Young women's favorite things about older men

[Jonnyorgasmo]

This precious little girlie syndrome that has this old-fashoned ideal of the all-listening, all-caring dashing new-daddy lover makes me vomit. It's bullshit.
The feminist movement should finish it's job and liberate men too from this patriarchal "daddy" crap.
It can be really tough for young guys nowadays. "Pretty" young girls are treated to dinner while we (young guys) are shat upon.
We're left out in the cold to fend for ourselves our whole lives and called pathetic losers if we are not up to scratch in this society.
Then, people wonder why there are so many anti-social loons on the streets fucked up with drugs, violence, suicide etc.
Who wants to treat me to dinner?

 

[Angelique]

Well jonny, I'm a bit spiffed with your comment there. If you stop your whining about what you THINK women want and read my last post a bit closer, you'll notice that I specifically stated that I can not put an age limit on the things that I desire from a relationship...rather I find that those qualities are more often found in older men.

Perhaps what you need to do is take the time to learn exactly what we "women" want from men. With your outlook towards women, I doubt you'll be getting very far...so here's a screwdriver for that attitude of yours that needs adjusted.

As for your "precious little girlie syndrome" comment...I, for one, am quite independent...not at all a little girl. I'm secure with myself as a person, know what I want in life, and what I expect from the men I choose to date. I have a father, thank you...don't need another one. I hardly think that I fit the category you so affectionately created.

Now, I'm not sure I completely understand why you're upset that we "pretty young women" get treated to dinner. That, my confused friend, has been going on for longer than you and I have been alive! If you've got something that appeals to women, then you shouldn't have a problem with dates.

I'm not buying your weak excuses on why there are so many "fucked up" people on the streets today. People (both men and women) are responsible for their own lives. They make their own choices...and must live with the consequences. I, for one, won't take the blame for how anyone elses life turns out.

As for your dinner request...DENIED. I wouldn't take you to dinner on Rogers dime! (sorry Roger)

 

[Tinman]

Johnny, you may feel "left out" but you miss the point. You have all the advantages of youth (I assume): stamina, energy, vision, a future ... all of which are highly desirable to a great many women, young and more mature.

You should capitalize on your positives instead of begrudging to us older men the relative few woman who find us interesting, for whatever reason. The point of my thread was to learn more about why those relative few DO find us interesting.

Man, if you have difficulty finding a woman who'd love to join you for a burger and fries, or whatever you can afford and fits your lifestyle, your difficulties may be deeper than you can lay off to women's lib or whatever else may come easily.

Of course, you may just be venting for the Hell of it. Who knows? But just because you're feeling crappy doesn't mean it's a good idea to sling it at everyone else, especially the women on this BB who try -- it seems to me -- to express honest, caring opinions on a wide range of topics. Isn't that what we're here for, after all?

Angelique, good reply; I've noticed you do that(make good replies) a lot. Good for ya!

 

[Whispersecret]

I just have to set the record straight. I don't blame the feminist movement on a lack of manners. I blame it for the virtual disappearance of the types of things that men used to do for women as a matter of course.

WH, if I were single, I'd give you a whirl. All 'dem gals at Disneyland can't be wrong...

 

[THX1138]

Good topic; I'm an older man that never has had a younger woman, but would sure take care of her if the opportunity presented itself. This sure is a site to fantasize about it. Just read one of the new stories about a younger girl and older man called contrasts. Very well done story and on topic for this post .... sure gave me a woody reading it.

 

[Golden]

thanks Nicole, Angelique and Creamy and Whisper and all of you... like most 40-somethings I console my self that women appreciate the experience and knowledge as Nicole said ... and if we are a little slower, who's in a rush? and if we are little chubbier, well, as Mrs G tells everyone she knows, my additional body fat means I have a mean temperature slightly higher than hers so I am always warm to hug!

[This message has been edited by golden (edited 06-10-2000).]

