Women of Lit: A Safe Place To Share

[FrenchLopBunny]

Nope. Not a chance. Never.

I am the Super Fellatrix, but talking to my mom about sex is my kryptonite.

I was just teasing. I would never talk to my mom about my sex life OR hers!

 

[JennyCapricorn]

Girl, you should have pulled out a dildo and given her a lesson. You ARE the Super Fellatrix, aren’t you? Who better to teach her!

I cannot write the word “NO” in a large enough font.

 

[FrenchLopBunny]

I cannot write the word “NO” in a large enough font.

Error 404: That font does not exist!

 

[lil_jenni]

So, on the heels of discussing my extremely awkward sex talk with mom, I have another thing that just happened that seems weird to me. A couple days ago, My ex-girlfriend sent a wedding invite to me and Hubby. She's also asked our mutual friend Misty, also her ex, to be a bridesmaid.

Now, that would seem weird to me on its own, but it's much more complicated than that. My ex and I had a threesome with my current FWB Misty when Misty was first dating my ex, who I was still with at the time too. My ex then broke up with me because she wanted a full time relationship, which I could not give her. She and Misty were together for a while, then they broke up. My ex then hooked up with this guy who we had both worked with and who I had a big thing for back when I thought my polyamory would include men as well as women. Yeah, it's was fucking soap opera for a bit. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that my ex and I had two threesomes with Hubby. So, yeah... complicated.

Anyway, Misty has agreed to be a bridesmaid (and told me this is the second of her ex lovers who have asked her to be a bridesmaid), but I don't think Hubby and I will attend. It just seems so weird. I would never have wanted anyone I had fucked at my wedding (other than Hubby, of course ). Misty tells me I'm being a prude and that it's not a big deal for people her age. What do you all think?

Edited to add that Hubby also thinks it is weird, but has said he'll go if I want to. I think he's hoping I won't want to go, however. He also asked me if it would be as weird if Misty asked me to be at her wedding if she ever gets married, as unlikely as that is given her view of marriage. And the answer is I don't know. That would seem weird to me too, although not as bad since Misty and I are friends first with the benefits being second. I don't know.

 

[Strixaluco]

What do you all think?

Now, I could imagine inviting one of my exes, pretty being invited by him (though not very likely, unless it was a wedding with plenty of dancers). It's not awkward between us. And I know that in small circles it can easily happen. Weird stuff can happen.

But as you find it awkward, you of course don't need any other reason to decline the invitation.

 

[lil_jenni]

But as you find it awkward, you of course don't need any other reason to decline the invitation.

Almost exactly what Hubby said. But it's my anxiety at work, making me as worried about saying no as going. I keep thinking people will think what Misty does, that I'm being prudish. But the truth is I doubt anyone but Misty, Hubby, my Ex, and I will know the story anyway (unless she's told her fiance). Still...

It could also be my lack of sleep that's getting me right now. I've only had about two hours, and that wasn't continuous, because Twin B is fussy.

 

[stickygirl]

Almost exactly what Hubby said. But it's my anxiety at work, making me as worried about saying no as going. I keep thinking people will think what Misty does, that I'm being prudish. But the truth is I doubt anyone but Misty, Hubby, my Ex, and I will know the story anyway (unless she's told her fiance). Still...

It could also be my lack of sleep that's getting me right now. I've only had about two hours, and that wasn't continuous, because Twin B is fussy.

So you're stressing because you think by not attending you might offend someone or they might think you're a prude? What do you want, for heavens sake?! Don't worry about their feelings and be nice to yourself instead.
IMHO it sounds like a social car crash! Do they still ask "Is there any reason why this couple may not be lawfully married?" because you could all be there some time explaining!

I tell you want - why don't you and hubby go out somewhere for the day, have a nice meal and chill?
You're welcome and that'll be 5c

 

[lil_jenni]

So you're stressing because you think by not attending you might offend someone or they might think you're a prude? What do you want, for heavens sake?!

This too is similar to what my husband said. But that's the way my mind works sometimes.

Okay. What I want is ... I don't want to go.

Of course, I will second guess that and go back and forth all the way up until the day, which is almost three fucking months away, and in the end stick with the decision above despite all my agonizing. And yes, I should be able to stop myself from agonizing about it because I fucking know how it's going to go, but I won't be able to, because that's who I am.

Fuck, I need some sleep...

 

[blulilacgrl]

"But as you find it awkward, you of course don't need any other reason to decline the invitation."

May I elaborate on this a little? OP, you don't even need a reason. Just like "no" is a complete sentence, so is "I just don't want to".

I only say this because sometimes we tend to think that if we don't have a "good" enough reason to say no, then we shouldn't. Fuck that. You don't have to justify your answer with a reason. You don't want to go. So don't go.

