When is it too late for character descriptions?

[Ferawyn]

This is interesting. I just spent a few minutes wondering about how I describe characters. This is what I came up with; I tend to ignore the POV character. He/she doesn't get much of a description unless he/she does something that makes it necessary. (With an absent flick she sent some long hairs back over her shoulder.) This allows the viewer to come up with whatever they want and allows quick and easy identification with the character.

Other characters (and rooms, situations, etc...) are described as he/she sees them. 'Shopping lists' are pointless as (for me) erotic stories are as much about the imagination of the reader as they are about the imagination of the writer. Also, you don't 'see' someone's measurements or exact height. You might think someone is tall compared to yourself, or that he looks fat and lazy. The second already isn't so much an observation, but rather a judgement, which is what most striking descriptions really are. A wall isn't painted #99cc66 but rather 'a tacky dark green'.

Similarly for characters I wouldn't say someone is wearing a brown overcoat and some gold chains. I'd say he walks with his shoulders hunched and his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his stained brown overcoat. His dark hungry eyes contrasting sharply with the gleam of the golden chains around his neck.

The information is there, but it's covered in the point-of-view and judgement of the main character.

The only time I use such description is when the character first appears in the story, unless there are significant changes to a character's appearance. Someone who just got beaten up will be described again as he enteres a diner to call for help, since the people in the diner are seeing him for the first time, and will probably be surprised at the state of his face and clothes. But there's no point in calling attention to a girl's blond hair every three paragraphs.

Hope this helps.

 

[rikaaim]

This is interesting. I just spent a few minutes wondering about how I describe characters. This is what I came up with; I tend to ignore the POV character. He/she doesn't get much of a description unless he/she does something that makes it necessary. (With an absent flick she sent some long hairs back over her shoulder.) This allows the viewer to come up with whatever they want and allows quick and easy identification with the character.

Other characters (and rooms, situations, etc...) are described as he/she sees them. 'Shopping lists' are pointless as (for me) erotic stories are as much about the imagination of the reader as they are about the imagination of the writer. Also, you don't 'see' someone's measurements or exact height. You might think someone is tall compared to yourself, or that he looks fat and lazy. The second already isn't so much an observation, but rather a judgement, which is what most striking descriptions really are. A wall isn't painted #99cc66 but rather 'a tacky dark green'.

Similarly for characters I wouldn't say someone is wearing a brown overcoat and some gold chains. I'd say he walks with his shoulders hunched and his hands stuffed deep in the pockets of his stained brown overcoat. His dark hungry eyes contrasting sharply with the gleam of the golden chains around his neck.

The information is there, but it's covered in the point-of-view and judgement of the main character.

The only time I use such description is when the character first appears in the story, unless there are significant changes to a character's appearance. Someone who just got beaten up will be described again as he enteres a diner to call for help, since the people in the diner are seeing him for the first time, and will probably be surprised at the state of his face and clothes. But there's no point in calling attention to a girl's blond hair every three paragraphs.

Hope this helps.

You provide some excellent examples. I agree completely. As Zoot said, it's about what the character does. What you say about POV is exactly what brings the character into focus. Do we keep a far away "shot" from the character describing general actions? Or bring the into a closer "focus" with speicific. Like your hands in the pocket example. Of course that depends on the situation, but it's an excellent point to be made.

Zoot, I watch people all the time. I hardly remember hair color. Eyes. That sorta thing. Recently I've been starting to see someone new. After parting our seperate ways the first time I couldn't recall exactly her eye color, or her exact hair color. I knew she was fun. Outgoing. Shy, yet forward enough to approach me. That means something in my book. Meaning, if she's shy, but willing to try new things, fun!

I do recall one specific. We were talking about tongue piercings and she said she couldn't get one because of the vains in her tongue. She stuck her tongue out to show me and it was very long and nicely pointed on the end. That's a nice image to keep. I hope one day I'll be able to see what that tongue can do.

 

[Stella_Omega]

ANd that 6'2" guy? If he stops and puts his finger to his lips when he thinks, there's no way I'm going to see him as a he-man.

ROFLMAO! It's Jeff Blume!
god, I love it, can I use it?

Stories are ultimately about the things people do, not the way they look. Only in porn are looks important, and even here they're not as necessary as most people think.

especially in porn, it's about what the person does...

I find so many stories here that begin with an obsessive description of the characters looks and clothing, even listing the brand names of what they're wearing! It's the mark of a personal masturbation fantasy, IMO. Not like us Real Author types *pats hair*

The information is there, but it's covered in the point-of-view and judgement of the main character.

perfect,perfect! Your point about a good description including a judgement call is excellent.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I find so many stories here that begin with an obsessive description of the characters looks and clothing, even listing the brand names of what they're wearing! It's the mark of a personal masturbation fantasy, IMO. Not like us Real Author types *pats hair*

Guys especially are hopelessly obsessed with the visual, and we're convinced that if we could only make you see how gorgeous she is, or just how fabulous her tits are, then you'd find the scene as exciting as we do and give us the 5 we so obviously deserve.

That leads to some truly terrible descriptive ploys, like the celebrity simile ("She looked just like Pamela Anderson, only with longer hair!") or the subjective superlative ("The most gorgeous body he'd ever seen!" or "Legs to die for"). This last one is especially annoying, because it tells you nothing of what her body or legs looked like, and we're expected to squeeze some erotic imagery out of a character's peronal opinion.

It doesn't work, and yet faces are so important to us that we're convinced the reader needs a description, even though faces are all but impossible to describe, and attempts inevitably have to fall back on non-descriptive value judgments like "beautiful" and "sensuous" and "ruggedly handsome."

