Where are all the men?

[ZRT]

A friend of mine (who had the coolest snake menagerie ever) had a tarantula. He was friendly and gentle, felt interesting when he crawled on my hand and arm, and did not smell like wet dog. He smelled like the wood chips in his aquarium.

Interestingly, said friend was well known for doing reptile outreach classes. I watched him take people that self-identified as terrified of snakes, and have them standing with the snake draped around their shoulders before long. But the spider-phobic people? Not so much.

Fortunately for me, I have no fear of snakes, and only a hint of hesitation when presented with the fuck-all big hairy spider. It did not take long at all to get over that hesitation. The spider was cool.

I like snakes. Snakes don't like me. It was never meant to be.

Tarantulas... I could handle them if required, but choose not to.

 

[Keroin]

I like snakes. Snakes don't like me. It was never meant to be.

Tarantulas... I could handle them if required, but choose not to.

I'm cool with snakes but respectful of the bitey kind. I was very wary any time I went hiking in Central America. Oddly enough, in eight seasons of back country travel through Baja, Mexico I never once saw a rattlesnake. I did see a few tarantulas, though. They're very timid in the wild...and fast.

Spiders and I have reached peace, as long as they keep a respectful distance. And I don't kill them but relocation is a must if borders are crossed.

 

[Homburg]

I like snakes. Snakes don't like me. It was never meant to be.

It's probably because you smell like raw beef, right?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

.... (I'll be forwarding this month's bill to you, BTW...kidding, kidding)....

Heh. Reminds me of the time one of my students threatened (kiddingly) to sue me. I looked him right in the eye and said, "Go ahead. I won't even fight it. You'll get everything I own: a pile of unpaid bills this (spreading my arms about 2 feet apart) high."

 

[Homburg]

I'm cool with snakes but respectful of the bitey kind. I was very wary any time I went hiking in Central America. Oddly enough, in eight seasons of back country travel through Baja, Mexico I never once saw a rattlesnake. I did see a few tarantulas, though. They're very timid in the wild...and fast.

The only land animal with an endoskeleton that I've killed was a snake of the bitey persuasion. I'm usually cool with letting them go their own way, but it was on the farm, and there were both livestock and dogs around. I'll take my chances with letting a snake wander off alone, but I won't chance a horse or a good dog to a copperhead bite. Hell, I won't even chance a bad dog to that. Horrible way for an animal to die.

 

[BindnCufTite]

The weirdest experience i ever had was opening a cupboard over the work counter and saw a scorpion looking back at me. I wont say that he was huge or even tiny, no machismo here. But as a guy who does his own cooking, laundry and ironing, I still can build a bookcase, fix the car, only once per problem, change lights, fuses or wiring. I am continually blown away by guys and girls who expect to thave the lady live the positio of LIVEINMAID. Women it's your fault your condone, enable and encourage it. Guys you lazy basta**s, gett off your butt, sharing is caring. There is a time and place to Dominate, but there is no place for kazy buggers.



was that a bit too intense?

 

[Shankara20]

Never really got over that.

This stuff does tend to paint over one's world view, does it not?

 

[ZRT]

It's probably because you smell like raw beef, right?

No, but I radiate waves of bacon-awesome from my aura.

Close, very close.

 

[nh23]

So funny story that relates to the OP. My best friend called me at 5am this morning. On a complete rant. She wakes up because she hears a strange noise in the room. She sat up and saw a bat flying over her head. So she nudges her boyfriend and asks him to get rid of it.

He hides under the covers and refuses to get up! She had to get out of bed completely naked and catch a bat!

She was so pissed. She said I can't ever imagine one of our fathers hiding under the fucking covers over a bat.

 

[YourCaptor]

Squash a big scorpion.

Now that I could not do. I would rather catch it and drive it out of town. Literally.

Or I might eat it, never had scorpion before, could be delicious.

Same with snakes and bats.

Squashing large things is just not my fetish.

Funny story, one of the friends dogs always snaps at flies buzzing around him, then one day he snapped and ate a friken bat. I tried to get the thing away from him, but taking something out of a hunting/guard dogs mouth is not that easy. Dog didn't get sick, in hind sight it was probably a fruit bat, I don't think we have vampires here.

 

[Homburg]

No, but I radiate waves of bacon-awesome from my aura.

Close, very close.

They like me. I think it is probably just because I'm warm.

--

So funny story that relates to the OP. My best friend called me at 5am this morning. On a complete rant. She wakes up because she hears a strange noise in the room. She sat up and saw a bat flying over her head. So she nudges her boyfriend and asks him to get rid of it.

He hides under the covers and refuses to get up! She had to get out of bed completely naked and catch a bat!

She was so pissed. She said I can't ever imagine one of our fathers hiding under the fucking covers over a bat.

Very relevant, and very true. That one deserves to have his Man Card pulled.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

So funny story that relates to the OP. My best friend called me at 5am this morning. On a complete rant. She wakes up because she hears a strange noise in the room. She sat up and saw a bat flying over her head. So she nudges her boyfriend and asks him to get rid of it.

He hides under the covers and refuses to get up! She had to get out of bed completely naked and catch a bat!

She was so pissed. She said I can't ever imagine one of our fathers hiding under the fucking covers over a bat.

Very relevant, and very true. That one deserves to have his Man Card pulled.

His response: "But, but, but... she didn't give me my garlic necklace first!"

 

[Keroin]

Squash a big scorpion.

