Age

[catalina_francisco]

The only thing that concerns Me is this. You are young and you are a not a dominant, so the situation does not apply to you. So as for it not being "not being appealing to you"; why would it be? It does not concern you.

If we were talking about male Doms, we would find you a lot more circumspect in your posting, and not so judgmental.

Throughout My time here at Lit I have found that the attitude of many female subs toward female dominants is problematic.

Another reason I do not have female submissives. I am not in the mood for their "stuff."

Can relate to this thought process. Women on the whole are their own worst enemies at times, always being first in line to attack one of thier own. No wonder patriarchy flourished undisturbed for so long.

Catalina

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

The only thing that concerns Me is this. You are young and you are a not a dominant, so the situation does not apply to you. So as for it not being "not being appealing to you"; why would it be? It does not concern you.

If we were talking about male Doms, we would find you a lot more circumspect in your posting, and not so judgmental.

Throughout My time here at Lit I have found that the attitude of many female subs toward female dominants is problematic.

Another reason I do not have female submissives. I am not in the mood for their "stuff."

I have a question for You Eb. I understand Your reasoning for not taking female subs, for the most part. But, to put it in the perspective of the topic, do you think that age plays into it at all? Are younger female subs apt to have more "stuff" than older female subs? Or are we all just to full of "stuff" in general. I'm not being confrontative here, just curious.

~anelize

 

[Ebonyfire]

I have a question for You Eb. I understand Your reasoning for not taking female subs, for the most part. But, to put it in the perspective of the topic, do you think that age plays into it at all? Are younger female subs apt to have more "stuff" than older female subs? Or are we all just to full of "stuff" in general. I'm not being confrontative here, just curious.

~anelize

I find that females (in general) have more "stuff".

For example, not to belittle or discount any woman's experiences, but I find femsubs (in general) to be overly concerned with the negative happenings their lives.

Now as a Black woman living in the 50s, 60s, 70s, etc. I have tons of negative stories I could recount, and I know at least 10 other women in RL who post on this forum who have their own tales to tell.

But only the femsubs keep bring it up over and over again ad nauseum.

Now I have found that the younger subs, seem to milk this victim scenario more that the older femsubs.

Understand, this is an observation, not an indictment of anyone. But if the shoe fits wear it.

Before you call Me insensitive and uncaring, remember one thing, just because I do not post My business, that does not mean don't have a story to tell.

So, I have to say that when it comes to femsubs, in general I will pass.

These are the reasons:

1) They whine way too much
2) They are too self involved
3) I am not bisexual.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Thanks for your reply Eb, I always appreciate your insight and straight up honesty.

~anelize

 

[s'lara]

<snip>But only the femsubs keep bring it up over and over again ad nauseum.

Now I have found that the younger subs, seem to milk this victim scenario more that the older femsubs.

Understand, this is an observation, not an indictment of anyone. But if the shoe fits wear it.

Before you call Me insensitive and uncaring, remember one thing, just because I do not post My business, that does not mean don't have a story to tell.

So, I have to say that when it comes to femsubs, in general I will pass.

These are the reasons:

1) They whine way too much
2) They are too self involved
3) I am not bisexual.

Well, that particular shoe isn't my fit. The generalizations are tough to take, but yours make.

lara

 

[Ebonyfire]

Well, that particular shoe isn't my fit. The generalizations are tough to take, but yours make.

lara

If they are rough for you, and they do not apply, think of how it seems to those whom my statements fit to a T?

Just because they are generalizations, that does not mean they do not hold truth.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Just because they are generalizations, that does not mean they do not hold truth.

You rarely do NOT hit the mark, Eb. And your post is right on target, as usual.

 

[Ebonyfire]

If they are rough for you, and they do not apply, think of how it seems to those whom my statements fit to a T?

Just because they are generalizations, that does not mean they do not hold truth.

And I am not making any references to My favorite Mod, MissT. She is not a whiner.