 

[Casey13]

Tinman...Why are younger women attracted to older men? I don't know... Ear hair?

No, really, they probably like the stability that comes with dating someone older, both emotional and financial. Dating younger men takes a lot of patience and understanding, especially because they don't know what they want or when they want it. And even if they do know what they want, they usually don't yet have what it takes to get it.

I have dated both older and younger men. At this time my boyfriend is 8 years younger than me (so, Xander, don't distress), and believe me when I say it's a challenge every day. No matter how much I love him (and it's a lot), sometimes I feel as if I'm raising a child.

But he makes me feel young and pretty and needed. When it comes right down to it, that's all a woman really wants from any man. Perhaps older (or should I say "more mature"?) men are able to nurture those feelings more readily.

 

[Nicole]

I still say Knowledge and Experience

 

[Tinman]

Nicole, that's sure part of it. But you could have a very smart dude with lots and lots of experience and STILL not be the least bit moved by him couldn't you? There's something more that's gotta be there, too.

 

[Tinman]

OK, I started this, now I'm going to tell you what I think.

Yes, I think older men by and large are better listeners and women -- young and old -- like being paid attention to: listened to, given consideration, shown in all ways that they exist and have some validity in the world. And yes, we usually have more resources so we can afford expensive dining, vacations, and so on. Women love that of course. Hell, who doesn't?

But the real truth is, I think, that women love being adored -- not worshipped. Women need to believe in themselves, and older men provide exactly the kind of feedback that helps them to to just that. Older men appreciate women very much, and are usually so damned grateful to spend time with one that they lavish attention and consideration on her. Women can see that adoration in a man's eyes when he feels that way, and in fact can sense it in all his behavior. It comes across loud and clear to women, I'm convinced.

Ever see a woman pass a mirror without checking herself out? In a way, we're like mirrors. A mature man reflects all that a woman wants to believe about herself and, in fact, is really true even though a woman never quite accepts her true beauty. We show her that she IS beautiful (and even plain-featured women are beautiful); she IS kind ... loving ... fun to be with ... sexy ... all the things she wants to be and IS.

But because we older men WANT her to be all that, we find those qualities in her no matter how deeply she has buried them, and having discovered them we show her about herself. So, even sex with older men is often exceptionally good because though our "performance" may not be that of a 20-year-old -- it's really the heart that counts with women, and what we tell them about themselves.

I'm Tinman: "If I only had a heart." (But of course, Tinman did; Oz never gave him nothin' he didn't already have.)

 

[Casey13]

Amen, Tinman. Amen.

 

[Guest]

Tinman - You said it just right. That's exactly why younger women are attracted to older men. You KNOW how to treat women, behave around them, and how to bring out the best in us....and we love you for it. Older men give us a confidence we can't seem to aquire for ourselves in a lot of cases.

I'm 30, the love of my life is 45 - gee, hope I still qualify as a young woman? (haha) He is the only one that I've ever been with that can make me feel truly beautiful, loved, and adored. Oh - what a feeling it is too.

Question though: What is it in younger women that you "older" men get from us? (Other than the obvious physical attributes?) I'd really be interested to hear what you have to say on that.

 

[Wanderlust98]

Originally posted by Weird Harold:
MAybe someday I'll find that woman who wants to live in sin with a man twice her age and live happily ever after.

I'm not going to hold my breath though.

Had to respond to this one, Harold. I'm 35. My dear husband is 74. We me when he was 65 and I was 26. We have a good marriage. And until his recent illness, we had an exceptional sex life. We lived together for two years before we married, and I'd do it all again.

I've always been attracted to older men, and almost all my lovers are and have been 15+ years older than me. I like older men for their maturity, intelligence, experience, and ability to see sex (as well as other things) as something besides a contest of wills and stamina. They are more relaxed and comfortable with their psyches AND their bodies. Give me an older man any day.

