Being a woman in geek culture

[Stella_Omega]

I'mma start using "birch" as a derogative from now on.

 

[reallyunsure]

I'mma start using "birch" as a derogative from now on.

Why wood you do that?

 

[BiBunny]

I'mma start using "birch" as a derogative from now on.

Fucking phone.

 

[KoPilot]

I'mma start using "birch" as a derogative from now on.

I love me some approximated made-up curses. Though I absolutely refuse to use "frak".

 

[KoPilot]

Honestly? There are a lot of things about this thread that burn my ass. I try not to say anything about it, but I'm not always successful.

And, yes, I did call her annoying, but it was the asshole I used to work with whom I called a birch. Either way, please don't act as though I don't curse like a sailor all the time. You just chose now to be offended by it.

I'm sorry, but nobody is exempt from irritating me by sheer virtue of having a vag.

Welp, can't argue with that.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I'mma start using "birch" as a derogative from now on.

Let's hope the ents don't decide to go to war over it.

 

[Netzach]

Well, that's the discussion I was having.

Because my income depended heavily on Etsy for two years and I had to live in this insane universe. One which I recognized from the first frame of the vid.

And there's nothing scarier for projecting a gingham covered universe where nothing bad ever happens as some kind of aspirational reality for broke college students than a twirl around Etsy.

I guess it depends where you fall on the manic pixie dream girl scale. Is the *designation* sexist or is the *ideal* sexist. My money is more on the ideal than the designation. I think to some degree one has to be able to say "this is useful" and "this may be a girl doing it but it completely sucks ass, because I have things to do here other than live up to this."

And I think sometimes that frustration may come out swinging as "dumbass bitch" - from those of us who are not making perfect pink petits fours for our online presence. Or for any reason. And who are not buying the idea that a petit four in the shape of a twitter icon is LESS oppressive an expectation than one with a Wilton rose on it. It's everything reduced to consumer choice.

 

[Netzach]

I'm suddenly incredibly ashamed.

I love to bake. I can't cook for shit.



On the other hand, I don't have a blog dedicated to my (ugly) attempts at cake-baking, so there's that, at least.

I love to bake. I'm circumspect about baking porn.

 

[satindesire]

What definition of gamer did they use?

What definition of gamer do YOU use?

Because we can all sit here and argue No True Scotsman all day long, but I'll trust their definition a lot better than some dude on the 'net since that's their job and all.

Is it just me, or is it kind of fucked that you guys are bitching about someone that offends your sensibilities just because you find her to be an annoying fake cook girl? Can we not talk shit about women who haven't actually done anything wrong?

It's not your thing. Just stop watching and get over it, then.

If it makes you feel any better, I'm a LOT like the Nummies girl and it really does hurt to see people saying how annoying she is. I have a naturally high pitched girly voice, and I'm bubbly and playful and I annoy the absolute living shit out of a LOT of people. I own that. I know that not everyone's going to like me. But I do me and let people that don't like girls like me do their thing.

For what it's worth, some people just ARE LIKE THAT, and it's not put on for effect/attention.

Also for what it's worth, my husband hated my guts when he first met me and thought I was an annoying fake bitch, but once he got to know me better and saw that I was like this -all of the time- he values that aspect of my personality. He also understands that not everyone will actually be patient enough to get to know me and realize it's not "fake", and that's okay too.

ETA: He still doesn't let me talk to him before 8am, though. Too much perky too early in the morning.

 

[satindesire]

http://www.thefword.org.uk/features/2012/05/its_not_feminism_that_hurts_men

"Benatar gives the game away when he says that ignorance of the "second sexism" stems from what he terms "partisan feminists", who are interested only in the advancement of women's rights, rather than true equality and co-operation between the sexes. Ah, so it is the feminists' fault, after all - those awful "partisan feminists" who wish to turn the West into a matriarchy. Good thing there's so many of them, and they're so powerful. I myself know precisely zero people, women or men, (although I assume that Benatar's mythical "partisan feminists" are an all-female category) who are pushing for that. I have never met a female supremacist. Perhaps they exist; perhaps, out there on the internet's wilder fringes, they get together to plot the downfall of Stinky Men. Perhaps the Flat Earth Society is going to overcome the oppressive teachings of the round-planet theory-pushers any day now, too.

