Who do you think you are?

[hmmnmm]

This is a very interesting thread.
I've pondered a sort of similar idea just lately, about how one's environment tends to effect their work, but that's another topic, really.
As far as others' perceptions of me and how they match with my own?
Well, I always thought of myself as relatively friendly, open, and easy-going, but more than one person has told me that I present a stand-offish attitude.
I think there's no way to avoid revealing something about yourself when you put a pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, even if you intentionally try to.
My life has generally been without direction, I have an eternal bond with Clutter, and, strange or not, most of what I try to write seems to end up that way, too: directionless and cluttered.
Interesting thread, EL.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

How do you percieve yourself?

I'm a twit.

How do you think other people in real life and online perceive you? Do you think it is the same as the way you view yourself?

Pretty much the same. / Yup.

And last but not least, how do these perceptions effect your writing if they do at all?

Not at all.

 

[English Lady]

mat ogg, boota, Dr freud, hmmnmm and Cheerful thanks for replying.

Minsue hits on something, the variation of perception with mood. I think our views of ourselves must be coloured by that and I would imagine so would be the perceptions of others.

DrFreud probably picked up on a problem with my question wording *L* I dunno though, I think I uses my senses to percieve things about myself and often I feel I don't know myself that well.

I have always been fascinated by how different my recorded voice sounds and I can see that as a great illustration about how others would have a different perception of me -Thank you.


Boota...I think you're lovely. So maybe your right about the perceptions of folks online *L*

hmmnmm - It is finny isn't it when you find out someone percieves you in a totally different way than you expect. Can you do anything about that though? is the next question.

CD...bah silly duck! Silly yes, a Twit no. I don't see you as having excessive body hair and eating bird pie anyways

 

[hmmnmm]

Several times when I have traveled, say, by bus or train, and I notice a small group of fellow travelers and enter into a casual mingling with them; almost every time, if I try to add something to their conversation - usually intended to be light and even humorous - I just get these strange looks and sometimes they gravitate away. I only stand there and replay what I said and what part they may have taken in a way I did not intend. Sometimes I find it: "Oh, I see where that phrase might not be so appreciated." Sometimes i don't find it: "What did I say? What did I say?"
It does not bother me as much as it used to.
Could continue on that note, but better stop now.
Only that sometimes I get that similar feeling when participating in internet forums (not just this one). Also, whatever I have written and exposed to other eyes (again, not just here) seems to bring a similar reaction. Again, it used to bother me a lot more than it does now.
Hope these comments are appropriate to this thread.

 

[English Lady]

Several times when I have traveled, say, by bus or train, and I notice a small group of fellow travelers and enter into a casual mingling with them; almost every time, if I try to add something to their conversation - usually intended to be light and even humorous - I just get these strange looks and sometimes they gravitate away. I only stand there and replay what I said and what part they may have taken in a way I did not intend. Sometimes I find it: "Oh, I see where that phrase might not be so appreciated." Sometimes i don't find it: "What did I say? What did I say?"
It does not bother me as much as it used to.
Could continue on that note, but better stop now.
Only that sometimes I get that similar feeling when participating in internet forums (not just this one). Also, whatever I have written and exposed to other eyes (again, not just here) seems to bring a similar reaction. Again, it used to bother me a lot more than it does now.
Hope these comments are appropriate to this thread.

Yes I think they're very appropriate

 

[minsue]

I'm a twit.

Pretty much the same. / Yup.

PFFFFFFT!!!!!

 

[cheerful_deviant]

PFFFFFFT!!!!!

 

[sophia jane]

How do I perceive myself?
I think I am pretty self-aware, except for that little voice that tells me all the bad things about myself. I am a mom, a poet, a bit of a slut. I have alot of goals and dreams that I put on hold for my kids, so I feel like I am fairly ambitious, too.

How do others perceive me?
In RL, I think it is only the mom part people see. Since I stay home with my kids and I don't share my writing in RL, people pretty much only see a mom with three kids who bakes cookies and goes to the park. They don't try to get past the surface of that. Even family and friends (with one exception) see me that way. Online, I think the writer and slut part comes through more, but I still don't think that anyone sees the whole picture. It is easier for the online folks to see more of me, though, because I share more online.

Does this affect my writing?
Yes. How? I think I try to show myself, to expose the real me, in my writing. Especially in my poetry. That is the one place I feel I can be "real."

SJ

 

[dr_mabeuse]

You never ever tell anyone how you perceive yourself. If you know anything about spiritual forces you know that this is a fundamental truth. It's worse than telling people your secret name.

Ambiguity is the gift that makes life and love possible. Love is about letting yourself be defined by other people, plain and simple. Only a fool goes around telling people what they are or believing their own opinions of themselves.

Every time you try to nail yourself down you kill a little part of yourself, and the more you nail, the deader you get. That's why people in "primitive" societies didn't want their pictures taken. Not because they thought that their spirits would be "captured" in the camera, but because they know that a still image lies, and they're right. You're not a thing, you're a process. Think of what you'd be if you truly were your driver's license picture!

