Who would direct your life?

[Keroin]

Bonus points if you come up with a title for your silver screen epic.

(Bonus, bonus points if you can describe the trailer).

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I dunno... who's the most boring director of the most boring documentaries ever filmed?

Bonus points if you come up with a title for your silver screen epic.

(Bonus, bonus points if you can describe the trailer).

"Ennui." Or perhaps "Weltshmerz."

The trailer would be an unending expanse of shades of grey, undulating slowly and then stopping. So would the movie.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

MY version:

Directed by: Michael Bey
Starring: John Barrowman as the young Evil_Geoff and Harrison Ford as the old Evil Geoff.

Plot synopsis: A young studly sadist whips his way through life, and in his Golden years coaches the up and coming younger generation...


The "closer to reality" version:
Directed by: Woody Allen
Starring: John Goodman as Evil Geoff

Plot synopsis: A tepid comedy of errors about a schlemiel with a sadistic sense of humor who has a penchant for being in the wrong place at the wrong time...

 

[Sir_Winston54]

MY version: <snip>

Sorry, this sounds interesting, in either version. You are hereby suspended from posting privileges in this thread for 3 days.




Oh, wait. This isn't the boring thread.

Never mind. Go back about your business. Nothing to see here, folks.

 

[dexwebster]

Baz Luhrman, with stop-motion animated childhood flashback scenes guest directed by Guillermo del Toro.

 

[YourCaptor]

Mary Harron

 

[MisterSir]

Universal Studios present...

A film by Edgar Wright...​

Starring Patrick Stump...​

Felicia Day...​

Meryl Streep...

Sarah Silverman...​

Maggie Gyllenhaal...​

Bill Hader...​

And Charlie Benante in...

The Beat Goes On​

Rated R for sex, violence, drugs, strong language, rock and roll and Christopher Walken, who appears in one scene for two minutes and yet will somehow still be the first thing you remember.​

---

Yep. All of them have a real-life analogue except the last one. In order, you've got myself, the missus, the first friend I made on the scene, the best friend I have on the scene (also the catalyst for getting me and the missus together), the hottest friend I've got around (also the guitarist I'm trying to finagle playing time with), the film's designated antagonist (although he's a good girl who'd just be turned into a bad guy for the purposes of story telling) and...a drummer I figure could be like some kind of 'It's a Wonderful Life' style guardian angel.

 

[Marguerite01]

I'd fancy one by David Lane who did "Thunderbirds are go"
- just a wee bit more risqué

 

[Primalex]

Director: Orson Wells

PYL: Jason Statham

pyls (in order of appearance):
Melissa Leo
Joan Chen
Lorraine Bracco
Heather Graham
Kirsten Dunst

Dog: George

Villain: Russel Crowe

Score: George Edmonson

Title: You can leave your hat on

 

[ThorkelGriersen]

I dunno... who's the most boring director of the most boring documentaries ever filmed?

I suggest the Hungarian Bela Tarr. His film "Damnation" opens with a 10-12 minute fixed camera shot of coal gondolas slowly creaking across the screen. His newest flic is seven hours long and probably has a five page script. [I haven't seen this one --and probably will not.] And "Damnation" has a song that would definitely win Guy Madden's contest in the movie "The Saddest Song in the World."

For me: Wim Winders. He has done an incredible number of bio-documentaries from "Lightning Over Water" {bio of Nicholas Ray, director of "Rebel Without a Cause" and "Johnny Guitar" among others} to "Buena Vista Social Club."

For a more "universal" view, I would go with Anges Varda or Claire Denis.

 

[ownedsubgal]

some obscure but passionate indie director whose films all end either in violent murder via love, violent suicide via love, or an emotionally damaged and abused but smiling and happy young girl skipping across the street only to be tossed and flipped 20 feet in the air she's hit by a speeding sports car (i actually saw a great russian flick which ended that way).

in other words, it'd have to be a director who didn't care about making money, and who had a very realistic view of the beauty and endless tragedy of life, and how, outside of an asian massage parlor, there is just no fricking such thing as a happy ending.

 

[evesdream]

someone who could integrate cartoon sequences during the sex and courtship scenes.

the movie version of my life would also have a couple of musical numbers, from 1982-1991.

i don't know who, but we'd have to resurrect a master of silent film for the rest of my picture. maybe the guy who did Nosferatu in 1922.

i have no illusions; it would probably bomb at the box office and the book is better.

 

[Marguerite01]

[QUOTE=For me: Wim Winders. He has done an incredible number of bio-documentaries from "Lightning Over Water" {bio of Nicholas Ray, director of "Rebel Without a Cause" and "Johnny Guitar" among others} to "Buena Vista Social Club."

and Wim Wenders also of course did "Wings of desire" (from whence the ghastly Meg Ryan farce "City of angels"was modelled) and also the weirdly subtle "The goalkeeper's fear of the penalty" with the most amazing cinematography. Good choice!

 

[tekgirl]

I'd like Woody Allen to direct my film. He captures real life so accurately in my opinion. And he's been able to mix drama and humor extremely well which is what any life is full of.

The title would be "What Just Happened?" as more often than not this is the question I ask myself almost daily.

Lastly, I'd like to see Amy Adams play me. She doesn't look anything at all like me, but I might as well cast a powerhouse actress. I'd want her to win an oscar!

 

[ThorkelGriersen]

<Highjack>

and Wim Wenders also of course did "Wings of desire" (from whence the ghastly Meg Ryan farce "City of angels"was modelled) and also the weirdly subtle "The goalkeeper's fear of the penalty" with the most amazing cinematography. Good choice!

Thanks.

"Wings of Desire" is my all time number one movie. Wenders has walked away with top honors three times at Cannes beginning with the Palme d'Or at the 1984 Cannes Film Festival for his movie "Paris, Texas," and Best Director for "Wings" in 1987 and part two, "Faraway, So Close" in 1993.

Speaking of remakes, there is a nasty parlor game played in Europe, in which each person names a movie for a Hollywood remake with a cast from hell. I could start with Bergman's "Seventh Seal" with Brad Pitt as the knight Antonius Block and Jim Carry as Jons, the squire.

 

[graceanne]

I don't care, as long as it's not Tim Burton.

 

[Cattypuss]

each person names a movie for a Hollywood remake with a cast from hell

INSPIRED idea for a game! I'm playing it the very next time I get together with a couple of friends.

But the first thing that sprang to mind was 'Withnail and I' with a young Robin Williams as Withnail, a young Dustin Hoffman as I, and John Candy as Monty.

 

[Mz_Cunningham]

If I could choose, I'd take the Coen brothers...Coen, not Cohen, biiiiiiiiig difference. The difference between fargo and garfield the movie

 

[Lilac_Sky]

If I could choose, I'd taken the Coen brothers...Coen, not Cohen, biiiiiiiiig difference. The difference between fargo and garfield the movie

A dark comedy? *nods* yes Mistress, your slave could see that.

 

[Primalex]

I don't care, as long as it's not Tim Burton.