Women of Lit: A Safe Place To Share

You too?! I swear my mom has a thing for Deacon. He has that dominant attitude going for him, which is the opposite of my dad. Every time we visit them she gets giggly and touchy, like she’s on a date with a new beau! He laughs about and says one woman from my family is enough for him. He does his best to politely discourage her.

I do not have that problem with my mom. She thinks my Hubby is cute but too thin. Now, my FIL is a different story. He's not burly like my dad, but he's not slender like my Hubby. I've seen my mother flirt with him. It's just a little, and she'd deny it, but I know what I've seen. 🙄
 
So, on the heels of discussing my extremely awkward sex talk with mom, I have another thing that just happened that seems weird to me. A couple days ago, My ex-girlfriend sent a wedding invite to me and Hubby. She's also asked our mutual friend Misty, also her ex, to be a bridesmaid.

Now, that would seem weird to me on its own, but it's much more complicated than that. My ex and I had a threesome with my current FWB Misty when Misty was first dating my ex, who I was still with at the time too. My ex then broke up with me because she wanted a full time relationship, which I could not give her. She and Misty were together for a while, then they broke up. My ex then hooked up with this guy who we had both worked with and who I had a big thing for back when I thought my polyamory would include men as well as women. Yeah, it's was fucking soap opera for a bit. 🙄 Oh, I almost forgot to mention that my ex and I had two threesomes with Hubby. So, yeah... complicated.

Anyway, Misty has agreed to be a bridesmaid (and told me this is the second of her ex lovers who have asked her to be a bridesmaid), but I don't think Hubby and I will attend. It just seems so weird. I would never have wanted anyone I had fucked at my wedding (other than Hubby, of course 😉). Misty tells me I'm being a prude and that it's not a big deal for people her age. What do you all think?

Edited to add that Hubby also thinks it is weird, but has said he'll go if I want to. I think he's hoping I won't want to go, however. He also asked me if it would be as weird if Misty asked me to be at her wedding if she ever gets married, as unlikely as that is given her view of marriage. And the answer is I don't know. That would seem weird to me too, although not as bad since Misty and I are friends first with the benefits being second. I don't know. 🤷‍♀️
 
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What do you all think?
Now, I could imagine inviting one of my exes, pretty being invited by him (though not very likely, unless it was a wedding with plenty of dancers). It's not awkward between us. And I know that in small circles it can easily happen. Weird stuff can happen.

But as you find it awkward, you of course don't need any other reason to decline the invitation.
 
But as you find it awkward, you of course don't need any other reason to decline the invitation.
Almost exactly what Hubby said. But it's my anxiety at work, making me as worried about saying no as going. I keep thinking people will think what Misty does, that I'm being prudish. But the truth is I doubt anyone but Misty, Hubby, my Ex, and I will know the story anyway (unless she's told her fiance). Still...

It could also be my lack of sleep that's getting me right now. I've only had about two hours, and that wasn't continuous, because Twin B is fussy.
 
Almost exactly what Hubby said. But it's my anxiety at work, making me as worried about saying no as going. I keep thinking people will think what Misty does, that I'm being prudish. But the truth is I doubt anyone but Misty, Hubby, my Ex, and I will know the story anyway (unless she's told her fiance). Still...

It could also be my lack of sleep that's getting me right now. I've only had about two hours, and that wasn't continuous, because Twin B is fussy.
So you're stressing because you think by not attending you might offend someone or they might think you're a prude? What do you want, for heavens sake?! Don't worry about their feelings and be nice to yourself instead.
IMHO it sounds like a social car crash! Do they still ask "Is there any reason why this couple may not be lawfully married?" because you could all be there some time explaining!

I tell you want - why don't you and hubby go out somewhere for the day, have a nice meal and chill?
You're welcome and that'll be 5c :) :rose:
 
So you're stressing because you think by not attending you might offend someone or they might think you're a prude? What do you want, for heavens sake?!
This too is similar to what my husband said. But that's the way my mind works sometimes.

Okay. What I want is ... I don't want to go.

Of course, I will second guess that and go back and forth all the way up until the day, which is almost three fucking months away, and in the end stick with the decision above despite all my agonizing. And yes, I should be able to stop myself from agonizing about it because I fucking know how it's going to go, but I won't be able to, because that's who I am.

Fuck, I need some sleep... 😢
 
This too is similar to what my husband said. But that's the way my mind works sometimes.

Okay. What I want is ... I don't want to go.

Of course, I will second guess that and go back and forth all the way up until the day, which is almost three fucking months away, and in the end stick with the decision above despite all my agonizing. And yes, I should be able to stop myself from agonizing about it because I fucking know how it's going to go, but I won't be able to, because that's who I am.

Fuck, I need some sleep... 😢
Well done :heart:
Here's the mantra for you
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"But as you find it awkward, you of course don't need any other reason to decline the invitation."
May I elaborate on this a little? OP, you don't even need a reason. Just like "no" is a complete sentence, so is "I just don't want to".

I only say this because sometimes we tend to think that if we don't have a "good" enough reason to say no, then we shouldn't. Fuck that. You don't have to justify your answer with a reason. You don't want to go. So don't go.

Good luck!
 
May I elaborate on this a little? OP, you don't even need a reason. Just like "no" is a complete sentence, so is "I just don't want to".
I agree - you especially don't need to give them a reason.

The reason is more of an internal thing. What point is there to go if you're not even enjoying it? Someone not being in the mood doesn't make it festive for others either.
 
Y'all must have had sleep, because you're being really reasonable. Maybe I will be too after tonight. I'm going to bed as soon as Hubby is home from work. ,💤💤💤
 
Here’s my take on this. Unless you two are still close, like hang out together all the time close, then she has some ulterior motive for inviting you. You dont need to play into whatever drama she wants to create.
You answered your own question. Decline the invite.
 
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