I thought everyone knew this.

 

[English Lady]

You never ever tell anyone how you perceive yourself. If you know anything about spiritual forces you know that this is a fundamental truth. It's worse than telling people your secret name.

Ambiguity is the gift that makes life and love possible. Love is about letting yourself be defined by other people, plain and simple. Only a fool goes around telling people what they are or believing their own opinions of themselves.

Every time you try to nail yourself down you kill a little part of yourself, and the more you nail, the deader you get. That's why people in "primitive" societies didn't want their pictures taken. Not because they thought that their spirits would be "captured" in the camera, but because they know that a still image lies, and they're right. You're not a thing, you're a process. Think of what you'd be if you truly were your driver's license picture!

I thought everyone knew this.

Dr M - I really don't believe that working out who you will kill you, figuratively or really. I think it's one thing people should strive to do, to try and understand themselves better.

I also think it's interesting (and useful) to work out how people percieve me compared to how I see me. I think it's good for anyone to do that, to help communication and to constantly keep myself from getting set in my ways and keeping bad habits*L*

Anyhow, that's my view and ou've stated yours..thank you for a completely different view on things Sophia..In real life I am very much seen as a mother too I kinda like it.

 

[cloudy]

How do you percieve yourself?

This question is almost too deep for me to answer today. Hmmm...

I'm just me, I suppose. Moody, with a white-hot temper at times, but I also give of myself 100% in relationships, whether they're romantic, or friendships.

How do you think other people in real life and online perceive you? Do you think it is the same as the way you view yourself?

I'm not sure. I think some tend to think I'm much stronger, or much tougher, than I really am. Not the same way I view myself at all.

And last but not least, how do these perceptions effect your writing if they do at all?

I don't think they affect my writing at all. I don't think about things like that when I'm in the zone, and it's flowing really well.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

How do I perceive myself? I see myself as someone who is a good friend... who listens to others problems and tries to help but is also not afraid to seek help from friends for myself... I'm easy going unless I think I or one of my friends have been wronged. I would never intentionally hurt anyone, and I try to be nice to people even if I don't particularly like them. I'm shy. I'm also a mom who has kind of lost sight of who she really is.

How do others perceive me? I haven't a clue. I've been here over a year and haven't been able to forge any kind of "close" friendship with anyone, and only chat with one person off-site, so I am guessing I'm not perceived as someone people really want to get to know, though I don't understand why.

Affect my writing? no

 

[gauchecritic]

Dr M - I really don't believe that working out who you will kill you, figuratively or really. I think it's one thing people should strive to do, to try and understand themselves better.

I think Zoot has a very good point there. Even if you do get to know who you are, are you going to be the same person next year? Next month? Next week? Tomorrow?

I think it's good for anyone to do that, to help communication and to constantly keep myself from getting set in my ways and keeping bad habits*L*

You even agree with it too! If you rid yourself of a bad habit then you're not the same person.

I'm in a state of constant amazement when I watch my wife sleeping, noticing things about her that I've never seen before. Is it because they're new to me or new to us both?

 

[DrFreud]

You never ever tell anyone how you perceive yourself. If you know anything about spiritual forces you know that this is a fundamental truth. It's worse than telling people your secret name.

Ambiguity is the gift that makes life and love possible. Love is about letting yourself be defined by other people, plain and simple. Only a fool goes around telling people what they are or believing their own opinions of themselves.

Every time you try to nail yourself down you kill a little part of yourself, and the more you nail, the deader you get. That's why people in "primitive" societies didn't want their pictures taken. Not because they thought that their spirits would be "captured" in the camera, but because they know that a still image lies, and they're right. You're not a thing, you're a process. Think of what you'd be if you truly were your driver's license picture!

I thought everyone knew this.

Mab. I agree what you said about how we're not a thing, we're a process. Sartre had a most insightful analysis about this issue and especially the "regard d'autrui" (the way other people look at us). Every time someone stares at you, they're judging you as an object and that revolts you. What they see is not what you are now, and less likely what you're going to be in the future.
You are a project that doesn't cease to evolve until your death.

However what I didn't get you in your post is how trying to figure out yourself kills a part of you. Do you care to elaborate a bit more on that?

 

[English Lady]

Gauche, I see what you're saying but I'm not saying I will know eactly who I am and as you say even if I do I will change. I will never ever know me completely but does that mean the process of looking into myself, trying to see what I am is totally defunct?

I don't think so. It helps me to see why I react in certain ways and could help me to change (making it an ongoing thing) and helps me when I look back over things I have done or have happened to me to realise why I reacted as I did.

Maybe I over analyse, probably I do. If you don't feel blessed you don't feel the need too *L*

 

[hmmnmm]

You never ever tell anyone how you perceive yourself. If you know anything about spiritual forces you know that this is a fundamental truth. It's worse than telling people your secret name.

Ambiguity is the gift that makes life and love possible. Love is about letting yourself be defined by other people, plain and simple. Only a fool goes around telling people what they are or believing their own opinions of themselves.

