Women of Lit: A Safe Place To Share

[Strixaluco]

Isn't The Playground under Literotica Personals? From what I've seen that's not an area I want to hang out in very often. Do what you want, and I'll give it a chance, but if it goes sideways, I'm bailing. Sorry.

It is easy to follow a thread without hanging otherwise on the area - that's what I've been doing now, as General Board is generally a place I don't find worth spending time on.

I am almost exclusively on the Playground, and people are friendly there, mean speech is not accepted there. I've found (platonic) friends and my online home there. And I'm indeed not searching for company.

 

[RaineDrops]

Try not to get too emotionally attached to the people you do connect with, too quickly. This is my problem. As IRL, I fall really quickly for girls I've just met, the girls that message me on here, and seem genuine I also crush on.

I think its a genuine need to feel wanted, it let's me down a lot as I try to see the good in people. But, on here, just IRL they have ulterior motives, or just aren't as serious as you hope/want them to be.

Getting emotionally attached has been an ongoing problem with me here and IRL. I have tried to get better at it but with limited success. I have accepted that’s who I am though and to not let it bother me.

 

[stickygirl]

Isn't The Playground under Literotica Personals? From what I've seen that's not an area I want to hang out in very often. Do what you want, and I'll give it a chance, but if it goes sideways, I'm bailing. Sorry.

I've joined a few threads in the Playground without realising where it was. I'm easy and if it can be moderated by our gorgeous @ToPleaseHim then lets give it a go... y'all

Dagnabbit I've done me some rough camping, Katie Brown, and found me some varmits a' scritchin ma britches but I'd rather cuddle up with you under feathers than stars.

 

[SofiaLaFrench]

I've joined a few threads in the Playground without realising where it was. I'm easy and if it can be moderated by our gorgeous @ToPleaseHim then lets give it a go... y'all

Dagnabbit I've done me some rough camping, Katie Brown, and found me some varmits a' scritchin ma britches but I'd rather cuddle up with you under feathers than stars.

I’m almost exclusively on this thread and in the AH Forum. I’ve occasionally wandered into F&S, and dipped my toes at BDSM. I’m just concerned that more visibility means more creeps. Can @ToPleaseHim police it well enough? And why can’t I see their forum profile?

 

[stickygirl]

I’m almost exclusively on this thread and in the AH Forum. I’ve occasionally wandered into F&S, and dipped my toes at BDSM. I’m just concerned that more visibility means more creeps. Can @ToPleaseHim police it well enough? And why can’t I see their forum profile?

I used to be in the AH quite a bit, but it's changed, or else I have. I've known ToPleaseH for some time and always received prompt response and back up from her when I've asked for it in LGBTQ+

I'm going to abstain from voting on this because
1. So far I've put any men who've posted in this thread on iggy and that's an end to that problem ( for me at least )
2. Newbs tend to gravitate to the GB first and only discover the Playground later, because it is so well hidden.
3. There are creeps everywhere.

 

[InCNCestBangPie]

Good morning all. I just wanted to say that I love this place and wishing everyone a lovely weekend.

And I love that you love it. Good Morning to you too, beautiful. Thank you for the weekend wishes. I hope you very thoroughly enjoy your weekend. Do something just to celebrate yourself. Even if it's just buying yourself dessert from your favorite restaurant. You owe it to yourself to remember how special you are !

 

[InCNCestBangPie]

Well, when the change happens, this bunny is going to retreat to her burrow and watch for a while. Maybe having a Mod will be worth it? IDK. I hope to feel comfortable coming back at some point.

Lil , you will always be welcomed back here with open arms. We'll keep the smell of your favorite scent wafting against the backdrop of your favorite color while we jump up and down with excitement for your first message back.

 

[InCNCestBangPie]

Getting emotionally attached has been an ongoing problem with me here and IRL. I have tried to get better at it but with limited success. I have accepted that’s who I am though and to not let it bother me.

