, the self-loathing, hell, I've been depressed before to the point of being suicidal.

I just want you to know that you are not alone in your feelings even though it sure as hell feels like it. And that there are folks out in the world who care and wish you well.

Now get some more sleep, make an appointment to SEE SOMEONE. If nothing else your college/university _should_ have a health care center where counselling is available to student - gratis. Tell 'em you are stressed out and take it from there.

*grins* Just remember your "mom" and I are in your corner! And no, we are NOT going to increase your allowance!

 

[DVS]

...Now get some more sleep, make an appointment to SEE SOMEONE. If nothing else your college/university _should_ have a health care center where counselling is available to student - gratis. Tell 'em you are stressed out and take it from there...

Hey, what can it hurt? And, if nothing else, maybe your counselor will be female. maybe she's a sex thraropist on the side. Not that you need sex theopry, but who doens't need as much sex as they can get?

Maybe she's also kinky and you can show her some of the stuff you've learned from this kinky life. OR...maybe she can show you a thing or two...or three.

Oh, if the counselor is a guy, disreguard all of the above. Life does throw you a few lemons now and then.

 

[brioche]

Okay.
From what you've said in previous posts, Marquis, you're on meds. Are you taking them regularly? If not, this is why you need to. If you are, you need to talk to whoever prescribed them. It's a pretty good bet the dosage needs to be adjusted for whatever reason, or perhaps a switch to another med.
If you aren't on meds, you should be,but then I've said that before.

Therapy is a wonderful thing, but here's the flip side - it is a hella lotta work. You have to WANT to change or there's no point in going into it at all. Ripping into your emotional baggage and exposing it to another person can be painful at times. Personalities are also crucial - I had one worker with my doctor's office who I got along with like a house on fire - then she retired. She told me before she left that I was a great person, one of her favorite patients, and she looked forward to our appointments.
She was a firm adherent to the theory that therapy is for when you get stuck on the road. You get yourself unstuck, and go off therapy until you need it again.
The first time I saw her for over a year. The second time I only went six months. the third time it was a couple of weeks. I did need more therapy after my almost-nervous breakdown, of course, but then I also needed a leave from my job and to drop two of my courses.

The person who replaced her - well, after two sessions I KNEW we were not a fit. I am an adult, and I live in a house with my parents. My mother is a loud person. I sometimes hear them having sex - my mum is not quiet, and to judge by the noises, multi-orgasmic.
I have come to terms with this - it's not something I like to hear but we are all adults and my parents have a very loving relationship. She (the therapist) could not get past this. I mentioned it in passing and she was horrified. She kept bringing the conversation back to it. She was letting her OWN issues colour MY therapy, and I went to my doctor, told her that we were not a good fit, and asked for a referral to the anxiety disorder clinic.
Bam.
I could have stayed with her but there would have been no point, because the relationship was not one in which I was comfortable divulging information.
She had reaacted with horror, and that blew any chance of a therapist-client relationship out of the water.
My point here is that if you're going to go into therapy you have to be willing to stick with it and want it to work or it won't help you, and sometimes you need to try more than one person as well.
Finally, in my third year of university I became a basket case. I almost had a nervous breakdown. My mum nearly dropped my off at the psych ward at the hospital here - actually, it's a psychiatric hospital. Once I recovered I needed some of my courses dropped. It wasn't an option, I was not capable of carrying a full course load. Because I had a medical note, those courses did not count towards my average even though I had taken them far beyond the last date for dropping them. Just something to keep in mind.

Finally, Marquis, those of us with psychiatric disorders learn that because of the disorder, high-stress situations, such as several concurrent deadlines, exhaust us much more easily than the average folk. Our reserves are lower, or we use them up faster. This is something I had to learn. I spend March Break mostly in bed - recharging. And I'm not much use in July either. I found a job that accomodates my need for time off. Perhaps you can too.

