Because we have made a choice to .....

[Kajira Callista]

Alot of people addressed this point, but yours was the most concise answer, so let me put the question to you specifically:

If the Dom's morals and ethics turn out to NOT be what they were originally presented as, or change over time to become far removed from their original status, what should a submissive do?

We are on the same page i think. (have the fire extinguisher here just in case btw )

 

[ownedsubgal]

i think Etoile put it best....a submissive needs to choose their Owner wisely. heck, a Dominant needs to choose their property wisely. but as to the question, what should a submissive do if something changes...if the Dominant acts in a way unlike themselves, or if the submissive just chose badly to begin with. well, imo, and i know this is not a popular one, the choice to become slave is a final one. period. though i understand every M/s union has their own beliefs and ways. in our union, i am permitted to beg for release, if things become just impossible in my view. however i can only beg...in other words, ask. if i am refused, well then i remain his property and must conduct myself as such. regardless of how i feel about it at that point. though i cannot imagine this ever happening, because i know deep within my soul that i made a wise decision in accepting Daddy's offer to be his property. our sense of ethics, our morals, fall along the same lines. so i do not have to worry about any great moral dilemmas in my future. but of course there are always those that feel the need to ask, or to question, what if? what if things go horribly wrong? what if it all fails? i try not to get myself caught up in such negative and defeatist thinking, but regardless it is an easy question to answer. i am owned. and whatever my Owner commands or wishes me to do that i am physically capable of doing, is what i must do.

 

[Etoile]

I agree but is that always the case? What if it wasnt, i'd like to hear/read your opinion on that.

I would think that if two people differed on moral and ethical grounds, then they would be incompatible in the first place. They shouldn't have gotten together. I can't imagine getting into a relationship with someone I would have such fundamental differences with. Sure, we can disagree from time to time, even about important issues, but on the whole we've got to be compatible for it to work out.

What would happen if something changed? As osg described (just caught her post in time to avoid repeating her!), I would ask for release. I'd hope that it would be amicable, too. (Keep in mind that I have essentially no experience with this. My girlfriend is my only partner, and Daddy has been my only dominant. I don't know what it's like for a D/s relationship to end.) The only situation in which I could imagine running away would be if the top were clearly insane (clinically, legally, the whole nine yards) and I felt the top was not in the right mind to grant or deny freedom. In that case, I would leave the situation, and resolve it later from a safe location. (I'd be very concerned for my dom's mental health, too - I'm talking about a situation so bad where institutionalization is the best step.)

 

[Kajira Callista]

Well lets put a twist on this one. Almost everyone that posted agreed that you should find a person who accepts yur beliefs and has similar ones. Anyone out there ever have to drop the morals etc. for a Dominant or submissive in their life.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Well lets put a twist on this one. Almost everyone that posted agreed that you should find a person who accepts yur beliefs and has similar ones. Anyone out there ever have to drop the morals etc. for a Dominant or submissive in their life.

LOL, yes..and it is challenging to say the least.

Catalina

 

[Kajira Callista]

LOL, yes..and it is challenging to say the least.

Catalina

I have also, not any major ones thank godness because the not so major ones were real hard to let go of. It was kind of like i had to drop that "im not doing this" attitude and stay focused and remember that i trusted him not to harm me in bad ways, i think tht for an very independant person it can be one of the hardest things to do. It's your morals and ethics that keep you strong when you are on your own...well it is what keeps and has kept me personally strong and out of trouble in my life.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I have also, not any major ones thank godness because the not so major ones were real hard to let go of. It was kind of like i had to drop that "im not doing this" attitude and stay focused and remember that i trusted him not to harm me in bad ways, i think tht for an very independant person it can be one of the hardest things to do. It's your morals and ethics that keep you strong when you are on your own...well it is what keeps and has kept me personally strong and out of trouble in my life.

Definately requires a lot of trust to enable the making of your increased vulnerablity....but it does have it's rewards too.

Catalina

 

[Kajira Callista]

Definately requires a lot of trust to enable the making of your increased vulnerablity....but it does have it's rewards too.

Catalina

nods

 

[redelicious]

I have also, not any major ones thank godness because the not so major ones were real hard to let go of. It was kind of like i had to drop that "im not doing this" attitude and stay focused and remember that i trusted him not to harm me in bad ways, i think tht for an very independant person it can be one of the hardest things to do. It's your morals and ethics that keep you strong when you are on your own...well it is what keeps and has kept me personally strong and out of trouble in my life.

This quote pretty much represents why I will only ever be able to go but so far as a sub.

Though it's a moot point anyway.

 

[Kajira Callista]

This quote pretty much represents why I will only ever be able to go but so far as a sub.

Though it's a moot point anyway.

I think that statement shows how aware you are of who you are....and thats a good thing

 

[MissTaken]

I would have to say that I have a certain grain of morality that will remain in tact, no matter what or whom enters into my life circle.

However, perhaps this isn't relevant to the thread, given my conservative upbringing, entering into BDSM did conflict with certain values and morals that I had held dear. Then, it felt like a moral dilemma and required trust, information and self confidence to proceed.

Looking back, was it really a moral dilemma or mental growing pains as I stretched beyond the guilded cage of rural conservativism?

And further, I would probably not be attracted to someone who stood on flimsy moral ground and would not want to be party to greying their idea of right and wrong.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I would have to say that I have a certain grain of morality that will remain in tact, no matter what or whom enters into my life circle.

However, perhaps this isn't relevant to the thread, given my conservative upbringing, entering into BDSM did conflict with certain values and morals that I had held dear. Then, it felt like a moral dilemma and required trust, information and self confidence to proceed.

Looking back, was it really a moral dilemma or mental growing pains as I stretched beyond the guilded cage of rural conservativism?

And further, I would probably not be attracted to someone who stood on flimsy moral ground and would not want to be party to greying their idea of right and wrong.

Hi Miss Taken
I think stepping outside your circle (expanding) can be just as hard as being asked to do something you arent wanting to do because of your beliefs. Expanding is a big part of the life to me, it amazes me how much we can grow and learn and change in a safe place with the right person.

 

[TigerClaw]

Ive learned you have to meet someone with the same basic morals as yourself. Both have to be understanding and or agree ot disagree when they are different and respect it.

If it turns out to be a hard limit you must ask yourself is this something I can live with if it stays a hard limit. Things change but somethings dont. It is playing with matches if you feel you can "change" someone to doing as you wish.

I feel a sub does not loose all rights.

********************************
I should think that Master/slave would be the same. The slave would want to be with someone who respected the his/her core being. No? I may need more understanding of a Master/Slave arrangement if that is not the case.