Young women's favorite things about older men

[CreamyLady]

I'm not sure about the general lack of manners; some kids I know, who in general could redefine the word "terrorist," actually have exquisite manners in company.

Also, I don't blame the feminist movement for the decline of common courtesy. I was part of that movement, and I have always grateful and appreciative whenever anyone opens a door for me, or defers to my opinion.

I open doors for men; to me, it is a matter of who gets there first, and of not letting it slam in someone's face.

I tend to put the blame on those who equate rudeness with honesty, and feel that being courteous is a waste of time. This is possibly a result of our corporate culture, where time is money and people merely cogs.

The one thing I emphasized most in bringing up my daughter is simple respect for people. She could be angry, she could be upset, but she could never, ever show disrespect for a person. It may lead to strange exchanges: "I must disagree with you, Dr. N; that idea was proven to be horseshit," but she does respect people.

 

[Powerman 5k]

the white teenage female the endangered species....
being a 18 year old white male i can say that it sorta urks me when i see an older guy wit a girl specially white girls cuz c'mon u know white girls always like the exotic non-white guys especially to piss off the parents ..you got every type of male goin for white females pretty much, hell even women are goin out wit other white women more and more everyday this leaves the white male struggling to find a mate .....DATE PEOPLE UR ON AGE! pls... (don't get pissed off hell if i was older i'd be after em too hehe)

 

[MADDOG]

What has "White" got to do with anything?

MADDOG

 

[Powerman 5k]

well i can't really speak for most area of the world but as far as northeast u.s. is concerned everyone wants white females don't ask me why prolly cuz there more submissive

 

[Nicole]

Knowledge and expirence

Enough said?

 

[Cheyenne]

Powerman 5K: You're hearing from one white woman who is far from submissive. Take your crap and shove it back where it came from.

And you might want to consider attending those high school english classes that you seem to be skipping.

 

[Tinman]

Nicole, you've condensed it all into two words. You should be an attorney. Thanks.

Aside from Powerman's wierd digression (Thanks, Maddog and Cheyenne, for your pointed parries!)... aside from that, this has been lively and informative. I learned a few things.

How about the DOWNside of such relationships. One of my younger loves recently contacted me after many years of marriage to a husband who just died -- another older man. As I considered possibilities for a renewal between us, it soon became obvious that age and time place real limits to May-December relationships.

Any other downside factors that would especially bother you?



[This message has been edited by Tinman (edited 06-05-2000).]

 

[Nicole]

Originally posted by Tinman:
Nicole, you've condensed it all into two words. You should be an attorney. Thanks.

Attorney????? *Cough Cough Splutter Splutter* umm... You sure about that?

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by CreamyLady:
some kids I know, ... actually have exquisite manners in company.

I too know some of the 'exceptions that prove the rule' Not all of the younger generations have bad manners, but the proportions of rude to polite have definitely changed over the last 50 years.

There's some evidence that it's a cyclic phenomenon. The letters from Civil War soldiers quoted various history channel programs reveal a courtly concern for manners was not an isolated phenomenon.

Other periods of history like the 'Roaring 20's' don't seem as 'polite' from the historical record.

There will always be people like You, WhisperSecret, myself, and others here who make it a point to demand civil behavior from their children, so good manners will never die off completely. They might even recover from their slump and become the rule rather than the exception.

Originally posted by CreamyLady:
I was part of that movement, and I have always grateful and appreciative whenever anyone opens a door for me, or defers to my opinion.

While you may have been a rational feminist, I actually got slapped one time for opening a door for a woman in the heyday of the radical bra burners. I also had numerous women stop and stare me down until I let the door close so they could open it for themselves.

I will freely admit that those women were definitely the 'lunatic fringe' of the feminist movement, but it doesn't take many for a man to get skittish about holding the door for a woman.

I don't blame 'Women's Lib' for the decline in manners, but it certainly had an effect that contributed to a decline.

I think that the comments about consideration of the woman's feelings being a big part in the attraction of older men are most likely closest to the heart of the matter. There's a lot of the surrogate father element also.