As for the spirituality question, DVS - I'm a Christian. I do believe in Karma as well. But I KNOW I'm doing what I'm meant to do - helping kids. Someone helped me, and I searched for and then thanked her when I found her. She cried. I wanted to make that difference to at least one other person. I've already done that, but why stop there? In fact, for the silent auction my church has, I offered 10 one hour tutoring sessions as my contribution. That's a value of $400, though they'd never get that much. I have bought snacks for kids who didn't have them, and found my own ways of ministering. It helps me.
Hope this is of some help.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hmmm, if you're wanting updates on the events of Lit BDSM posters, I better be a good co-mod and report in. LOL, happy to say I have had a beautiful weekend despite being sick as a dog....got my first taste of being play pierced (which has convinced him he wants to do the real thing to me himself), and being branded. Now that was something to remember.....what stands out most was the growing heat on my flesh as he got closer and closer to placing it on my skin, and then the snap, crackling and sizzling of burning flesh filling the room......and hey, I didn't move an inch despite him not tying me down in anyway!!

Catalina

 

[Marquis]

Thanks for the love everyone. I have returned to random twisted sex with strangers as a temporary coping mechanism while I explore my therapy options more fully.

 

[Red Sonja]

Thanks for the love everyone. I have returned to random twisted sex with strangers as a temporary coping mechanism while I explore my therapy options more fully.

Excellent! Cuz you should pick a therapist very very carefully.

 

[Xelebes]

Jodie Foster as a Domme? I guess maybe, if you are a sub. But, I'm a Dom. I'd tie her up naked and fuck her ass for her then make her beg me to do it again.

Now, I'm assuming...if you're a sub, you'd rather she do that to you?

Yeah.

But come on, her in Silence of the Lambs where she takes on Hopkin's character...

 

[Chicklet]

Angelina Jolie?

WTF is wrong with you kids?

I always hated Madonna too. They took away my dyke card over that one.

I'm on your side on this one

 

[Chicklet]

Thanks for the love everyone. I have returned to random twisted sex with strangers as a temporary coping mechanism while I explore my therapy options more fully.

*cough* I'm a stranger... *pats the seat next to her*

I know how you feel about stuff, though. Don't you hate when you're feeling upset or down or tired and people are like "I know exactly how you feel" and then they start telling you about their own depression, as if they're one-upping yours? Or even worse, when you turn back around and do the same back to them, trying to top their sob stories? I hate that. It's what I do though. But I hate it while I do it.

It's a hard time of year for people with depression. You probably know that. Most people know that somewhat random little factoid. But yeah...

One thing I've been trying to convince myself of lately is that "it'll all be okay eventually." I even tried to tell that to the boy I like. He laughed at me.

 

[naughtygirl69s]

Any body ever really thought about the spiritual side of ilfe? I mean...why are we all where we are? Why are we all who we are? Is there any importance to who our friends are? Is it something more involved than just happenstance?

Do you believe in KARMA? Do you think there is something out there that only you were ment to do and if you don't do it, the world will be much worse off? But, if you do accomplish this goal, the world will be a much better place to be in?

And this special thing you were meant to accomplsh...nobody can know it was you who did it, or it won't be the totally kind, thoughtful gesture to your fellow man it should be. Actually Clark, it wouldn't work at all, if you were to tell anybody it was you all along in that Superman suit.

In a word...No

 

[shy slave]

Any body ever really thought about the spiritual side of ilfe? I mean...why are we all where we are? Why are we all who we are? Is there any importance to who our friends are? Is it something more involved than just happenstance?

Do you believe in KARMA? Do you think there is something out there that only you were ment to do and if you don't do it, the world will be much worse off? But, if you do accomplish this goal, the world will be a much better place to be in?

And this special thing you were meant to accomplsh...nobody can know it was you who did it, or it won't be the totally kind, thoughtful gesture to your fellow man it should be. Actually Clark, it wouldn't work at all, if you were to tell anybody it was you all along in that Superman suit.

I am a Spiritualist, I believe in Karma, fate and that there something else that cannot be easily explained.

Karma relates to the reason for being. It can mean a choice to re-incarnate to experience a different aspect of life. It can mean what goes around comes around. I personally believe it is our inner soul choice as to why we are here. The difficulty is figuring out that choice.

I don't want to make this too personal but this year has been a difficult one, due to unexpected events.

I am not convinced that life is all about what we outwardly achieve but what we are as an inner person.
We know some people give to charity then go home and beat their kids and spouse.
We also know people who have wealth and willingly give it away.

People are not always who we think they are.

