Feedback request - my first poorly rated story

7Locks

Crocheting Fool
Joined
Jul 19, 2023
Posts
40
Hello! I am 7Locks and I have been posting here for about two years. I had a different account about 10 years ago, but I don’t even remember my username.

I’m close to 15 stories now and most of them are in series. I ran into something that has never happened before. Almost everything I write is above 4.5, with most of them ending up about a 4.7 but more than a few higher than that.

And I don’t particularly focus on that except in that it drives readership. I know that when I’m reading stories if I see something with a 3.2. I’m much less likely to click it because of the wide variety available here.

I posted the first two chapters of my current series, Riding the Monster, and the first one was low originally, but is now up around 4.6. Like I said I’m not fixated on that. I just want to avoid people skipping it.

But the second one had a 3.4 after I think eight ratings and it’s up to 3.6 and I’m just confused. One of the things that I think might be a problem is that I write mostly in the transgender category, and this does not fit neatly into either the cross-dresser or transgender sub category.

The titular monster in the title is collective male sexuality, and my main character is someone who experienced massive trauma, growing up in the foster care system, and then being trafficked once they were an adult. I don’t cover that in detail, mostly just flashbacks and references in dialogue.

So there are two main reasons why people might not like this. With the way trans people and trans. Women are being demonized in this country right now the community can be very defensive and my main character treats, gender as almost a tool. They don’t even consider the standard questions that come up in this genre. So some might read that as disrespectful.

The other reason is that it could read as a rather hypocritical takedown of pornographic content. And that might make people uncomfortable as well. I was considering writing this for publication under my real name as literary fiction with much less explicit content, but I have a lot going on on that side and Literotica is an easier path.

So I guess two basic questions. Does this happen to everyone? The quality of the writing is the same as everything else I’ve put out and my research on the different elements that I add to. It is accurate. So it’s not a qualitative difference, but I guess that sometimes it can happen. If you are a prolific author here, I would love your comment on that.

If not that, and that genre is something you do read, I would appreciate you taking a look. I think it’s like 12 or 14,000 words between the first two chapters that I have up so probably about an hour or an hour and a half of reading I would happily offer a quid pro quo and look at some of your work and comment. The only thing I won’t read is scatological content. It just grosses me out.

Below is a link to the second chapter. I very much would appreciate your comments.

7Locks

https://www.literotica.com/s/riding-the-monster-auntie-ms
 
I had a brief skim through the two chapters, so take this with a grain of ignorance!

I do think you've sorted of answered your own question. The second chapter doesn't seem like it fits neatly in classic transgender, gender play, or crossdressing clichés. There are somewhat uncomfortable(?) themes or interactions in it. I do think those things might account for the drop off.

But I also think that the difference between the chapters is quite striking and potentially disappointing for your readers. The first one starts off in medias res, with a fiery arguement, and relatively quickly goes into sex and sexual things. Intense, direct, very vulgar(complimentary). The second one picks off in a much less 'spicy' scenario, and gets straight into... Some people talking. And what they're talking about and doing is honestly fairly bleak/confronting/dispassionate. Not to say that everything has to be sunshines and rainbows or all sex all the time, but coming from the first chapter into this one feels like someone has slammed the brakes quite hard and taken us from one story into one with a noticeably different tone.

I think that's what might cause the lower ratings. Almost all of the people who read part 2 of a series will have read part 1, and I think they might be quite disappointed to be reading a different story to the one they thought they were going to get. I like your writing, and it does have some literary fiction undertones, and the characters do present ideas and attitudes about topics which are at the very least interesting. I think the lower ratings aren't from people who hate the story you're telling, but who bought tickets to a show that isn't what was advertised. Maybe.
 
I had a brief skim through the two chapters, so take this with a grain of ignorance!

I do think you've sorted of answered your own question. The second chapter doesn't seem like it fits neatly in classic transgender, gender play, or crossdressing clichés. There are somewhat uncomfortable(?) themes or interactions in it. I do think those things might account for the drop off.

But I also think that the difference between the chapters is quite striking and potentially disappointing for your readers. The first one starts off in medias res, with a fiery arguement, and relatively quickly goes into sex and sexual things. Intense, direct, very vulgar(complimentary). The second one picks off in a much less 'spicy' scenario, and gets straight into... Some people talking. And what they're talking about and doing is honestly fairly bleak/confronting/dispassionate. Not to say that everything has to be sunshines and rainbows or all sex all the time, but coming from the first chapter into this one feels like someone has slammed the brakes quite hard and taken us from one story into one with a noticeably different tone.

I think that's what might cause the lower ratings. Almost all of the people who read part 2 of a series will have read part 1, and I think they might be quite disappointed to be reading a different story to the one they thought they were going to get. I like your writing, and it does have some literary fiction undertones, and the characters do present ideas and attitudes about topics which are at the very least interesting. I think the lower ratings aren't from people who hate the story you're telling, but who bought tickets to a show that isn't what was advertised. Maybe.
Thank you so much for taking the time to do that. When I get a chance tonight, I will click through to your stories and read one. If there’s a particular one you would like feedback on, let me know.

Yeah, I ran into this with another story of mine. The note. Basically, I warn people ahead of time. It was not particularly explicit, but I think I still got penalized for that.

I kind of did the same thing here and said that this was not going to be typical and that it was more literary fiction or right on the edge of it. I’m not sure people always read the authors notes.

But yeah, and I’m just not gonna worry about it. The whole point is to put it out there. I have six chapters done already with the seventh almost done so I think the people who do like it are going to get what they want.
 
Thanks for the offer, but I'm not really looking for feedback on a particular story at the moment. If you want to read one and give some feedback, you are more than welcome to! But there's no obligation at all.

Honestly, maybe the best idea for presenting this series in a consistent way might have been to make the first part less sexy, which sounds stupid for a place called literotica lol. But maybe front loading more of the nonsexual side of things into the first chapter would have helped to set readers expectations?

Best of luck with the other chapters!
 
Thanks for the offer, but I'm not really looking for feedback on a particular story at the moment. If you want to read one and give some feedback, you are more than welcome to! But there's no obligation at all.

Honestly, maybe the best idea for presenting this series in a consistent way might have been to make the first part less sexy, which sounds stupid for a place called literotica lol. But maybe front loading more of the nonsexual side of things into the first chapter would have helped to set readers expectations?

Best of luck with the other chapters!
Thanks. I made a commitment to smut based off my last experience lol. We will see
 
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