Good luck!

 

[Strixaluco]

May I elaborate on this a little? OP, you don't even need a reason. Just like "no" is a complete sentence, so is "I just don't want to".

I agree - you especially don't need to give them a reason.

The reason is more of an internal thing. What point is there to go if you're not even enjoying it? Someone not being in the mood doesn't make it festive for others either.

 

[lil_jenni]

Y'all must have had sleep, because you're being really reasonable. Maybe I will be too after tonight. I'm going to bed as soon as Hubby is home from work. ,

 

[FrenchLopBunny]

Here’s my take on this. Unless you two are still close, like hang out together all the time close, then she has some ulterior motive for inviting you. You dont need to play into whatever drama she wants to create.
You answered your own question. Decline the invite.

 

[stickygirl]

Y'all must have had sleep, because you're being really reasonable. Maybe I will be too after tonight. I'm going to bed as soon as Hubby is home from work. ,

Never easy to be objective to your own problems. It’s what friends are for… and they hold your hair when you throw up in the can

 

[JennyCapricorn]

This too is similar to what my husband said. But that's the way my mind works sometimes.

Okay. What I want is ... I don't want to go.

Of course, I will second guess that and go back and forth all the way up until the day, which is almost three fucking months away, and in the end stick with the decision above despite all my agonizing. And yes, I should be able to stop myself from agonizing about it because I fucking know how it's going to go, but I won't be able to, because that's who I am.

Fuck, I need some sleep...

It’s like Im hearing this in my own voice from inside my head.

And hubby would tell me to not go. Just like Im telling you to not go.

Trust my age and wisdom on this one.

 

[genzsub]

What do you all think?

I know I'm a little late to this party, but I had to convey a personal story. I was the maid of honor at my ex's wedding. Let me put this into perspective. This woman was my first. My first love, first lover, first domme, first...everything! I was at the time and, if I'm honest, still madly in love with her. We had been separated due to circumstances but were still good friends and still talking all the time when she met this guy. I was, honestly, happy for her. That didn't make it any easier. It was the absolute toughest thing I have ever had to do. Looking happy for three days before the wedding during the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, and the preparations, when all I wanted to do was curl up and cry.

But she was my best friend. We had been inseparable for years before we got together and were still best friends right up until the wedding. There really wasn't anyone else who was closer to her and it would have looked awful (and maybe suspicious) if I hadn't been her MoH. When the ceremony came, I lost it and barely held it together.

I would like to say that I was fine with it and just happy for her, and I am, but it also hurt - a lot. Like others have pointed out for your situation, I should have declined. It took me months to get over that pain and go back to a somewhat normal relationship with her.

@lil_jenni, I wouldn't blame you for skipping the wedding if you still have any romantic feelings for this woman at all. Nobody should have to go through that if they don't want to.

 

[JennyCapricorn]

.

@lil_jenni, I wouldn't blame you for skipping the wedding if you still have any romantic feelings for this woman at all. Nobody should have to go through that if they don't want to.

<hugs so tight>

 

[stickygirl]

Sorry, but I can't help thinking of this moment here

 

[JennyCapricorn]

Such a good movie

 

[genzsub]

Sorry, but I can't help thinking of this moment here

I really liked these books but I almost didn't read any more after Teddy didn't marry Jo.

 

[Strixaluco]

I was, honestly, happy for her. That didn't make it any easier. It was the absolute toughest thing I have ever had to do. Looking happy for three days before the wedding during the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, and the preparations, when all I wanted to do was curl up and cry.

Disclaimer: didn't notice the text, have no idea what it means...

 

[stickygirl]

View attachment 2514555
Disclaimer: didn't notice the text, have no idea what it means...

'calm down, don't cry' - it's Polish

 

[stickygirl]

Such a good movie

I've been looking at snippets on YT. Dammit, I'll have to watch the whole thing again. I should have enough tissues...

 

[JennyCapricorn]

I've been looking at snippets on YT. Dammit, I'll have to watch the whole thing again. I should have enough tissues...

There are never enough tissues.

 

[Strixaluco]

'calm down, don't cry' - it's Polish

Hmph. Of course it didn't fit, I wouldn't tell anyone not to cry. I had to relearn crying as an adult, and I don't think the culture of saying "don't cry" is healthy at all.

 

[Zrosey]

Hmph. Of course it didn't fit, I wouldn't tell anyone not to cry. I had to relearn crying as an adult, and I don't think the culture of saying "don't cry" is healthy at all.

A good cry is so very awesome! Early in my transition I think I was kinda mystified why I was getting weepy watching a movie or even reading something, but OMG! its the best!