2009 Survivor Bonus Round Challenge #1: Valentine's Day.

[loganforester]

when our love is a waning moon
that trails its toe in velvet sky
sweep its glitter into a spoon

exhale with lovers' moonless sigh
and hold your thumb to what is missed
pressing crescent crust for pie

here is a girl who is needing kissed
you know by the way she pouts her lips
to whisper baby I insist

when our love is a silver slip
knit slowly fuller, spidersilk fine
Eden's child calls tides with her hips

when our love is a valentine
blotted lipstick swells night's cheek
pledge again, your hand in mine

every month when moonlight's sleek
the night wind hungrily will croon
till petted plump in dark physique
but love wakes shy in a waxing bloom

the general form and rhyme scheme are correct but it lacks the line repetition to make it a terzanelle. Check the first page to see the scheme to fit the form completely. I had fun myself trying to form my poem around the repeating lines.


Btw, I like your poem as written.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Sorry supposed to have repeating lines I think

 

[champagne1982]

Sorry supposed to have repeating lines I think

Yes, the formula for both Ange's and 'dora's poems makes them a Terza Rima... A terzanelle is a diabolical blend of both the terza rima and the villanelle, thus the easy rhyme interlock and the repetitious lines.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

ugh ty. I will look more closely. tyvm.