Worst Songs EVER recorded.

[logophile]

Neil Diamond recorded a Christmas Album.

'Nuff said.

 

[The Mutt]

William Shatner is a musical genius, dammit!

 

[carsonshepherd]

Anybody remember that song about a pony named Wildfire? WTF was that all about?

She ran calling Wiiiiiildfire
Wi-i-i-i-ild Fire...

Who even did that song? It makes me cringe.

 

[The Mutt]

I think the Moody Blues deserve a special award for this bit of dreck.
Maybe they should have had Shatner read it.


"Late Lament"

Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room
Bedsitter people look back and lament
Another day's useless energy spent.

Impassioned lovers wrestle as one,
Lonely man cries for love and has none.
New mother picks up and suckles her son,
Senior citizens wish they were young.

Cold hearted orb that rules the night,
Removes the colors from our sight.
Red is grey and yellow white,
But we decide which is right.
And which is an illusion?

 

[R. Richard]

Different people like different kinds of music. What one person likes, another person might hate. However, there is one song that is just a several minute whine about everything. That song is arguably the worst song ever, not because of the music but because of the whine.

"The Dock Of The Bay."

 

[cloudy]

"We had joy, we had fun we had seasons in the sun......:

gag.

I just checked that list Mat posted the link to, and there's several on there that I sorta like:

She Came In Thru the Bathroom Window - Joe Cocker

I Shot the Sherriff (they have Clapton's version listed, and it's okay, but Marley's is cool)

Ballroom Blitz - Sweet eek: can't believe this is listed as a "worst", but maybe it's the old pot-smoking speaking to me)

Hotel California - Eagles (another )

I really disagree with some of the choices....it goes on to list "Dishonorable Mentions" as anything by several artists named, including:

U2
Grateful Dead (sorry, closet deadhead here)
Pink Floyd (anyone that can't find at least one Floyd song they like I have to wonder about)
Sting

 

[Guest]

There are not many songs that will make me change the station (aside from Gangsta Rap) but last year Darrel Hall rerecorded "She's Gone" solo. I have to say he sounds like a wounded dog. The song was depressing to start with but as a D. Hall solo it honestly makes me want to shoot myself every time I hear it.

 

[The Mutt]

Glippy glop gloopy
nibby knobby newbie
la la la lo lo........

 

[Whisky7up]

Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep
was that really the title?
Middle Of The Road.

and Son Of My Father by Chicory Tip.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Anybody ever hear David Hastelhoff (sp?) sing "These Boots are Made for Walkin'"? Talk about pain and suffering!

 

[logophile]

Kenny Rogers was in a rock band, and the name now escapes me. But they had a hit single.

What Condition My Condition Was In.

Terrible stuff.

Worse than Pepto Bismal mixed with Cherry NyQuil.

 

[shereads]

If you're a fan of really bad music like I am --truly Godawul what-were-they-thinking bad music -- I fervently recommend this site:

http://www.miserablemelodies.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/miserabl/listall.cgi?arg=Artist

There are some real gems here, including the collected works of William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy, Pat Boone's version of "Smoke On The Water", and Jeff Bridges doing a ditty called "She Lay Her Whip Down".

And don't miss the Portsmouth Sinfonia!

---dr.M.

The site is a treasure-trove of music that would never have existed if someone who owned a recording studio hadn't owed a favor to the agent of a temporarily powerful Hollywood egomaniac.

Luck, thy name is Shatner.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Anybody ever hear David Hastelhoff (sp?) sing "These Boots are Made for Walkin'"? Talk about pain and suffering!

You may be cheerful, but you're also evil. God, what a flashback you just caused. The term "bad trip" doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm so old "How old, Rumple?" so old I remember the original version of "Boots" sung by the very comparable, Nancy Sinatra.

That's bad enough, but then it reminded me of the worst singer to ever have a hit record. While there are MANY candidates for that title, the winner has to be Jerry's kid, Gary Lewis. Daddy poured mega-bucks into production. Hired the best studious, techs, and musicans (Leon Russell was one). The group, Gary Lewis and the Playboys gave us things such as "This Dianmond Ring."