Wanderlust98

 

[LoveMy]

Re: Older men

Well I am 41, look 34 and when I read the singles adds most women stop after about 35. So I would like to believe you all but so far I have not seen any proof.

 

[OUTSIDER]

Young like older men because they tend to open car doors for them, help them into their chairs in restaurant's, take all their own weight on there elbows during sex and don't wipe their cocks on your duvet cover afterward's.

Sorry crude but true.

 

[MistyRein]

Tinman: Your reasoning is certainly sound, but I'd like to add a little more. I'm 30 and the most fulfilling "encounters" of my life have been with men at least 10 years my senior.

I agree with all that the others have contributed... manners, willingness to listen, stability, caring and concern... those things are all very important to me, as well. However, my personal experience has provided a slightly different insight. Like many women, I get the most pleasure from giving, not just receiving. I find that older men TRULY appreciate the extra effort to please, and don't take it for granted.

In much the same way that older men tend to listen carefully, they also pay close attention to other womanly indicators and responses. Personally, I respond wholeheartedly to confidence... men who know how to 'take it like a man'... and I've never found a young man with that ability.

 

[Naked Hunny]

Hmm I think i prefer older men because they are more understanding of my situation!! They realize that i need to work my 50 hr weeks to make ends meet. They understand that my daughter comes before they do!! They know i have too much pride to ask them for money unless i really need it!! Yes ok i actually asked an ex to help with my rent once he was more than willing but i missed a week of work when my daughter was sick!! The oldest man i ever dated was 26 yrs older than me and spoiled me rotten i admit it but that had nothing to do with it!! He respected me!!

 

[Bamarose]

I've been reading over everyone's answer to the question, and most have hit the nail on the head. I'm only 22, but I've always dated men older than me. In high school, I very rarely dated guys that were also in high school. While my husband and I were separated, I had an affair with a man 21 years my senior. But it's not just sex. It's everything else involved. I like to have real conversations. Sometimes flirty, but with seriousness in them. In fact, the man i had the affair with and I are still great friends. I hope we always will be. Someone said, (there's so much here I forgot who) that it's like most of the younger ones act as if we should feel priveliged to be in their company. I can't count the number of times that I've looked at them and wondered when they'll grow up lol of course, they will one day. They'll be the "older" man asking this very question.

I also disagree with younger women looking for a father figure. That may be true with some, but with not with most. My dad has been here for me my whole life. He and my mom are still married, so it's not as if he was in another state and I'm looking for someone to take the place of "the man who wasn't there". They visit us and we visit them frequently. I have a great relationship with him. I'm just the type of person who likes a real conversation, as I said before.

I don't think it's necessarily the older aspect of it with a lot of women. I think it's the maturity level. I have met men closer to my age, although far and in between, that I was very attracted to, simply because they didn't have the "teenage" aspect. They actually listened to what I had to say, and had things to say in response.

I may be out of line here, but those are just my thoughts on the matter at hand. lol Only my 2nd post, but this particular thread caught my eye

 

[Latina]

At 45, my guy is what would be called an older man. But I
am 50, so he is younger than me. But his age gives him
the experience, wisdom, and maturity to know how to treat
me, I love how he adores me. He had a lot of BAD
relationships before he went to a seminar about figuring
out what you want, can accept, and will not accept, in a
relationship. After that seminar, he dumped his girlfriend
as not right for him, and we met about 2 months later.
I too had "must rules" and "should rules" for relationships,
he met all of my musts AND all of my shoulds.

I don't buy into that father-figure stuff. An older man
has experienced enough of life to figure out what he wants
out of life, he has achieved his successes, he is wiser,
and he is ready to setle down. That's why they are
attractive. Same for older women: we are more mature,
less flighty, and usually know how to do right by our men.
Maybe the age of marriage should move up from 18 to like
35 or 40, when both people are mature enough to handle
commitment and have learned how to give and receive
love and pleasure.

Well, that's my opinion anyway.

-- Latina