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Annoncing my poem! You jey!

TheRainMan said:
of course.

how do you think i spotted it.
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A spotted loon!! How rare. You better hide it. The vizier eats ducks so I imagine loons are probably fair game too.
 
Sara Crewe said:
A spotted loon!! How rare. You better hide it. The vizier eats ducks so I imagine loons are probably fair game too.
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;) loons are a little (okay, a lot) fishy. I don't know this through experience, but I have heard it is so.
 
champagne1982 said:
;) loons are a little (okay, a lot) fishy. I don't know this through experience, but I have heard it is so.
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GASP! Champ! How could you? You are one of the pretty bird eaters!! Oh sure you say you didn't but really how can we believe this...


I'm sorry but I may have to turn you into the vizier. I do hear good things about our dungeons...
 
Does the dungeon have a rack? (or is that the vizier who has a rack?) I could use a lil stretch. Flaying is out though. Do I get to design the branding iron?

Sincerely,

Loonie Toonie :p
 
champagne1982 said:
Does the dungeon have a rack? (or is that the vizier who has a rack?) I could use a lil stretch. Flaying is out though. Do I get to design the branding iron?

Sincerely,

Loonie Toonie :p
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M'kay.

Note to Vizier and all dungeon people:

Champ appears way too excited about the dungeon for it to have the desired effect. Go to plan B




Okay, people stop talking to me. I have no self control and I am supposed to be writing a poem. It's all of your faults if I make you weep with my stupidity on the 30/30 thread tomorrow. I take no responsibility.
 
Sara Crewe said:
M'kay.

Note to Vizier and all dungeon people:

Champ appears way too excited about the dungeon for it to have the desired effect. Go to plan B




Okay, people stop talking to me. I have no self control and I am supposed to be writing a poem. It's all of your faults if I make you weep with my stupidity on the 30/30 thread tomorrow. I take no responsibility.
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Is it alright for the people to speak yet, your most revered nymphosity? I hope the writing went well; I'm under a similar bit of pressure at the moment and I know how terribly distracting all these beautiful, twisted souls are in here when I'm trying to get something done. Must you people be so fascinating and hilarious?

I must say I am absolutely impressed with the power you hold over the people, Sylphicious One. Most of my employers have been such spineless types. I gotta respect someone who thinks to drug MY wine at night.

If the lovely Champ would like a personal tour of the dungeon sometime, I'm always happy to be guide to those with, ahem, similar tastes to my own. Quite proud of my little collection, too. My selection of specialty racks is also up for an award at the convention this year.

Back later. I have some things that need... sharpening.

bijou
 
unpredictablebijou said:
Is it alright for the people to speak yet, your most revered nymphosity? I hope the writing went well; I'm under a similar bit of pressure at the moment and I know how terribly distracting all these beautiful, twisted souls are in here when I'm trying to get something done. Must you people be so fascinating and hilarious?

I must say I am absolutely impressed with the power you hold over the people, Sylphicious One. Most of my employers have been such spineless types. I gotta respect someone who thinks to drug MY wine at night.

If the lovely Champ would like a personal tour of the dungeon sometime, I'm always happy to be guide to those with, ahem, similar tastes to my own. Quite proud of my little collection, too. My selection of specialty racks is also up for an award at the convention this year.

Back later. I have some things that need... sharpening.

bijou
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I was feeling the pressure 'cause I had fooled around for so long but I was only teasing about not talkin' to me. Unfortunately I wasn't teasing about the level of writing that might result.

I have a pretty solid spine. It only gets mushy on nights like tonight when it has consumed too many cocktails. In the next hour I am at anyone's mercy.


Nice too see you writing poems, your Vizier-ness. I will read it tomorrow when I am no longer seeing two poems 'cause I am pretty sure you only wrote one.


Hope everything is nice and sharp tomorrow. Nothin' worse than being dull.

Is it wrong to sleep in a dress? I don't think I can do pj's tonight. The effort might kill me.
 
Sara Crewe said:
I was feeling the pressure 'cause I had fooled around for so long but I was only teasing about not talkin' to me. Unfortunately I wasn't teasing about the level of writing that might result.

I have a pretty solid spine. It only gets mushy on nights like tonight when it has consumed too many cocktails. In the next hour I am at anyone's mercy.


Nice too see you writing poems, your Vizier-ness. I will read it tomorrow when I am no longer seeing two poems 'cause I am pretty sure you only wrote one.


Hope everything is nice and sharp tomorrow. Nothin' worse than being dull.

Is it wrong to sleep in a dress? I don't think I can do pj's tonight. The effort might kill me.
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The depth of my regret that I missed your single hour of vulnerability is beyond description. And that's not just the vizier talkin'.

