Which method of birth control is best?

[slyseeker54]

Woody

Oral.


Seriously.

Woody Allen once said he had an example of oral contraception.....he asked a woman to sleep with him and she said, "no".

 

[the captians wench]

I know all about the diseases I can get from sex. They have been drilled into my head since I was 11 years old in every health class I've ever taken. Plus I went to a safe sex workshop in college. They had us role-play being different STDs. I know their symptoms, their causes, what they look like and whether or not they can be cured. I know that there is a chance I can get pregnant if an erect penis comes anywhere near my vagina. I am trying to be sensible about this, which is why I am seeking to be on a well-established form of birth control by the time we meet. I did not tell my partner I was a virgin until recently but he did not need me to tell him to realize it. I am painfully shy and awkward about some things and it would not take a genius to realize that I'm a virgin. It's true that I do not have experience, but should I really just ignore the feelings I have for this person because I do not have any experience? If I am not ready for sex at this point, then I doubt I ever will be. I feel like I have found someone I can trust and I do not trust easily. I have thought long and hard about this decision. I really am not a stupid person, I have just been ruled by caution my entire life and I feel like there comes a time when you just have to take a risk. I believe that my partner will take good care of me and will protect himself and be tested if I asked him. I would not have even considered meeting him if I did not believe this to be the case.

I am terribly shy when it comes to sex, even with partners I've known for years, and I'm no virgin. It's just part of my personality.

And I've met a number of men that I originally talked to online. Some have been very good experiences, some have left scars. You're right, it's a chance you take, a calculated risk. Hell I can't tell you how many people tell me I'm nuts because I flew internationally to meet a man I'd known for 3 years at the time. And I'd even talked to and exchanged packages with his mother at that point. And I freely admit that I had a bit of a reality panic attack half way over the atlantic.

Love and trust only take you so far.

I loved and trusted my husband. He slept with another woman, came home, tested clean, and gave me a yeast infection. Could have been worse of course, but there it is.

I've always been of the mind that an untimely pregnancy is the least worrisome thing that can happen if I don't keep a mind on safety.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I know all about the diseases I can get from sex. They have been drilled into my head since I was 11 years old in every health class I've ever taken. Plus I went to a safe sex workshop in college. They had us role-play being different STDs. I know their symptoms, their causes, what they look like and whether or not they can be cured. I know that there is a chance I can get pregnant if an erect penis comes anywhere near my vagina. I am trying to be sensible about this, which is why I am seeking to be on a well-established form of birth control by the time we meet. I did not tell my partner I was a virgin until recently but he did not need me to tell him to realize it. I am painfully shy and awkward about some things and it would not take a genius to realize that I'm a virgin. It's true that I do not have experience, but should I really just ignore the feelings I have for this person because I do not have any experience? If I am not ready for sex at this point, then I doubt I ever will be. I feel like I have found someone I can trust and I do not trust easily. I have thought long and hard about this decision. I really am not a stupid person, I have just been ruled by caution my entire life and I feel like there comes a time when you just have to take a risk. I believe that my partner will take good care of me and will protect himself and be tested if I asked him. I would not have even considered meeting him if I did not believe this to be the case.

I guess it comes down to whether you think being ready includes playing russian roulette with your life. You can read and go to as many workshops as you like, but as in many things, humans do tend to take an attitude of 'oh yeah, I know, but it won't happen to me' and then when it does, in hindsight regret letting that thought get the better of their common sense. As to what diseases look like, many of them you might not have any visible signs.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a person who always takes the safest and most cautious path....but I also have a lot of decades life experience to back that up. Wenchie said how stupid some people felt she was for going overseas to meet her partner after 3 years online....lol, well F and I met online and communicated through that medium as well as phone for close to 4 months before he flew 16000 kms to meet, claim and marry me. We had the marriage booked before we met, and went through with it at the first legally possible day after meeting (3 weeks) for the first time. This year will mark our 9th year together amd we have never looked back or regretted our decision.....not everyone is that fortunate. Just be careful as it would be a shame to regret your decision when you could no longer reverse the possible negative outcomes. BTW, a penis does not have to be erect to get you pregnant (or pass on disease)....where there is precum, which is part of the process, there is a chance of pregnancy....can be direct contact or from your or his fingers through toouching.

Catalina

 

[Red Menace]

Rude would be if one of you didn't pick show up at the airport when you said you would. Rude would be if refreshments or use of the restroom wasn't offered when you get back to the hotel or residence. It is not rude to insist on assurance that your health is being protected.

While it very well may be the case that he would tell you if had an STD it's entirely likely that he doesn't know he's carrying something. Many infections and diseases can be asymptomatic or remain dormant for months or even years. If you're insistent on forgoing the use of a condom at least insist that he present a recent battery of tests confirming that he is indeed clean. Then get another one in 6 months. Then have sex.

As for the birth control I can not say enough good things about my IUD. Well, aside from having it inserted and I won't lie; if I had any secrets and someone was interrogating me I'd have told them everything. I opted for the copper IUD which is effective for 10 years and has no hormones. Some women report an increase in their menstrual issue but I haven't seen any of that. It pretty much just sits up in there and does its thing without me having to worry about taking something or doing anything except making sure the strings are still where they're supposed to be. Planned Parenthood never even asked if I'd had children (some doctors are reluctant to insert if you haven't given birth) and they did the procedure for free due to my complete lack of income at the time. It was totally worth the discomfort of insertion.