Good for you! Huggies! I love that you came to that conclusion. Obviously, still be wise and cautious about who you give your heart to.
But yes, after much introspection, this is something I had to come to terms with too. I think maybe 5 yrs ago or so, I had to just accept that this is how God made me. I care about people and I care very deeply. Does it suck sometimes and lead to disappointments? Oh absolutely. Is it something that I can readily turn off though? Nope. And I've tried, lol.
It doesn't have to even apply to a romantic relationship. With my regular friendships, I want the very best for them, in every way possible. It's a very deep desire. So, when they don't show love the way that I show love, that's okay. They're not me. I can't expect anyone to love the exact way that I do. Being profoundly empathetic and loving is how I am wired and it's just another part that I have to embrace on my journey of respecting myself.

 

[SofiaLaFrench]

Lil , you will always be welcomed back here with open arms. We'll keep the smell of your favorite scent wafting against the backdrop of your favorite color while we jump up and down with excitement for your first message back.

Thank you, I truly appreciate that. My anxiety was already on simmer this morning. This feels like my home is being picked up from the farm and moved to the big city. There's a reason I live in a rural area...people. My brain says it will be fine, change can be good, and that I need to ignore what's happening around me and focus on what I can control. Then my bunny wants to bolt. I understand it's potentially for the greater good, so more women can find us and feel the love and camaraderie like we do. I'll try not to fully retreat, maybe sit by my burrow with ears up and nose twitching.

 

[RaineDrops]

And I love that you love it. Good Morning to you too, beautiful. Thank you for the weekend wishes. I hope you very thoroughly enjoy your weekend. Do something just to celebrate yourself. Even if it's just buying yourself dessert from your favorite restaurant. You owe it to yourself to remember how special you are !

Good for you! Huggies! I love that you came to that conclusion. Obviously, still be wise and cautious about who you give your heart to.
But yes, after much introspection, this is something I had to come to terms with too. I think maybe 5 yrs ago or so, I had to just accept that this is how God made me. I care about people and I care very deeply. Does it suck sometimes and lead to disappointments? Oh absolutely. Is it something that I can readily turn off though? Nope. And I've tried, lol.
It doesn't have to even apply to a romantic relationship. With my regular friendships, I want the very best for them, in every way possible. It's a very deep desire. So, when they don't show love the way that I show love, that's okay. They're not me. I can't expect anyone to love the exact way that I do. Being profoundly empathetic and loving is how I am wired and it's just another part that I have to embrace on my journey of respecting myself.

Thank you. I appreciate it. Yes, I didn’t necessarily mean romantic or sexual relationships. I’m wired that way when it comes to family, friends, and co-workers as well. -hugs-

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Just throwing this out here, no need to accept, but please let me know if you would like this thread moved to a forum where a moderator could help. (Like when an idiot like @Giftboy decides to barge in and throw a lame insult, a mod could actually remove the drivel and prevent him from posting in the thread again). Maybe the How To forum or the Playground? The HT forum is very slow moving which could limit new women finding the thread, although the thread staying active would keep it at the top of the list and actually on the main page. The Playground is very active, more active than the GB, so the thread could draw troll behavior there (although easy to remove). Let me know if there’s any interest (@InCNCestBangPie)

I never would have found this thread if it was in the Playground. I’ve always avoided that forum because it felt like a club where I didn’t know anyone.

 

[Strixaluco]

I never would have found this thread if it was in the Playground. I’ve always avoided that forum because it felt like a club where I didn’t know anyone.

And then again it's a miracle I found this, despite their placement in GB...

Originally it took me like 2 days to feel belonging in some PG threads as a newbie on the forum. You just go into a thread and say hello, and they take you in (that doesn't apply to people that behave nasty - those are chased away).

 

[neci]

I never would have found this thread if it was in the Playground. I’ve always avoided that forum because it felt like a club where I didn’t know anyone.

i wouldn’t have either. you get trolls on the GB, but you don’t get the quantity of random pms and mouth breathers here, mods or no mods.
sad to see the thread leave. oh well.