You are more than allowed, you are encouraged, to sleep in your dresses. Damn the cleaning bills, it's adorable, and therefore worth it. But y'know, naked is always good too...

I am fond of you and therefore completely disqualified from evaluating the quality of your writing. However, I haven't seen any dogs, so just quit it anyway. We're all being terribly brave in that foxhole.

*drunkenly throwing whiskey bottles at the kids in the yard, late on Saturday night*

bijou
 
unpredictablebijou said:
The depth of my regret that I missed your single hour of vulnerability is beyond description. And that's not just the vizier talkin'.

You are more than allowed, you are encouraged, to sleep in your dresses. Damn the cleaning bills, it's adorable, and therefore worth it. But y'know, naked is always good too...

I am fond of you and therefore completely disqualified from evaluating the quality of your writing. However, I haven't seen any dogs, so just quit it anyway. We're all being terribly brave in that foxhole.

*drunkenly throwing whiskey bottles at the kids in the yard, late on Saturday night*

bijou
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I must admit that it does not happen often. Nymph armor is fairly fierce and it gets laid down with about the same frequency as visits from Hailey's comet

Excellent. I considered naked but went with the dress because it required less effort than naked. It was also warmer at 3:00am.

Hmm, people who are fond of me are completely disqualified from evaluating the quality of my writing...soooo... all I need to do to dominate the literary world is make every single editor fond of me. Got any spells for that? I think I might be all out.

Quit throwin' round your bottles. We are a green castle. Go put them in the recycling bin.

-The Little Princess
 
Sara Crewe said:
I must admit that it does not happen often. Nymph armor is fairly fierce and it gets laid down with about the same frequency as visits from Hailey's comet

Excellent. I considered naked but went with the dress because it required less effort than naked. It was also warmer at 3:00am.

Hmm, people who are fond of me are completely disqualified from evaluating the quality of my writing...soooo... all I need to do to dominate the literary world is make every single editor fond of me. Got any spells for that? I think I might be all out.

Quit throwin' round your bottles. We are a green castle. Go put them in the recycling bin.

-The Little Princess
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I'll pick up the bottles in the morning, but I gotta have something to chuck at the damn kids.

I do, in fact, have a spell to make editors fall in love with you. But the consequences of that are so dire, I really can't recommend using it. Do you really want a bunch of editors chasing you around? There are easier ways to dominate the literary world. Drink a lot, fake an early suicide, get rabies, swim the Hellespont, that sort of thing.

Speaking of writing, I was thinking about what that spammer said and we need to get serious in here, right now. I mean, this thread started out with poetry, by god, and we have gotten entirely off track. (Where IS that court poet, anyway?)

So here's the project. The "challenge" as they like to say around here.

Posts in haiku, terza rima or iambic pentameter, regardless of topic, will be rewarded with court favors including meaningless titles of nobility, your coat of arms on a plaque in the sanctuary, and sparkly smiley icons that raise your self-esteem.

More challenging forms will be rewarded accordingly, and true genius will earn saucy, lascivious PM's from the Vizier. Posts in prose will be acceptable but conscious word choice and poetic devices are encouraged.

Posters who use 4-stress iambic rhymed couplets will be taken to the dungeon immediately so that I can work out the stresses of the day.

Suggested topics included, but are not limited to:

Fawning poetry about Her Most High Sparkliness' various attributes
What to do about that monkey
Juicy gossip about members of the court
What evil fate may have befallen the Poet, and who's responsible, and why I wasn't informed
Whether hereditary insanity in despots is an asset or a liability
Why you should win this year's private tour of the Vizier's personal dungeon
Your entry in the annual Offering of Tribute to the Most Sylphacious One. And it better not be the dessicated head of John the Baptist. We have three.

Let's try to get serious around here, people. This is a writing forum.

bijou
 
I already have rabies. I thought you knew.

There once was a vizier named Jewel
who challenged Sara to a dual
but she was too lazy
called everyone crazy
and instead went for a swim in the pool.
 
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Sara Crewe said:
There once was a vizier named Jewel
who challenged Sara to a dual
but she was too lazy
called everyone crazy
and instead went for a swim in the pool.
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Your limerick, highness, clever though it is
contains one error in its basic plot:
Toward you I'd raise no blade or sharpened tool
Nor threaten you with any sort of harm

But if it's dual speed of which you speak,
and weapon's nature blunted, pink and thick,
then I am yours, so throw the gauntlet down
along with dress, and panties... (wear the crown.)

bijou
 
Sara Crewe said:
My head prefers the lightness of being
without the pressure of a jeweled crown
and a naked life without lies, seeing
truth with the simplicity of a clown.

Often times you may see me as a fool
a small speck of fluff easily dismissed
like a drop of water in a salt pool
or milk and eggs on a grocery list.





