Awkward Erections

[Lord Pmann]

Thanks for your most entertaining post. It got me re-thinking my own, and it got me thinking once more about how my own experiences differ from men and even from other women.

One of the key words in my post was "teenager." My impression of puberty was that my body was suddenly at odds with me. It was leaking in places where it hadn't leaked before, bumps were growing where I had no bumps before, and so on. There is a distinct element of feeling out of control when all this happens. None of the men I've talked to remember having this feeling to the extent I did, possibly because the changes weren't as profound. (If you've seen the movie Persepolis, you might recall a funny cartoon sequence illustrating this.)

The second key factor, which I didn't refer to before, is that the onset of my puberty was seen by male relatives as a signal that I was sexually available to them. Much badness ensued. So when I had that incident at the roller rink, what I was really reacting to was the fear that I was arousing that same lust in onlookers, and that more badness might be heading my way. A guy with a visible erection usually doesn't worry that it might be making him a target for unwanted sexual interest, but a girl might. (That isn't coming out as clear as I wanted, but I hope you understand.)

Clear as can be. Good post. I particularly loved the line regarding "leaking in places where I hadn't leaked before". Well put. Hahaha. That would've freaked me out, I won't lie. If I had a bleedy dick once a month I'd be freaked out.

I do not think puberty affects boys as much as girls. Puberty was no big deal for me. I matured quicker than most my age, so I could wag my hairy cock at my friends and make them jealous. Well, my actual COCK was not hairy, but you know what I mean.

I became a confident little fucker during that time, oddly. I mean, we all have things that we are self conscious about, but for what's supposed to be a tough time maturing and all, I was pretty damned happy with myself. I felt like I was finally able to get some release. While I wasn't sexually active, I finally had something to do with my erections. Before, you just sort of rub them up to whatever is next to you. A couch, the floor, the dog, the dishwasher, whatever is right there. I just pretty much fucked everything in my house, as a kid. I had this raging little red boner that wouldn't go away and I didn't know what the fuck I should do with it, so I just kind of fucked things as best I knew how. My first memory as a child is seeing a naked girl in a movie and having an erection. Classy, right? When puberty hit, I remember finally being able to do something with that erection and I was sooooooo happy. It took me 15 years to get there, or however long it was, but I had a purpose!!! So for me, it wasn't awkward. I finally could be more laid back and chill.

I also never had to worry about creepy family members or whatever. That would be a huge problem, for sure. Man.

But I'd be pretty embarrassed at this point just having a random erection. I think at any point in my life that would be humiliating. I mean, unless I'm trying to do it just to be a dumbass, which was possible then and now.

I've never really thought of nipple erections for women as a sexual thing for them. I mean, I know it happens when they are turned on at times, but I realize far more factors also make it happen than just that. Perhaps I am the minority.

 

[BongoGal]

I've never really thought of nipple erections for women as a sexual thing for them. I mean, I know it happens when they are turned on at times, but I realize far more factors also make it happen than just that.

It's true that non-sexual things can make a woman's nipples hard. Cold is the most common, of course, but it can also happen when stressed out because of fear and immediate danger. Fortunately this doesn't happen very often. It sure does happen to me when I'm even a little turned on, though. A kiss that lasts more than a peck can do it, as can a sexy scene in a movie. One other thing that does it for me is being tickled.

 

[Lord Pmann]

It's true that non-sexual things can make a woman's nipples hard. Cold is the most common, of course, but it can also happen when stressed out because of fear and immediate danger. Fortunately this doesn't happen very often. It sure does happen to me when I'm even a little turned on, though. A kiss that lasts more than a peck can do it, as can a sexy scene in a movie. One other thing that does it for me is being tickled.

Fear huh?

*puts scary clown mask in car to take to work tomorrow for sexy girl at work in tie dye shirt*

It's just funny, because (nearly) no guys would see erect nipples on a woman and think it was awkward. But if I was sporting a fear boner, it would be awkward.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I've never once worried about having (or not having) erect nipples. I must be strange but it's never even entered my head as something to be concerned about having or displaying. *shrug*

Oh, and pmann..... I really hope you did not have any pets growing up and that there were no sharp knives in that dishwasher when you were fucking it.

