Advice/info on swinging

[SweetErika]

Well, I would say for newbies, it went quite well.

We walked in, picked a table that had a couple of empty chairs, intro'd ourselves and lucked out with having some very easy to talk to folks.

There was also an instigator in the crowd, and not being one to be outdone, I ended not only sitting with a couple of other topless ladies at our table but dancing in just my see thru black panties.

We declined to participate in the fuckfest that followed, but watched for a bit, then headed home.

Needless to say, the drive home took a little longer than normal

Next week we will be trying another club with a couple from last night, one that has more girl on girl action apparently-my area of interest

This is the honest to god truth and thanks to all of you here who helped make it happen

Glad to hear you had such a great time, Lezli!

You know, for informational purposes, we're definitely going to need a detailed account of your experience next week.

 

[playwithlezli]

Glad to hear you had such a great time, Lezli!

You know, for informational purposes, we're definitely going to need a detailed account of your experience next week.

LOL-Well, I'll do my best, but it could be tough for me as I am such a shy person!

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks for the report! I'm following this thread closely.

Fury

 

[playwithlezli]

Thanks for the report! I'm following this thread closely.

Fury

That makes my heart go pitter patter and my panties get wet...

 

[FurryFury]

That makes my heart go pitter patter and my panties get wet...

*winks*

Oh really?

*smiles*

Fury

 

[CorsetLvr]

See what happens? I get busy with RL and a good thread like this pops up. I bet ya'll thought I forgot about ya'll, didn't you?

In case anyone is interested, we rented a large resort house last weekend for NYE and spent the weekend there with 8 other couples. They were all good friends from the monthly party house that we attend. I won't bore you with details, but will say that I had a smile painted on for the 3 hr. drive home. Other parts of my anatomy were not feeling quite as good. I was just a bit sore, but the good kind.

For profit on-premise clubs are illegal where we live and party houses are the local equivalent to get around the laws.

Just for the record, we are in the friends with benefits category. While I love many of our lifestyle friends, I am in love with my hubby. Our philosophy is that "swinging is a like a cake, sex is the icing."

 

[FurryFury]

See what happens? I get busy with RL and a good thread like this pops up. I bet ya'll thought I forgot about ya'll, didn't you?

In case anyone is interested, we rented a large resort house last weekend for NYE and spent the weekend there with 8 other couples. They were all good friends from the monthly party house that we attend. I won't bore you with details, but will say that I had a smile painted on for the 3 hr. drive home. Other parts of my anatomy were not feeling quite as good. I was just a bit sore, but the good kind.

For profit on-premise clubs are illegal where we live and party houses are the local equivalent to get around the laws.

Just for the record, we are in the friends with benefits category. While I love many of our lifestyle friends, I am in love with my hubby. Our philosophy is that "swinging is a like a cake, sex is the icing."

Sounds like F-U-N!!! Thanks for sharing.

Fury

 

[playwithlezli]

*winks*

Oh really?

*smiles*

Fury

Stay here long enough and you can be as bad as me. hmmmm, listening to Beyonce-Naughty Girl-ahhh-good to be bad

 

[playwithlezli]

See what happens? I get busy with RL and a good thread like this pops up. I bet ya'll thought I forgot about ya'll, didn't you?

In case anyone is interested, we rented a large resort house last weekend for NYE and spent the weekend there with 8 other couples. They were all good friends from the monthly party house that we attend. I won't bore you with details, but will say that I had a smile painted on for the 3 hr. drive home. Other parts of my anatomy were not feeling quite as good. I was just a bit sore, but the good kind.

For profit on-premise clubs are illegal where we live and party houses are the local equivalent to get around the laws.

Just for the record, we are in the friends with benefits category. While I love many of our lifestyle friends, I am in love with my hubby. Our philosophy is that "swinging is a like a cake, sex is the icing."

Well, i knew i liked your AV, but i like the way you talk too...just for the record, swinging (on-premise clubs) is now legal in Canada, if you are coming to Calgary-PM me, we are busy working our way through the clubs here....

 

[CorsetLvr]

Well, i knew i liked your AV, but i like the way you talk too...just for the record, swinging (on-premise clubs) is now legal in Canada, if you are coming to Calgary-PM me, we are busy working our way through the clubs here....

