About the word "vanilla"

[Kumquatqueen]

I've had RL acquaintances who were gay. For several years I've lived in San Francisco. I know gay people exist. I don't usually wonder what they do under the sheets but if I were to entertain the notion, I'd never describe it as vanilla.

But would you describe it as kinky, which tends to be the usual opposite to vanilla? My guess is you have a third category in your head?

 

[TheLobster]

Seems like a double standard to me.

I know of the occasional usage of "vanilla" to mean "plain" or "boring." But I didn't intend to imply any such value judgments, so I hope it's clear this isn't about any double standard. The meaning of "vanilla" that I have in mind is more along the lines of "typical" or "common"; it's about the prevalence, not value.

But would you describe it as kinky, which tends to be the usual opposite to vanilla? My guess is you have a third category in your head?

Come to think of it, that might be the case. I understand kink as a specific and possibly unusual aspect of sexuality that a person enjoys (i.e. is into). It seems weird to apply the label to one's sexuality as a whole.

 

[Britva415]

I know of the occasional usage of "vanilla" to mean "plain" or "boring." But I didn't intend to imply any such value judgments, so I hope it's clear this isn't about any double standard. The meaning of "vanilla" that I have in mind is more along the lines of "typical" or "common"; it's about the prevalence, not value.

That wasn't what I meant at all when I talked about double standard, and it's not what I mean at all when I talk about vanilla either.

We're clearly just not on the same page, so, oh well, what'cha gonna do.