Hell, I read all of Dracula without ever knowing what an "acquiline nose" was. He had one, but all I saw was Bella Lugosi's Romanian beezer. I'm still not sure what a sensuous mouth is, and I stop reading immediately as soon as I come upon the word "cute". "Sad eyes" might mean Nicholas Cage, or Albert Schweitzer or Paul McCartney.

Even so, there are times when you'll want to describe. I wrote a vampire story in which the female vamp was an angelic-looking blonde, where I was being cute and playing against type, so I mentioned her radiant blonde ringlets, etc.. I have another story where I want the guy to be big and strapping, because love is going to turn him into a quivering weakling, so I come out and tell you he's a big guy. But then I reinforce it by having everyone who meets him treat him like he's a dumb jock so the reader will remember his size.

The most fun I have with descriptions is in my hard-boiled detective stories, where I get to have my PI use all that over-the-top gumshoe talk - "legs like honey dripping down a stick", "nipples like happy puppies","hair you wanted to lick." I love that stuff, but it's not really descriptive, and it says more about my PI than it does about the bodies he's describing.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Zoot, I watch people all the time. I hardly remember hair color. Eyes. That sorta thing. Recently I've been starting to see someone new. After parting our seperate ways the first time I couldn't recall exactly her eye color, or her exact hair color. I knew she was fun. Outgoing. Shy, yet forward enough to approach me. That means something in my book. Meaning, if she's shy, but willing to try new things, fun!

Exactly. We catch hell for not remembering hair and eye color because women are very aware of them, from using them when they dress. But, honestly, what does it matter to me if your eyes are blue or brown?

It seems like we spend half our time convincing ourselves that a person's appearance doesn't matter at all, and then, as writers, we spend the other half trying to describe that that thing we just said doesn't matter.

I was just thinking how I could sit here and write three or four pages of description of a friend of mine, trying to show you what he's like, and none of it would be as effective as telling you that he's so obsessively neat that when we went to a ball game and he spilled beer in the grandstand, he tried to wipe it up with paper napkins.

And I'll bet you can see that guy pretty clearly from that little story. At least as well as I could possibly paint him through description.

I believe there are little revelatory vignettes like that for every character, if only we could think of them.

 

[Ferawyn]

This last one is especially annoying, because it tells you nothing of what her body or legs looked like, and we're expected to squeeze some erotic imagery out of a character's peronal opinion.

...

I love that stuff, but it's not really descriptive, and it says more about my PI than it does about the bodies he's describing.

That's the point. Your desciption shouldn't say too much about the character being described. It should say something about the character doing the describing. That's what pulls a reader into a story (imho) and the fact that your pov character finds whatever is happening exciting will lead to the reader being excited. Even when the descriptions themselves won't.

 

[cloudy]

I was just thinking how I could sit here and write three or four pages of description of a friend of mine, trying to show you what he's like, and none of it would be as effective as telling you that he's so obsessively neat that when we went to a ball game and he spilled beer in the grandstand, he tried to wipe it up with paper napkins.

And I'll bet you can see that guy pretty clearly from that little story. At least as well as I could possibly paint him through description.

I believe there are little revelatory vignettes like that for every character, if only we could think of them.

This is perfect! Thank you, doc.

 

[Penelope Street]

In some cases, the description of a character is just to help the reader identify with them

There are other situations, however, when a character's looks impacts the story.

...

In short, (and MHO) there is no clear-cut, one-size-fits-all answer.

Yeah. What he said. Rather than making a part of their style, I believe a writer should simply consider the question "How does the character's appearance impact the other characters and the story?"
If it doesn't, then why include it? Often enough however, appearance does matter; yet even then I think a writer need only address the aspects of the appearance that make a difference.

Like Ferawyn and Zoot discussed, POV also matters. Men are more visual, so I'm not surprised when a man describes a woman in physical terms- at least those aspects of her appearance that are important to him. If a female narrator does the same, especially if she goes into detail on brand-name clothing, perhaps that says more about her than the person she's describing?

Regarding how far into a story one can include a description, this is a case where never is better than late.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Like Ferawyn and Zoot discussed, POV also matters. Men are more visual, so I'm not surprised when a man describes a woman in physical terms- at least those aspects of her appearance that are important to him. If a female narrator does the same, especially if she goes into detail on brand-name clothing, perhaps that says more about her than the person she's describing?

Yes, and this can actually be used to a good effect- sometimes very funny effect, as littleredjammies shows us!

 

[shereads]

It's never too late for character descriptions. In the postscript, even.

"By the way, Lord Ravensomething was kind of girlie-looking. Marie, the governness whose long, silky hair made her employer's loins hard, looked a lot like an Irish setter, which also explains her six breasts."

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Again, you're own style and voice will also be important in determining how much and what and when you describe someone. My style is heavy on descriptive prose, it's just the way I write. If I describe everything to within an inch of it's life and don't describe the characters, it going to give the work a schozophrenic feel.

The more spartan your style, the more mileage you can get from a single phrase. If you are going into detail on everything, trying to paint scenes, if you schrimp on the character descript, it feels wrong.

 

[cloudy]

Again, you're own style and voice will also be important in determining how much and what and when you describe someone. My style is heavy on descriptive prose, it's just the way I write. If I describe everything to within an inch of it's life and don't describe the characters, it going to give the work a schozophrenic feel.

The more spartan your style, the more mileage you can get from a single phrase. If you are going into detail on everything, trying to paint scenes, if you schrimp on the character descript, it feels wrong.

I agree.

My descriptions seem sort of....ethereal, sometimes, and my character descriptions go with it, I suppose.