A Rant on the Perniciousness of "Damaged" Characters in BDSM Stories

[missgiter]

Are you finding it?

In amidst the rubbish, there seems to be some very worthwhile reading

 

[caged_doll]

Yeah, that borders on just fucking SAD right there. I'd be all over that shit like a fly on stink. Our local news is pretty integrated with facebook, where users can post opinions and such. I'd have a lot to say on that.

The local community got NCSF involved...I've heard rumors of a potential lawsuit, but I don't know. I do know that the TV station's facebook page had a ton of posts and definitely NOT the reaction I'm sure they were hoping for. More like...who cares? Why is this news? Slow news day? All that from just regular viewers, not even kinksters (although plenty of them DID voice their opinion.)

There was no reason for it. They have found out the person in the community who was interviewed during the story....her face was blurred out but it was pretty obvious who she was, she couldn't stop telling everyone through her blog that she had seen Bob (the suspect) and his mistress at a party the weekend before his wife did.

 

[Noor]

I just thought of another-- "Room with a View." But that was better because so much tedious shit got left out of the film.

I liked a room with a view. I also liked that other one about the Italian young husband and the baby.

 

[njlauren]

This is what I've said before. It was obvious the writer never researched the subject, nor did she wish to. Truly a black mark for the next BDSM novel that comes out, and it accurately portrays both the DOM and his/hers submissive.

The big problem is in reading 50 shades of gray as if it is a BD/SM novel, it isn't, it is a romance with a standard theme of a damaged guy who finds love through a girl who turns out to be a lot stronger then you would think at the beginning of the book. Yeah, the reviewers and such focus on the BD/SM elements but that is because they don't really know BD/SM. The author used the D/s stuff as a vehicle for her story, it was never meant to be the story (and as you go on in the story, it is less and less). The interesting point a lot of people miss (I suspect because they don't read all the books ) is that ole 'clueless' anna turns out to be the strong one, and she wins, she backs Christian down and ends up in effect being the one in charge in a sense, which is interesting.

 

[RjThoughts]

The big problem is in reading 50 shades of gray as if it is a BD/SM novel, it isn't, it is a romance with a standard theme of a damaged guy who finds love through a girl who turns out to be a lot stronger then you would think at the beginning of the book. Yeah, the reviewers and such focus on the BD/SM elements but that is because they don't really know BD/SM. The author used the D/s stuff as a vehicle for her story, it was never meant to be the story (and as you go on in the story, it is less and less). The interesting point a lot of people miss (I suspect because they don't read all the books ) is that ole 'clueless' anna turns out to be the strong one, and she wins, she backs Christian down and ends up in effect being the one in charge in a sense, which is interesting.

I've heard it best described as a bad/poorly written Harlequin.

 

[LucyH]

The characters in 50 shades are fairly young so they probably shouldn't be as damaged as people who have gone through more of life.

I don't know about that. Young people have less experience dealing with the B.S. in life, and I think they're more likely to have fresh, bleeding psychological damage.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The characters in 50 shades are fairly young so they probably shouldn't be as damaged as people who have gone through more of life.

They probably shouldn't be as wealthy as all of that, either.

 

[Noor]

They probably shouldn't be as wealthy as all of that, either.

I wish I was as wealthy as I was when I was young

 

[Stella_Omega]

I wish I was as wealthy as I was when I was young

yes. But I kinda just wish I was young. I could use the energy!

And I also wish my pants hung off my hips so irresistibly.

They kind of hang under my stomach and off my butt.

 

[missgiter]

yes. But I kinda just wish I was young. I could use the energy!

And I also wish my pants hung off my hips so irresistibly.

They kind of hang under my stomach and off my butt.

I'm sure it's still quite worthy of a double take

 

[Noor]

yes. But I kinda just wish I was young. I could use the energy!

And I also wish my pants hung off my hips so irresistibly.

They kind of hang under my stomach and off my butt.

You need a better cut of trousers! I am sure they can hang irresistibly again.

My energy level was pretty near impossible when I was young so now is not so bad. I actually had a roommate who told me I was great except she couldn't handle my energy level and the way I woke up like a light switch in the morning.

 

[desertslave]

I've heard it best described as a bad/poorly written Harlequin.

