bad sex vs no sex.......

[SlidingInSilk]

No sex vs Bad Sex

I'd have to say I've done both and the no sex option leaves me feeling far more satisfied. Someone I once hooked up with (as we have only ever gone on one date) had potential but something happened and I became that "recepticle" mentioned before. He'd call and want to come over within the hour, usually cum within the first ten minutes of sex with little foreplay, apologize and then leave. At first I thought perhaps he was just a bit over eager then I came to realize that he just didn't care. The apology was only to give him an in for the next time he called. I was left feeling terribly frustrated and used. I would have definitely preferred no sex or masterbation instead at least I know I would have an orgasm that way.

Silk

 

[1sexylady]

Re: No sex vs Bad Sex

I'd have to say I've done both and the no sex option leaves me feeling far more satisfied. Someone I once hooked up with (as we have only ever gone on one date) had potential but something happened and I became that "recepticle" mentioned before. He'd call and want to come over within the hour, usually cum within the first ten minutes of sex with little foreplay, apologize and then leave. At first I thought perhaps he was just a bit over eager then I came to realize that he just didn't care. The apology was only to give him an in for the next time he called. I was left feeling terribly frustrated and used. I would have definitely preferred no sex or masterbation instead at least I know I would have an orgasm that way.

Silk

If you can't kiss me and hold me and caress me before fucking me don't fuck me at all...I also want the holding and caressing and kissing when we are done....otherwise my fingers work just fine...

 

[Pdxmwm]

Bad Sex

Bad Sex: It can be many things; bad sex is when you don’t give a damn about your partner. Bad sex is when your partner consents, but does so out of duty, not out of love or a desire for mutual gratification. Bad sex is when your partner doesn’t give a damn about you. Bad sex is when she lays there like a lump, wishing you’d get it over with. Bad sex is when he calls you by name, and it’s the wrong name. Bad sex is when he leaves you hanging, excited, but unfulfilled. Bad sex is when you say no, and he doesn’t listen. Bad sex is when she falls asleep, or passes out, and you continue anyway. Bad sex is when he falls asleep, and you wish he hadn’t. Bad sex is when he won’t fall asleep, and you wish he would. Bad sex is when it hurts, and he knows it, but won’t stop. Bad sex isn’t making love, it’s just bad sex. Yes, masturbation is much better then bad sex.

 

[Richard49]

hobosexual

Do you know what a hobosexual is?
a bum lay.

Many of the woman I have LTR with have been .... well .....less than exciting the first couple of times we were together.
What changed? What caused the change?

HOW

Honesty
open mindness
willingness

without these three all is lost......

Also I have found that sometimes some of us go for sex when what we want is just to be held.

I also agree that I have to have foreplay......climax......and post play

Richard
damn I still without a lover

 

[1sexylady]

Re: hobosexual

Do you know what a hobosexual is?
a bum lay.

Many of the woman I have LTR with have been .... well .....less than exciting the first couple of times we were together.
What changed? What caused the change?

HOW

Honesty
open mindness
willingness

without these three all is lost......

Also I have found that sometimes some of us go for sex when what we want is just to be held.

I also agree that I have to have foreplay......climax......and post play

Richard
damn I still without a lover

Well Richard I would rather have honesty, open mindness and willingness before I met someone... plus respect....

 

[lovemetender]

I'm with the majority....I'd choose masturbating over bad sex...

bad sex is to me when you are both emotionally & physically unfullfilled....you at least need one or the other otherwise I'd choose solo

 

[softey]

yes

I agree and do it almost daily . reach a total climax everytime

 

[prettygrneyes]

Re: yes

I agree and do it almost daily . reach a total climax everytime

,I agree
Awww cute kitty av....

 

[YosemiteSam]

BAD, vrs NONE

I have to agree with the majority no is better than bad,.....but it seems to be the lesser of 2 evils......and it's not like you can control it,...LOL if ya knew it was gonna be bad, you would have done it in the first place..........sex seems to be like everything else. ya never know till you try.