I just find it really hard to believe that, in a society whose upper echelons (politics, media and business) are absolutely dominated by men, these "partisan" feminists wield enough power to influence military policy, healthcare priorities, the criminal justice system and whatever on earth it is that Benatar thinks causes people to be happier seeing men as victims of violence, or any of his other laundry list of "oppressions" faced by men. Yet Day lets his outrageous statement pass without comment. In a long piece with only short statements from dissenting voices (Julie Bindel and Natasha Walter each get allocated a small space to reply), this failure to challenge Benatar is of great concern.

In the end, Day's article is fatally flawed because it does not put forward a remotely believable explanation for the difficulties faced by some men under patriarchy. The only people who mention the p-word in the article are Walter and Bindel. "Facts" about the "second sexism" are brought up with no explanation, no context and no discussion. Sadly, the article will doubtless be used by MRAs as "proof" that their thin arguments are actually valid, when all the problems facing men which the article lists are offshoots of patriarchy - unintended consequences of a system which causes disproportionate harm to women and girls. Talk about missing the point."

 

[unregistered]

 

[satindesire]

Yes to this. I've had people outright call me fake because, "No one is that perky all the time." Or even better, "Well YOU'RE one of those happy people." Some of us are just bubbly, über-enthusiastic types. I get that I can be annoying and try to tone it down, but I also like who I am and don't intend to change. Luckily this is something my husband loved about me when we met. He's recently said he loves that there's never a dull moment with me.

I think I'm going to go find the vids you're all referencing. I'm super curious now.

And, I've been following this thread for a while, even though I'm not a gamer, I certainly self-identify as a geek.

What's funny is that I seem to instantly connect with other girls that are Bubbly. I think that's why I loved you the minute I met you!

Personalities like ours are very polarizing, I've noticed. People will either think you're fabulous or they'd not piss on you if you were on fire. Like the Geico character "Flo"? You won't see a lot of "Eh she's okay" kind of comments on her!

 

[midwestyankee]

What's funny is that I seem to instantly connect with other girls that are Bubbly. I think that's why I loved you the minute I met you!

Personalities like ours are very polarizing, I've noticed. People will either think you're fabulous or they'd not piss on you if you were on fire. Like the Geico character "Flo"? You won't see a lot of "Eh she's okay" kind of comments on her!

Flo sells Progressive Insurance, one of the GEICO (formerly Government Employees Insurance Company) company's chief rivals in the low-cost insurance game. Just so we keep our polarizing women in their rightful boxes, so to speak.

 

[reallyunsure]

I have such a crush on Flo the Maitre'd Insurance.

 

[KoPilot]

What's funny is that I seem to instantly connect with other girls that are Bubbly. I think that's why I loved you the minute I met you!

Personalities like ours are very polarizing, I've noticed. People will either think you're fabulous or they'd not piss on you if you were on fire. Like the Geico character "Flo"? You won't see a lot of "Eh she's okay" kind of comments on her!

It's funny, I act like Flo half the time (or at least around S), and I get along with bubbly people IRL, but those commercials just really get on my nerves. I'm not sure if it's her or the way they're written though. :T

 

[Netzach]

Flo's OK. Like Hm. Ok. Whatevs. Flo is not twelve and isn't made to act twelve. Flo's put-together but not hyper sexualized. She actually gets to wear some clothes. She's perky but she's a perky just about 40, not 24 going on 6. I noticed her presence for all these reasons, I've always found it oddly reassuring. In a media that gives NOTHING to the femme-over-25 Flo is throwing me a bone.

 

[satindesire]

Flo sells Progressive Insurance, one of the GEICO (formerly Government Employees Insurance Company) company's chief rivals in the low-cost insurance game. Just so we keep our polarizing women in their rightful boxes, so to speak.

Yes, I sincerely apologize! You're absolutely right, it was very late and I was running on 20 plus hours of no sleep.