Hmmmm. I guess you'll have to show me those nipples to see if there is anything you should worry about. I'll see them both erect or not erect.

I had a dog. He was a Shi-tzu. One handsome beast. Literally more animal than man.

The sharp knives... You'd be surprised; I don't mind a nice knife blade. Or maybe you wouldn't be.

 

[Sandygroper]

Hmmmm. I guess you'll have to show me those nipples to see if there is anything you should worry about. I'll see them both erect or not erect.

I had a dog. He was a Shi-tzu. One handsome beast. Literally more animal than man.

The sharp knives... You'd be surprised; I don't mind a nice knife blade. Or maybe you wouldn't be.

I went to the zoo the other day... the only thing that was there was a dog......

it was a ShiT-Zu

 

[Lord Pmann]

http://youtu.be/TrlMqttYcPI

About :35-1:25.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I went to the zoo the other day... the only thing that was there was a dog......

it was a ShiT-Zu

*claps*

 

[Emmcee20]

In my work I move from office block to office block meeting many people. Speaking with a small group one day I noticed a lady beside me had her nipples at high beam and very prominent against her quite thin dress material. She noticed me notice and looked down embarrassed. They also disappeared ... briefly and then they came back to life. I quietly commented that it was quite cold in the office and again she was a little embarrassed but also laughed and crossed her arms that at least hid them from the others present. Being next to me it was still easy to see them.

As a result of this sort of meeting with some very attractive women, I have had to leave the building while rummaging through my brief case trying to pretend to find something while hiding my arousal.

 

[BongoGal]

Years ago I was watching some TV show in a room with three or four guys. There was a male host of the show who had an attractive, large-breasted woman in a tight t-shirt standing next to him. The male host did most of the talking, but at some point the woman began to speak to the camera. As soon as she began to say her lines...boing!...her nips got very erect. It was impossible not to notice. One of the guys in the room blurted out, "She likes that!" Everyone laughed. I didn't say anything, but the sudden sexual tension in the room caused me to respond in the same way that the woman did. I was glad that my beamers were well-hidden. I wonder what the guys would have said if I weren't in the room.

 

[alwayswantedto]

<deleted>

 

[jmace1000]

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[jmace1000]

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[Aphro]

The absolute WORST and most awkward erection I ever remember seeing was when I took my son to a birthday party years ago. It was at one of those indoor playground places, and the parents had hired "Spider Man" to come and entertain the kids for 45 minutes or so, with some magic, balloon animals, and the like.

Wellllll.....when "Spider Man" showed up, he was a pretty tall skinny dude, dressed in his lycra Spider man outfit. But...he had this huge bulge up front. It got progressively larger as the party continued. Myself and the other parents were practically apoplectic at the back of the room watching, and the birthday boy's mom was mortified that Spider man was up there doing coin tricks with kids sporting a massive boner. The kids were too young to really care or notice much, but, OMG...

 

[TalkToMeInSB]

I was raised Catholic and, growing up, we went to church every Sunday. As some of you know, there is a lot of sitting, kneeling, standing throughout the service. Almost without fail, all this activity would stimulate me to an erection. While standing I would rub myself on the pew in front off me for stimulation and to maintain my erection. Just before it came time for communion, where you walk up to the front of the church, I frantically tried to "push" my erection down. I was mortified the times it didn't work and I had to walk up with a bulge in my pants.

To this day, when I get those awkward erections, my mind goes back to those church days!

 

[Emerson40]

I was raised Catholic and, growing up, we went to church every Sunday. As some of you know, there is a lot of sitting, kneeling, standing throughout the service. Almost without fail, all this activity would stimulate me to an erection. While standing I would rub myself on the pew in front off me for stimulation and to maintain my erection. Just before it came time for communion, where you walk up to the front of the church, I frantically tried to "push" my erection down. I was mortified the times it didn't work and I had to walk up with a bulge in my pants.

To this day, when I get those awkward erections, my mind goes back to those church days!

O Come, All Ye Faithful.

Tough hymn to get through?

 

[SmilingGuy_]

The absolute WORST and most awkward erection I ever remember seeing was when I took my son to a birthday party years ago. It was at one of those indoor playground places, and the parents had hired "Spider Man" to come and entertain the kids for 45 minutes or so, with some magic, balloon animals, and the like.

