When did you realize you were turned on by BDSM?

[northwoods_sub]

Hi, NWS, long freakin' time no see! Good to see you wander back in; we've missed you in the football pools the last few years!

BTW, clicked on the mydungeonspace link in your sig and got sent to a generic "join us and you can see stuff" page... ?

I love wandering back in after a time and seeing who is still here and who is not. The nilla world does not give me a great deal of free time for my favorite past-times. Thank you about the my dungeon space link I will take a look at it

 

[asfucwit]

Age 8 found copies of Ball & Chain in Fathers wardrobe.
Age 17-30 Tried to suppress BDSM thoughts believing them abusive.
However, Vanilla sex was at best unpleasant and at worst a burden.
Then I was my early 30's when I learnt the difference between perverse and perverted and that BDSM and Abuse are not one and the same thing.
It is up to me and/or my partner/sub to decide where one stops and the other starts.

 

[NYWings]

Like so many of you I only knew I got very excited by certain things and it started very young for me. An older neighbor boy from a very dis functional family liked to take us younger kids out to the woods to play. always started out as kid games, cowboys & indians, war games, cops and robbers. The twist was he liked to "punish" his captives. we took turns being the captive and I found myself always wanting to be the captive. Why? I don't know other than it excited me so much and felt so good when I got those exciting feelings shooting up inside me.
Noting really drastic happened but usually the victim would caught and brought to the leader ( the big older boy). He would either tell the others to hold the victim and he would strip them naked or he would order one of the others to strip the victim. Once the victim was naked we would be tired up to a tree to be held. At this time the others would freely fondle and "play" with the naked victim. I had no idea why but my little penis would be rock hard all the time. Being tied up as others played with me was so exciting to me.
We never heard of these terms BDSM or anything like it. We called it " playing dirty" and kept it a secret because we knew we would get into trouble if anyone found out.
Much later as a teen I had another experience that I have locked in my memory forever as one of the most exciting sexually experiences of my life. but thats another story.

 

[TheSilverLining]

Like many others here, I've always known which things have turned me on. It was only a few years ago that I discovered a name for these things, and indeed myself (where applicable).

I recall having a conversation with an older male friend (who subsequently became so much more than that), waxing lyrical about our retrospective fantasies.
He tried to shock me. I had a lightbulb moment. Down the rabbit-hole I fell.

In retrospect, as a very small child if there were ever any games that involved capture, I was always the one begging to be tied up....

 

[Miles Long]

When did you realize you were turned on by BDSM? What was it that got you hooked?

As long as I've been aware of sexuality, especially my own, I've known that many things which can fall under the umbrella of BDSM excite and interest me. But for a long time I didn't necessarily know about BDSM per se. For example, whenever I encountered things like spankings, tying women up, and verbal abuse/humiliation (to name just a few) it was pretty obvious to me that I found these things fascinating and very arousing. But at the same time I grew up in a background and environment where there was no opportunity to properly discuss or explore any of these things. I didn't have the vocabulary or context to even begin to open up to people, and even if I did I can't think that where I grew up it would have ended in any positive way.

***NEW PARAGRAPH***

Luckily for me, in my 20s I happened to date a couple women who shared my interest in many areas of BDSM. That's when I was able to start learning about and formalizing my opinions on all the myriad mental and physical aspects of BDSM and how it can be part of sex and relationships. I got over the whole "a gentleman doesn't like these things and should never treat a woman this way" and realized that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to other human beings - that truly respectful behavior involves open communication and treating people the way they want to be treated. And this is essentially what hooked me. I went from saying "hey these are things that turn me on" to saying "these are things that turn me on and they are part of something that provides an intensity I crave, an intensity that can lead to deeper emotional intimacy with a special woman."

***FOND RECOLLECTION ALERT, PROBABLY ONLY INTERESTING TO ME***

This thread reminds me of an experience from that period of my life when I knew I liked BDSM but hadn't really explored anything. I was in my early 20s and spending the summer in Madrid by myself. I lived near some movie theaters and would see the billboards advertising various movies everyday along the street. That summer one of the theaters was showing the movie Secretary starring James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. I didn't know anything about the film, but the poster was a picture of a secretary bent over at the waist grabbing her ankles, and the tagline said "Assume the position." Hey I found a pic! (Thanks google image search!)

http://www.elseptimoarte.net/carteles/secretary_blog.jpg

After seeing that poster the four and a half euros for a matinee was a no-brainer! The movie was dubbed into Spanish instead of subtitled, which greatly reduced my understanding of the dialog. My Spanish was pretty good, but let's face it: the words for ball gag and spreader bar don't come up much in language classes. Clearly they should. So I sat there through the whole movie simultaneously thinking "what the fuck is going on?" and "I love absolutely everything going on here." I still chuckle when I think back to that afternoon, and it's a good reminder of just how far I've come in learning about BDSM, myself, and the world in general in the last 10 or so years.

***FINAL CHANCE TO USE SOME CAPITAL LETTERS***

 

[laurasunshinegal]

i think that the vague, nameless idea has always been a part of me, but what gave it a name and made me realize that i wasnt alone was, ironically, reading erotic stories online. just discovering this weird, strange, beautiful category called "bdsm" was this moment of realization... "oh, im NOT alone!"

so thanks, naughty stories!

 

[blulilacgrl]

After I had my children. Something about being a mom and always keeping one ear attuned to the slightest noise really kept me from enjoying sex. Then one night hubby slapped my ass to get my attention. After that I found pain centered and focused me. I have also found a tremendous amount of exhilaration in the endurance aspect, a need to see how much I can take. Although sometimes that can be a bad thing.