A 'Fake' Dom remembers[Humor]

[Jenny_Jackson]

I leave the readers to judge it.

The readers have spoken: SUCKED!

It's not a story. It's fucking boring and there is zero humor in it.

You are misrepresenting what you were told in the Editor's Forum. They told you it was a poor try on even the lowest level and, since you are a lazy asshole, to fuck off.

Now go away.

 

[jomar]

Don't sugarcoat it JJ.

 

[GratefulFred]

Come on Colton make a comeback! I'm pulling for ya. Nowhere to go but up now baby. You can't get negative votes anyways (well JennyJ I am sure can but no one else I am sort of not really sure can)

A Samuel L Bronkowitz production of a Colton_White script...

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

A Samuel L Bronkowitz production of a Colton_White script...

I think that should be "an Ed Wood Script" Fred

 

[Colton_White]

============
let my fans feedback speak on my story's humor..

I did find the "I also came to know . . ." section amusing.

Funny as hell and so true! Thanks for the laugh tonight!

Heh well that was kinda funny,Interesting point of view your writing from

I think it could probably be quite a funny story if told properly.

apart from the silent majority who's enjoyed the story very much.

I pay no attention to the thread hijackers and secret agents sent by the BDSM council or the 'so called' established authors / senior members, or old hats who fail to see the new form of prose writing.

Pay no attention to Jenny J or anyone else trying to damper your enthusiasm.

 

[ms.read]

So, I took a look at your 'story'. Yes, I am a novice editor, and though I do get a chuckle out of your snippet, I have yet to find the formal requirements of a story.

- A point of interest: All I see is the ramblings of a porn surfer. Ie the mumblings about something that doesn't keep the reader interested. (hint the reader is someone other than yourself.)

- A beginning: a main character POV that establishes Thier want/need including a hook to keep reader interested
- a middle: insert conflict = rising action.
- an end : insert solution = climax THERE WAS NOT A CLIMAX. I SHALL NOT BE DEPRIVED OF A CLIMAX !

I hope you review this post with the same amount of humor your applied to your snippet and learn from this experience.


This is an official announcement from an Executive Beta Reader in your area. If this does not apply to your current peice of fiction, please disregard or ponder as needed. Thank you for your patience and continued effort to writing well.

 

[Colton_White]

So, I took a look at your 'story'. Yes, I am a novice editor, and though I do get a chuckle out of your snippet, I have yet to find the formal requirements of a story.

This is an official announcement from an Executive Beta Reader in your area. If this does not apply to your current peice of fiction, please disregard or ponder as needed. Thank you for your patience and continued effort to writing well.

my story is perfect. only reason for it being rejected is more of political vendetta & old-age beliefs than any grammatical error etc. what
I've written is a new form of literature ...
its the modernization phase in the art of story writing and
I'm the torch bearer in that revolution..
a new style of prose writing.

but those old-hats are too old to see it, that's why they rejected

 

[ms.read]

Ah the smell of authortorial arrogance...

Your writing style may be the newest fad in ordering your words across the page, and thats fine. But in order to have a story you need to have a plot. In order to have a plot you need to have conflict. in order to have a conflict the main character needs to have a want, and another to block it for some odd reason. and inorder to have a want you have a point to get across?

and I haven't even touched the grammar part of it honey, that is best left alone.

This is an official announcement from an Executive Beta Reader in your area. If this does not apply to your current peice of fiction, please disregard or ponder as needed. Thank you for your patience and continued effort to writing well.

 

[manyeyedhydra]

my story is perfect. only reason for it being rejected is more of political vendetta & old-age beliefs than any grammatical error etc. what
I've written is a new form of literature ...
its the modernization phase in the art of story writing and
I'm the torch bearer in that revolution..
a new style of prose writing.

but those old-hats are too old to see it, that's why they rejected

Colton, stop being an idiot

The underpinnings of a good story are timeless. 'New forms' are like any fad. It looks silly and gets forgotten after a few years.

You have a good idea. Now go and write it up as a proper story and then give it to the very nice people who spend more time than they should cleaning up the silly grammatical errors everybody makes.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Colton, stop being an idiot

The underpinnings of a good story are timeless. 'New forms' are like any fad. It looks silly and gets forgotten after a few years.

You have a good idea. Now go and write it up as a proper story and then give it to the very nice people who spend more time than they should cleaning up the silly grammatical errors everybody makes.

His form already looks silly, and I think it has been forgotten after a few days.