Wellllll.....when "Spider Man" showed up, he was a pretty tall skinny dude, dressed in his lycra Spider man outfit. But...he had this huge bulge up front. It got progressively larger as the party continued. Myself and the other parents were practically apoplectic at the back of the room watching, and the birthday boy's mom was mortified that Spider man was up there doing coin tricks with kids sporting a massive boner. The kids were too young to really care or notice much, but, OMG...

How and why did you not drag the guy out of the place by his spandex and throw him into traffic? Bet his spidey senses wouldn't have seen that coming.

I have a simple rule about parenting. If you have a boner near by kid, go away from my kid quickly. Or stay if you want, but either way the boner will be leaving quickly, even if it has to detach from teh rest of you to leave the area.

 

[Mindfondler]

I took my wife to a large department store to look for new outfits. At one point, she tried on a suit for ladies, including trousers which fitted very nicely around her lovely buttocks. I looked on most approvingly, and gave my wife the nod that it was a great choice.

As my wife disappeared back into the changing room and I waited outside, I realised that the image of my wife in that suit was giving me a very noticeable erection. I wasn't carrying anything to cover it, so my only option seemed to be to move up close to the nearest rack of clothing and pretend to browse through it.

At that point, I realised that the rack of clothing that I was rifling through energetically had a prominent sign labelling it as "Maternity Wear". My wife wasn't pregnant. If a shop assistant had approached me and asked what I was looking for, then my embarrassment would have been complete.

 

[Macdaddy23]

I was getting my teeth cleaned and the the woman cleaning my teeth looked good so did the female dentist. I could feel the woman's nipples pushing into my head which was about to drive me up the wall I was getting so horny. I ended up with an erection of course. I also wanted to fuck the female dentist. Dark long hair does it to me every time.

 

[deyv]

Went to the HMO doctor for an annual physical exam - the Doc turned out to be a she and was totally hot.

When she had me drop my trousers for the 'cough' my erect dick was covered in pre-cum.

I'm sure she saw that sort of thing all the time... but still, it was really awkward.

 

[Macdaddy23]

Went to the HMO doctor for an annual physical exam - the Doc turned out to be a she and was totally hot.

When she had me drop my trousers for the 'cough' my erect dick was covered in pre-cum.

I'm sure she saw that sort of thing all the time... but still, it was really awkward.

I had an encounter like that as well. Female doctor that looked like she had walked out of Playboy. She liked to leave her blouse unbuttoned just enough where I could see her cleavage. She also pressed against me and I got hard. My cock went right against her. To this day I still want that doctor.

 

[thewill]

Both are some good stories. It had to be some kind of rush as it was embarrassing

 

[OnceFuturePoly]

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Comic

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2977#comic

 

[StaciRay79]

there was a guy at my neighborhood pool today who was sporting a nice bulge as he got out of the water. His suit was clinging to him as he stepped out of the water but it was pretty obvious he was a bit more excited than he wished to be.

Not sure what he was thinking about but I sure appreciated the view while it lasted!

 

[JudasIscariot]

The obvious one, school.

Was in a French class and the table facing I could see up one of the girls skirts as you do. Staring at her white panties made my mind wonder, and like an all of a sudden my cock was slammed against my undies, so like an idiot I decided to put my hand in the zip and started to stroke my cock, fucking teacher seen me, she told me to stand up, and there was little old me with a big dent in my pants!

 

[BongoGal]

I have a friend who is an occupational therapist, and apparently she deals with awkward erections rather frequently. There are people who can't bathe or wipe themselves, so others must do it for them, and these things happen. She told me of one patient who was about nineteen, tall and skinny, and who was, for whatever reason, unable to move his arms or legs (or sit up or roll over or anything, really). She had to change him, and on at least two occasions, up popped what she called "the biggest hard-on I've ever seen". He was embarrassed, nearly to the point of tears, but she simply told him not to worry and that "I will ignore it if you do". I asked if patients like him ever get release, and she said they don't unless someone does it for them, and unless they have a visiting wife or girlfriend, that's pretty much never. (Wet dreams are common, I gather.)