I'm an avid, varied, and picky reader and I have to disagree with you on this part. While the plot rather disappointed me (which is why I started this thread in the first place), the writing was decent if limited in some ways. I willingly charge these books with metaphor abuse/overuse, but that's about their worst technical sin. I've heard them compared to Twilight and I vehemently disagree. I couldn't drag myself through more than 1/4 of the first Twilight book before I hurled it away in disgust. My daughter agreed, about Twilight, and she's equally picky.

The books are readable, the continuity and plot bunnies are sensible (within limits), and the character development is really very good. The author paints them as very typical people with their own shortcomings which they then have to work out if they want to be a couple. Honestly, I was touched by the determination they both show to MAKE it work even when they're banging heads with each other. I could almost dare to suggest that the series could be a decent "couples therapy" guide....almost.

 

[RjThoughts]

I'm an avid, varied, and picky reader and I have to disagree with you on this part. While the plot rather disappointed me (which is why I started this thread in the first place), the writing was decent if limited in some ways. I willingly charge these books with metaphor abuse/overuse, but that's about their worst technical sin. I've heard them compared to Twilight and I vehemently disagree. I couldn't drag myself through more than 1/4 of the first Twilight book before I hurled it away in disgust. My daughter agreed, about Twilight, and she's equally picky.

The books are readable, the continuity and plot bunnies are sensible (within limits), and the character development is really very good. The author paints them as very typical people with their own shortcomings which they then have to work out if they want to be a couple. Honestly, I was touched by the determination they both show to MAKE it work even when they're banging heads with each other. I could almost dare to suggest that the series could be a decent "couples therapy" guide....almost.

The women who told me they were poor Harlequins were two that read 3-5 of those a week, go to garage sales and pick them up by the tens!!

 

[desertslave]

The women who told me they were poor Harlequins were two that read 3-5 of those a week, go to garage sales and pick them up by the tens!!

<shrug> Different strokes, I guess. I'll admit, I rarely read books for or of Great Ideological content. I love reading but detested my literature classes because I hate dissecting stories. If there's some underlying meaning, for fuck's sake just come out and say it!

Anyway, having only had a tiny taste of the Harlequin-standard style, I think it's truly more a matter of style/taste than good/bad.

 

[RjThoughts]

<shrug> Different strokes, I guess. I'll admit, I rarely read books for or of Great Ideological content. I love reading but detested my literature classes because I hate dissecting stories. If there's some underlying meaning, for fuck's sake just come out and say it!

Anyway, having only had a tiny taste of the Harlequin-standard style, I think it's truly more a matter of style/taste than good/bad.

I read books by Cussler, Preston&Child, Berry, Rollins, and Metzler, authors whose works aren't easy to read but aren't "hgh literature" either. I HATED dissecting stories in college: I found it took away from the enjoyment of reading.

Fifty Shades has probably jump-started an erotica sub-genre, "Mommy Porn", something that's good to authors and writers world-wide. I just wish the writer put some effort into research. I've heard "Writer what you know," for years, but coming from a computer background tells me, "Research what you don't know." She should have read up on the lifestyle before typing.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Mommy Porn

FUUUUUUUUUCK. Can we be even MORE SHITTY AND PATRONISING. IT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS-- MEN.

I'll tell you one thing, with the proliferation of women's fiction communities on the internet, a novel had better be really fucking good to compete with the really fucking good stuff that's available for free.

She should have read up on the lifestyle before typing.

But you know what? She didn't need to, because her real subject is women's desires and she knew that one inside and out. The proof is her success.

 

[RjThoughts]

FUUUUUUUUUCK. Can we be even MORE SHITTY AND PATRONISING. IT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS-- MEN.

I'll tell you one thing, with the proliferation of women's fiction communities on the internet, a novel had better be really fucking good to compete with the really fucking good stuff that's available for free.

Or have some good PR behind it! Even a faux controversity, as 50 has sparked within some communities, can help it.

Remember the first Harry Potter book? It didn't sell well in America until some religious nutbag decided it should be banned because it promoted witchcraft and anti-Christian beliefs.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Or have some good PR behind it! Even a faux controversity, as 50 has sparked within some communities, can help it.

50 had already become a best seller by word of mouth. Women's mouths-- which don't seem to count for much in many people's minds. But women buy it because women want to read it. And they want to read it because it gives them something.

