Age and Dominance

[P. B. Walker]

Damn... I gotta wait 8 more years til I'm attractive to women.... shit. LOL

<winks>

PBW

 

[Goddess Helia]

Re: Another perspective

Perhaps, it isn't hte age difference that is a common thread, rather the age group.

It sounds as though many of us could easily be swept away by men in their late 30's to 40's.

For EB, these men are younger.
For others, these men are older.

It is my belief, and I mean no disrespect to anyone, that many men find their self image and self confidence internally at or around the age of 40, rather than looking to other's and plasticity to create an image.

As self confidence is one of the most attractive traits in a Dom OR sub, the views on this thread are somewhat consistent.

ERrrr just throwing this out there!

That makes a LOT of sense MissTaken.

For me, it's not their age that's attractive. It's HOW they carry themselves.

Respectfully,
Helia

 

[artful]

Re: Another perspective

Perhaps, it isn't hte age difference that is a common thread, rather the age group.

It sounds as though many of us could easily be swept away by men in their late 30's to 40's.

For EB, these men are younger.
For others, these men are older.

It is my belief, and I mean no disrespect to anyone, that many men find their self image and self confidence internally at or around the age of 40, rather than looking to other's and plasticity to create an image.

As self confidence is one of the most attractive traits in a Dom OR sub, the views on this thread are somewhat consistent.

ERrrr just throwing this out there!

Though I had taken a few "licks" earlier,...I really don't think I had a "lick of common sense", till I reached the age of 30.-(ymmv) Now I realise just how much MORE there is to learn.-LMAO

 

[MissTaken]

Damn... I gotta wait 8 more years til I'm attractive to women.... shit. LOL

<winks>

PBW

Well, I could be MissTAken!


*smirks*

NO, PBW, you are attractive. You are also blatantly honest about where your needs lie in terms of growth and development into who you want to be.

These are strengths and remember, my observations? Well, damn, there is an exception to every rule

 

[UCE]

I don't have a clear preference, but as an older woman, I think I'd feel ashamed to be with a younger man: the fact that I would age and get really wrinkled before him would bother me. Plus I'd probably abandon him (by dying) years before he died.

However, in terms of power, I have a met 19-year old dominant who awed me so much with his responsibility and authority that when I first encountered him online, I thought he was at least 50 if not older. I was flabbergasted to learn his true age! But until that happened, I would have sworn, like some of you, that someone in his twenties (let alone a teenager!) couldn't ever dom me. The encounter with this kid taught me that as far as dominance is concerned, if he's got the right stuff, age doesn't matter in the least.

My one and only dominant, by the way, is also 13 years older than me and if I wasn't always so damned worried about his health, it'd be a perfect age gap. We've made it past our 15th year--that counts for something, doesn't it? The men I find most sexy online (lol, yeah, my master is a secure sort--I'm allowed my "crushes" and allowed to speak freely about them) are 8-9 years younger than me on average.

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, UCE.

And welcome to the forum.

Wow! 15 years, that is something special.

 

[froggy_day]

Intriging thread, I've never given age much threat. My partner and I switch and we're almost the same age. I wonder how an age difference would effect this. Oh well, throw that in the "what if" column.

I just wanted to add that I do know a couple guys that enjoy submitting to / serving younger ladies. But now that I think of it, I wouldn't be comfortable dominating either of them. It would be awkward with both of them being: 1. older then my parents 2. of large stature 3. well employeed and making much more money then I. So it probably works both ways (against younger Dom/mes)

 

[Goddess Helena]

UCE, I had a similar thing happen with my boy. I had no idea that he was ten years younger. His maturity and intelligence went a long way when he made his case to become my boy.


Helena

 

[MissTaken]

Anyone else have thoughts on age?

Even as a teen, I have always been drawn to older men.

What facet does age play in BDSM, if any?

 

[dankei]

Age is a factor in many ways, pro and con

Anyone else have thoughts on age?

Even as a teen, I have always been drawn to older men.

What facet does age play in BDSM, if any?

As a male Dom, or just as a male, I have always been attracted to older women. The larger the gap in age the more exciting it became. Now, at 43, I find that I am still attracted to older women but I am also excited by differences in age in the other direction. As play partners it really doesn't make any difference to me what the age is but it does when it comes to a relationship with someone who is also, or going to be, my SO. Then age plays a role. In that area someone about 10 years younger would be about perfect for me.

Dominating older women who are just discovering their long repressed sexuality and desires and teaching them the pleasures that they have missed all their lives is very rewarding and it is the same to guide younger women.

For me though it is more a question of the woman's strength and presence. The gift of her submission by a confident woman who is strong and takes charge of her life is much more precious to me than that of a weak woman no matter what age.

BTW MissTaken, I have so enjoyed your thoughts as I have read your posts. Your submission must truly be a wonderful gift.

 

[LadyHeart]

I was 20 yrs old when I became a submissive. My Dom was in his 40s. Now As I identify as a Dominant, I find that most of my play partners are closer to my own age. I'm 27 and most of my play partners are between 25-35. I have played with older people and enjoyed every second. I don't think that if I was still in a submissive role, I could be with a Dominant that wasn't at least a little bit older than me.


LadyHeart

My Stories

 

[Desdemona]

I've changed my opinion on this topic. I no longer think age has much to do with it. Its all about the strength of the individual Dominant and about the magic between us.

 

[Justina123]

Why would a 40 year old woman be interested in a 20 year old man? Except for a desire to dominate. Outside of bdsm, he might fuck her for a while. But only till a sweet young thing comes along

Well, before I met my current Dominant, I (46) was dating a very sexy Dominant (27). Let me tell you, he had a very commanding presence and an extremely sexy body! And he told me he prefers older women 'cause of their emotional maturity. We eventually stopped dating 'cause I met and fell hard for B, (who is a couple years older than I am, by the way).

