Writing or kink issue

[femmeologia]

Hey folks! Decided to put my writing out there and start posting some write ups of my escapades.

One of my stories has ranked quite a bit lower than the others and I’m trying to figure out why. It is focused on kink than sex (it is in the BDSM category), and does involve some less mainstream kinks (needle play, shock collars, staples).

I don’t think? the writing quality is that much different than my other stories but maybe I’m missing something. I would love some feedback, both on what might not be working for this story, and in general. Erotica is quite a new genre for me and I’m enjoying dipping my toes in. Thanks in advance for your constructive feedback!

https://www.literotica.com/s/i-m-thinking-of-being-mean

 

[DannyBell]

My guess would be that some people click on your story with interest from the title and mini bio, and are then confronted with kinks and ideas which are very uncomfortable and/or a turn off for them. It's quite niche, obviously, but I think the imagery of it is quite visceral in comparison to a lot of specific kinks. And where this might become an issue is that there aren't many warning signs for people before they click on it, and there isn't much padding or introduction before we're reading about someone getting metal inserted into their body.

I would bet that some people get some (vaguely morbid?) curiosity injected (ha) into them and by the time they find out what exactly stapling is and what's actually going to happen, they've read something they really don't like.

There are loads of kinks that don't appeal to most people, but I would say most make people feel less uncomfortable than these ones. So rather than have a quick read and then move on, I reckon people have a quick read, become confused and then repulsed by what's happening, and then get annoyed that someone has 'ruined their day' and they leave a negative rating.

And secondly, there's no descriptions of sex in this piece of erotica?? The characters say they are going to fuck each other so hard etc, and we are told that our narrator is indescribably wet and desperate. And then it's just 'I topped her' and that's it? Then they switch. Okay? It's weird for the sex to not also be part of the story. You can definitely make the story focus on the unusual medical/pain/torturous elements, and you can even have this be a pure session of that with no sex at all. But telling the readers of erotica on an erotica website that these characters are going to have sex and then not describing it feels very frustrating. Insulting almost? Or like a trick?

I dunno tbh. Just my best guess.

I actually like your writing style and I think it's quite well rounded as a story. I think it's probably the contents that have annoyed people.

 

[femmeologia]

My guess would be that some people click on your story with interest from the title and mini bio, and are then confronted with kinks and ideas which are very uncomfortable and/or a turn off for them. It's quite niche, obviously, but I think the imagery of it is quite visceral in comparison to a lot of specific kinks. And where this might become an issue is that there aren't many warning signs for people before they click on it, and there isn't much padding or introduction before we're reading about someone getting metal inserted into their body.

I would bet that some people get some (vaguely morbid?) curiosity injected (ha) into them and by the time they find out what exactly stapling is and what's actually going to happen, they've read something they really don't like.

There are loads of kinks that don't appeal to most people, but I would say most make people feel less uncomfortable than these ones. So rather than have a quick read and then move on, I reckon people have a quick read, become confused and then repulsed by what's happening, and then get annoyed that someone has 'ruined their day' and they leave a negative rating.

And secondly, there's no descriptions of sex in this piece of erotica?? The characters say they are going to fuck each other so hard etc, and we are told that our narrator is indescribably wet and desperate. And then it's just 'I topped her' and that's it? Then they switch. Okay? It's weird for the sex to not also be part of the story. You can definitely make the story focus on the unusual medical/pain/torturous elements, and you can even have this be a pure session of that with no sex at all. But telling the readers of erotica on an erotica website that these characters are going to have sex and then not describing it feels very frustrating. Insulting almost? Or like a trick?

I dunno tbh. Just my best guess.

I actually like your writing style and I think it's quite well rounded as a story. I think it's probably the contents that have annoyed people.

Thank you, this is insightful. Perhaps I will include a content warning at the beginning. I would have in the short description but it’s too short to include everything that is discussed. I had thought having it in the BDSM section and tagging it would help but I will be more explicit.

Noted on the lack of sex. This is one of the earlier things I wrote about my exploits and I got a little shy when it came to the actual sex part of the night. I have since gotten less bashful and include sex in more recent retellings (and those stories have been better received). I’ll chalk this up to some early attempts and keep at it.