 

[neci]

I am gonna post here, it’s supposed to be a safe place.
…
Anyhow I am thinking of getting some professional help....

having someone to talk to is a wonderful thing. if you are thinking it may help you, you should just bite the bullet and do it. relationships, dynamics, partners, sex drive, all of it, evolves and changes and having someone in your corner to help you work through is worth it. you are worth it.

 

[neci]

Ya it's tough to ask a friend how she feels, ya I am cooking supper husband watching porn, pussies on the couch and beautiful women, how do you handle it?

i would probably snap and say some shit, and that’s why i am not a professional. cooking dinner!? wtf? cyber pussy won’t cook your meals, no matter how pretty the cookie.

 

[neci]

i just had a long conversation with the child last night about respect and boundaries in relationships. they are dealing with people in their life who show no respect and have been downright rude and mean when visiting. i’m having to look at how i model that for them. it can be hard to speak up for yourself and set boundaries and ask for respect. patterns become ingrained and harder to change the older and more stuck in our ways we get, but it’s never too late to speak up for yourself.

 

[Yesok1]

i would probably snap and say some shit, and that’s why i am not a professional. cooking dinner!? wtf? cyber pussy won’t cook your meals, no matter how pretty the cookie.

@Sweetdreams71 I'm glad you are going to speak to a professional. He has taken you for granted, and his treatment of you has been bitterly unfair.

Next time cook your own dinner, wash your own clothes and when questions it, ask if you are a partnership and what does he contribute.

If I could hug you I would. So I send a heart instead. This is a nice thread where you can speak your mind. So many people here are kind and caring.

 

[RaineDrops]

I am gonna post here, its supposed to be a safe place.
Married for 25+ years. Husband had playboy magazine and occasionally rented the odd movie. I never watched porn...I read novels.
Had kids and then some mental problems and health problems. Didn't like husband to much for a few years, I was very busy being a mom, cook, cleaner and working... I will put a lot of blame on a medical procedure.
Anyhow I decided to let him buy me some lingerie and we started getting our sex life back.
It was a regular thing for him to go watch porn for a couple hours in the evenings.
One day I went through his phone, I looked at what he looked at for hours a day. All the beautiful amazing women....the comments to them. How he can watch them for hours....
Since this I have been broken, and I will blame partially blame menopause. I did not know this side of my husband and did not know this part of the person whom I married.
I used to be a confident proud independent women, now I am a mess and my confidence has been shattered. It's been a year, and I am still not sure of what I want. I find it hard to cry..
It's really hard to know he is in the bedroom looking at beautiful women all the time whilst I do dishes....
Anyhow I am thinking of getting some professional help....

Thank you for sharing. You are not alone to experience this, and definitely not alone here. There's no reason you cannot believe again that you are a proud independent woman. It is easy to blame ourselves even if it is not our fault. I'm sorry, but glad you are thinking of getting professional help. -hugs-

 

[Strixaluco]

I am gonna post here, its supposed to be a safe place.
Married for 25+ years. Husband had playboy magazine and occasionally rented the odd movie. I never watched porn...I read novels.
Had kids and then some mental problems and health problems. Didn't like husband to much for a few years, I was very busy being a mom, cook, cleaner and working... I will put a lot of blame on a medical procedure.
Anyhow I decided to let him buy me some lingerie and we started getting our sex life back.
It was a regular thing for him to go watch porn for a couple hours in the evenings.
One day I went through his phone, I looked at what he looked at for hours a day. All the beautiful amazing women....the comments to them. How he can watch them for hours....
Since this I have been broken, and I will blame partially blame menopause. I did not know this side of my husband and did not know this part of the person whom I married.
I used to be a confident proud independent women, now I am a mess and my confidence has been shattered. It's been a year, and I am still not sure of what I want. I find it hard to cry...
It's really hard to know he is in the bedroom looking at beautiful women all the time whilst I do dishes....
Anyhow I am thinking of getting some professional help....

