A Hypothetical: Dominants with bad taste

[TNRkitect2b]

Re: Doms

Your saying youve made the picking out or suggestion of clothing for you part of your D/s relationship?

I have, as I said, because the women that I choose as subs or slaves always have exquisite taste in clothing. For me it is a way for them to serve me.

 

[TigerClaw]

......

 

[Krinaia]

I ride Harleys and I am an executive. Granted I own my own business, however I do enteract with other executives and they do not think that I am out of style. They do know that I ride Harleys and it does not bother them.
Now that I have mt suits tailored, I do not have worry about it. Some of the executives knew me before I had my suits tailored and say I have a better image now.

I hope you realize I have nothing against the Harley fashion sense. I was just using it as an analogy. One of my favorite uncles and one of the most attractive men I've known - is a burly, braid sporting, wolf tattooed, earring wearing biker. And he's a computer tech nerd. I think that makes me all the more special.

 

[Krinaia]

true i am a slave, but i am a submissive also (smile)...and was answering the question from the point of view of a submissive to any Dominant, or any man for that matter, and not necessarily the man who owns me. if he's uncomfortable with the way he looks, and feels he needs help, well as i stated in my last post that would signal other undesirable issues to me personally, but i would suppose that would be a case where it's appropriate to make suggestions since he actually wants help. however if he hasn't expressed any discomfort or insecurity with himself, then i would let it be. so what if he has split ends, if his jeans are out of fashion, if the shoes are old and scruffy. if he's comfortable with it, you should be comfy with it too.

i will tell you something about Daddy...for some reason i will probably never understand, he absolutely will not shave with anything but a sharp razor, and some warm water. meaning, he doesn't use shaving gel, foam, cream, whatever. He says it's unnecessary. i think he might find it girlie or something, i don't know. but he won't touch the stuff. and it used to kill me to watch him shave, to hear that crunch of hairs against his naked skin. it looked so painful to me. i just KNEW he had to be irritating his skin, and i also had the selfish, totally superficial fear of him possibily causing some unattractive skin issues by shaving in that way. so i would offer to get him all these top of the line shaving gels and things, try and explain to him the purpose for them, tried to convince how much more comfy it would be to shave over foam instead of bare delicate skin. i think i might have mentioned it twice in all...til Daddy made it clear to me, he has always shaved with just a razor and water, he's totally comfortable with shaving with just a razor and water (he assured me, it doesn't hurt), and it's not a practice he ever intends to change, not for a single day. and truth be told, his skin is still nice and smooth and smoochable despite my stupid old fears hehe. but the point is, he was comfortable as he was, and i felt like a complete idiot, insubordinate so-and-so for assuming he wasn't.

if he's happy as is, that should be enough.

Very good and valid... makes me realize that I'm much more superficial than I thought I was. But I rarely base things on physical features which are unlikely to be changeable - but I base a lot on how a man dresses, grooms, and carries himself. I wouldn't rule a man out for these things but he'd have to be pretty darned great to get me to overlook most of them. Besides, in this case, I think I'm allowed A girl gets to have a few vices - elsewise, what dominant would have fun shaping an already perfect mold?

I still think that there is a lot of room to play with the fashion issue. Like tonight - I went out looking not my best. I imagine, if I had a dominant that he would have objected and that would have, on some level, pleased me.

 

[Krinaia]

I like that. I had a limited need to Dom in this area. But the more I read the more I like it, both for suggesting clothes for me and my rules for them.

... your pm box is full

 

[TigerClaw]

......

 

[Krinaia]

I've been thinking... I've only ever helped a man undress and never to dress. I wonder how submissive a man could make me feel in making me dress him. Especially in learning to tie his tie - I've always thought that was a highly erotic act.

... and migthen I be able to encourage him to wear a tie if I tell him how sexy it is when he comes home, loosens it and after our hello kiss, uses it to tie me to the bedpost?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

- be careful though - letting a lawyer make fashion choices for an architect! Who ever heard of such a crazy thing.

Other than the lawyer having kin related to bottom feeders of whale feces ... never mind.

I think some of the men in our discpline are the best dressed - and the profession allows for a lot personality.

Do you refer to architects or Pick Your Labels?

I'm curious about an earlier post ... how would you Doms or even Dommes feel starting a scene in your power suit?

Might be interesting. Depends on the object of the scene and my love for the suit worn. Imagine a Dom\mes sitting comfortably in a chair with no other furnishings in the room and the object before the Dom\mes. By power of the Dom\me's voice and imagination alone, the object goes through every wicked machination the Dom\me can devise: self-infliction of pain, answering of humilating questions, let your imagination run wild. What better torture than manipulation of the object while barely raising your voice?

As for the original question, does the submissive not serve in the highest sense by "helping" a PYL through a momentary, hopefully, lack of better judgement?

 

[Mr Blonde]

I was lucky that one of my early submissives handled this in an optimum way. I was discussing self-improvement stuff and she asked me what I was focusing on when it came to self-improvement. She then confined her suggestions to those areas where she knew I wanted to improve.