 

[Wintermute]

I agree

I agree with the majority. No sex is better than bad sex. But self-pleasuring is better than both no sex or bad sex. Guess that's why I do so often. I'm in a marriage with mostly bad sex. <sigh>

Story of my life.

Would routine sex count as bad sex? I'm also married and my wife and I have sex infrequently at best. She has lost her sex drive but accomidates me on occasion and lets me know it. In spite of this, we more often then not climax simulatously everytime.

But, It has become a predictible routine. She's doesn't want to try to livening things up and when I've suggested (I have long since stopped BTW) adding a little spice to the mix, she has rejected it often strongly completely detroying the moment.

And now thing are deteriorting faster to the point I don't think I want to try to save this relationship anymore.

If there is a upside, my forearms have much better muscle defination.

Wintermute

 

[Pdxmwm]

There is more here than I can comment on in a short note. Personally, I chose not to have sex with my spouse, rather then to feel accomodated, and guilty for pushing the issue.

From that point, the decision is what to do about the situation. When counsoling doesn't help, it boils down to how important sex is to your marriage. Is it worth the damage it causes to move on? Do you become celabate? Do you rely on self gratification? Do you stay and find someone else to fill that gap? There are even more questions, and combinations of the above, but as I've said before, sex is a damn poor basis for a marriage, and lack of sex (or poor sex) is a damn poor reason (by it self) to end one.

There are probably as many answers to these questions as there are people in this situation. Beyond that, the right answer may be a different answer as time passes. I live with this situation, and I found what works for me.

Good Luck, think long and hard.

 

[Wintermute]

Re: Yummmmy? I think I know that Cop!

Ah to be 18 again, with the equipment and knowledge of 4 decades...

Tell me about. I've been tempted many times to track down all my former lovers and apologise perfusely everytime I learned something new or something that I was doing wrong.

I'm still learning, I'm stiving to be a poet of intimacy.

Wintermute

 

[Wintermute]

There is more here than I can comment on in a short note. Personally, I chose not to have sex with my spouse, rather then to feel accomodated, and guilty for pushing the issue.

From that point, the decision is what to do about the situation. When counsoling doesn't help, it boils down to how important sex is to your marriage. Is it worth the damage it causes to move on? Do you become celabate? Do you rely on self gratification? Do you stay and find someone else to fill that gap? There are even more questions, and combinations of the above, but as I've said before, sex is a damn poor basis for a marriage, and lack of sex (or poor sex) is a damn poor reason (by it self) to end one.

There are probably as many answers to these questions as there are people in this situation. Beyond that, the right answer may be a different answer as time passes. I live with this situation, and I found what works for me.

Good Luck, think long and hard.

I've misrepresented myself, and I appologise. This was a discussion of good sex vs. bad sex and that was the area of my relationship with my spouse that I addressed. That is only one of many area where my relationship is failing.

Like many of our peers at the time we got married very young she was 20 and I was 21. As we grew older we started finally realiseing where we wanted to go, do, and be. These differences are the biggest trouble spots in our marriage. She would like to move up north while I enjoy my lifestyle in Florida. I like to go out, she likes to stay in. I'm sexually open minded and like to explore and find out more about pleasure. She is very conservative and regarded sex as a marital duty (a hangup which has been hammered into her by her mother since she was young.) This is but a few of what on the surface appear to be trival details but these are the issue which have really torn our relationship asunder.

If I may have came off as a "typical male" I sincerely apologise. I just get a bit frustrated on occasion as you can image.

I hope we can be friends.

Wintermute

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: hobosexual

Well Richard I would rather have honesty, open mindness and willingness before I met someone... plus respect....

I do not understand what you are saying.

 

[Richard49]

Bad sex versus solo

If I have to pick one of these
I would pass on both

Masterbation gets old and boring

 

[lovemetender]

Re: Bad sex versus solo

If I have to pick one of these
I would pass on both

Masterbation gets old and boring

damn that kinda sounds anti-sex & we can't have that here...LOL

 

[Jaded1]

And the answer isssss...............