Flo's OK. Like Hm. Ok. Whatevs. Flo is not twelve and isn't made to act twelve. Flo's put-together but not hyper sexualized. She actually gets to wear some clothes. She's perky but she's a perky just about 40, not 24 going on 6. I noticed her presence for all these reasons, I've always found it oddly reassuring. In a media that gives NOTHING to the femme-over-25 Flo is throwing me a bone.

Some people find any hint of perkiness grating. I don't understand it personally, I -like- being around positive energy. It's refreshing!

It's funny, I act like Flo half the time (or at least around S), and I get along with bubbly people IRL, but those commercials just really get on my nerves. I'm not sure if it's her or the way they're written though. :T

The "No Mas Pantalones" one cracks me up every damn time.

 

[reallyunsure]

Flo's OK. Like Hm. Ok. Whatevs. Flo is not twelve and isn't made to act twelve. Flo's put-together but not hyper sexualized. She actually gets to wear some clothes. She's perky but she's a perky just about 40, not 24 going on 6. I noticed her presence for all these reasons, I've always found it oddly reassuring. In a media that gives NOTHING to the femme-over-25 Flo is throwing me a bone.

This is probably part of why she does it for me. Well, that and her excellent eyes.

 

[satindesire]

This is probably part of why she does it for me. Well, that and her excellent eyes.

Dark winged eyeliner is considered nearly universally flattering. It's one of those killer go-to looks that can suit nearly ANY woman, regardless of her eye shape, age or complexion. I recommend it to a lot of women who are new to cosmetics or unsure of what to wear to XYZ event.

There I go on makeup again. I should stop before I turn this thread into a Makeup Fairy thread.

 

[Dyslexicea]

It does not matter which is worse, but if they are the same it may not make sense to focus on a subculture but the whole culture instead.

I don't know why your statement bothers me so much but it does and I can't seem to just forget it, I've tried.

How can one change a whole culture without changing all of it parts? How do we change anything if we ignore the subcultures?

How can we stop street harassment if we ignore it? Stop Street Harassment!

How do we change our educational system if we ignore it?
What children read matters!

How do we change a culture where it's alright for little boys to sexually harass little girls if we ignore it. No, It's Not OK to 'Steal Kisses'

How do we change a male dominated media and male dominated advertisers if we ignore them.
Miss Representation
How the Media Failed Women in 2013

The harassment in the geek culture, in my profession, the medical profession, the educational profession, in politics and everywhere else in the Androcentric culture we live in is not about sex, it's about the loss of male privilege, and more so than not, white male privilege.
America's Angry White Men

The thing is, it's not just us who are negatively affected by our worldwide male dominated societies, it's all you men too. How long do you really think we're going to survive in the male dominated, male aggressive, male violent and may I add male pig headed societies this world is made up of. Some of us are going to have to change this 'The Mask You Live In' and I don't see men doing so it's just one more thing we have to do for you men and a large number of you are going to fight us all the way.

 

[Primalex]

The thing is, it's not just us who are negatively affected by our worldwide male dominated societies, it's all you men too. How long do you really think we're going to survive in the male dominated, male aggressive, male violent and may I add male pig headed societies this world is made up of.

Humanity did quite well the last 10000 years without feminists. So I'm not really worried.

 

[Dyslexicea]

Humanity did quite well the last 10000 years without feminists. So I'm not really worried.

Words only fit for a jackass or a chauvinistic man who lack knowledge of history or would just rather ignore it.

 

[satindesire]

Words only fit for a jackass or a chauvinistic man who lack knowledge of history or would just rather ignore it.

Too true.

Like I said before, it's about fear. They cling to the notion that sexism doesn't exist because they're terrified that they'd one day have to earn something on their own merits instead of everything being handed to them on a silver platter, and some men just don't have any merits.

 

[KoPilot]

Words only fit for a jackass or a chauvinistic man who lack knowledge of history or would just rather ignore it.

Humanity did quite well without electricity or indoor plumbing too, but you'll never hear him complain about them.

 

[midwestyankee]

Humanity did quite well without electricity or indoor plumbing too, but you'll never hear him complain about them.

Yeah, I'm sure all those people who died in various plagues would echo your assessment that "humanity did quite well" without a clean water supply.