Like so many things we discuss here, it not something that can be generalized. Every woman has unique and persoanl reasons for being attracted to (or repelled by) older men. MAybe someday I'll find that woman who wants to live in sin with a man twice her age and live happily ever after.

I'm not going to hold my breath though.

 

[Beebeeblue]

When I was 19, I dated a man who was 38, and I was hooked on the older men. After the bad relationship I mentioned in an earlier topic of mine, well..I was a bit leery then. BUT it didnt stop me from seeing one who was at least 30+ yrs older than me. *sigh* He was good to me.
Sometime after though, my head got seriously turned, no..jerked around my my husband...who is 3 yrs my junior. Isnt life strange????

 

[CreamyLady]

Originally posted by Tinman:
. . . it soon became obvious that age and time place real limits to May-December relationships.

Time limits, perhaps, but isn't a good, loving relationship worth the tears of a parting? It's all part of life, and it may be trite, but it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

 

[Tinman]

Yo, BeeBeeBlue! See, it IS really the individual person more than the age. It's just that sometimes the numbers just don't match up.

OK, Nicole. You don't have to be a lawyer if you don't wanna. Be a writer instead! As if you weren't already doin' that, right?

And, Wierd Harold, I'd be happy just to find a lady -- regardless of age -- who'd be happy to live with ME and vv. Good mates are hard to come by, thought, ain't they?

Yes, CreamyLady, it is better and not trite. The one I mentioned was absolutely essential to my life and I wouldn't trade that relationship for anything, in spite of the ... well, the enduring pain ... of loss and missed opportunities. Without the sadness and pain, I would never realize just how fine the good times really were; and they were! But always, we want more! More! And sometimes we think, "Is that all there is?" But when more at peace, I close my eyes and remember and still have that locked in my heart and mind ... forever, all mine.

 

[SimplySouthern]

The next person who coughs and sputters (NICOLE!!!!)about attorneys is gonna need one when I get through with them! Not all attorneys are bad...I would like to think that I am a very level headed and fair person myself. Don't get me wrong, there are some sharks/theives out there. I feel that in every profession there is some sort of stereotype involved and this one sure has its great big ol'"you are a bad person" stereotype. Sometimes...I kinda ejoy it...gives me something to bitch about (like now).

Just to show you that there are no hard feelings..I must share with you my favorite lawyer joke.

Who invented copper wire?

TWO ATTORNEYS FIGHTING OVER A PENNY

I crack me up!

~Southern~

 

[CreamyLady]

Originally posted by SimplySouthern:
The next person who coughs and sputters (NICOLE!!!!)about attorneys is gonna need one when I get through with them!

I used to work for attorneys; some were fairly nice people and some were lower life forms.

Unfortunately -- and I'm willing to concede that this may be regional or I might have been spectacularly unlucky -- most of them were lower life forms.

My favorite lawyer joke had to do with billing:

How much does it cost for an attorney to screw in a light bulb?

$700 -- Partner, one hour, conference with associate regarding the light bulb.

$500 -- Associate, two hours, conference with paralegal regarding the light bulb.

$75 -- Paralegal, one hour, research; memo to secretary to change the bulb.

$30 -- Secretary, one and one half hours overtime, tracking down the maintenance people and supervising the changing of the bulb.

Total: $1325. Please remit upon receipt.

I dunno . . . it seemed funnier when I was staying late to change the light bulbs.

 

[ShyGoddess]

Cheyenne,
You said it all. I don't know about anyone else, but I like guys who know how to speak.

 

[Tinman]

I just had a feeling we'd hear from SimplySouthern on the lawyer thing. If you want to know one who isn't a numbnuts, well seems to me Southern is one of the good guys. She even has a sense of humor, something for which she didn't even bill us. Now if she was just crazy about older men ...

 

[Ghost]

Being one of those, ahem, older men (I've been 49 for a week now) I must say that I am encouraged by the sentiment here. Maybe even a bit touched. (easy on the wize cracks about the touched part, pls...)

At this point in my life, candor and connection are becominig increasingly important. It's good to know that those qualities are appreciated.

While some things apparently have improved, others have slipped some. I'm not impotent, but I sure don't respond as quickly as I used to. None of the women have mentioned that issue either through compassion or wisdom, or simply because it is not an issue.

