Are

[Rooster]

a novice Dom

..... only about 6 months ...... and that's mostly reading and a slow progression

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I'm a novice sub... I've had no REAL real life experience (my ex used to tie me up now and again, but nothing serious). I'm reading lots, though, and I'm learning, and I hope to one day begin a dom/sub relationship with the man I love.

 

[JenJ]

Novice Switch yet learning as the days go by.

 

[WriterDom]

131

 

[cellis]

I can't believe that I never replied to this thread. We all know how much I like to talk!

I thought I was a sub, until Himself and I started exploring poly possibilities and discovered how much I like the thought of dominating a woman...

So I have recently been exploring that little Domme side of myself, which I really like... although I find it harder to do that than be a sub...

 

["angel" eve]

fence sitting

inexperienced switch.
i've had real skin time both as a dominant and submissive.
although i've always been the more experienced partner - especially as far as BDSM play.
i couldn't call myself experienced, despite the literal conotation of "experience" as having had and experience. i've taken an interest in BDSM for the 8 months or so, in practice for the last 3-ish. i've been able to learn from those more experienced that me only online and through reading. some would consider me to be chocolate swirl with chocolate sauce added rather liberally...

add to this mix a 6 month relationship with an extremely caring and kinky woman who i lover more than anything... and maybe someday i'll realise see how much trouble curiosity can get you into.

 

[MsWorthy]

experienced lesbian dominant - 4 years

~I wonder why those who do not play "hard" don't consider their experience, REAL experience. If it was done in real time it was REAL experience. BDSM isn't a contest with the winners being those who play the hardest, it is YOUR expression of who YOU are, expressed in a way that satisfies YOU.~

Don't let anyone tell you that because you "only" get tied up occasionally (smiling at vixenshe), you have no experience. How you play is a personal expression of your desires. There is no standard of play to live up to. If there was a hierarchy in bdsm (and there is not) with the "hard," "extreme," or edge players at the top, the vast majority of bdsmers would be somewhere near the bottom.

 

["angel" eve]

hard, soft, itz all experience

Thank you MsWorthy.
i can't explain why i have a tendancy to feel that way, i can only guess it's because it would seem to imply i'm not as "into" it as some others, but you're right, this isn't like a sport or a hobby, it doesn't matter how hard you play, or the number of cards you've collected. it's about learning and doing what satisfies you and your partner.

thank you. you made me question my thinking on that subject.

 

[DRxBlue]

MsWorthy, i LIKE the way you think...

Let me welcome you to Lit. You seem to have a fascinating viewpoint on the practice of "the lifestyle". i'm mostly a spectator here, but these people have embraced me as if i were a natural pervert.

In the studying i've done in the past 4 months, since i first began to understand that there was more to BDSM than "kooky kinkiness", i've noticed exactly the pattern you describe.

Play parties and whip demos may get a lot of "press" even a good deal of "box office", but if you attend the munches, most of the people you meet are quiet, nice people who do what they do very privately.

Just lately, it seems that the wind has shifted to the point where even the quietest among "us" are becoming more willing to come out and say Hello to each other.

i hope you find this place conducive to free expression of your thinking and observations. i for one would love to hear more from you.

i'm not really a Doctor,
but they call me,
Doctor Blue

*just because i asked 'em to*

 

[MsWorthy]

Thank you, "angel" eve and DRxBlue for your comments they are appreciated...smiles

And, DRxBlue, it brightens my day that you took the time to make me feel welcome here.

edited to remove sig line

 

[cymbidia]

I'd like to welcome you to Lit, MsWorthy. I'm one of the moderators here, and have just popped in for something else, just for a moment, because i'm off taking a short sanity break - but i'll be back next week.

In your initial post, you asked if this was the place for you since you "do" BDSM practices just as you breathe - naturally. You don't "play" at this, in other words.

I'd like to reassure you that there are quite a few of us here who are as you are, a number of us who don't just put on the role for bedroom fun and games. There're more than a couple lifestylers here, MsWorthy, and you're welcome to be at ease among us.

I'd like to ask you, though, to remove your website addy from your sig line, if you would. We have a policy against such things, a policy that was put into place in order to keep spammers from our midst. While yours is not spam, someone who was spamming could point to you with cries of 'favoritism' - and we all want to avoid that, do we not?

Please take a moment, if you haven't already, to read the very few community rules we have here. They're located in the sticky at the top of the forum.

Welcome to this place. I think you'll be a wonderful addition to our real life focused, emphasis on issues, no chat room crap community.

cymbidia
BDSM Forum Moderator

 

[MsWorthy]

Thank you for the welcome, cymbidia, and the information about my signature line.

I have changed it.

 

[morninggirl5]

Ms Worthy,

I'd like to add my own note of welcome. You've only been here a short time, but i believe you've added a wonderful note to the harmony that is our community already.

I was going to pm you about putting your website in the www part of your profile, but i see you've done that already. I'm losing myself there when i should be working on other stuff, what i've seeon so far is wonderful.


Again, welcome to our small corner of lit.


mg

 

[li'a-wahine]

hello everyone, just thought I'd take this pole. I put experienced myself if anyone was wondering

Aloha no~
li'a

 

[WriterDom]

Welcome li'a

 

[MissTaken]

bumping for our new posters.

 

[~Dream~]

wow i dont feel so all alone now

still checking out that 1 guy back on page 1's sig whoo hoo omg

anyways I am definately a novice submissive with only 5 days of r/l experience with Master so far..I am yearning for the day when I can consider myself a "lifestyler" for that is my goal...we have been practicing Our chosen lifestyle a little over 4 mos now and its LDR/LTR online for now (till next June) which sucks but we are getting CLOSER everyday.. ~

 

[Never]

I voted on this when it first appeared. I have now, however, forgotten what I clicked on.

 

[Lancecastor]

I first started reading about kink and bdsm when I was 11, so for me, kink is normal.

And given that I've never met a woman who didn't want to be kinked on, my personal belief is that everyone is kinky and whatever people do when naked is normal if they're into it, something that was reinforced by my first trip to Amsterdam at 17.

Consequently, I think most of the "just learning", "go slow" stuff here and other places is North American Sexual Puritanism, plain and simple, mised with a big dollop of people being scared to ask for what they want and fear of being judged if they do. But I could be wrong. I am, now and then. ;-)

As I'm confident, competitive and extroverted by nature, I'd be labled a Dom in BDSM-speak.

But I just think I'm Me.

Cheers;

Lance

 

[TantaLiza]

I'm totally novice in just about every sense of the word...although I have no claim to "virgin" since the age of 19. I still have so much to learn and experience that I can't begin to state opinions, only ask questions humbly...

Liza

 

[WriterDom]

bump

 

[Guest]

you?

Novice could be defined many ways, but in this poll it means no real time experience.

Experienced sub here. I have been submissive all my life, as well as bi and a zoo, and I have been lucky enough to understand "who" I was early on.

In "relationships" in my younger years I asked boyfriends to tie me up and spank me, etc., but most of 'em thought I was nuts. When it comes to learning and serving, I have been active in the lifestyle for seven years now.

 

[sluttygirl4u22]

hmmm well I suppose mostly unexperienced, have tried some things r/t but not as much as I would like

 

[WriterDom]

I've always found this poll to be interesting. Even if you combine experienced and inexperienced Dom/mes, they are still around 20% of the board.