Anytime some of us old Boomers start going on about how great the music was back in the '60's, (and a lot was) remind them of Gary Lewis and one other group, The Royal Coachman who hit paydirt with "Snoopy and the Red Baron."

I can't take much more of this, it's too painful. My parting shot is, Sgt. Barry Sadler, "Ballad of the Green Berets."

Now where'd I put that bottle? Have the games sterted yet? Rumple exits stage left, sniffing drainpipes and mumbling the alphabet.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[shereads]

Neil Diamond recorded a Christmas Album.

'Nuff said.

And who could forget his classic, "no one to care, not even the chair."

 

[shereads]

Anybody ever hear David Hastelhoff (sp?) sing "These Boots are Made for Walkin'"? Talk about pain and suffering!

Eek! Nancy Sinatra's duet with her father, released after her Boots walked: the aptly named "Something Stupid," composed in the key of Nancy, probably by a songwriter whose other option was to disappear in the East River.

The father/daughter duet is sometimes cited as the most monotone recording of all time, but that's a cheap shot. In fact, there were several different notes, used economically and without straining Nancy's vocal range.

"and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'I love you...'"

 

[shereads]

Most things by Cher. Particularly, "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves."

 

[Kassiana]

Anything by Wesley Willis, but especially "I Whipped Superman's Ass." Don't listen to him. Really. Just trust me. He's a talentless idiot.

 

[yui]

Re: Miserable Melodies

Try this - with earplugs close by.

Miserable Melodies

Florence Foster-Jenkins is a must.

Og

The Gregorian Chants are kind of relaxing...

What a fun site, Og! Thanks for the link!

 

[Kassiana]

Forgot to add in "I Am A Viking" by Yngwie Malmsteen. The music's okay, but the lyrics are so pathetically bad it's funny.

I am a Viking, going out to war
And I've got death upon my mind
As I was leavin' oh yesterday
I've got no fear in my heart

*Chorus*
As the shores of my home disappear
I sail over the sea without fear
Dragon ships are charging through the waves
Just want to sail away into the sea yeah yeah

I am a warrior my mind is set to kill
Life or death is on the line
I am a slayer and you will taste my steel
I've got your life right in my hand

*Chorus*
As the shores of my home disappear
I sail over the sea without fear
Dragon ships are charging through the waves
Just want to sail away into the sea yeah yeah

You are a loser and it's such a shame
That you're a fool and you don't know
That in a viking I'll walk all over you
And by my sword you will die

*Chorus*
As the shores of my home disappear
I sail over the sea without fear
Dragon ships are charging through the waves
Just want to sail away into the sea yeah yeah
Mmmm

 

[English Lady]

Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep
was that really the title?
Middle Of The Road.

I don't think that was the title but i know the song you mean. It was my sisters favourite for a while ooh she'd have been about 11 and played it over and over and arrrrggggghhhh!!!

 

[haldir]

"We are the Cheeky Girls" eeeeeek.

 

[Guest]

Rumply's last post above

Aarghh! Why did I come in here?!

Perdita

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

In the Year 2525.

I don't know who it's by, but it makes my ears bleed.

Holy shit. YES! I hate this fucking song. This kid that used to stalk me in high school always made mix CD's and this song was on it. Fuckin weird. WEIRD.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Rumply's last post above

Aarghh! Why did I come in here?!

Perdita

Does kind of make your teeth hurt, doesn't it?

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Yeah, "Achy Breaky Heart" is like the Holy Grail of Bad Music. It's not just bad horrid music with horridly written lyrics and the singing of a dead cat. Just that would make it merely on par with Brittney Spears's latest output. But he had to make it so invasive, so utterly evil that merely hearing about it causes it to loop in the victim's brains and cause them grievous bodily harm. I'm surprised Billy Ray hasn't been lynched yet for it.

Question: If Achy Breaky Heart is played at the same time as The White Album will the universe explode?