Why do you cry?

I don't cry often. I hate to do it. Makes me feel and look like crap. Most of the time when I do it is because I am in some sort of extreme pain or out of sheer frustration. I am also an empath so that makes it hard. Recently I have been crying because I can feel the emotional pain of someone close to me and there's not a thing I can do about it. So... Frustration.
 
I miss crying. My new antidepressant makes it hard for me to cry, even in situations that normally bring me to tears.

Like this new relationship, this new love. He can’t move me to tears and it scares me.

This adorable human, this unusually kind, thoughtful man. He tells me his truth. Says he wants me. Likes me. Misses me. And I believe him.

He calls me by my name. Calls me baby. Calls and asks me questions. Calls me.

He wants to know how I feel.

He kisses my face. And rubs my belly. And sends me flowers.

No matter the unthinkable pleasure, the unspeakable joy, I cannot cry. Do not cry.

I’m more even now, more neutral now, more normal now. But, am I better?

I don’t know.

I miss the releif. The release. The sweet, sad girl so in love with love it spilled out from her eyes and ran down her face.


You made me cry, if that's any consolation.

:rose::rose::rose:
 
You made me cry, if that's any consolation.

:rose::rose::rose:

Shuddap you girl.

I'm a guy, I just want to help, but I'm aware of the catharism of crying.

When I feel I need it, I flat out force it. Not by trying to cry, but certain films to do it.
 
Sometime because he not here to do and see all the cool things like concerts, spring, rockets going up, friends getting married, babies, cons, music, the dumb stuff...

Not being able to heal my brother, although if sheer force of will can heal him, I can do that.
 
I miss my psychotic features. At least when I thought I was being watched and followed and heard and seen by benevolent forces it felt like I was chosen. Like there was something truly noteworthy and special and worthwhile about me. Something worth seeing and noticing. Now I'm just another plainly ordinary practically invisible sad middle aged woman with virtually no distinguishing features. It feels like a loss to me. I'm lonely without them. My delusions are always imaginary people who love me so much they follow me around and send me secret messages to help me improve and learn and see and grow. Now I'm just all alone without them all the time.
 
I miss my psychotic features. At least when I thought I was being watched and followed and heard and seen by benevolent forces it felt like I was chosen. Like there was something truly noteworthy and special and worthwhile about me. Something worth seeing and noticing. Now I'm just another plainly ordinary practically invisible sad middle aged woman with virtually no distinguishing features. It feels like a loss to me. I'm lonely without them. My delusions are always imaginary people who love me so much they follow me around and send me secret messages to help me improve and learn and see and grow. Now I'm just all alone without them all the time.

I often feel that I was a much more interesting person when my life was all fucked up. I love my life now, but sometimes I want to be bad, just to feel that sense of "no fucks given" freedom that came from living outside the bounds of :decent society".

By the way, I am glad you got some vicarious pleasure from my crying. ;) I get a perverse feeling of joy when people tell that they cried from something I wrote. (And the next chapter of Mary and Alvin has a real tearjerker ending heh heh,)

And your av is lovely.
 
I miss my psychotic features. At least when I thought I was being watched and followed and heard and seen by benevolent forces it felt like I was chosen. Like there was something truly noteworthy and special and worthwhile about me. Something worth seeing and noticing. Now I'm just another plainly ordinary practically invisible sad middle aged woman with virtually no distinguishing features. It feels like a loss to me. I'm lonely without them. My delusions are always imaginary people who love me so much they follow me around and send me secret messages to help me improve and learn and see and grow. Now I'm just all alone without them all the time.

I often feel that I was a much more interesting person when my life was all fucked up. I love my life now, but sometimes I want to be bad, just to feel that sense of "no fucks given" freedom that came from living outside the bounds of :decent society".

By the way, I am glad you got some vicarious pleasure from my crying. ;) I get a perverse feeling of joy when people tell that they cried from something I wrote. (And the next chapter of Mary and Alvin has a real tearjerker ending heh heh,)

And your av is lovely.
Whomever you are, you're still that person inside. Part of you always remains. Embrace it. Relish it. Keep it to yourself if you must. Don't let it consume you.

Personal demons can be like that. You either defeat them or learn to live w/them.

2 songs come to mind: "Don't Cry Out Loud"-Anne Murray version and "Hit The Road Jack".

If you'll excuse me, I have some dragons to slay.
 