 

[Lalah]

Not funny, but there were some truth in the "I also came to know that ..." section. You need to put more anger into it if you want to make it into an amusing rant.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

but those old-hats are too old to see it, that's why they rejected

Now that's fucking funny

Look.There is no such thing as a "PERFECT" story. That's simply egotism on your part. After the hundreds of stories posted by new writers on this site I've forced myself to read in an effort to help them, comparatively, yours about as far from a "perfect" story as you can get. You don't have any plot, character development, readable structure, your punctuation sucks ass and the only thing humerous about your story is your insiped instance that it is actually readable.

 

[Colton_White]

the real and final answer:-

I never wrote this story with an objective of establishing myself as an 'author.'

I was bored and needed an activity to pass my time & ventilate my anger and frustration,
so I wrote that story.

real objective of writing the story was 'marketing campaign' to find myself an online lady.
which didn't work out as planned so I stopped that pursuit.

I was in angry frustrated mood since all those days, so I wrote the story in anger,
and posted and replied to other people in this thread with even more anger, which is not part of my real life character.

but I'm tired with all of it.

Life is too short and too precious to waste time online like this. [the way I was wasting > writing and fighting.]


I know there are defects in my story that needs to be corrected. but I m tired working on it.
so I leave it the way it is.

and I'm sorry to all those persons to whom I responded bitterly.
and I want to thank all those person who supported me in my [lame] writing attempt.

================

some times ago, I was just in bad mood again so I posted some stuff related to my story's rejection in this thread [e.g conspiracy etc.]
and you people had to respond to it. so I don't blame you, and I'm sorry for wasting your time.


I'm not going to say anything anymore about my story. lets just leave and forget this story here.

everyone reading this

have a nice weekend!!

 

[GratefulFred]

the real and final answer:-

I never wrote this story with an objective of establishing myself as an 'author.'

I was bored and needed an activity to pass my time & ventilate my anger and frustration,
so I wrote that story.

real objective of writing the story was 'marketing campaign' to find myself an online lady.
which didn't work out as planned so I stopped that pursuit.

I was in angry frustrated mood since all those days, so I wrote the story in anger,
and posted and replied to other people in this thread with even more anger, which is not part of my real life character.

but I'm tired with all of it.

Life is too short and too precious to waste time online like this. [the way I was wasting > writing and fighting.]


I know there are defects in my story that needs to be corrected. but I m tired working on it.
so I leave it the way it is.

and I'm sorry to all those persons to whom I responded bitterly.
and I want to thank all those person who supported me in my [lame] writing attempt.

================

some times ago, I was just in bad mood again so I posted some stuff related to my story's rejection in this thread [e.g conspiracy etc.]
and you people had to respond to it. so I don't blame you, and I'm sorry for wasting your time.


I'm not going to say anything anymore about my story. lets just leave and forget this story here.

everyone reading this

have a nice weekend!!

With Colton spliting looks like I am the official source of any erotica subject somewhat amusing or satirical. Thought I had a padawan there for a sec.

 

[cgraven]

my story is perfect. only reason for it being rejected is more of political vendetta & old-age beliefs than any grammatical error etc. what
I've written is a new form of literature ...
its the modernization phase in the art of story writing and
I'm the torch bearer in that revolution..
a new style of prose writing.

but those old-hats are too old to see it, that's why they rejected

Mark Twain butchered grammar and spelling. Jack London was not much for grammar either but wrote in a down to earth style. Do not blame the lack of a story or POV on bias. Your piece simply does not meet the definition of a story.

 

[Madcapsule]

See I've been reading over the things you've written recently, as I take some interest over it - there aren't many literate 21 year old men around here who post too often, and all arrogance aside, I consider myself to be one of them! My point being is I am curious to see how you fare, and hence how you are received.

That said, I have been here for several years and one could say my growth was fairly evident.

A few things I'd like to mention; Firstly, there's always a pack mentality anywhere you go on Lit, and presumably any other online forum. The "newbie" male can often find it difficult to seek recognition, and their credibility is often tested. This is especially so, when you are our age..sure we do lack the life experience of the many others surrounding us here - but I'm sure you agree, that's not to say we are incompetent. (I nearly spelt this word wrong and my whole arguement would have unravelled )

However spouting hyperbole such as "venom" and "hatred" towards the BDSM group, surely is not the way to counter any negativity or rejection you may have received. Lit is above all a social network, which relies on you to use your literacy (I guess the clue is in the name ) and also your wit, to establish yourself as a liked well known person in the community. I must state that I have in no way reached that plateau, but it's sure as hell, a fun thing to aim for!

When you also consider the very nature of BDSM, and more precisely the dominance/submission aspect of it, where individuals are empowered in this arena with the lives of their sub - surely you must notice the potential for the aforementioned "pack mentality" to be heightened in the BDSM threads, as each Dom fights for greater power, and in turn a raised level of control?! Thus I imagine adversity to young inexperienced guys is commonplace.