In order to come to terms with 'what is the point of life' I look at what we achieve within as oppose to what we achieve on the outside.
Its easy to say someone has achieved when they have come from poverty and made a 'good' life.
Is it so easy to look at others who have had an ordinary start in life and go onto have an ordinary life? Of course not, but we are not aware of the inner fights that person has had. Just as they are not aware of our private moutains and personal hell.

A baby who dies having had a few hours of life, have they achieved more or less than someone who live 80 yrs?

To me it appears that some people are here to learn or help others learn specific aspects within their soul. Its not about length of life, nor outward achievement but how far our soul travels and what it learns in the process.

Every persons actions affects others, like the chaos theory. I have no idea what the point of life is, but I am sure its not about what others think we should achieve or how others think we should act.

People who have had near death experiences talk of being told they had more work to do. Some people take that to mean they should give back to society or make a magnanimous gesture as a way of saying 'I lived.' I am not suggesting thats wrong, but the work may refer to what our soul needs to explore and learn, not what others need to gain from us.

In a BDSM context, I have discovered far more inner peace and contentment through this life than I did from studying, working all the hours sent in the care industry and giving far to much of my time and energy to other people. That may make me sound more selfish than I was, and in some respects thats true. I am more selfish now, selfish about time I spend with people I love. I won't allow work to dictate and interfere with the time I have with those who mean so much to me any more.
I am only sorry its taken a hard jolt this year to make me realise that work is always there, but moments with people who matter in our lives are soon gone.

 

[graceanne]

I sincerely hope that reincarnation doesn't exist, cause I don't wanna do life again.

 

[shy slave]

I sincerely hope that reincarnation doesn't exist, cause I don't wanna do life again.

Well if it does I want to be a fairy all small and pretty, with the ability to fly into peoples bedrooms and search for toys and chocolate

 

[graceanne]

Well if it does I want to be a fairy all small and pretty, with the ability to fly into peoples bedrooms and search for toys and chocolate

I bet fairy's have their own problems. Like being mistaken for bugs, and squished with a fly swatter.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Not a week goes by that I don't promise myself that this is the week I will go see a counselor and begin therapy.

Life absolutely cracks me up. There isn't a day that goes by where someone doesn't tell me I'm hot, brilliant, charming; that I have a great car, a great home, a great girlfriend. That my future is so bright and I can have anything I want. And yet not a week goes by that I don't look at myself in the mirror and want to break through it and strangle the man on the other side to death.

I'm tired of hating myself and not changing. I'm tired of being sad and not crying. I'm tired of asking for help and not taking it.

I'm tired of being a depressive, needy, attention whore and making posts like this. I'm tired of living on the internet.

I'm tired of feeling superior and inferior at the same time. I'm tired of demanding what I don't offer. I'm tired of being such a dick. I'm tired of people being such dicks to me. I'm tired of telling lies that sound true and feeling like a liar when I tell the truth.

But I think most of all, I'm tired of being so fucking tired all the time.

*pats Marquis while she warms him some milk* you just need a nap darlin'

 

[chris9]

I bet fairy's have their own problems. Like being mistaken for bugs, and squished with a fly swatter.

So is being hit with a fly swatter really that bad?

 

[graceanne]

So is being hit with a fly swatter really that bad?

Depends on if it squishes you.

 

[Red Sonja]

I sincerely hope that reincarnation doesn't exist, cause I don't wanna do life again.

Man... that reminds of the Indigo Girls... Their song Galileo, where they sing about reincarnation? "... if we have to wait til our souls get it right well at least we need not fear nuclear anhilation.."

OOPS there I go revealing my age again...

 

[DVS]

Depends on if it squishes you.

It also depends on the size of the swatter and the size of you. A normal swatter and a mornal human...it will hurt but far from squish you. A normal swatter and a fairy? The swatter probably looks like a brick wall coming at her.

Now, personally, I've grown quite fond of these electric bug zappers. Those things put out a good spark! No matter what your size, you will feel it.

 

[Kierae]

Now, personally, I've grown quite fond of these electric bug zappers. Those things put out a good spark! No matter what your size, you will feel it.

I have one of those and well was wondering just how wicked it was. I know I tested it (kinda sorta in a wimpy kind of way..hehe) and it just scared the hell out of me - not sure if it was more of the noise or the unknown. Any hints I should pass on? Must be fucking nuts to pass on any of these hints but oh well - hard to let a toy sit idle...