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Things that are poignant make me howl like a little bitch. Animal rescues, beautiful things people do for each other, sorrow turning into happiness.
 
This song.

U2 - Running to Stand Still

Lyrics:

And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was
Lying still
Said I gotta do something
About where we're going

Step on a steam train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night
Singing ha, ah la la la de day
Ah la la la de day
Ah la la de day

Sweet the sin
Bitter taste in my mouth
I see seven towers
But I only see one way out

You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice


You know I took the poison
From the poison stream
Then I floated out of here
Singing...ha la la la de day
Ha la la la de day
Ha la la de day

She runs through the streets
With her eyes painted red
Under black belly of cloud in the rain
In through a doorway she brings me
White gold and pearls stolen from the sea
She is raging
She is raging
And the storm blows up in her eyes
She will...

Suffer the needle chill
She's running to stand...

Still.
 
I often feel that I was a much more interesting person when my life was all fucked up. I love my life now, but sometimes I want to be bad, just to feel that sense of "no fucks given" freedom that came from living outside the bounds of :decent society".

By the way, I am glad you got some vicarious pleasure from my crying. ;) I get a perverse feeling of joy when people tell that they cried from something I wrote. (And the next chapter of Mary and Alvin has a real tearjerker ending heh heh,)

I know what you mean. Sometimes I wanna feel “no fucks given” too.

I think that’s why it takes me a few days some times to come back around to these more serious (deeply personal) threads and posts.

Revealing is often freeing, but usually not free. Not in my experience, anyway. It comes at an emotional cost I’m not always ready to pay (feel).

I guess that’s my way of saying I’m sorry that I read this days ago, and only now replied.

Reading you/posting with you is a pleasure. Thank you.
 
I know what you mean. Sometimes I wanna feel “no fucks given” too.

I think that’s why it takes me a few days some times to come back around to these more serious (deeply personal) threads and posts.

Revealing is often freeing, but usually not free. Not in my experience, anyway. It comes at an emotional cost I’m not always ready to pay (feel).

I guess that’s my way of saying I’m sorry that I read this days ago, and only now replied.

Reading you/posting with you is a pleasure. Thank you.

I always look for your posts, dear heart.

Freedom always comes at a price. I lived a period of my life outside of social constraints, and it cost me everything, even freedom itself. I've learned that living is a talent, and like all talents, it must be performed with self discipline and an understanding of technique if it is going to flourish.
 
I cry because I make poor choices. I cry because I'm an idiot. I cry because I feel incredibly deeply.
 
I cry because I make poor choices. I cry because I'm an idiot. I cry because I feel incredibly deeply.
Failure is a stepping stone to success. It's not how many times you fall; it's getting back up that counts.

Life isn't about how hard you can hit. It's about how much you can take it and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!

I've had to learn the hard way. Somewhere along the way, I changed - I stopped being me. When things got tough, I started looking for someone to blame. Don't let that happen to you.

The world's a very nasty and mean place. It will beat you down and keep you there if you let it. Cowards keep looking for excuses and that's not us. You have to believe in yourself or you won't have a life worth living.
 
Sometimes I cry when I remember I’m a 43-year-old unwed childless spinster with two cats few friends and nearly no ability or desire to engage strangers. Everywhere I go there I am. I don’t really want to be alone, but I’m trapped inside my miserable self.

I had to look to see if I wrote this and forgot. I'm also 43, divorced, childless, with two cats. I'm learning to focus on quality of friends over quantity but it's still hard some days when I am studying for exams and seeing photos of people having the time of their lives on social media.

We take one day at a time, and look for the joys in all of the little things. There are joys, Psyche. 🙂

Back on topic, I cry several times a month. Not for long, but it's a release. I work in hospice and there are a lot of emotions for everyone... some good, some not so good. But I wouldn't give it up for anything.
 
Omg. Sad movies or the end of feel good movies. Almost to the point that could be considered embarrassing lol. Probably why I watch them alone.
 
I feel like watching a sad, sad very sad movie I know will make me cry tonight.

It’s been a little while. I could use a release.
 
I feel like watching a sad, sad very sad movie I know will make me cry tonight.

It’s been a little while. I could use a release.

I have cappuccino ice cream. No one cries when you've got cappuccino ice cream from WooHoo.
 
I cry when sad. I cry when happy. I cry when beaten. I cry when loved. See? I'm crying now...
 
When I miss my daughter so much I can't really handle it.
 
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