 

[KoPilot]

I take regular old pills, but no 4th week placebos. (Refilling my Rx every 3 weeks sucks.) I haven't gotten a period since I started this regimen since last summer, and while it's very convenient for me, it's medically necessary to keep my insane endometriosis at bay. As far as body chemistry and side effects, I didn't notice hardly anything. If anything there was a slight change in the texture of a few hairs around my crown, but that's about it.

PS- Asking your partner to help protect your health by wearing condoms or producing STD test results is about as rude as asking them to wash their hands after using the restroom.

...you would want him to wash up after using the restroom, right?

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I take regular old pills, but no 4th week placebos. (Refilling my Rx every 3 weeks sucks.)

Did you know that there are some pills now that are set up to be taken this way? I mean, you'd probably still be refilling just as often, but you wouldn't have unused placebo pills just sitting there Don't know if they're any cheaper though...just a thought!!

 

[FurryFury]

Pills work well for my daugther, they help regulate her moods somewhat. They make periods less painful over all, less long and less in liquid volume.

Pills worked well for me too at that age. I'm a bit jealous that with them, you need have only four periods a year now!

FF

 

[where]

first, this guy is not your 'partner' if you haven't met yet.

second, not using a condom when you have sex with someone you don't know (and you don't know this guy), is fucking stupid.

Sorry if I'm repeating.

 

[midwestyankee]

The best method of birth control is the one that gets used every single time you have PIV sex. In addition to that method, using a condom is the second best thing you can do to protect your health.

The single best thing you can do for your health and to avoid pregnancy, is to know your partners and refuse to have unprotected sex with anyone.

 

[Bandit58]

I'm about to become a grandmother in November because my 23 yo daughter, who lost her virginity just 6 months ago, didn't insist her boyfriend use condoms every time they had sex

He had all the excuses - "I don't like using them", "It doesn't feel as good", "It's ok I'll pull out in time"

She tried a couple of brands of pill which didn't agree with her and then got sick with glandular fever which meant she couldn't take it anyway because of liver complications.

If you're going to be having sex I think it's a good idea to go on any hormonal birth control at least 3 months before doing the deed...that way you'll have a good idea of how it's going to affect you and you won't end up pregnant to a loser who said all the right things and then leaves you in the lurch

 

[roomfor1more]

If you are not looking to greatly alter your body chemistry then a likely choice would be IUD. Other methods like diaphragm or condom especially if you are just starting to have sex runs a higher risk of pregnancy due to the lack of familiarity with the product.

 

[Chiara_searches]

If you are not looking to greatly alter your body chemistry then a likely choice would be IUD. Other methods like diaphragm or condom especially if you are just starting to have sex runs a higher risk of pregnancy due to the lack of familiarity with the product.

But condoms for safety, when coupled with another method of birth control, is still a good idea.

 

[Netzach]

Rubbers and backup. Fuck "trust" till later. You're a virgin, you have no idea who to trust and not, you may think you do. It'll emerge if you're meant to trust him. Learn to use condoms with accuracy and care before you do it.

Do you smoke?

Do you have any inflammatory autoimmune issues?

Do you have any bleeding disorders?

Is there a history of clotting in your immediate family?

If yes then back up with sponge/diaphragm if you can't be sure you're going to use rubbers EXACTLY AS DIRECTED every time and pull out while still hard.

If no, then I'd do a nuva ring, if I could use hormonal.

While we're acting like condoms fail all the time - having condom only sex with 12 strangers is safer than unprotected sex with one "friend." This is not a decision to be emotional about, but logical. Save the emotions for the fucking.

 

[YourCaptor]

FACT: Beets have nothing to do with birth control

Hence, birth control beets battlestar galactica

 

[NativPrincess]

i have been on all three

the pill, damm it really sucks if you miss a day
the patch, little square scars were not cool, but they eventually faded
the nuva ring, yes, no scars, not everyday and the hormone balance worked great for me

condoms are good too, but only like 95% effective in preventing pregnancy, while the other birth control methods are 99+

after you find someone you trust and established a commitment then you shouldn't have to worry about STDs anymore and forego the condoms

i hope it went well for you, Inquisitive

 

[PatchIsMe]

I am just wondering, how old are you, and he?
Is he a virgin as well?
Four months in the long run isn't a very long time.
Condoms are a good thing.
Heavy petting might be even better.
Online is not real life.
Online is not real life.
Online is not real life.
Get to know this guy in real life for a little bit.
There are a lot of what ifs you are dismissing.
Like, What if he does fuck you just to put another mark on the bed post?
you do get knocked up and goes back to where ever he lives?
he is trying to subtly guilt you into not making him wear a condom?
This might turn out to be the most wonderful thing to ever happen in your life honey but honestly he will be willing to wait and to wear a condom and take a test and just about any other reasonable thing you ask him to do. Its called respect for you. Good luck.

 

[satindesire]

The OP hasn't been back here in months. I sincerely doubt she's still watching this post.