Why is it? an ethical question and poll

[Noor]

Why is it? an ethical question and poll -you can choose more than one answer

I was wondering why when you make an agreement with someone and they break their side of it, you are still expected to keep up your end?

Or just something as simple as establishing trust, if you enter into an arrangement of what is at the time agreed to be mutual respect and trust, and they violate that trust, do you still feel under any obligation to be trustworthy concerning them?

 

[Noor]

and what about employers? Not confidental information about the company or clients, but other things like they drink, cheat at cards, bounce their employees checks?

 

[hotstake]

Use the mirror?

Deleted.

 

[Noor]

Your reaction defines your standards, not those of the perceived offending party?

Yes, I guess it does, I just always wonder why I must keep my standards? Sometimes I just want to get mean and nasty and throw them out the window.

I also wonder what other people do.

 

[Dstanzler]

Me too

Being nasty seems like it would feel so good. But ultimately its just bad energy. I have this ex gf...

=)

 

[MercyMia]

I'm too pragmatic to say that I would still keep my end of the deal. It really depends on what the deal is, how important it was.

 

[Missingmeds]

I was wondering why when you make an agreement with someone and they break their side of it, you are still expected to keep up your end?

Or just something as simple as establishing trust, if you enter into an arrangement of what is at the time agreed to be mutual respect and trust, and they violate that trust, do you still feel under any obligation to be trustworthy concerning them?

I do expect myself to keep my end of the agreement. I think that is what it is really all about. What are you comfortable doing about it, what are your ethics and morals concerning the agreement? It has nothing to do with what they did at all, it has to do with what do I expect out of me. What am I comfortable doing about the entire situation?

 

[hotstake]

Deleted.

 

[Noor]

Bump?

I would love to get a few more opinions.

 

[Flyin_Free]

I was wondering why when you make an agreement with someone and they break their side of it, you are still expected to keep up your end??

I guess it would depend on what exactly the original agreement was. I'm pretty sure I would still keep my end of the agreement though.

Or just something as simple as establishing trust, if you enter into an arrangement of what is at the time agreed to be mutual respect and trust, and they violate that trust, do you still feel under any obligation to be trustworthy concerning them?

An agreement based on mutual respect and trust-like marriage or commitment? Ya, even if they violated that trust, I'd still feel an obligation to keep up my end until the relationship was over....Why? Because the arrangement I'd made would have been part of who I was -- not just something that was based on them. I wouldn't feel right about me if I did the same thing they did.

 

[Noor]

What if it was something that was something they asked of you, so you agreed?

What if the relationship was over?

 

[Spins]

If you gave your word to another person then you should keep it unless circumstances force you to reveal it to save anothers life. That is the only reason to ever break your word.

Contracts are of a different ilk. Generally they are not done as an interpersonal kind of thing. They are done to ensure the parties act in a specific manor. If that manor is not carried out in the stated manor then the contract is null and void.

That's my view, anyhoo.

 

[Flyin_Free]

What if it was something that was something they asked of you, so you agreed?

What if the relationship was over?

Hmmm, I don't know....it's hard to answer without knowing what you're talking about. Some things do end when the relationship ends. For example, I agreed to love him "forever and ever till death do us part"..... he's not dead, I'm not dead...but the marriage is over and I don't love him anymore. Some promises you just can't keep.

 

[gdgyi]

What was the agreement?

I wonder if I would enter into an agreement if it were not agreed to that if either side 'broke' it, the other side could. The implication of the question is that someone got hurt, but what if breaking the agreement was beneficial to both. It is not a simple situation with a "one answer fits all" solution. Maybe the 'breaking' of the agreement was accidental. Maybe the 'breaking' of the agreement was only in the opinion of the perceiver and not the opinion of the other partner. I guess I would at least need to discuss it with the other person before I would take any action. We might then agree to end the agreement. Whatever, I am not one to try to get even. If it could not be resolved. I am the type to just chalk the whole thing up to experience, walk away glad to be alive and free.

It is more than a hypothetical situation for me. My adult child is at this moment breaking an agreement we have regarding how she is handles her addictions. Now I am faced with some tough decisions. I don't want to enable her. On the other hand I cannot let the situation contine. It is really a simple decision to make. As if often the case, the simple way is not the easy way.

 

[Noor]

If you gave your word to another person then you should keep it unless circumstances force you to reveal it to save anothers life. That is the only reason to ever break your word.

That's a good point.

Contracts are of a different ilk. Generally they are not done as an interpersonal kind of thing. They are done to ensure the parties act in a specific manor. If that manor is not carried out in the stated manor then the contract is null and void.

That's my view, anyhoo.

makes sense.

 

[Hooper_X]

I was wondering why when you make an agreement with someone and they break their side of it, you are still expected to keep up your end?

No. However, I'm not going to invest my time and energy getting even either. I try not to put myself in situations that have a reasonable likelihood of biting me in the ass at some future point. When people prove themselves to be unreliable, I've found that the best course of action--for me--is to unceremoniously wash my hands of them.

 

[Diamond_Girl]

Whether or not someone else acts integritous or not shouldn't change how you act. Your integrity - your reputation - is yours, no one else's. In the end, by being the better person, even if it seems like you're getting punished for it in a sense, will pay off for you.

 

[Spins]

Whether or not someone else acts integritous or not shouldn't change how you act. Your integrity - your reputation - is yours, no one else's. In the end, by being the better person, even if it seems like you're getting punished for it in a sense, will pay off for you.

I have to agree with Diamond here. In the end you have to be comfortable with what you do even if that means getting "punished" in the short term.

I, however, don't agree with the idea that it will pay off later. I'd like to believe that karma or whatever does pay off, but, in my experience, the only satisifaction you will get is from being true to yourself. Don't expect a "pay off" down the road.