I used to travel to Calgary and Edmonton occasionally on business but that was 2 careers ago. The idea sounds wonderful though. I'm just sitting here, imagining a weekend in a chalet in Banf with you and your friends.

We've been to on-premise clubs in other states we have lived. The parties we go to are a bit more intimate and smaller. There is usually anywhere from 10-20 couples and maybe a few stray singles at one party that we go to. The other party doesn't allowed unattached singles. There is pretty much a core group of regular couples that make up most of our close lifestyle friends at the one we go to most regularly. There are usually a few couples that only come occasionally or a few totally new couples. Our favorite way to meet new couples is friends of friends so this works out well for us. We have found that if we have friends in common, then there is a better than average chance that we may have enough in common with them to establish a friendship. We have some lifestyle friends that we have never played with. While we may be good friends within the lifestyle, we may just not click sexually with them.

One thing we like about the parties is that it allows us to mix up a bit more then other forms of swinging. We have often found ourselves in a situation where I may be attracted to one partner, or both, but my hubby may not be attracted to her, or vice versa. Just for the record, I am bi and he is straight, but not homophobic. Anyway, parties allow us to play with such a couple in whatever combination suits us while the other is free to go find a partner, or partners, more to their liking.

We have off-premise clubs here too and we go to them occasionally as a "night-out" with friends but don't look at them as a main way to meet new couples. The other problem with them is that in such a sexy atmosphere, after a few drinks, if I were to touch a woman's breasts, or a guy's crotch on the dance floor I would be guilty of "lewd and lacivious" behavior according to our uptight state laws. Raids of off-premise clubs are not unheard of here. If convicted you go on the sexual criminals list with the rapists, child molestors, and flashers. That's not exactly a group I want to join. Even though these are private clubs, state law says that the only place not considered to be in public is a private home or a motel room. That's why we pretty much stick to house parties.

There is another form of swinging that is common in the Southern US. Its called a Social. Basically, the organizers usually rent a hotel conference room and host something that is a combination meet & greet and dance. There is DJ and they are usually BYOB. Many of the couples rent a hotel room for the evening. Playing occurs in the hotel rooms and there may be a hospitality suite for group activity. These are usually in smaller cities that aren't big enough to support an off-premise club, but not always, and are usually monthly type events. We organized one when we lived in a small city in E. TX but also attended one in New Orleans and Houston. They are sometimes hosted by online lifestyle groups so that there are RL social activities to go along with the online groups.

OK, enough info for now.

 

[stingostation]

That makes a lot of sense for me, and should help me realize my dreams.

Howdy! My wife and I are swingers and we LOVE the thrill, excitment and pure lust of having sex with others. I have heard a lot of people say.."How do I talk my wife/husband into that?" Well ..ya don't. You can have a discussion about fantasies, talk about sexual orientation, open communication lines, but you can't 'talk' someone into the lifestyle. Not if you want the relationship to stay stable and strong.
There are many misconceptions about swinging also. The taboos; gangbangs, swing clubs, jealousy... The list goes on. So, I thought I'd start a thread to try and help answer some of the questions, dispell the myths and maybe make some new friends here in the process. Hope to hear from you soon!

 

[playwithlezli]

used to travel to Calgary and Edmonton occasionally on business but that was 2 careers ago. The idea sounds wonderful though. I'm just sitting here, imagining a weekend in a chalet in Banf with you and your friends.

You would be more than welcome of course.

We have off-premise clubs here too and we go to them occasionally as a "night-out" with friends but don't look at them as a main way to meet new couples. The other problem with them is that in such a sexy atmosphere, after a few drinks, if I were to touch a woman's breasts, or a guy's crotch on the dance floor I would be guilty of "lewd and lacivious" behavior according to our uptight state laws. Raids of off-premise clubs are not unheard of here. If convicted you go on the sexual criminals list with the rapists, child molestors, and flashers. That's not exactly a group I want to join. Even though these are private clubs, state law says that the only place not considered to be in public is a private home or a motel room. That's why we pretty much stick to house parties.

Wow-how incredibly harsh. No offense, but I think I like where I live more and more and to think I live in one of the more conservative provinces up here!

Thank you for sharing that.

We are continuing to explore the clubs up here-now I just have to figure out how to stop attracting guys and starting hitting on the right women. sigh...guess I'll just have to keep researching Had fun at last night's outing, different club, lots of dancing, and some beautiful women. Everyone was very friendly and had lots of great conversations.