Sweetie, you deserve better than that. Fairer than that.
Fairer division of homework. Better treatment.

did not know this side of my husband

Oh you're not alone in this either. Partly we never know each other 100%. Partly we changeaand grow apart. And some people actively try to conceal stuff.

Finding a professional sounds like a good start

 

[ToPleaseHim]

i wouldn’t have either. you get trolls on the GB, but you don’t get the quantity of random pms and mouth breathers here, mods or no mods.
sad to see the thread leave. oh well.

This is a very valid point. I sent a PM to the OP after reading your post. I think there are pros and cons to each forum, but I do think you’re right that there is a greater chance of men randomly sending horny and/or “nice guy” PMs on the Playground.

 

[stickygirl]

This is a very valid point. I sent a PM to the OP after reading your post. I think there are pros and cons to each forum, but I do think you’re right that there is a greater chance of men randomly sending horny and/or “nice guy” PMs on the Playground.

Sounds like the jury has made its decision, but thank you for your offer which I know was kindly meant .
The bigger picture is that we're discussing where to post, safe from creepy men in the first place.

 

[vagrantx]

Originally it took me like 2 days to feel belonging in some PG threads as a newbie on the forum. You just go into a thread and say hello, and they take you in (that doesn't apply to people that behave nasty - those are chased away).

I'd just like to second this.

When I started hanging out on the forums a few months ago, it was in the Authors Hangout to possibly get some pointers and help with my writing, but quickly found that the AH has little to do with actual writing.

Disenchanted by the forum I looked around on the New Posts section, and by pure chance I miss clicked a link and ended up in the Playground. It's been a few months since then and I've made some friends I even talk to outside of Lit.

I've shared my art there. My outfits. My body. My voice. Even my face. Never once have I been creeped on by Playgrounders. Sure there's the odd PM from men but they've been nothing but respectful, especially after noting that I'm gay. It's truly a little island of wonderful people, and, if anyone wants to pop in and say hello we'd all be happy to have you.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Sounds like the jury has made its decision, but thank you for your offer which I know was kindly meant .
The bigger picture is that we're discussing where to post, safe from creepy men in the first place.

I do think it would be a more true safe place if the thread could be moderated. Each forum really does have its pros and cons. I haven’t done any analysis, but the PG does seem to be a lot more active than the GB in recent years. And the GB seems…friendlier than it once was? I’m not sure that’s the right word, but some of the bite is gone. Going back just a handful of years, I can’t even imagine how a thread with “safe space” in the title would have been received. Depending on the opening poster, that thread could have been respected or seriously disrespected. I was a bit nervous when I saw the thread title for the first time here in the GB, but I am really glad to see it be mostly left to be a positive and safe place for women to share.

And to echo something said above, there are definitely creeps in every forum.

Edited to add: And thanks for the positive note there. I definitely only had good intentions here. I’d love to be able to more than roll my eyes at the men who feel entitled enough to jump in here.

 

[v_indigo]

I do think it would be a more true safe place if the thread could be moderated. Each forum really does have its pros and cons. I haven’t done any analysis, but the PG does seem to be a lot more active than the GB in recent years. And the GB seems…friendlier than it once was? I’m not sure that’s the right word, but some of the bite is gone. Going back just a handful of years, I can’t even imagine how a thread with “safe space” in the title would have been received. Depending on the opening poster, that thread could have been respected or seriously disrespected. I was a bit nervous when I saw the thread title for the first time here in the GB, but I am really glad to see it be mostly left to be a positive and safe place for women to share.

And to echo something said above, there are definitely creeps in every forum.

Edited to add: And thanks for the positive note there. I definitely only had good intentions here. I’d love to be able to more than roll my eyes at the men who feel entitled enough to jump in here.

The GB is so much slower and low key than it was before. I wonder if this has anything to do with the politics board?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

The GB is so much slower and low key than it was before. I wonder if this has anything to do with the politics board?

Possibly. I (like so many) was very much against splitting the board when it happened, but now I do find that I appreciate that the extreme vitriol is more contained.