Now that I could not do. I would rather catch it and drive it out of town. Literally.

Or I might eat it, never had scorpion before, could be delicious.

Same with snakes and bats.

Squashing large things is just not my fetish.

Funny story, one of the friends dogs always snaps at flies buzzing around him, then one day he snapped and ate a friken bat. I tried to get the thing away from him, but taking something out of a hunting/guard dogs mouth is not that easy. Dog didn't get sick, in hind sight it was probably a fruit bat, I don't think we have vampires here.

I didn't relish the idea of squashing but driving it out would have been far more complicated. I'm just glad Emily wasn't able to get to it.

Bats are nasty.Well, no they're not, bats are great, but they're nasty when caught by our pets. Huge rabies carriers. Emily caught one in Mexico and, very thoughtfully, left it on the floor by my bed, just where I could step on it. Not to mention the half dead mice she was forever bringing in and tossing up on the bed for me. Nothing quite like being awoken at dark o'clock with something wet and squealing running across your head.

 

[Netzach]

I would NOT be excited about shoveling a bat into a yogurt container or whatever, little rabid fuckers.


Things that move like that are freaky. I HATE HATE HATE moths. I like bats outdoors. In caves. Where they belong.

 

[Keroin]

I would NOT be excited about shoveling a bat into a yogurt container or whatever, little rabid fuckers.


Things that move like that are freaky. I HATE HATE HATE moths. I like bats outdoors. In caves. Where they belong.

I like moths. And butterflies. How do you feel about butterflies?

 

[Netzach]

I like moths. And butterflies. How do you feel about butterflies?

They're fine. Total hypocrisy - it's the hairy antennae and the nighttime antics. Ew.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Feeling manly today.

The summer girls in their dresses around here are giving me toxic lust.

 

[MisterSir]

Feeling manly today.

The summer girls in their dresses around here are giving me toxic lust.

Did somebody say toxic? Is this the excuse I've been waiting for to present the greatest mash-up since somebody suggested to Beethoven "odes are cool, but you really should listen to this Joy thing"?

Advance warning: Don't try to accompany it on the air drums. Your arms will fall off.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Did somebody say toxic? Is this the excuse I've been waiting for to present the greatest mash-up since somebody suggested to Beethoven "odes are cool, but you really should listen to this Joy thing"?

Advance warning: Don't try to accompany it on the air drums. Your arms will fall off.

Hey not bad. She ought to go on tour with them as a backing group.

 

[Keroin]

Spiders and Horse Chestnuts...

Got the official reply from my friend Martha today regarding the proper use of horse chestnuts to keep spiders away:

"Re: chestnuts, I change them every year, I put them in all corners of my basement including closets. they work like a charm. you only use the "nut "part not the green outside part."

There ya go. She also told me they're having a wing cook off on her husband's B-Day. I'm so bummed I won't be there.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Got the official reply from my friend Martha today regarding the proper use of horse chestnuts to keep spiders away:

"Re: chestnuts, I change them every year, I put them in all corners of my basement including closets. they work like a charm. you only use the "nut "part not the green outside part."

There ya go. She also told me they're having a wing cook off on her husband's B-Day. I'm so bummed I won't be there.

Thanks, Martha! (And Keroin for being the relay)

 

[CutieMouse]

Thanks, Martha! (And Keroin for being the relay)

[Random factoid]

Bois d'arc fruit (horse chestnuts/horse apples/etc) works to repel cockroaches as well; the wood is also termite resistant and hard as concrete once cured. It carves/works up beautifully when wet [green], but it'll break chisels once it dries out.



[/Random factoid]

 

[YourCaptor]

I passed the man test today.

There is now a female in the house, and we where watching TV when she says she just saw something move. I ask her was it big, and shes unable to answer due to lack of a reference point. I figure whatever and just chill. Then I glance over and this fucking roach is siting in the middle of the room. Honestly, that was the first one I have seen in this house, so its not like its a problem.

So I jump up run for a glass and then proceed to catch the fucker. Now this guy just went from under one thing to the next. I had to move the couch, a shelf, the TV and a chest until I finally trapped it.

He's outside now, hopefully attempting to escape something hungry.

So, do I get a medal or a kiss or something better?

PS

The other dude in the house, totally failed it.

 

[rida]

I passed the man test today.

There is now a female in the house, and we where watching TV when she says she just saw something move. I ask her was it big, and shes unable to answer due to lack of a reference point. I figure whatever and just chill. Then I glance over and this fucking roach is siting in the middle of the room. Honestly, that was the first one I have seen in this house, so its not like its a problem.

So I jump up run for a glass and then proceed to catch the fucker. Now this guy just went from under one thing to the next. I had to move the couch, a shelf, the TV and a chest until I finally trapped it.

He's outside now, hopefully attempting to escape something hungry.

So, do I get a medal or a kiss or something better?

PS

The other dude in the house, totally failed it.

Did the girl kiss you?
She should!

Tell her that she has to kiss you to show appreciation for your manly endeavor. Directs orders from the "Committee for the Appreciation of Real Men"

 

[YourCaptor]

Did the girl kiss you?
She should!

Tell her that she has to kiss you to show appreciation for your manly endeavor. Directs orders from the "Committee for the Appreciation of Real Men"

No kiss but thats official enough sounding that it may work.

I think the last appreciation kiss I got was for mopping up a kitchen drowning in a about 4 inches of water. All I had was one of those sponge mops, and about 1 hour before party guest would arrive. Got me a kiss though.