why is it that

[Salvor-Hardon]

makes a lot of sense to me


i love this place. where else can i ask a question like this and get real answers??

what pisses me off, I can't figure out the underlying dynamic of WHY that works that way. I can observe the phenomenon and even see it changing, but for the life of me can't see why its changing or why it was to begin with.


I want super powers that let me understand the really freaky stuff.

And was that rose for me?

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

 

[jnubbs]

Inhibition

I'LL tell you why two girls going at turns a guy on. Lesbians tell a guy that a girl is sexually counter cultural. That she is uninhibited and ready for anything. Two soft emotional beautiful creatures going at it is like watching two puppy dogs play, it is endeering...Two guys going at it is like Ultimate Fighting...

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I've been picking at an article about this, triggered by "fan mail" from straight women who are turned on by lesbian porn. Here are some excerpts:

This may be obvious, but I think the answer has to do with the nature of male and female sexuality. Compared to the richness of female sexuality the male version is relatively “impoverished” and one-dimensional. It's almost all about penetration - sticking a penis into one orifice or another - which makes it less interesting.

. . . One straight women said to me: "I think the most boring thing in the world is to watch some guy pound his cock in and out of a woman for 15 minutes on tape. I don't care if he changes positions five times."

To put this into perspective, try a little thought experiment: Imagine a girl-girl porn video focused as much on the clitoris as boy-girl scenes are on the penis. No kissing, hugging, cuddling, neck nuzzling, breast and nipple play, inner thigh and butt caresses. No soft sighs, urgent gasps, tender looks, and intense emotions. Just fingering and licking of clits.

It doesn’t sound very erotic, does it? Female sexuality is fascinating and multi-dimensional because all those other elements are an integral part of it, not just an "add on."

I'm torn about the "female body is more beautiful" thing. On the one hand, I mostly agree, but have second thoughts when contemplating works of art like the David statues by Michelangelo or Donatello.

 

[Liar]

I think the more interresting question is:

Does a straight women react differently to two females sweating it up than a straight man reacts to two males in the act?

The common stereotype tells me that yes, the man will more often be directly turned off or even repulsed, than the woman would. Not talking homophobia or non-tolerance here, just a strong dislike to witness the act.

And why is that?

 

[Liar]

To put this into perspective, try a little thought experiment: Imagine a girl-girl porn video focused as much on the clitoris as boy-girl scenes are on the penis. No kissing, hugging, cuddling, neck nuzzling, breast and nipple play, inner thigh and butt caresses. No soft sighs, urgent gasps, tender looks, and intense emotions. Just fingering and licking of clits.

Sounds like you're comparing bad porn and good porn more than anything else. No need to imagine anything. There are lots of porn like what you described. Just as boring as the boy-girl mototone humping variety.

Otoh, good boy-girl scenes are pretty damn versatile and hot too.



ETA: uh, was that excerpt of yours that I quoted from your article of from the fan-mail?

 

[Guest]

I think the more interresting question is:

Does a straight women react differently to two females sweating it up than a straight man reacts to two males in the act?

The common stereotype tells me that yes, the man will more often be directly turned off or even repulsed, than the woman would. Not talking homophobia or non-tolerance here, just a strong dislike to witness the act.

And why is that?

thats exactly what i wanna know

thanks for rephrasing

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Sounds like you're comparing bad porn and good porn more than anything else. No need to imagine anything. There are lots of porn like what you described. Just as boring as the boy-girl mototone humping variety.

Otoh, good boy-girl scenes are pretty damn versatile and hot too.



ETA: uh, was that excerpt of yours that I quoted from your article of from the fan-mail?

No, that's me, and it's a fair criticism. I was trying to use an extreme example to illustrate the point about "penetration-centric" male sexuality, but as you rightly point out, the example unintentionally showed something else.

 

[Chantilyvamp]

ok i get that. i think.

but what about the gay aspect.

a woman looks at two guys and she thinks "gay" and its a turn off. for men its not like that.

again i'm beng stereotypical but its still kinda true.

Hmmm, for me i see two guys together and i want to join as well, then again i see m/f and want to join and f/f and want to join...ok i'm just way to bi

 

[Remec]

No, because everyone knows damn well which direction you'd be looking!

At the apex of the triangle so she can see both sets at once?

 

[Guest]

Hmmm, for me i see two guys together and i want to join as well, then again i see m/f and want to join and f/f and want to join...ok i'm just way to bi

you taking slut lessons from vana?

 

[Chantilyvamp]

you taking slut lessons from vana?

lol, dont think i really need lessons I think I was born with slut blood even though no one could tell it most of the time but oh boy was the slut there.

But lessons from vana could be tempting

 

[Guest]

bump.

 

[Trombonus]

I'd like to comment, but I like girls, and don't like guys. Kinda defeats the purpose.

 

[impressive]

Hmmm, for me i see two guys together and i want to join as well, then again i see m/f and want to join and f/f and want to join...ok i'm just way to bi

Word.

 

[Guest]

I like looking at beautiful men

Even when there is more than one, and they are ignoring me.

Gay men are cool. There is something in the intimacy they show to each other that is just beautiful.

The world is big enough for everyone.

Isn't it?

