Absolution (closed)

[heartofcourage]

Selena let herself be weak and hold Vincenzo tightly as he hugged her and encouraged her as the baby moved strongly in her belly. She needed someone to lean on and Vincenzo had always been that person. He was unfailingly kind to each of the Ghis children and he would have been a great father. However, her heart would always belong to her uvore. She wondered if Ghell were still even alive, but she put those thoughts out of her mind right then and there.

 

[KieranSoares]

By the next day, Vincenzo had managed to put together a proper ceremony with grave and pyre, and while no shamans could be found, a tribal healer came to preside over the ceremony as someone familiar with the rites. It was all quiet, but beautiful in it's own way. Warwick took the watching of the pyre incredibly seriously, though he idly spun the new silver ring on his finger as he stood vigil after the final rites had been spoken.

 

[heartofcourage]

Valentina stayed close to Warwick’s side, holding onto his tunic and pressed against him as he watched the pyre closely. The rest of the family stood back, giving Ciaran and Cole and Warwick and Valentina their chance to grieve before the final fire was lit.

 

[KieranSoares]

Warwick was the one to take the torch from the shaman and light the pyre once he and his children all shared a glance or a nod. The fire set quickly atop The grave, dry wood burning fast and hot. Warwick would remain until every ember died and the smoke stopped.

 

[heartofcourage]

“Da.” Valentina said softly after Warwick had lit the fire, lifted into his arms instantly after she had spoken. “Don’t be sad, Da. She’s happy now.”

 

[KieranSoares]

Warwick held Valentina a little tighter to let her know he'd heard her, but he didn't speak. His eyes remained on the pyre. It was a symbol of the soul of the departed returning to the wind in the smoke, and to the Earth in the ash and grave. As the shaman had explained it, all four elements were represented, with the fire being symbolic of how quickly life really went, the body fading with age like the burning wood. And water was represented with a small offering of blessed river water at the beginning of the ceremony.

 

[heartofcourage]

Valentina rested her head against Warwick’s shoulder as they both watched the fire claimed Ashelin’s body. Everyone felt the deep loss in different ways. Without her, they wouldn’t have survived and Kitty still wondered how they would without her now.

 

[KieranSoares]

Those in attendance trailed off over time, save Warwick until close to noon when he finally left with a small vial of the ash in hand. The meal afterward was somber, and Warwick kept to himself save when his children needed him.

 

[heartofcourage]

Valentina stuck close to Warwick all though lunch, unwilling to leave his side. Cole and Ciaran were more than happy to go with the Ghis children into the woods for a hunt, but Valentina remained as if she might help heal her father’s broken heart.

 

[KieranSoares]

Vincenzo was also within reach for Valentina. At first he'd been worried Warwick would shut down completely. But seeing Warwick still- albeit silently- looked after her, Vincenzo remained beside Kitty offering her comfort as well. In the evening, Warwick remained at the keep with Valentina overnight.

It was a couple weeks before Warwick started to act more like his old self again, but there was still a hollowness to the man, and he looked like he'd aged a decade in less than a month. Vincenzo was always checking in, be it just by asking Valentina how Warwick was and how he was acting, or taking time to sit with him one-on-one, even if they only spoke of Valentina or Kitty.

 

[heartofcourage]

Kitty lay in bed one morning, her head pressed against Vincenzo's chest as they each quietly took in the afterglow of a night of love making. Selena had left the day before with Boar in tow, making sure that she made it safely to her cabin. Kitty had begged her to stay, asking that she stick around until at least the baby was born, but Selena had stubbornly told her that she needed to go. It seemed that she was having a hard time connecting to her children. Especially Valentina.

She had tried her hardest to be there for the little girl, but Valentina had pushed her away at every turn. She didn't want Kitty. She wanted Ashelin. It broke Kitty's heart, but she tried her hardest to not let that hurt show. She missed her dear friend deeply and wished that Ashelin were there to give her sage advice and help her along the way.

Kitty simply hugged Vincenzo tight, letting him comfort her as much as he possibly could. He knew how much she was hurting and he didn't press her at all.

 

[KieranSoares]

Vincenzo had been dozing for a while when Kitty hugged him tighter, and his arm came to drape around her. Despite all the sadness around them, Vincenzo had coaxed Kitty into enjoying herself that previous evening, treating her to anything she liked in a way she hadn't known since their time in Greece, if only to distract her.

 

[heartofcourage]

"Everyone has told me to wait for her to come to me, but I don't think that will ever happen." Kitty confessed softly as Vincenzo draped his arm around her. "And I know she's still hurting for Ashelin, but I just want to gather her up tight and never let her go."