Every time you try to nail yourself down you kill a little part of yourself, and the more you nail, the deader you get. That's why people in "primitive" societies didn't want their pictures taken. Not because they thought that their spirits would be "captured" in the camera, but because they know that a still image lies, and they're right. You're not a thing, you're a process. Think of what you'd be if you truly were your driver's license picture!

I thought everyone knew this.

I should probably think on this before responding.
I think we could mark a difference between going around advertizing ourselves as we see ourselves, and being asked "how do you see yourself"
Anyone who thinks they know themselves, blindspots and all, should eventually expect a great challenge to those perceptions if another informs them that they see something completely different. I agree that nailing oneself down can be a mortal mistake - likewise, I think the same holds true with letting others nail another down. There is no absolute answer to this stuff. Agreed, we are process rather than things - and anytime we try to take hold off a process, it has already changed while we still struggle to hold it long enough to understand. Also, any other person is at complete liberty to make any definition they wish about any other person. It is the other person's choice whether they will make that perception their own. The big mistake is when you keep trying to change to fit another's perception, because then you're set up to revolve and get nowhere rather than evolve into a more natural process that you/we are.
It goes both ways, of course.
Should we impose our definitions upon others and expect them to see what we see? Should we care? Depends on the person.
And, maybe, the reason driver's license pictures are so horrifying is that they reveal more truth about us than we wish to see.

 

[English Lady]

I should probably think on this before responding.
I think we could mark a difference between going around advertizing ourselves as we see ourselves, and being asked "how do you see yourself"
Anyone who thinks they know themselves, blindspots and all, should eventually expect a great challenge to those perceptions if another informs them that they see something completely different. I agree that nailing oneself down can be a mortal mistake - likewise, I think the same holds true with letting others nail another down. There is no absolute answer to this stuff. Agreed, we are process rather than things - and anytime we try to take hold off a process, it has already changed while we still struggle to hold it long enough to understand. Also, any other person is at complete liberty to make any definition they wish about any other person. It is the other person's choice whether they will make that perception their own. The big mistake is when you keep trying to change to fit another's perception, because then you're set up to revolve and get nowhere rather than evolve into a more natural process that you/we are.
It goes both ways, of course.
Should we impose our definitions upon others and expect them to see what we see? Should we care? Depends on the person.
And, maybe, the reason driver's license pictures are so horrifying is that they reveal more truth about us than we wish to see.

Many great points there...going to ponder them now

 

[BlackShanglan]

Think of what you'd be if you truly were your driver's license picture!

A horse?

 

[English Lady]

A horse?

A cute horse at that though

 

[Alexis Haines]

Every time you try to nail yourself down you kill a little part of yourself, and the more you nail, the deader you get. (Dr. Mabeuse)

However what I didn't get you in your post is how trying to figure out yourself kills a part of you. Do you care to elaborate a bit more on that? (Dr. Freud)

Good Doctors,
I don't think knowledge of yourself will diminish you, necessarily. But do I think that a consequence of that knowledge is the choice and possibility of killing a part of yourself.

Have you read any of "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" by Joseph Campbell? I think somewhere in that book that he says something like, "be careful when slaying your demons that you do not kill that which is the best part of you".

Let's say I am immoral (the 'demon' of iniquity) and I am beautiful, alive and joyous in my immorality. Then let's say I "nail" down that part of my self, and I now perceive myself to be immoral. Now I have knowledge of my demon. What now?

If I fear my nature I may decide to kill my 'demon'. I revise my value system, get more exercise, eat right, conform, train myself to live a 'better' life. Where is my joy now? A part of my inner life is gone. I have lost an essential part of me; I am "deader", as Dr. Mabeus puts it.

If I do not fear my nature, I call upon my 'demon' to help me (for example) write erotica; I step into beauty and I dance with joy in my living room when anonymous responds, 'hey, that's hot!'. If I choose right, I sustain my mundane life with my knowledge of who I am.

As for who perceives this about me, and how it affects my writing... the joy is mine and if it is shared, then there is more to joy to life. The rest doesn't matter much to me.

 

[lewdandlicentious]

Hey, the Cat-Twat is back!!!

So then, how do I perceive myself,


It's totally easy!

I'm a fucking twat!!!

Beat that!!!!

 

[Guest]

Hey, the Cat-Twat is back!!!

So then, how do I perceive myself,


It's totally easy!

I'm a fucking twat!!!

Beat that!!!!

I agree with your perception, up to a point.

You left out a crucial word, hon. You are a...



SEXY Fucking Twat!!!

 

[lewdandlicentious]

Hey, check out the totty, who's the skirt with the cleavage????

Grrrrrrraaaaoooowwwrrrrr

 

[Guest]

I meant to say... I'm not gonna say how I perceive myself. I prefer to remain a woman of mystery.



(If anyone laughed at that, they get a slap. )

 

[Guest]

Hey, check out the totty, who's the skirt with the cleavage????

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Who, me?

Why, kind sir, *ROAWR* yerself.




(Fancy a fuck, love?)