Any Women Not Okay With Receiving Cunnilingus?

[Lucien_Al]

My wife of nearly 54 years wouldn't let me go down on her until we'd been married almost 18 years. After 36 years of 'Eating Out At The Y' she still wonders why she waited so long. Just so you know, I'm turning 78 the first of next month, and she is turning 77, 6 days later.

I have definitely found that with older women. Society has told them its dirty and to get that change of mindset is difficult.

In my case my wife had never had anyone go down on her until we met by which time she was 54.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

Quick question for everyone...

Do you think that cunnilingus has been buit up to a holy grain where all women should love it and all men should be experts in it?

I'm not sure it should be such a big deal. Like, the guy who told me he was going to go down on me for an hour or more - no thanks. You don't earn badges for endurance.

I like being eaten, but I like other stuff too/more. It's just one item on a menu, not the main course. You can do a lot more to me with 2 fingers and a thumb than with your tongue. Or put your fingers in me while you eat me. Or (YUM) put a finger up my arse when you eat me.

 

[masterslave00]

I like being eaten, but I like other stuff too/more. It's just one item on a menu, not the main course. You can do a lot more to me with 2 fingers and a thumb than with your tongue. Or put your fingers in me while you eat me. Or (YUM) put a finger up my arse when you eat me.

That's my girl... And same for me - I love blowjobs, but blowjob with finger or more up my butthole is in another dimension...

 

[masterslave00]

Quick question for everyone...

Do you think that cunnilingus has been buit up to a holy grain where all women should love it and all men should be experts in it?

Yes, seems like that more and more often.

 

[kathyisgr65]

I hate shitty head .
Either figure it out or stop

 

[Truegent_ZA]

Personally I have found that it depends on the.... mentality I guess could serve....if a woman is not feeling all that "clean or confident about herself "she would most likely stop you from going down on her...

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I have always felt cunnilingus is far more intimate than penetrative sex. When I was younger and (believe it or not) sluttier, there were 3 occasions when I was making out, or more, with guys I probably would have had sex with, if they didn’t ask to eat me out first. They seemed to take it as me not being interested in continuing at all though, and things never progressed past that point

I do love the feel of it when it’s someone with whom I’m actually intimate

 

[Lucien_Al]

Quick question for everyone...

Do you think that cunnilingus has been buit up to a holy grain where all women should love it and all men should be experts in it?

I'm not sure it should be such a big deal. Like, the guy who told me he was going to go down on me for an hour or more - no thanks. You don't earn badges for endurance.

I like being eaten, but I like other stuff too/more. It's just one item on a menu, not the main course. You can do a lot more to me with 2 fingers and a thumb than with your tongue. Or put your fingers in me while you eat me. Or (YUM) put a finger up my arse when you eat me.

As is the case with most things I guess we are all different. My first wife loved to be eaten for as long as I could. Video evidence shows the longest on film for me was 45 minutes. She also preferred being penetrated with a vibe or dildo while I was eating her.

My second wife does not like it for too long and after about 10 - 15 minutes she has had enough. She also much prefers fingers against her G spot while eating than a toy.

Love that we are all different and its just a matter of both understanding which one works for them.

 

[Jerryteroga]

I'm a guy, and I had a woman stop me from going down on her. In fact, she stopped me on two different occasions. All she said was that "We didn't know each other well enough for that." She was post-menopausal so it couldn't have been her period. And the 'know each other well enough' comment seemed to imply that she liked getting head, but only after getting to know her guy really well.

I was really surprised, and disappointed. I love giving women orgasms that way, and a few of them have been driven to tears from it so I think my technique must be at least adequate.

My questions to ladies out there: Is this common? Should guys wait to be asked? Are women 'putting up with it' instead of really enjoying it?

The only time i was ever stopped is because i was licking her for so long her pussy got sore and was tingling and became way too sensitive

 

[Rockymtnman]

The 'being dirty' thing is your fault, guys (obvs none here specifically, I'm sure you're all faultless).

I was following a discussion on fetlife a while ago about this. SO MANY women said they were uncomfortable with a guy going down on them because of an early experience of a guy down there complaining that it smelled, or it was gross, or it looked wierd or whatever.