 

[lark sparrow]

Well, that particular shoe isn't my fit. The generalizations are tough to take, but yours make.

lara

lol yes, and manages to alienate about 95% of this forum comprised mainly of fem subs, het male Doms, bisexual Switches and Dommes who partner with fem subs.

I wonder if the fem subs who agree consider themselves and their fem sub friends the exception to the accepted generalization? I guess to question would be whiney and self-involved.

Anyhow, wasn't the topic geared towards relationships between an older submissive and younger Dominant?

 

[Ebonyfire]

lol yes, and manages to alienate about 95% of this forum comprised mainly of fem subs, het male Doms, bisexual Switches and Dommes who partner with fem subs.

I wonder if the fem subs who agree consider themselves and their fem sub friends the exception to the accepted generalization? I guess to question would be whiney and self-involved.

Anyhow, wasn't the topic geared towards relationships between an older submissive and younger Dominant?

I do not think it will alienate any one with a decent ounce of self respect and self knowledge. And it is still to the point.

So what if it was? Is there something about older dominants and younger submissives you find unappealing, or is it because the subject does not apply to you?

 

[lark sparrow]

lol well, if it doesn't apply to me! me!! me!!! as a self-absorbed fem sub then it obviously doesn't belong. my comment wasn't about age though.

It simply seemed (in reverse) like a het male Dom saying - "I don't accept male subs, because male subs are whiney and self-involved... and I'm not bisexual." Which of course, is anyone's right to believe/say, but I would question that blanket statement too.

I completely understand the sexual orientation aspect and personal preference. I'm just a little surprised by your take on female submissives in general when I hear it. But, I can live with it... mileage can and does vary.

 

[Ebonyfire]

It simply seemed (in reverse) like a het male Dom saying - "I don't accept male subs, because male subs are whiney and self-involved... and I'm not bisexual." Which of course, is anyone's right to believe/say, but I would question that blanket statement too.

Lark, there are always exceptions to generalizations. But we have already discussed and notated the differences between male and female subs. Read the posts. They speak for themselves.

Let a male Dom with males subs state his case. I doubt if there are many who will come forward.

So my statements stand.

As for you questioning My statements, go ahead. You are an adult and can question whatever you like.

However, your questioning does not make any of my statements untrue. I always state my views on what I have observed firsthand, not esoteric research that smacks of fantasy and fiction.

Believe what you like.

 

[lark sparrow]

Let a male Dom with males subs state his case. I doubt if there are many who will come forward.

So my statements stand.

In turn, as you have no female submissives, your statements are based on second hand observations, just as het. male Doms statements regarding male submissives would be.

However, your questioning does not make any of my statements untrue. I always state my views on what I have observed firsthand, not esoteric research that smacks of fantasy and fiction.

As are mine, Ebony.

Believe what you like.
I will - I was just curious about your views, as you told another that she was speaking on something that she was not involved in and did not concern her - which seems the case with you and female submissives. I would personally be more interested and open to your insight and working knowledge of male service subs, but as always we are all welcome to our opinions, and I can respect yours, as yours.

 

[s'lara]

Eb stated her past experience led her to her conclusion about femsubs. i guess an "In my experience..." would have made that clearer.



i wasn't questioning the truth in the experiences you have had Ebony. i was taken aback at the sweeping remark concerning all femsubs as you didn't narrow it down to the one's you encountered as opposed to the one's you don't know. Again, you own the opinion and it isn't my job to slap on the banner emblazoned with "Non-whiny, selfless and stuffless subs unite!"
*chuckles*

lara

 

[Ebonyfire]

Eb stated her past experience led her to her conclusion about femsubs. i guess an "In my experience..." would have made that clearer.



i wasn't questioning the truth in the experiences you have had Ebony. i was taken aback at the sweeping remark concerning all femsubs as you didn't narrow it down to the one's you encountered as opposed to the one's you don't know. Again, you own the opinion and it isn't my job to slap on the banner emblazoned with "Non-whiny, selfless and stuffless subs unite!"
*chuckles*

lara

My remarks are based on the femsubs who have posted here, which I made clear several times.