After the dominance, then follows the next element to BDSM - Sadomasochism.
Now you've described how in it's various forms that humiliation etc for you is a turn off..that's understandable, I completely agree with you. I think a hell of a lot of women do to. Due to this however, I think that perhaps you aren't necessarily into BDSM, because of the following reasons:

Although you've noted that you enjoy the dominance, the control of a woman, and presumably attempting to satisify her as much as possible - which in turn is the root of your pleasure, and satisfaction..(something I believe I may have in common with you), I believe that this is quite a mainstream concept, and not directly under the niche of BDSM..and while a lot of people wouldn't describe themselves as being into BDSM, they often fantasize/carry out minor amounts of dominance, and submissive behaviour in their sex lives..

I've rambled on for a while now, but for some reason felt compelled to do so!

 

[Colton_White]

@Mr.Madcapsule,

lol I know that.. a friend of mine long time ago had told me that the my bdsm interest was nothing bdsm but just a vanilla relationship in which male dominates.

Its not that I didn't know it.. I just kept moving on with a hope finding someone.
[cause there are more woman profiles on bdsm personals than on vanilla sites.]

as I mentioned in my story.. in the beginning I felt like a kid in the candybar.. [so immediatly created
a free profile and started sending messeges to all those ladies profiles on Theslaveregiaster.com]

but gradually I found out that.. yes it was a candybar..and I was a kid but kid with no money to buy anything. [e.g no experiance or mental orientaiton required]

I have no shame in admitting I m a fake dom.. I was just looking forward [fooling around] on bdsm sites to find a woman to get laid

I left bdsm few months ago.
when I wrote this story I was extremely frustrated for not getting any results [even in the vanilla part of personals] so in my boring time I wrote that story full of anger and hatred .
[but its not tht all of it is false..many things are bitter truths e.g. there are some hypocratic leaders ruling over the forums. and others dancing on their tunes. ]

anyways, I had left bdsm a long time ago. and I apologised for my angry behaviour a few days ago in this thread.
and thanks for taking your time typing such a big reply.

 

[Colton_White]

Mark Twain butchered grammar and spelling. Jack London was not much for grammar either but wrote in a down to earth style. Do not blame the lack of a story or POV on bias. Your piece simply does not meet the definition of a story.

that's right
read post #88

 

[Madcapsule]

@Mr.Madcapsule,

lol I know that.. a friend of mine long time ago had told me that the my bdsm interest was nothing bdsm but just a vanilla relationship in which male dominates.

Its not that I didn't know it.. I just kept moving on with a hope finding someone.
[cause there are more woman profiles on bdsm personals than on vanilla sites.]

as I mentioned in my story.. in the beginning I felt like a kid in the candybar.. [so immediatly created
a free profile and started sending messeges to all those ladies profiles on Theslaveregiaster.com]

but gradually I found out that.. yes it was a candybar..and I was a kid but kid with no money to buy anything. [e.g no experiance or mental orientaiton required]

I have no shame in admitting I m a fake dom.. I was just looking forward [fooling around] on bdsm sites to find a woman to get laid

I left bdsm few months ago.
when I wrote this story I was extremely frustrated for not getting any results [even in the vanilla part of personals] so in my boring time I wrote that story full of anger and hatred .
[but its not tht all of it is false..many things are bitter truths e.g. there are some hypocratic leaders ruling over the forums. and others dancing on their tunes. ]

anyways, I had left bdsm a long time ago. and I apologised for my angry behaviour a few days ago in this thread.
and thanks for taking your time typing such a big reply.

Sigh never mind..

 

[Colton_White]

Sigh never mind..

looks like you didn't like to hear the real truth

anyways

Good night, Sweet Dreams, Sleep Well

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

 

[GratefulFred]

Worth a bump.

 

[hislove66]

lol (eh, sorry!!), you just captured exactly why THIS sub woman wants nothing to do with any BDSM "scene". I enjoy my little kink when I get the chance but whenever I tried a BDSM forum or site, I had to leave within minutes... a huge turn off even though, like I said, I enjoy many aspects of BDSM. A lot of truth in your post!

 

[Colton_White]

@ JennyJackson and GratefulFred

I agree with you this thread sucks a big time.
and I'm a looser anyway.

 

[Colton_White]

lol (eh, sorry!!), you just captured exactly why THIS sub woman wants nothing to do with any BDSM "scene". I enjoy my little kink when I get the chance but whenever I tried a BDSM forum or site, I had to leave within minutes... a huge turn off even though, like I said, I enjoy many aspects of BDSM. A lot of truth in your post!

thanks a lot for your input.