I am not a bad looking guy but I am very casual about my apperance. And I have had a submissive who cut my hair....a submissive who matched up all of my clothes....etc. But keep in mind I am not one of those "full time master" type people. There are many occasions my submissives conduct themselves simply as a typical vanilla girlfriend.

Nowadays this "self-improvement" topic usually comes up when I am asking a submissive in what areas she would like to develop. When she gives me her list, I tell her I am actively working on certain areas of myself and I expect her to contribute towards and support those goals.

 

[Krinaia]

Other than the lawyer having kin related to bottom feeders of whale feces ... never mind.

huh?

Do you refer to architects or Pick Your Labels?Might be interesting.

architects. with the exclusion of peter eisenman (bow ties! come on!!!) and frank llyod wright - the canes were cool but the capes - not so much!

In general though, many of the males in the field that I have met have a good sense of fashion and have been well groomed.

Depends on the object of the scene and my love for the suit worn. Imagine a Dom\mes sitting comfortably in a chair with no other furnishings in the room and the object before the Dom\mes. By power of the Dom\me's voice and imagination alone, the object goes through every wicked machination the Dom\me can devise: self-infliction of pain, answering of humilating questions, let your imagination run wild. What better torture than manipulation of the object while barely raising your voice?


We're objects now? <snorts in disdain> I'm not a lump of coal.

But I imagine that scene would be very humbling and wicked good ertoica.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

i'm not fond of lawyers.

Ever try to tie a bowtie? Say that three times fast ...

Still kneeling sky?

Might give that some thought for a story.

 

[Krinaia]

i'm not fond of lawyers.

Ever try to tie a bowtie? Say that three times fast ...

Still kneeling sky?

Might give that some thought for a story.

I've had only a little contact with lawyers - one was a dom I was hoping to meet, he told me he'd call, he never did. Bastard.

I don't even know how to tie a tie much less a bowtie.

Can't leave me kneeling too long - I have a bad knee - leaving me kneeling for an ovelry long time will leave me unable to walk without pain. And I would be in danger of my leg giving out on me.

What? Me write a story?

 

[AngelicAssassin]

I've had only a little contact with lawyers - one was a dom I was hoping to meet, he told me he'd call, he never did. Bastard.

I don't even know how to tie a tie much less a bowtie.

Can't leave me kneeling too long - I have a bad knee - leaving me kneeling for an ovelry long time will leave me unable to walk without pain. And I would be in danger of my leg giving out on me.

What? Me write a story?

Chuckling.

Well, it might not get you any points on a resume, but it can be an erotic expericence.

Using that as a crutch? Pun intended.

Imagination can be a wonderful thing.

 

[Krinaia]

Chuckling.

Well, it might not get you any points on a resume, but it can be an erotic expericence.

Using that as a crutch? Pun intended.

Imagination can be a wonderful thing.

In the same way that I find it erotic when the d-ring in a collar is grabbed and I'm dragged in for a kiss - I find the idea of being able to grab his tie and pull him in for a kiss erotic.... but the conation of having control isn't there in a similar way.

At the store I am working in for christmas - there is a rack of rather "gothic" or "alternative" jewelry and accessories. There is this braclet - pleather with pink ribbon... and I had the most wonderful idea... wouldn't it be fun to have a collar made of pretty little ribbons? A pink ribbon with tied in a little bow. It's innocent enough I could wear it out and it would be seen as some sort of fashion statement but it could have a different meaning altogether! I could have one in baby blue too... to match my eyes.

 

[cellis]

Re: Re: Expansion

too phony...and he would know it...only my opinion. i believe in just coming out with the truth no matter what happens. A Master can not get angry with a sub/slave for sitting down and being honest, isnt that what he would want her to do in the first place?

I totally agree Kajira... I think that just coming out and telling someone... why play all these childish games?

And while I am not a Dominate, I know that I can tell Himself anything... He will do as He pleases... But He always listens...

 

[Krinaia]

Re: Re: Re: Expansion

I totally agree Kajira... I think that just coming out and telling someone... why play all these childish games?

And while I am not a Dominate, I know that I can tell Himself anything... He will do as He pleases... But He always listens...

Well I think that this is good yes. But improving oneself, as Mr.Blond has discussed, takes time and energy. As a submissive, you can certainly openly tell your dom you see the room for improvement. But I don't think its a childish game if you find ways to incorporate helping him along his way by making it a part of your bdsm routine. He would do the same for you, why can't you do the same for him? If he takes to correcting you for being let's say... a bad housekeeper, or being unpunctual or in being more self-motivated... would you consider those childish games? To me, to the two are paralellable. Except he may use both punishment and rewards and you or I , as submissives, would not be allowed to use punishments.

For me, I'd love to have a dominant's support in helping me become better self-motivated in that I often procrastinate. I work on this myself all the time but would love to have additional support. If he started denying, rewarding and punishing me based on my progress... well I think you would deem that part of a healthy bdsm relationship....

Similarly, I tell him that professionally, his clothing choices are holding him back. So I take to complimenting him when he looks sexy in more appropriate fashions. We scene to give him confidence in that look or just to make him associate power with his power suit. Or, I serve him by ironing and selecting his outfit the night before when I lay out my own clothing. ... yet this would be deemed childish games?