No sex over bad sex. There are some lovers that no matter how much you work with them they don't have that passion and fire.

Then there are lovers that as you become a custom to one another passions and pleasures it is incredible. A mere matter of finding the right buttons to push can blow my mind

WANTED: One firey passionate female lover. Objective toe curling mind blowing love making for hours and hours on end. Apply within........

Jaded1, CT

 

[knightstalker]

I would have to go with no sex over bad sex..What is the point of having bad sex when you can just close your eyes and have great sex with who ever you want to...

 

[1sexylady]

Re: hobosexual

Do you know what a hobosexual is?
a bum lay.

Many of the woman I have LTR with have been .... well .....less than exciting the first couple of times we were together.
What changed? What caused the change?

HOW

Honesty
open mindness
willingness

without these three all is lost......

Also I have found that sometimes some of us go for sex when what we want is just to be held.

I also agree that I have to have foreplay......climax......and post play

Richard
damn I still without a lover

I must of read this wrong...I am taking it that you found it less than exciting because of the lack of honesty, open mindness, willingness...so I say have it first... now if I did read this wrong I am sorry....

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: hobosexual

I must of read this wrong...I am taking it that you found it less than exciting because of the lack of honesty, open mindness, willingness...so I say have it first... now if I did read this wrong I am sorry....

I was saying that if the other person does not have HOW
honesty
opened mindness
willingness

I do not want to be around them

 

[1sexylady]

Re: Re: Re: hobosexual

I was saying that if the other person does not have HOW
honesty
opened mindness
willingness

I do not want to be around them

Sorry Richard.. I still luv ya..

 

[Richard49]

Re: Re: Re: Re: hobosexual

Sorry Richard.. I still luv ya..

Sorry about what?
I still think we are not communicating

 

[Pdxmwm]

I've misrepresented myself, .....
I may have came off as a "typical male" I sincerely apologise. I just get a bit frustrated on occasion as you can image.

I hope we can be friends.

Wintermute

No need to apologise; I don't feel you misrepresented yourself, nor did you come off as a "typical male". My first marriage started at 18, and I can understand the changes that continue to mold us as we grow older.

In my own case, children, and business commitments, further limit my choices. Yes, many of us, men and women, face the decision of what to do, when our marital fit is far less the perfect. It doesn't mean that the man is right, or the woman is write, only that they aren't right for each other, at least, at that point in time.

Good Luck, I wish you well.

 

[Wintermute]

No need to apologise; I don't feel you misrepresented yourself, nor did you come off as a "typical male". My first marriage started at 18, and I can understand the changes that continue to mold us as we grow older.

In my own case, children, and business commitments, further limit my choices. Yes, many of us, men and women, face the decision of what to do, when our marital fit is far less the perfect. It doesn't mean that the man is right, or the woman is write, only that they aren't right for each other, at least, at that point in time.

Good Luck, I wish you well.

Thank you, I was afraid that I had come across as overly sex centric which, well since I'm here I guess proves I am, but I also have my romantic side and the side that knows where my responsiblities lie. So the deceision to desolve our marriage will not be taken lightly. I'm am currently in my 14th month of deliberating with myself on this issue. I'm agonising over it, honestly.

But "outside" factors have entered which are leaning more to the dissolution option.

Wintermute

 

[Angelofsex]

Thank you, I was afraid that I had come across as overly sex centric which, well since I'm here I guess proves I am, but I also have my romantic side and the side that knows where my responsiblities lie. So the deceision to desolve our marriage will not be taken lightly. I'm am currently in my 14th month of deliberating with myself on this issue. I'm agonising over it, honestly.

But "outside" factors have entered which are leaning more to the dissolution option.

Wintermute

One thing that is not easy is desolving a marriage............I know.....been thinking a long time......to long.........Good Luck and I mean it.