It is the words of the subs who have posted here that have are the basis if My comments.

That is not second hand.

If a sub makes these statements, should I assume they are lying about their experiences cause I was not standing over them when these things occurred?
They posted their whines in a public forum for all the world to see.

Do not tell Me what I should have said. It is obvious to Me you did not read what I have said for the entire time I have posted here.

I was clear in My posts, your own lack of understanding is your problem not Mine.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I was speaking about the information posted by Subs on this public forum.

I am assuming they were telling the truth. Should I assume otherwise?

You are not getting My point.

If you do not want Me to comment about your business, do yourself a favor and do not post it.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Note to Everyone

This is the last post in which I will comment on this thread.


All the the statements I have made are observations that are well documented within the various threads in this forum.


So please spare Me the histrionics.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Eb stated her past experience led her to her conclusion about femsubs. i guess an "In my experience..." would have made that clearer.

Personally speaking, I see an adult oriented discussion board as just that, adult. I am becoming increasingly weary of having to remember to fill half of each post with such things as 'in my experience', IMO, IMHO, 'my opinion only', 'understanding this is my opinion only', 'understanding everyone is entitled to have their own opinion', 'realising my experience may not be another's', and the list goes on. Most times I think it is easy enough to understand, or at least presume, the poster is naturally presenting the situation or issue as they see it without having to ask each one who does not fill their words with disclaimers if that is what they are meaning, or accuse them of speaking for everyone or out of turn.

We are all supposed to be adults here, and maybe I am wrong, but for me I enjoy hearing everyone's perspectives and think I am not alone, so wouldn't it be more conducive to continued exchange of ideas and discussion to apply a little common sense, read between the lines perhaps, and not look for problems where none exist? Respecting individuality and freedom of speech are a must if the discussions are to remain interesting, and yes, sometimes that means respecting another's opinion as theirs and not assuming they are trying to include you in it, or make you adopt their position.

Catalina

 

[lark sparrow]

I was speaking about the information posted by Subs on this public forum.

I am assuming they were telling the truth. Should I assume otherwise?

You are not getting My point.

If you do not want Me to comment about your business, do yourself a favor and do not post it.

Ditto on all of the above.

 

[lark sparrow]

Personally speaking, I see an adult oriented discussion board as just that, adult. I am becoming increasingly weary of having to remember to fill half of each post with such things as 'in my experience', IMO, IMHO, 'my opinion only', 'understanding this is my opinion only', 'understanding everyone is entitled to have their own opinion', 'realising my experience may not be another's', and the list goes on. Most times I think it is easy enough to understand, or at least presume, the poster is naturally presenting the situation or issue as they see it without having to ask each one who does not fill their words with disclaimers if that is what they are meaning, or accuse them of speaking for everyone or out of turn.

We are all supposed to be adults here, and maybe I am wrong, but for me I enjoy hearing everyone's perspectives and think I am not alone, so wouldn't it be more conducive to continued exchange of ideas and discussion to apply a little common sense, read between the lines perhaps, and not look for problems where none exist? Respecting individuality and freedom of speech are a must if the discussions are to remain interesting, and yes, sometimes that means respecting another's opinion as theirs and not assuming they are trying to include you in it, or make you adopt their position.

Catalina

So let me get this straight. We all post our opinions, and no one should respond to anyone else's unless they agree for this adult discussion? Generally speaking I think Eb knows her stuff, and I enjoy her posts. In my mind, this one opinion was an ignorant statement and still is, but I will leave it at that as she has shown her inability to be questioned unless her position is adopted and resorts to escalating and then dismissing.