The nymph will be back to finish her sonnet later when the dishes are done. Anyone picking at my lack of iambic-ness will lose their head.
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You're the High Nymph of Shenanigans. You can be anapestic, even, and no one will mind at all.

Don't step in that pile of spondees over there. Haven't gotten round to cleaning up after the Viking horde went through last.

bijou
 
unpredictablebijou said:
... You can be anapestic, even,

bijou
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That sounds painful and possibly contagious.


There I sonneted for you. You are quite obviously my favourite vizier. It was incredibly painful and I shant be repeating the process any time soon. I think a sonnet every ten years is a good policy.


I will now go sit in a tree and drink martinis ...or maybe margaritas while the other poet-people write poems.
 
Sara Crewe said:
That sounds painful and possibly contagious.


There I sonneted for you. You are quite obviously my favourite vizier. It was incredibly painful and I shant be repeating the process any time soon. I think a sonnet every ten years is a good policy.


I will now go sit in a tree and drink martinis ...or maybe margaritas while the other poet-people write poems.
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Save a martini or seven for me; I'll be there shortly.

I shall immediately issue a decree that anyone who writes a sonnet more often than every ten years better have a Damn Good Excuse.

And as I have worked long enough in town
I go to country pleasures presently.
I'll miss the Lit crowd's finest hour, and frown,
But read it in the morning, greedily.

bijou
 
Ode To Nymphs And Viziers

They rule the poets with a velvet glove
drawn over their fists of steel
they hand out pain as if t'were love
and pleasing kisses are what we feel
when lips descend from the throne on high
to close on offerings of moon and sky
for the nymph who rests there on mattressed pea
and the vizier wickedly plots with glee
the downfall of kingdom's beneath her hand
the thrill of destruction across the land
A ruler who stalks behind the throne
to draw the lines that limit our words
a decade for sonnets to be buried, like bones
once every ten years to fly free as birds.
 
champagne1982 said:
Ode To Nymphs And Viziers

They rule the poets with a velvet glove
drawn over their fists of steel
they hand out pain as if t'were love
and pleasing kisses are what we feel
when lips descend from the throne on high
to close on offerings of moon and sky
for the nymph who rests there on mattressed pea
and the vizier wickedly plots with glee
the downfall of kingdom's beneath her hand
the thrill of destruction across the land
A ruler who stalks behind the throne
to draw the lines that limit our words
a decade for sonnets to be buried, like bones
once every ten years to fly free as birds.
Click to expand...


Dammit Carrie, quit it. Now. Do you want to be spanked or sumpthin?






:cool:
 
She clearly wants to be dragged off to the dungeon. Look at all the four-stress couplets.
Goody. I've been wanting to show off the rack selection to an educated admirer of such technology.

You just come right over here with me, my dear, and let me show you around.

bijou
 
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champagne1982 said:
Ode To Nymphs And Viziers

They rule the poets with a velvet glove
drawn over their fists of steel
they hand out pain as if t'were love
and pleasing kisses are what we feel
when lips descend from the throne on high
to close on offerings of moon and sky
for the nymph who rests there on mattressed pea
and the vizier wickedly plots with glee
the downfall of kingdom's beneath her hand
the thrill of destruction across the land
A ruler who stalks behind the throne
to draw the lines that limit our words
a decade for sonnets to be buried, like bones
once every ten years to fly free as birds.
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I hoped that I could guide this phrase
to be yet something that amazed!
A blessed and stressèd syllable, q.v.:
rests there on matressèded pea!

But no! Oh, no. 'Twas not to be.
Champ got the stresses right first time.
And she, in clever Canuck rhyme
(well, English) made there quite a poem.

So I am stuck corrupting Pope:
How my yearning is precarious in Spring;
My thought and wastrelness turn into that that thing
Where now her foxiness's shown hollow. So, I think
That bonking her is probably not my thing.​
Pecunia non olet.
 
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MTVM said:
I hoped that I could guide this phrase
to be yet something that amazed!
A blessed and stressèd syllable, q.v.:
rests there on matressèded pea!

But no! Oh, no. 'Twas not to be.
Champ got the stresses right first time.
And she, in clever Canuck rhyme
(well, English) made there quite a poem.

So I am stuck corrupting Pope:
How my yearning is precarious in Spring;
My thought and wastrelness turn into that that thing
Where now her foxiness's shown hollow. So, I think
That bonking her is probably not my thing.​
Pecunia non olet.
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Double Dactyl Presented on an Illuminated Scroll

Byzantine Popeian
MTVMVT
jewel-swaddled poet
of Nymphess's land

managed routinely a
parthenogenesis,
winning him squarely
the Grand Vizier's hand.
 
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