 

[Chicklet]

Now, personally, I've grown quite fond of these electric bug zappers. Those things put out a good spark! No matter what your size, you will feel it.

My boss keeps threatening to zap me with his... I don't know if I want him to or not... now, if he wasn't my creepy boss...

 

[brioche]

I know how you feel about stuff, though. Don't you hate when you're feeling upset or down or tired and people are like "I know exactly how you feel" and then they start telling you about their own depression, as if they're one-upping yours? Or even worse, when you turn back around and do the same back to them, trying to top their sob stories? I hate that. It's what I do though. But I hate it while I do it.

It's a hard time of year for people with depression. You probably know that. Most people know that somewhat random little factoid. But yeah...

I hope this wasn't directed at me, since what I wrote was in an attempt to help.
I feel anyone going into therapy deserves to be presented with the facts.

Please don't piss me off - I'm running out of places to hide the bodies .

 

[DVS]

I have one of those and well was wondering just how wicked it was. I know I tested it (kinda sorta in a wimpy kind of way..hehe) and it just scared the hell out of me - not sure if it was more of the noise or the unknown. Any hints I should pass on? Must be fucking nuts to pass on any of these hints but oh well - hard to let a toy sit idle...

Now, what I'm talking about is those that look like a tennis racket. Not those that stand up in your back yard and go ZZZZZZzzzzt, when a bug hits it. I haven't ever seen the plans for one, so I don't know the electrical output. I don't know how much juice is in one of those, and I wonder if they are safe for humans.

But, the tennis racket ones are cool. They still put out a pretty good zap, and you can even see a spark. If you turn the lights out, you'll really see that spark. They put out a pretty good jolt, too, but it's only for a split second so any affects are very short lived.

the one I have works on the principle of two grids of wire mesh. One grid is on the inside and the other grid is on the outside of that. The inside grid is pretty sturdy so it doesn't move. the outside grid is more springy and it will flex. You swat someone with it, and the outside grid will flex until it touches the inside grid and ZAP!

The bulk of the current goes from one grid to the other and that's where the spark is produced. And, although the current doesn't really go through the person, it will get it's share of the zap because it's so close to it. Trust me, you'll feel it.

I love the power of it...a naked sub tied with her ass in the air...and I pull out my bug zapper. She agrees to become the best this side of the Mississippi at the skill of deep throat, with just a few swats and the threat of more.

 

[Kierae]

Now, what I'm talking about is those that look like a tennis racket. Not those that stand up in your back yard and go ZZZZZZzzzzt, when a bug hits it. I haven't ever seen the plans for one, so I don't know the electrical output. I don't know how much juice is in one of those, and I wonder if they are safe for humans.

But, the tennis racket ones are cool. They still put out a pretty good zap, and you can even see a spark. If you turn the lights out, you'll really see that spark. They put out a pretty good jolt, too, but it's only for a split second so any affects are very short lived.

the one I have works on the principle of two grids of wire mesh. One grid is on the inside and the other grid is on the outside of that. The inside grid is pretty sturdy so it doesn't move. the outside grid is more springy and it will flex. You swat someone with it, and the outside grid will flex until it touches the inside grid and ZAP!

The bulk of the current goes from one grid to the other and that's where the spark is produced. And, although the current doesn't really go through the person, it will get it's share of the zap because it's so close to it. Trust me, you'll feel it.

I love the power of it...a naked sub tied with her ass in the air...and I pull out my bug zapper. She agrees to become the best this side of the Mississippi at the skill of deep throat, with just a few swats and the threat of more.

The one we have is the tennis racket one too and currently buried somewhere since its clearly something I can see my son picking up out of curiousity and finding 20 other uses for it. The noise of it was clearly intimidating but with the double grid we weren't sure just how intense it would be or if there needed to be alterations to it. Thanks ( I think!)

 

[catalina_francisco]

Now, what I'm talking about is those that look like a tennis racket.

Hmmmm, all F has to do is mention ours, or look in the direction of the place where it lives and I forget all else except perfecting obedience....quickly!! And to think it was my idea to buy a couple of them!!


Catalina