 

[catalina_francisco]

So let me get this straight. We all post our opinions, and no one should respond to anyone else's unless they agree for this adult discussion? Generally speaking I think Eb knows her stuff, and I enjoy her posts. In my mind, this one opinion was an ignorant statement and still is, but I will leave it at that as she has shown her inability to be questioned unless her position is adopted and resorts to escalating and then dismissing.

No, LS, you have failed to get it straight. I do not recall saying people should, or could not respond to anyone. I did say however that I am finding the current mood of the board often straying more into the kiddies sandpit mentality where no-one can say anything, much less without accompanying it with a lengthy disclaimer. Initially I found it a great place for adults to converse in adult terms, but lately there is a change where many just can't accept anyone saying, 'your opinion is yours, but not mine', without getting all bent out of shape. Having individual opinions does not have to be reduced to personal attacks and in the wise words of Eb, 'histrionics'.

If you comprehended what I said about 'open' discussion, and the need to encourage it, I would think common sense would follow that to not respond to anyone is going to kill it real quick. It is the retaliatory posts chipping someone for their opinion and chastising them for not saying it was just their opinion and experience that do just this....commonly known as road blocks. So in the interests of continued discussions and not threads consisting of a minimum number of posts (like 2-5 each), I would hope everyone could adopt a more adult outlook and tolerance here at least.

I had considered a couple of weeks ago finally making a signature for my posts which would be a disclaimer announcing they were my opinion/experience only, that I did not insist on others adhering or agreeing with them, and that everyone was entitled to thiwer opinion....but then I thought it was just plain ridiculous. I am reviewing that decision as it seems it will save a lot of time, and stop me getting distracted from what I want to say, while trying to remeber to pepper each post with multiple disclaimers which even then still seem to set off a certain element who do not believe anyone should have an opinion that differs from theirs. I do so hope this has made it clearer...if not, I can try again as I do not give up easily on things I really believe in.

Catalina

 

[lark sparrow]

Adult outlook and tolerance needs to go both ways to exist. Comprehension must flow both ways also. There is more than one point of view in an adult conversation.

Your feelings about the board and your sigline have been noted.

my point is geared to someone making a blanket statement about an entire group of people, and my disagreement, which was met with increasing escalation of snottiness for not bowing to the truth of the statement and then dismissal.

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

my dom is 16 yrs my senior

 

[s'lara]

i find using bullet points helps with coherency:

- No need for me to respond to Ebony as she made it clear it was her last post on the thread and it is fruitless to submit comments to someone who will not respond and is unwilling to hear you out. As i said originally, her generalizations were hers to make, but made it clear i didn't agree. i think that horse has been beaten enough.

- Catalina: She made a blanket statement i did not agree with. If you found no problem with her statement, so be it. i did. i am not chipping away at her, i wanted it to be clear that she spoke of submissive's she encountered and thought it unwise to apply the same labels to those she doesn't know. If that is chipping, then i'm a woodchuck. Kiddies sandpit? Personal attacks? Have i missed something? It appears that i disagreed with Ebony, however, i believe i was cordial in saying so and without questioning her experience or whether what she said was true of those she encountered ... my only issue, as a femsub, was that it isn't true of ALL submissives. So yes, i am a little confused at the defensiveness and Ebony's references to whether she actually encountered submissives of this kind. i don't doubt it ... i just had a problem with the generalization which i made clear was hers to make.

To the other posters, sorry for the hijack and back to the discussion about Age.

lara

 

[s'lara]

One last note, i don't see evidence of any histrionics other than defensiveness on both sides. i find it amusing that a few short sentences warranted this kind of description ... chuckles.

Ahh i will just chalk it up to flaring tempers and so forth.

Bottom line - We're all entitled to our beliefs and i will reiterate that everyone owns their opinion through and through. We're not here to verbally stroke each other and it wouldn't be fun if we did. i personally enjoy the differences of opinion and the interesting ways we state those opinions. Everyone has a style and that's just fine by me ... makes for interesting reading.

lara