It doesn't take a lot to give women a bad impression of what's down there. Egos are fragile. Imagine if the first time a woman went down on you they told you it tasted gross. Or if they took one look at your todger and said wow, I've never seen one that small before. Actually, most of you wouldn't care. You'd still want to fuck.

I was lucky, the first guy to taste me was good at oral and told me I tasted beautiful. That stayed with me like forever. If he'd said something derogatory, I'd probably not enjoy it now.

I’m sorry, but if your pussy smells. And some do, how is it my fault in mentioning it? If a woman looks to give me a bj, and I’ve been working in the yard all day. Chances are it ain’t fresh down there. Same goes for women, myriad of reasons for odor and most aren’t serious, ph balance, just got done working out, etc… doesn’t make you gross. Nor do I find it so. Just makes you human and me want to skip oral until a shower has been had.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

I love going down on a lady. A couple of them insisted they didn’t like it. One I changed her mind the first time. The other, it took me a few tries to unlock her code.

But I was chatting with a gal who insisted that she only came once that way. My first instinct was, “I could getcha!” But before I could act the fool she told me how tiring it was that every man thought he had the golden tongue and it would be far better if it was part of foreplay and stop putting so much pressure on it.

I realized that I never came from oral sex, either.

And I remembered that sometimes it’s best to listen and respect and not somehow think we need to prove to a woman that they’re wrong about what they like. Because when you say it that way aloud … it really is absurd.

 

[Rockymtnman]

Quick question for everyone...

Do you think that cunnilingus has been buit up to a holy grain where all women should love it and all men should be experts in it?

I'm not sure it should be such a big deal. Like, the guy who told me he was going to go down on me for an hour or more - no thanks. You don't earn badges for endurance.

I like being eaten, but I like other stuff too/more. It's just one item on a menu, not the main course. You can do a lot more to me with 2 fingers and a thumb than with your tongue. Or put your fingers in me while you eat me. Or (YUM) put a finger up my arse when you eat me.

I don’t think it’s the holy grail, so to speak but in the digital porn age, it has become kind of a badge of manliness that you can munch puss for hours, blah blah.

 

[PFWilly]

Interesting thread. The one thing I didn’t see mentioned is that some women may be adverse to receiving due to some early, very early, bad experiences. I love to go down, and bring a woman to a wonderful orgasm. My wife absolutely will not go down that avenue…ever. Ever.

 

[ZfrkS62]

Quick question for everyone...

Do you think that cunnilingus has been buit up to a holy grain where all women should love it and all men should be experts in it?

I'm not sure it should be such a big deal. Like, the guy who told me he was going to go down on me for an hour or more - no thanks. You don't earn badges for endurance.

I like being eaten, but I like other stuff too/more. It's just one item on a menu, not the main course. You can do a lot more to me with 2 fingers and a thumb than with your tongue. Or put your fingers in me while you eat me. Or (YUM) put a finger up my arse when you eat me.

I think oral in general has been built up that way on both sides.

I will say that a little extra feedback and interaction would go a long way in your overall satisfaction. Just moving your hips is too subtle for a lot of guys.

The 4 women I've gotten blow jobs from since i was 18 (yes, that's legit when i got my first one, and this is wife included) weren't amazing at it. One I think was under the impression that I should be able to cum with less than 2 minutes of just licking the tip.

I've heard as many women brag about knowing what they're doing (haven't challenged any of them to prove it), so this isn't just a male ego driven subject. I'd love for someone to prove me wrong and blow my mind and load, but to date, i think I've been brought off only 5 times by oral alone.

On the flip side of that, i enjoy going down on my wife, but she doesn't ask for it as much as I'd like her to, and she's not always into it when she does ask. I don't pretend to know the Konami Code, and sometimes her body language is written in Latin Braille. I've also not gotten her off as much as I'd like to claim with my tongue. She doesn't like the mouth/finger combo. It's either or. I have noticed that when she initiates, and is really in the right mindset, she's got a better chance of cumming on my tongue. I think it's just an occasional, random part of foreplay for her.