Managed to either talk to women who were only looking for guys or one particular cutie that had a boyfriend who wanted to be in the sports bars with his testosterone buddies and so she had to leave. Guess I could have responded to one lady late in the evening but by then I was whacked out and couldn't breathe anymore due to the smoke. I think it is safe to say that she is someone I like but not necessarily in a carnal sense.

Now due to crazy overorganized social planner in the house (oh wait, that is me!)
we won't have a free weekend until middle of February or so.

In the meantime, be sure to have fun without me

 

[CorsetLvr]

We are continuing to explore the clubs up here-now I just have to figure out how to stop attracting guys and starting hitting on the right women. sigh...guess I'll just have to keep researching

Women can obvioulsy be more reserved then men and can take longer. There is a general trend to wanting to get to know each other before getting involved. Of course most guys don't have that problem. They just let their dicks lead the way like a compass needle.

OK, that said, I will add that I have met some pretty hot ladies on the dance floor of swing clubs I have been to. That seems like the time and place to let your inhibitions down and make it cear that you are attracted to someone. The trick is to just let them know that their attraction is mutual.

 

[playwithlezli]

Women can obvioulsy be more reserved then men and can take longer. There is a general trend to wanting to get to know each other before getting involved. Of course most guys don't have that problem. They just let their dicks lead the way like a compass needle.

OK, that said, I will add that I have met some pretty hot ladies on the dance floor of swing clubs I have been to. That seems like the time and place to let your inhibitions down and make it cear that you are attracted to someone. The trick is to just let them know that their attraction is mutual.

Good point about the dance floor-oddly enough that is where the other lady and I did seem to be making some progress. I will definately put that into my plans.
Thanks!

 

[Snowman5933]

My SO and I are not into swinging, but I have enjoyed reading this thread. Just one question....Aren't STD's an issue since it sounds like most everyone are strangers???

Snowman

 

[hilltopper69]

hi

Yes it is snowman always use a rubber with people you do not know long.

 

[SweetErika]

Yes it is snowman always use a rubber with people you do not know long.

What about things like herpes and HPV though...STIs that can be acquired through skin contact or oral? I'd be curious to know if the use of condoms or dental dams for oral is common in the swinging community, and how the risk of STIs is viewed and dealt with overall.

Like Snowman, I worry about this, and it's one of the big reasons we really hesitate to have sexual contact with multiple people and (at least mostly-) strangers. I've had other partners while married, but only in a one-on-one or closed group situation where there was a lot of knowledge, trust, honesty, and everyone had been tested recently and we still used condoms. That's certainly not a guarantee, but it feels safer to us than sex with many people or those we don't know well.

 

[hilltopper69]

hi

Well as for me and my wife we only swing with our very close friends,and they with us that way we all know that it only between the 4 of us.Your very right we dont just swing for the sex but for the friendship first then the 4 of us can enjoy each other better,it makes it a lot better having sex with people we care deeply for. All the best to you and your husband Sweet.

 

[xxxsmooothxxx]

SweetErika, on your recommendation, my wife and I looked into SLS and are liking it alot. We had had it with craigslist and having our time wasted. We have had some experiences with people we knew, but were looking to expand. Don't really have time to start checking out clubs yet, but thats something on the horizon for us. Anyone else knows any other good sites or methods, please chime in.

As for STDs, we have been content gettting to know someone for awhile before trying anything, and then of course using condoms. As a rule of thumb, you shouldn't do something risky with someone you don't trust, and if you can't take someone at their word when they say they have been tested and are disease free, then you prolly shouldn't do anything with them.

 

[SweetErika]

SweetErika, on your recommendation, my wife and I looked into SLS and are liking it alot. We had had it with craigslist and having our time wasted. We have had some experiences with people we knew, but were looking to expand. Don't really have time to start checking out clubs yet, but thats something on the horizon for us. Anyone else knows any other good sites or methods, please chime in.

As for STDs, we have been content gettting to know someone for awhile before trying anything, and then of course using condoms. As a rule of thumb, you shouldn't do something risky with someone you don't trust, and if you can't take someone at their word when they say they have been tested and are disease free, then you prolly shouldn't do anything with them.

Thanks for the reply on the STI issue, and I'm glad SLS is working for you!