Anyway, as said above, strength of personality is way more important than age, but I do think it's possible for a younger man to be interested in an older woman, even one like me who is not "model material" or anything!

-justina

 

[lark sparrow]

How many subs are or wish to be involved with an older Dom/me?

For me, I know that when a 22 year old top contacts me, I want to chuckle. I don't mean disrespect, but I just can't imagine being topped by someone 15 years younger than I.

I am involved with a younger Domme. I would have probably had much the same opinion before this, and still do to a certain degree. 15 years jr. would be a stretch for me, but I think there are probably a few individuals out there who could pull it off, though this would be a rare breed.

When I was 22, I began a 5 year relationship with a woman who was 16 years my senior. I have done it both ways, but generally tend towards people the same approximate age or older by about 5 years. Older women have always held some attraction for me.

My current Domme is 27, I am 34. She has the intelligence, sharp dominant instinct, empathy, strength of character, etc. that I need to surrender, despite being 7 years my jr. Within these age gaps there are probably going to be certain differences in life experience, but any relationship between individuals will have it's differences, either shared and celebrated, or causing a rift.

We all know examples of age and maturity having no parallel and being universes apart - it's really an individual measure. I liked how Desdemona summed it up.

 

[lovetoread]

I've mentioned before that fact that I have not met anyone that was my age or younger. I mean there is one that I know that could be a dom if he so chose to be, but not one that was already a dom.

I would not want someone, if I ever do this again, that was not experienced.

I no longer care about age. I want experience. I want confidence.

If they happen to be younger, then so be it. If they happen to be alot older than I am, than thats fine too.

What it all boils down to is experience.

 

[k_girl23]

I've never been in a true D/s relationship, however I know from relationships I have had that I tend to go for the men who are at least my age, but no older than 29. 23-29 is the age I find I have the most in common with the men, I don't want a father figure (went out with a guy when I was 19 who was 29 and he was a bit too serious), but I also don't want a guy who is really immature. I guess it isn't really about age but about their personality, and so far that is what I have found.

 

[aerofreak]

I've never been in a true D/s relationship, however I know from relationships I have had that I tend to go for the men who are at least my age, but no older than 29. 23-29 is the age I find I have the most in common with the men, I don't want a father figure (went out with a guy when I was 19 who was 29 and he was a bit too serious), but I also don't want a guy who is really immature. I guess it isn't really about age but about their personality, and so far that is what I have found.

in our search, we have noticed that the older guys are more sincere, but the younger guys have more in common with us... right now, our age range for the ones that we have liked enough to talk to more than once is 18-45... but the ones that we talk to most are the 20 to 30 year olds (although we have one exception... thank god he just had his 18th b-day).
since we are looking for compatability, we are pretty much sticking with the ones close to our ages, but it doesn't really matter to us... my first b/f turned 40 shortly before i turned 21, and we had lots of things in common, so i definately agree that it's personality and not age that is important.

 

[calypso_21]

Re: Another perspective

It is my belief, and I mean no disrespect to anyone, that many men find their self image and self confidence internally at or around the age of 40, rather than looking to other's and plasticity to create an image.

As self confidence is one of the most attractive traits in a Dom OR sub, the views on this thread are somewhat consistent.

ERrrr just throwing this out there!

Ahah my first post to the BDSM...

I was caught by your comment here. I don't necessarily think it is a matter of age all in all but rather it boils down to the self confidence and actualization...there are plenty of men who are confident and self assured but I think it goes deeper into knowing what one wants in all aspects of their lives and in their relationships. I want someone who can lead knowing where they have already been and where they are going.

However though I stated age is not the most important factor for everyone, it is for me. I am just not attracted to anyone younger than myself. I've always gravitated toward older men. The mature, strong, intellectual types who have a charismatic pull to them always lure me.

 

[TimeCrisis]

quick thought

Just a quick note in here. Im a 19yr old novice looking to learn a few things from a wiser older domme. PM me

 

[WreckingMachine]

This is something I've oft wondered about. I find that I have a hard time submitting to a woman my own age. My first D/s relationship was with a women 12 years my senior, so maybe that plays into it. I just find that younger women are not as inclined to Dom as the more mature and experienced women. I guess I would not have a problem submitting to a woman my age or younger, but she would have to be very stern and experienced for it to work.

 

[welshman]

i also perfer an older dom. i think it just comes more naturally to take commands from someone older. and the whole "yes sir, no sir" plays into it too.

There is something familiar about you, I can't quite think what

 

[Nusance]

So noone would be intrested in a 22 year old??? I can be either a dom or sub, i prefer sub.. But i think it would be hot to have a younger dom.. sorta adds to the humilation....

 

[Ebonyfire]

So noone would be intrested in a 22 year old??? I can be either a dom or sub, i prefer sub.. But i think it would be hot to have a younger dom.. sorta adds to the humilation....

I suppose it would depend. See I have a 23 year old daughter. I have been approached by 21 - 23 year olds, and it just feels like child molestation.

Others may take a different view.

 

[Goddess Helena]

Here is that view

Welcome to lit, Nusance.

There is nothing wrong with 22.

In fact, My boy is that age.

I think that there are enough people who enjoy a variety of types and personal styles that you will find someone who would love to have you as a sub or Dom.


Helena

 

[Nusance]

I can understand thatk, it would be wierd having your kids friends dominating you.... Im sorta new here and to the bdsm scene, none of the girls ive dated were eve into it at all...