 

[KieranSoares]

"It's only been a short while, love," Vincenzo murmured. "It could take months, years even... You can't make a child love anyone, as much as I know she'd love you if she took the chance. But she's getting closer and closer with her half-siblings and she takes what they say about you seriously. It will come, Kitty."

 

[heartofcourage]

"I've already waited so long, Vincenzo. It's easy enough for you to say that I need to wait. You got all of those years with her." Kitty said, slightly bitter about missing so many parts of Valentina's life. "I'm tired of being told to wait."

 

[KieranSoares]

"There's nothing else to be said, love. It can't all come right at once," he murmured before sitting up and looking down at her. "It may still be a long time. She won't ever let go of Ashelin, but she will see that she has room in her heart for other people deserving of that love."

 

[heartofcourage]

Kitty let out a long sigh and was soon out of bed, wrapping herself in her thick robe as she walked towards the fireplace. She was frustrated and it showed as she stalked and fretted in front of the dwindling flame.

"I am so tired of waiting. I thought when he was gone, it would all be better. That's what everyone promised and that's what I clung to. I needed that hope that I could simply have my family back together and happy." Kitty said, her voice full of frustrated anger. "And now...what do I have? I have a son halfway across the world who won't come back because this place haunts him. I have a daughter living nearer to her godparents than her own mother because she needed to get away. I have another daughter whom I can't even hold because she doesn't want me. This is about as hellish as anything ever was."

 

[KieranSoares]

"Kitty... You're only seeing the bad," Vincenzo told her softly, hiding any hurt he felt as he rose and pulled on a pair of trousers. "Your children have futures of their own now. They can heal in time. You're getting your strength back, and you actually have a chance to know your youngest daughter... And I'm finally here. Things will never be perfect, but they get better with time now that the worst has passed. I know you want it now... But you have to realize that now isn't the right time. Slowly but surely, you'll have what you waited for, if you're only patient and loving as you always were. Durban will come home, he would never break that promise. Selena... I can't promise she will come home for good, but she has found a place for herself and she'll get comfortable with sharing her life, she just has to figure out what that new life is. And Valentina has to come to terms with the first great loss in her life, but I have no doubt she will cope well and open up again."

 

[heartofcourage]

"All anyone has ever told me is to wait, Vincenzo." Kitty said, turning to let him see her hurt and anger. "Wait and I would have a family to make me happy in an unknown land. Wait and my husband would love me like I deserved. Wait and my children wouldn't have to live in absolute misery. Wait and I would hold my daughter one day. Wait and I would be with the man that I loved. I'm so tired of waiting."

 

[KieranSoares]

"What else can anyone tell you, Kitty?" He asked, his voice calm despite her rising anger. "It's all we can say. We can only offer hope and comfort, even when, years back, we thought every promise was an empty lie we were telling to a woman who needed something- anything- to cling to. Now you're on the other side of the worst of it and feeling the echoes of the traumas your husband caused. If you want the absolute truth, Kitty... This will last for years. Some things will last forever. I don't know if anything ever told you will come true, but I genuinely believe it. You're allowed to be angry, it's human. Throw a tantrum if you like, get it out. Just makes sure it doesn't hurt anyone else. If you can cope with it and keep it from effecting the relationships you're working so hard for, you will outlast this. Be angry, cry, throw things. Maybe take a page from Boar and take an axe to a training dummy. Whatever you have to do." He knew he had to treat her like a patient in this regard, because being a comforting lover wasn't helping.

 

[heartofcourage]

"I want my family here and together, Vincenzo. That's what I want." Kitty said softly, looking at him as he treated her like a patient instead of a lover. "I want Durban and Selena here with me and I want Valentina to at least act friendly towards me."

 

[KieranSoares]

"What else can I tell you, love?" Vincenzo asked gently, his expression softening. "I can't give you anything else that isn't a 'wait and see' empty promise."

 

[heartofcourage]

"Then what did I wait for?" Kitty asked, turning to look at Vincenzo with a lost expression. "What was all of this for?"

 

[KieranSoares]

"The wait isn't over yet," he murmured, crossing his arms over his chest with a sigh. "I'm still waiting too, cara mia... We all are, for things that simply can't be rushed no matter how badly we want it. But now, there is a real chance, whereas before, it was weak hope. I don't know what else I can say."

 

[heartofcourage]

Kitty took a seat in her overstuffed chair, looking into the fire as she thought about that. She didn't know if she could keep waiting like they all wanted. She had waited for almost twenty years. She didn't know how many more years she could waste on hope.

"I think I'd like to be alone for a while." Kitty said softly, looking up at Vincenzo. "Please, love. Just for a while."