My ex loved, and demanded, getting fingered while getting licked. For some reason she mentioned missing that technique during the few conversations we had after breaking up because the new guy didn't have a clue. Um, thanks?

 

[Strixaluco]

I don't even enjoy cunnilingus. My late husband thought himself to be very good at it (from prior experience), but nope, even with him it was more of a turn-off than turn on. A surefire way to take away my mood so that I wouldn't get orgasm after that - and it's even worse when the man is expecting it to do miracles. Never met a man whose tongue would even be precise enough of a tool to do anything good.

I have an idea where it might depend on - and it's not religion nor anything else mental.

 

[summer_reine]

My questions to ladies out there: Is this common? Should guys wait to be asked? Are women 'putting up with it' instead of really enjoying it?

I don't normally respond to these posts, I'm not comfortable sharing true intimate details about myself with a bunch of strangers. But your question made me want to hear from other women. It seems most of us don't wish to answer this and the majority of responses are from men. So here goes..

I've never enjoyed it. That's not to say I wouldn't or can't, I just haven't. I have body shamed myself for a long time. Muffin tops, fupa, thunder thighs, lard ass, the list of derogatory terms to inform me and reinforce the knowledge of the unattractivness of my poor body.. is nearly endless. I am grateful that the 90's stick figures have been replaced by curves but I don't have those either. I have rolls, not an hourglass.

I have held dear too many locker room jokes, anecdotes, tropes, memes, etc. to believe anything other than that a pussy should be felt and not seen. That natural is disgusting. Hair in the teeth jokes anyone? So it must always be strictly manicured or as bald as a baby despite how incredibly painful it is to wax and how wildly irritating it is the day after shaving. And if you were cursed with thick dark hair and very pale translucent skin (that's a better term, thank you) it is always visible without laser hair removal.

Smell, taste, texture, shape have all been discussed already so I'll not repeat it.

A female orgasm begins hours before she is even touched. Trust, I think is the beginning. And every time the build up is interrupted it must begin from the very beginning. Tiring for you? Imagine how frustrating that must be for us. That a stray thought can derail an orgasm right at the crest. Perhaps that is the same for men, I don't know. But to get so close and have your own mind and body betray you, it's cruel.

How can I possibly remove all of that self loathing? How can I dive deep enough into moments of self loveand trust (passion) to withstand decades of shame and attacks against my femininity? I suppose I could get drunk. But then there's no chance of orgasm, perhaps the journey would still be enjoyed. Jokes aside.. if a woman tells you she doesn't enjoy it, believe her. Then talk, a lot.

I can't speak for others, I have never faked enjoyment. I have tried to enjoy but at some point made it clear it simply wasn't working for me. Often the guy responds with a sense of shame at his inability to do what the porns say he should be able to do. Which of course reaffirms that I am not a good enough partner.

So anyway.. that's why I have never enjoyed oral.

 

[CuriousJInLA]

I don't normally respond to these posts, I'm not comfortable sharing true intimate details about myself with a bunch of strangers. But your question made me want to hear from other women. It seems most of us don't wish to answer this and the majority of responses are from men. So here goes..

I've never enjoyed it. That's not to say I wouldn't or can't, I just haven't. I have body shamed myself for a long time. Muffin tops, fupa, thunder thighs, lard ass, the list of derogatory terms to inform me and reinforce the knowledge of the unattractivness of my poor body.. is nearly endless. I am grateful that the 90's stick figures have been replaced by curves but I don't have those either. I have rolls, not an hourglass.

I have held dear too many locker room jokes, anecdotes, tropes, memes, etc. to believe anything other than that a pussy should be felt and not seen. That natural is disgusting. Hair in the teeth jokes anyone? So it must always be strictly manicured or as bald as a baby despite how incredibly painful it is to wax and how wildly irritating it is the day after shaving. And if you were cursed with thick dark hair and very pale skin it is always visible without laser hair removal.

Smell, taste, texture, shape have all been discussed already so I'll not repeat it.

A female orgasm begins hours before she is even touched. Trust, I think is the beginning. And every time the build up is interrupted it must begin from the very beginning. Tiring for you? Imagine how frustrating that must be for us. That a stray thought can derail an orgasm right at the crest. Perhaps that is the same for men, I don't know. But to get so close and have your own mind and body betray you, it's cruel.