I do not know why that's so hard to comprehend.

Remember the first Harry Potter book? It didn't sell well in America until some religious nutbag decided it should be banned because it promoted witchcraft and anti-Christian beliefs.

I don't remember that. I remember that the sales were very very good long before the Xtian outcry.

 

[RjThoughts]

50 had already become a best seller by word of mouth. Women's mouths-- which don't seem to count for much in many people's minds. But women buy it because women want to read it. And they want to read it because it gives them something.

I do not know why that's so hard to comprehend. I don't remember that. I remember that the sales were very very good long before the Xtian outcry.

Word of mouth is the best way to get a non-PR'ed book sold. I never discount the target audience, of which women were for this book. I wasn't


Spawn was in Catholic school when the uproar occured..some tried to get it banned where he was..of course the nun principal laughed and purchased 10 copies LOL

 

[Stella_Omega]

Word of mouth is the best way to get a non-PR'ed book sold. I never discount the target audience, of which women were for this book. I wasn't

You sure weren't. And you know how white folks don't use the 'N' word because they are NOT BLACK?

Please please never utter the term "mommy porn" ever again, thank you. Expunge it from your mind. It's inaccurate, and demeaning both to all women, and all women who have children AND a sex drive, AND a motherfucking mind of their own.

It's right on a par with the "damaged characters in BDSM."

Spawn was in Catholic school when the uproar occured..some tried to get it banned where he was..of course the nun principal laughed and purchased 10 copies LOL

I bet the pope would have something to say about her radicalism.

 

[RjThoughts]

You sure weren't. And you know how white folks don't use the 'N' word because they are NOT BLACK?

Please please never utter the term "mommy porn" ever again, thank you. Expunge it from your mind. It's inaccurate, and demeaning both to all women, and all women who have children AND a sex drive, AND a motherfucking mind of their own.

It's right on a par with the "damaged characters in BDSM." I bet the pope would have something to say about her radicalism.

Surprisingly, the Vatican was mum on it.

I will forget the term, when others realize that the nickname of the Washington NFL team IS racist and NEEDS to change!! /sarcasm <Damange character in a damanged termed subgenre huh?>

 

[desertslave]

I do not know why that's so hard to comprehend. I don't remember that. I remember that the sales were very very good long before the Xtian outcry.

Yup, I remember laughing because by the time they finally noticed, it was truly a matter of 'too little too late.' I think my daughter's crew was a bit privileged because one of her classmates picked up a copy when his parents took him to the UK on vacation. It got shared around most of the class well before the US version was ever released.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I will forget the term, when others realize that the nickname of the Washington NFL team IS racist and NEEDS to change!! /sarcasm

I recognize that fact. I've recognized it for a long time. Speaking for myself, because I can't speak for anyone else, I avoid mentioning their racist name.

How about you, can you now recognize your own gaffe and say that you, too, will avoid using that sexist term?

 

[RjThoughts]

I recognize that fact. I've recognized it for a long time. Speaking for myself, because I can't speak for anyone else, I avoid mentioning their racist name.

How about you, can you now recognize your own gaffe and say that you, too, will avoid using that sexist term?

Yes, but have you come up with a term to replace it? I've heard nothing from the women which called it that. None are willing to offer anything.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You could call it "Romance Porn."

But do not make a leap that all romance is porn.

To quote someone more eloquent that I am at the moment:

The media courage of 50 Shades continues, long and frequently enough that there are some themes emerging. One fantastic example: mommy porn.

In two words, there are a lot of things wrong with Mommy Porn. Add to that "Mommy's naughty reader" and the rhetoric that women are ashamed of their erotic reading material and thus buy and read it digitally, as the Wall Street Journal suggested yesterday, means that the shame-wagging-finger gets bigger.

I have a different finger to use in reply. It's the middle one.

Romance has struggled with the pornography label for a long time. And I give the middle finger to that label as well. I'm sure you've heard it: "romance is porn for women!"

There's a lot of things wrong with that statement, too, almost as much as "Mommy porn." I realize this is a long ass entry, so if you read only two sentences, let it be these:


Romance is not porn for women.

Porn is porn for women.



There is nothing wrong with either one.

And whatever a woman employs to satisfy her own sexual curiosity and hornypants is her business, not yours.

http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/blog/romance-arousal-and-condescension/