Comments?

 

[Angelique]

Ghost,

For me, it's not an issue. I desire intercourse as much as anyone else on the board. But if it came down to choosing between a guy who could get it up (regardless of how quickly) and a guy who could be intensely intimate with me, I'd choose a guy who could be intimate, hands down. (no pun intended)

For me, sex does not make or break a relationship. I want to know my partner as completely as I possibly can...to have the kind of relationship where I can gaze into his eyes, passionately kiss him, and be able to touch the very center of his being.

Finding a kindred soul is more than just having awesome sex. I'm looking for the kind of relationship that functions like a circle...where I leave off, he picks up. In order to obtain that, I must look beyond the bedroom and see the person as a whole. There are more ways to this gals heart than the ability to deliver what most people term as "great sex". I think that the only way to achieve great sex is to know a person inside and out FIRST, because once you do, that makes the act, itself, even better.

The way I see it, anyone can stimulate my body...but it takes someone very special to stimulate my mind. Taking that into consideration, I certainly don't think a persons age comes into play, and I know for a fact that a man's bedroom performance has nothing to do with it.

Sure, I may sound delusional, wanting something that may not exist. But having been married before, and settling for something that I really didn't want, I'm determined not to make that same mistake again. So call me a hopeful romantic...I see nothing wrong with the desire to have these things.

 

[CreamyLady]

Originally posted by ghost:
I'm not impotent, but I sure don't respond as quickly as I used to. None of the women have mentioned that issue either through compassion or wisdom, or simply because it is not an issue.

Comments?

My friend had damage as a result of prostate surgery, and is the most exciting, innovative and wonderful lover I've ever been with. I do not see that as an issue, myself, if those great qualities such as humor, courtesy, patience and intelligence are present.

I may be a little strange, but I find those qualities far more attractive than a fully functional penis attached to an idiot.

 

[Ghost]

I swear I might have died and gone to heaven. Thank you Angelique and CreamLady for your intelligent and heartfelt answers.

I mentioned in a a different thread that intimacy is something I long for and find hard to achieve "IRL".

It's good to know that something I value and am working on could be one of my greatest assets.

 

[Thumper]

To anyone...powerman 5k is just using Ebonics...which I can't stand...It is one thing to speak that way...people tend to communicate verbally the same way others around them do...but to type that way seems that he is trying to come off that way...like it's cool or something....Totally baffles me why appearing uneducated looks or sounds cool.
*scratching his head*

Powerman...1st lesson

With, not "wit"
That, not "dat"
Probably, not "prolly"


[This message has been edited by Thumper (edited 06-07-2000).]

 

[Magic Merlin]

Originally posted by Thumper:
....Totally baffles me why appearing uneducated looks or sounds cool.
*scratching his head*


I wonder the same thing, Thumper. It gives just the opposite impression of being cool.

MM

 

[Tinman]

Yeah, Merlin and Thumper, I agree.

But, c'mon, Powerman5k isn't really fooling anyone. Hell, he can spell words like "struggling" and "exotic," and he knows when to hyphenate (ex: "non-white"), making his sophmoric attempts to sound like an uneducated black dude fall way short, right?

He reminds me of my older brother, who was always " ... just tryin' to agitate."

And nothing he said really contributed anything to the thread, after all, except to make everyone wonder " ... What? Whadafu**k?"

We can engrave that on his stone. His left one, preferably.

[This message has been edited by Tinman (edited 06-07-2000).]

 

[Tinman]

CreamyLady, you're a gem without equal for your patience and kindness. Such qualities would endear you to ANY man. You must make your friend very, very happy.

Please send me your model and serial numbers so I can order one just like you right away!

Hope I'm not an idiot, but I am attached (very!) to a (mostly) fully functioning penis, and as soon as I receive my copy of you, we're going to try to put it to good use. I can't wait! Ohboy, ohboy, ohboy ... 8D

 

[CreamyLady]

Originally posted by Tinman:
Please send me your model and serial numbers so I can order one just like you right away!

Model No: 033053, "Patricia Playpal"

The serial number was, alas, scratched off.