Will you Be My Stalker?

[Needfull Thing]

Now taking applications.

 

[bellaitalliana]

isn't it a good idea to list the qualifications you are looking for in a person for noted open position?

 

[RoseArcana]

Haha! *Stalk!*

 

[Needfull Thing]

isn't it a good idea to list the qualifications you are looking for in a person for noted open position?

1. Have a Pulse.

2. Must like playing with knives.

3. Supply Own photographic equipment.

4. Own or have access to creepy serial killer van.

5. Do not have a penis. At least attached.

 

[bellaitalliana]

LMAO

I have no words for this...

1. Have a Pulse.

2. Must like playing with knives.

3. Supply Own photographic equipment.

4. Own or have access to creepy serial killer van.

5. Do not have a penis. At least attached.

 

[RoseArcana]

Well I don't like playing with knives at all. *Ouch*
I also don't own a van, but I used to.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

What is the salary?

 

[Needfull Thing]

Well I don't like playing with knives at all. *Ouch*
I also don't own a van, but I used to.

Seeing as the other candidate seems to have dropped out, you get to interview for the job. So...no knives. But you used to own a van.

Are you adverse to bondage?

 

[Needfull Thing]

What is the salary?

It's more of an internship sorta thing. A study program if you will. But there are fringe benefits.

 

[RoseArcana]

Hmm, I haven't had much experience with bondage, but I'm pretty game for trying new things.

And I agree with PinkTacoKitty..what's the pay rate?

 

[RoseArcana]

Oh internship. Maybe I should read the fine print.

 

[Needfull Thing]

Oh internship. Maybe I should read the fine print.

Don't you wanna know about the fringe benefits?

 

[Pinktacokitty]

It's more of an internship sorta thing. A study program if you will. But there are fringe benefits.

That sounds a lot like the summer between my freshman and sophomore year at UT...

 

[Size13]

That sounds a lot like the summer between my freshman and sophomore year at UT...

ROTFLMAO...

 

[Needfull Thing]

That sounds a lot like the summer between my freshman and sophomore year at UT...

Hey now! Did they cook for you?

I will. I also clean and do the dishes. I even sweep and mop.

I dance around and sing while I do it, lots of golden oldies and romantic ballads. I've been told I give wonderful massages and will give them anytime you like, as well as foot rubs. I also listen very well.

 

[likes2watchU]

Hey now! Did they cook for you?

I will. I also clean and do the dishes. I even sweep and mop.

I dance around and sing while I do it, lots of golden oldies and romantic ballads. I've been told I give wonderful massages and will give them anytime you like, as well as foot rubs. I also listen very well.

Be here in 3 weeks... I should be discharged from the hospital and transitional care by then. You wouldn't happen to be a certified physical therapist as well, hmmm?

 

[RuneBlade]

Hey now! Did they cook for you?

I will. I also clean and do the dishes. I even sweep and mop.

I dance around and sing while I do it, lots of golden oldies and romantic ballads. I've been told I give wonderful massages and will give them anytime you like, as well as foot rubs. I also listen very well.

Not the typical definition of stalking, I must say.

 

[Needfull Thing]

Be here in 3 weeks... I should be discharged from the hospital and transitional care by then. You wouldn't happen to be a certified physical therapist as well, hmmm?

You should read the fine print though, the thing is I will do all those things for as much sex as you can possible have with me on any given daily basis.

(Ironically I WAS a CNA for 3 years)

Not the typical definition of stalking, I must say.

Ssshhh don't say anything man, this way they come to me!

 

[RoseArcana]

Hey now! Did they cook for you?

I will. I also clean and do the dishes. I even sweep and mop.

I dance around and sing while I do it, lots of golden oldies and romantic ballads. I've been told I give wonderful massages and will give them anytime you like, as well as foot rubs. I also listen very well.

Wow! Not your everyday, garden-variety stalker!

 

[Needfull Thing]

Wow! Not your everyday, garden-variety stalker!

Wait...who is stalking whom here?

 

[RoseArcana]

Hmph! Well I'll just take my toys and go home, then! hehehehe

 

[Needfull Thing]

Hmph! Well I'll just take my toys and go home, then! hehehehe

You brought TOYS!? wait...were you gonna use em on me or me on you or,...

I'm confused. But stay, you're pretty.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

You brought TOYS!? wait...were you gonna use em on me or me on you or,...

I'm confused. But stay, you're pretty.

WOW, you may be too smooth for your own good.........

 

[likes2watchU]

You should read the fine print though, the thing is I will do all those things for as much sex as you can possible have with me on any given daily basis.

(Ironically I WAS a CNA for 3 years)



Ssshhh don't say anything man, this way they come to me!

I'm good with the fine print... it's only a knee... and the more PT the stronger it gets

Wait...who is stalking whom here?

Look, bub, you set this up and have all the fine print in, well, print
Seems like you'll have some hard choices to make
(Don't worry ~ I have a steady day job and NO plans to hit the comedy circuit)

 

[Needfull Thing]

WOW, you may be too smooth for your own good.........

As I said in another thread, attractive women turn me into Forrest Gump.

"Jennay...would you like a doctorr pepperr? I like popcoorrn."