Maharat

 

[xssve]

I dunno, I suspect a lot of women don't look at porn period, and if they do, it's probobly through their BF's, husbands, etc., and they probobly wouldn't get exposed to gay porn since... well you know, we're not going to be caught DEAD with that shit, no matter how much it turns you on.

I worked in an adult video store for a while, and gay porn (guys) was extremely popular with lesbians, that's pretty much all they'd get.

 

[xssve]

I'm gonna go look at some lesbian porn! Night.

 

[Belegon]

lol, dont think i really need lessons I think I was born with slut blood even though no one could tell it most of the time but oh boy was the slut there.

sounds familiar to me...

 

[sweetnpetite]

so why's it not the same then for straight women who see two guys together?

well, theirs always the biological argument that men want to plant their seed in as many women as possible (in order to insure survival of the race) and women want 1 man to stick around and help them raise their child (in order to better secure the survival of their own offspring)

or the similer cultural arguement that women want monagomy (sp!) and men want to run around (Ie... for a man, more is better, for a woman, 1 good one is enough)

also, i think theirs a strong cultural bias against gay male sex so that many women automatically think "ick"... not to mention, women are more likely to think of sex/porn ect as "ick" already, culturally speaking. women who do like those things don't tend to admit it because it's not considered propper, it would tend to get the woman ostrasized, shunned or at least critisized. Face it, women still are expected to be more about emotions are relationships than about sex... yeah I think most pple know that women like sex nowdays, but individual women still run a risk if pple think they like it TOO much, particularly anything that might be considered "deviant" where as men are pretty much expected to like things that are "dirty" or "perverted"

I think that if you add societal pressures you get two things:

1)women who don't admit that such things turn them on

2)women who aren't turned on because they are either biased or just don't feel comfortable seeing such things to be able to be turned on by it.

and maybe a lot of women really do only need 1 man. it is still considered to be the romantic ideal as well as the social ideal.

maybe their is also something psychological about it or spiritual like a man's search for the feminine or inabilty to express his own feminine side, while women can more easily express their masculine side... dunno but that could lead to some interesting theories IMO.

 

[sweetnpetite]

I dunno, I suspect a lot of women don't look at porn period, and if they do, it's probobly through their BF's, husbands, etc., and they probobly wouldn't get exposed to gay porn since... well you know, we're not going to be caught DEAD with that shit, no matter how much it turns you on.

I worked in an adult video store for a while, and gay porn (guys) was extremely popular with lesbians, that's pretty much all they'd get.

most les porn is made for straight men as is straight porn. also, only in gay porn do you actually see guys that are good looking. straight porn usually features guys who are not good looking but have big dicks. although, I still am not exactly sure why lesbians would be attracted to gay porn, maybe there is something special about it.

 

[matriarch]

Because, let's face it, the male body is.... errm.. kinda gross.

No offense men, but think hard about the first two guys who pop into your head and think about two girls? You instantly imagine hairy chubby guys, who sigularly might turn you on, but two of them and you get nauseous.


It's the way our mind is programmed.

However:
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/38062556/
You gotta admit that's kinda hot.

But it's a matter of "ideal beauty" over "real beauty" It's hard to explain.



I also think it's on a mental level. You can think of two girls together as just friends or like sisters or such (not incest, you know what i mean) but you see two guys as your uncle and your dad and it's like "ewwwwwww"

...but if those two 'girls', are as old as your grandma, silver haired, crippled with arthritis........what does the image do then? Hmmm?? Or they are both overweight, with greasy hair, spotty skin and bad teeth??? Hmmm???

Let's face it, everyone has ideals in their head when they think of a particular 'type' of person, but when faced with reality, with real dykes and real gay men.....

And personally I am not turned off at all by the sight, thought or reality of gay men. After the 'lesbian' section on Lit, my next favourite is 'gay'. Really.

 

[matriarch]

Even when there is more than one, and they are ignoring me.

Gay men are cool. There is something in the intimacy they show to each other that is just beautiful.

The world is big enough for everyone.

Isn't it?

Maharat

Exactly.
There's more than enough room for all of us.

 

[Belegon]

So I followed the link to the Deviant Art pic...

so, we have the whole "Do girls like gay porn?" thing and this makes me wonder about a related phenomena... slash. This pic, with the brown wild hair boy with glasses and the red haired other boy... hey, I just read the new Harry Potter, can't help but make the connection.

I run across far more M/M slash than any other kind. The first I ever ran across was Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi stuff, but I've seen plenty since. And I see far more of it than I do of alternate pairings that are M/F or F/F.

Any thoughts?

 

[Chantilyvamp]

I dunno, I suspect a lot of women don't look at porn period, and if they do, it's probobly through their BF's, husbands, etc., and they probobly wouldn't get exposed to gay porn since... well you know, we're not going to be caught DEAD with that shit, no matter how much it turns you on.

Not to be mean but I dont think you should assume/suspect anything. In University it was a female hall director that showed us women resident assistant's porn movies as a team building exercise (I was with her when she bought it so I know it didnt come from a male). Also when we had to do room searches the amount of porn in the womens rooms was amazing! In our university house when we moved off campus most of the women had some sort of porn and let me tell you it was all sorts.