How can I possibly remove all of that self loathing? How can I dive deep enough into moments of self loveand trust (passion) to withstand decades of shame and attacks against my femininity? I suppose I could get drunk. But then there's no chance of orgasm, perhaps the journey would still be enjoyed. Jokes aside.. if a woman tells you she doesn't enjoy it, believe her. Then talk, a lot.

I can't speak for others, I have never faked enjoyment. I have tried to enjoy but at some point made it clear it simply wasn't working for me. Often the guy responds with a sense of shame at his inability to do what the porns say he should be able to do. Which of course reaffirms that I am not a good enough partner.

So anyway.. that's why I have never enjoyed oral.

Thanks for sharing something so core to who you are. My wife and I just had a relevant conversation so this hits home.

 

[Strixaluco]

Which of course reaffirms that I am not a good enough partner.

This is sad. It's not like we always enjoy, or need to enjoy, whatever our partner happens to want to try.

And regarding the locker room talks... I'm not unaware of how it may not be nice to curvy girls even here, but it sounds like over there it's probably way worse. Here the sauna culture keeps people more aware of the variety of real bodies, I guess.

 

[summer_reine]

This is sad. It's not like we always enjoy, or need to enjoy, whatever our partner happens to want to try.

And regarding the locker room talks... I'm not unaware of how it may not be nice to curvy girls even here, but it sounds like over there it's probably way worse. Here the sauna culture keeps people more aware of the variety of real bodies, I guess.

The language has improved greatly since my formative years, the jokes less frequently crass and degrading. Blonde jokes still abound, wife is a nag, hump and dump that sort of thing will likely never go away. And there are plenty of 'jokes' that send the same awful messages to men.

There is logic to the idea that a culture of normalizing bodies rather than hiding them would create a less strict ideal body image

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

The only time i was ever stopped is because i was licking her for so long her pussy got sore and was tingling and became way too sensitive

I love going down on a lady. A couple of them insisted they didn’t like it. One I changed her mind the first time. The other, it took me a few tries to unlock her code.

But I was chatting with a gal who insisted that she only came once that way. My first instinct was, “I could getcha!” But before I could act the fool she told me how tiring it was that every man thought he had the golden tongue and it would be far better if it was part of foreplay and stop putting so much pressure on it.

I realized that I never came from oral sex, either.

And I remembered that sometimes it’s best to listen and respect and not somehow think we need to prove to a woman that they’re wrong about what they like. Because when you say it that way aloud … it really is absurd.

I can relate to both of these, in some way. One of my exes would have had his tongue in my pussy for hours if I let him, but I usually started to get antsy and want his cock inside me after 45 minutes or so. It was pleasurable, but I wasn’t as multiorgasmic with his tongue as I am now

 

[saintcero]

My wife won’t let me taste the twat. No reason was ever given. She likes to fuck though so I should not complain

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I have body shamed myself for a long time. Muffin tops, fupa, thunder thighs, lard ass, the list of derogatory terms to inform me and reinforce the knowledge of the unattractivness of my poor body.. is nearly endless. I am grateful that the 90's stick figures have been replaced by curves but I don't have those either. I have rolls, not an hourglass.

I have held dear too many locker room jokes, anecdotes, tropes, memes, etc. to believe anything other than that a pussy should be felt and not seen. That natural is disgusting. Hair in the teeth jokes anyone? So it must always be strictly manicured or as bald as a baby despite how incredibly painful it is to wax and how wildly irritating it is the day after shaving. And if you were cursed with thick dark hair and very pale skin it is always visible without laser hair removal.

Smell, taste, texture, shape have all been discussed already so I'll not repeat it.

A female orgasm begins hours before she is even touched. Trust, I think is the beginning. And every time the build up is interrupted it must begin from the very beginning. Tiring for you? Imagine how frustrating that must be for us. That a stray thought can derail an orgasm right at the crest. Perhaps that is the same for men, I don't know. But to get so close and have your own mind and body betray you, it's cruel.