 

[hurtme]

The way I figure it, I don't allow him to tell me how to dress, if i did, I think my closet would look much less like it belongs to mortisha addams...I have dressed this way since before i met him...and in the same respect, I don't tell him how to dress, as I don't really care what clothes he is wearing.
If however, he asked me how something looked on him, I would give him my hoenst opinion...in return, I know that if I asked him how something looked on me, I would get the same...but I will give you an example of a conversation like my last parter and i would have...since he didn't really get into the whole goth thing...

me: What do you think of this dress/skirt/corset
him: Its black
me: well of course its black...but do you think it looks ok?
him: its see-thru...(or, its ripped, is it supposed to be ripped, or, you know that you have safety pins holding that together, right?)
me: yep...so, does that mean you don't like it...
him: I don't know, I can't tell your clothes apart...it looks fine, like everything else you own...
me:but, I have never worn this (article of clothing) with this (article of clothing) before and I just want to make sure it matches...

this always produced a look that would make me throw up my hands and stop the discussion...until finally, I just stopped asking...

 

[lark sparrow]

lol Okay, I don't mean this as a male putdown truly... but aren't the greater majority of guys, Dominant or not, open to a bit of well meant and phrased advice when it comes to wardrobe?

Perhaps I hang out with the wrong guys... but that's my opinion.

 

[Krinaia]

lol Okay, I don't mean this as a male putdown truly... but aren't the greater majority of guys, Dominant or not, open to a bit of well meant and phrased advice when it comes to wardrobe?

Perhaps I hang out with the wrong guys... but that's my opinion.

...lol.... maybe.... i have, in fact, never had a discuss with a male on this subject. part of why i started this discussion. wanted a male consensus of sorts. Lol.... my two best male friends have bad fashion sense but they're poor college students so... yah its, in my opinion, somewhat expected.... and it isn't my place to tell them - maybe some girls think hooded sweats are sexy

 

[bunny bondage]

the infamous prof (remember him? i don't sub to him anymore but i'm still in contact) has an almost impecable fashion sense. he's very concerned with how he looks, and usually dresses himself very nicely. but once, he showed up with this silly little scarf tied around his neck. my exact words were "you look like an art fag". the scarves all went into a bag which i consideratly labled "art fag scarves" and he appreciated the advice. brutal honesty runs in my family, and though it may get me punished nine times out of ten, i'll always say what's on my mind.

 

[FungiUg]

Re: Re: A Hypothetical: Dominants with bad taste

There should be no reason why you cant tell him honestly what you think. I think he would like your honestly more then you feeling uncomfortable.

Spot on. D/s does not exclude honesty, communication, advice, caring, etc.

 

[cellis]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Expansion

Well I think that this is good yes. But improving oneself, as Mr.Blond has discussed, takes time and energy. As a submissive, you can certainly openly tell your dom you see the room for improvement. But I don't think its a childish game if you find ways to incorporate helping him along his way by making it a part of your bdsm routine. He would do the same for you, why can't you do the same for him? If he takes to correcting you for being let's say... a bad housekeeper, or being unpunctual or in being more self-motivated... would you consider those childish games? To me, to the two are paralellable. Except he may use both punishment and rewards and you or I , as submissives, would not be allowed to use punishments.

For me, I'd love to have a dominant's support in helping me become better self-motivated in that I often procrastinate. I work on this myself all the time but would love to have additional support. If he started denying, rewarding and punishing me based on my progress... well I think you would deem that part of a healthy bdsm relationship....

Similarly, I tell him that professionally, his clothing choices are holding him back. So I take to complimenting him when he looks sexy in more appropriate fashions. We scene to give him confidence in that look or just to make him associate power with his power suit. Or, I serve him by ironing and selecting his outfit the night before when I lay out my own clothing. ... yet this would be deemed childish games?

Actually it does seem rather childish... and I won't belabor the point with you... only state that I have a mature relationship with Himself... we discuss things as adults... I do not consider this type of thing "scene" material... and neither does He.

 

[Krinaia]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Expansion

Actually it does seem rather childish... and I won't belabor the point with you... only state that I have a mature relationship with Himself... we discuss things as adults... I do not consider this type of thing "scene" material... and neither does He.

To each their own. I never said that talk was out - nor has anyone else here. Mostly under discussion are things you can do in addition to that - or at least that's how I felt.

 

[Netzach]

We don't have too many fashion problems around the house.

Except for the cardigans.

There's retro cute.

There's geek chic.

But dressing 80 at 30 is just too much.

Perhaps I should start letting him wear them but spanking him for it.

 

[NCShin]

Well, me personally as a dominant would not mind this at all.

I KNOW I have horrible fasion taste for a few reasons, not the least of which is that I am partially color blind.

If something was said to me about this, I'd likely smile and nod knowingly. Then make it part of her daily routine to lay out and iron my clothes. If money permited I'd have no problem in sending her out shopping for me either.

I dont see what you describe as D/s. Someone can be the best, dom, but not be wise to the ways of fasion. I don't think there is any shame in that at all.