How can I possibly remove all of that self loathing? How can I dive deep enough into moments of self loveand trust (passion) to withstand decades of shame and attacks against my femininity?

I feel all of this part so hard. The body-shaming and self-loathing and even the translucent skin, despite being brown.

I have been fortunate enough to know some incredibly supportive, body-positive friends and lovers who have helped me rebuild some confidence after health issues and breakups destroyed it, but that little voice in my head still creeps in sometimes. It’s not just relative to oral specifically for me though, and my libido uuusually overrides it, but sometimes…it does prevent me from being in the mood

 

[forgotmyantidepressants]

Quick question for everyone...

Do you think that cunnilingus has been buit up to a holy grain where all women should love it and all men should be experts in it?

I'm not sure it should be such a big deal. Like, the guy who told me he was going to go down on me for an hour or more - no thanks. You don't earn badges for endurance.

I like being eaten, but I like other stuff too/more. It's just one item on a menu, not the main course. You can do a lot more to me with 2 fingers and a thumb than with your tongue. Or put your fingers in me while you eat me. Or (YUM) put a finger up my arse when you eat me.

For me, cunnilingus (and oral sex in general) is my holy grail. I'm actively trying to figure out how to get more of it in my life. That being said, not everyone has to like it or participate.

To the original question, if I was with a new partner, I'd want him to check and make sure I was OK with him putting his mouth on my genitals before attempting. I'd ask if I could suck him off before diving in.

 

[write_or_wrong]

I don't normally respond to these posts, I'm not comfortable sharing true intimate details about myself with a bunch of strangers. But your question made me want to hear from other women. It seems most of us don't wish to answer this and the majority of responses are from men. So here goes..

I've never enjoyed it. That's not to say I wouldn't or can't, I just haven't. I have body shamed myself for a long time. Muffin tops, fupa, thunder thighs, lard ass, the list of derogatory terms to inform me and reinforce the knowledge of the unattractivness of my poor body.. is nearly endless. I am grateful that the 90's stick figures have been replaced by curves but I don't have those either. I have rolls, not an hourglass.

I have held dear too many locker room jokes, anecdotes, tropes, memes, etc. to believe anything other than that a pussy should be felt and not seen. That natural is disgusting. Hair in the teeth jokes anyone? So it must always be strictly manicured or as bald as a baby despite how incredibly painful it is to wax and how wildly irritating it is the day after shaving. And if you were cursed with thick dark hair and very pale skin it is always visible without laser hair removal.

Smell, taste, texture, shape have all been discussed already so I'll not repeat it.

A female orgasm begins hours before she is even touched. Trust, I think is the beginning. And every time the build up is interrupted it must begin from the very beginning. Tiring for you? Imagine how frustrating that must be for us. That a stray thought can derail an orgasm right at the crest. Perhaps that is the same for men, I don't know. But to get so close and have your own mind and body betray you, it's cruel.

How can I possibly remove all of that self loathing? How can I dive deep enough into moments of self loveand trust (passion) to withstand decades of shame and attacks against my femininity? I suppose I could get drunk. But then there's no chance of orgasm, perhaps the journey would still be enjoyed. Jokes aside.. if a woman tells you she doesn't enjoy it, believe her. Then talk, a lot.

I can't speak for others, I have never faked enjoyment. I have tried to enjoy but at some point made it clear it simply wasn't working for me. Often the guy responds with a sense of shame at his inability to do what the porns say he should be able to do. Which of course reaffirms that I am not a good enough partner.

So anyway.. that's why I have never enjoyed oral.

Beautifully and poignantly stated. Thank you for having the guts to share that with us. I wish I could have given your words to my boys when they were trying to figure out girls, relationships, sex, and all that. I wish I had known enough back then to tell them myself.

 

[Jerryteroga]

I can relate to both of these, in some way. One of my exes would have had his tongue in my pussy for hours if I let him, but I usually started to get antsy and want his cock inside me after 45 minutes or so. It was pleasurable, but I wasn’t as multiorgasmic with his tongue as I am now

It seems as if my wife is fully satisfied with me just licking her without her wanting my cock. She would orgasm like a good 6 or 10 times while i lick her and she was ok being done after that.