best/worst pick up line ever

[Twelfthmonkey]

So..

Nice legs . . . what time do they open?

 

[jehoram]

Hey, sweetie, I think you're hot! Let's go somewhere and make a baby!

 

[Chernosoth]

You're not hot enough to fuck, but a blowjob would feel pretty good.

 

[LAHomedog]

Best: This always worked for me, but it has to be real,

"You have a great smile!"

 

[rushman1uk]

The worse pick-up line I've ever used...that worked...(so does that actually make it the best?) was:

Me: *looking the lady up and down, then look in her eyes and smile* "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

PMSL, I used that with the ex wife's work colleague! And we did fuck I was out with mates when I saw Gemma walking into the bar. She came over to me, we had a chat then I mentioned the Porn Star Shoes, then asked if she wanted a fuck. She did. Start of a 3 yr affair. Both of us married to others.

 

[CandK_inSE]

The two worst I ever heard were used by a buddy of mine when we went to Myrtle Beach when we were still in college (1991).

Line 1 -
Him : Do you have a quarter?
Her: Huh?
Him: I need to call my mother and tell her I just fell in love.

Line 2-
Him: Are those wings on your back?
Her: Huh?
Him: Only angels are as beautiful as you.

The cringeworthiness of these lines...

The dumbest idea in the history of trying to force a conversation? The Jon Taffer "butt funnel". When I saw that idiocy on Bar Rescue, I said to my wife, if I was ever at a place with that contraption and I happened to make contact with some girl, she'd accuse me of grabbing her ass and I'd be slapped at best, arrested at worst.

 

[srgreene]

Not Quite a Pickup Line

But it's one I heard several times in teens- more a seduction line, I suppose. It was

"I've never met anyone like you."

First couple of times I suppose I took it seriously, but quickly figured out what a phony line it was.

 

[kjb123]

Hey, want to go in halves on a bastard?

 

[overcompensation]

love story

I walked up to (from what im told a minimum of 20 different women that night) a woman close to closing time and asked her " Can i lick your butt?" ....We have been married almost 10yrs now....lol the ironic part is she doesnt like her butt licked.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Hey baby! Want to go for a ride in my love machine?

 

[Rip_isback]

Recently, I was thinking about this story from my past ... and then went on to think it would be fun to reintroduce this thread from ages ago.

This had to be one of the worst pick up lines, but ...

I was in the military when I was reassigned to a new duty station. So I moved the wife and family there. The wife and I had just be reintroduced after a year long deployment where we were separated. The reintroduction hadn't been going all that well and we weren't been getting along very well. So at the new station, I was working the night shift with about 10 other people from my team. It was about 4 in the morning and brain was dulled most of the way through a 12-hour shift. I sat down at the teletype to type up a message that had to go out. One of the female techs came up to me and stood over my shoulder for a moment as I was typing and asked "Do you know what would look good on you?" Concentrating on the message, I was only half paying attention to her and simply gave her the standard reply "No, what?" Things suddenly became so much clearer when she said "Me."

A few hours later, we were in her barracks room, fucking each other silly. We had a few more sessions after that.

She was slightly junior to me in rank so between that and the fact that I was married, I would have never propositioned her. But I'm sure glad that she had a corny pick up line and some raging hormones.

Any other good stories/pick up lines out there?

 

[DpropertyofR]

Worst I ever experienced was one night in my early 20s when I went to a bar with some friends. There was this drunk, greasy looking guy standing right next to the ladies’ room entrance trying to pick up every woman who walked by. He literally belched, “Hey, baby!” Guys, please don’t do this. I know approaching women can be hard, but no woman wants to be assailed by beer burps.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Is your twin sister drop-dead gorgeous, too?

 

[Xyhorn]

Of all possible lines, "Hey baby, wanna fuck?" is probably the most reliable. Even if turned down 98% of the time, the other 2% add up to much fun. Ask 200 times a day and get four fucks per diem. Try this at family reunions, too.

I had a friend who tried this approach. He heard it was 1 in 10 who would say yes. So I spent many a night out laughing at the appalled looks and slaps he recieved. That said it did on occasion work, usually when it made them laugh.

 

[Unblemished]

“Hey girl are you the Tower of Babel? Because you’re stacked in defiance of God and I won’t be able to speak coherently if you go down.”

 

[cutebak3r512]

" I am not an electrification, but i can light up your day "

 

[davion2308]

I've gone with candor and that seems to work.

"I should have some kind of pick-up line or conversation starter, like the polar bear thing, but that doesn't do it for me. You look fun and engaging. Can we talk for a bit?"

That has a high success rate.

 

[drobert44]

I've gone with candor and that seems to work.

"I should have some kind of pick-up line or conversation starter, like the polar bear thing, but that doesn't do it for me. You look fun and engaging. Can we talk for a bit?"

That has a high success rate.

How about......Are you taken?

 

[12oclocktales]

Nice legs - what time do they open?

 

[Pad_Foot]

Of course I don't have herpes, but if I did.............

 

[MNGuy]

The best I heard happened to my friend Mike. He was shopping in a store with his then girlfriend Jill, they got separated, so he was wandering around looking for her when a cute clerk asked him, "Can I help you find anything?"

Mike answered, "I'm just looking for my girlfriend."

Clerk, "Here I am."

Yes, he wound up dumping Jill and dating the clerk.

 

[jehoram]

Hey, sweetie! Wanna go halves on a baby?

 

[Celticlight]

Hey, sweetie! Wanna go halves on a baby?

A friend of mine used to enjoy up/downgrading this to 'wanna go halfers on a bastard?'

Success rate: 0%

 

[littlecordelera]

My job used to require me to travel to different cities, two or three times a year, to give talks. I would get picked up at the airport by an intern, and this person would drive me to all the scheduled venues and then drop me off at my hotel that evening. Those days were always very long days. On one trip, my driver was the worst driver you can possibly imagine. She was giddy and talkative and a delightful person, but all the while, I thought I was going to die. When she dropped me off at my hotel, bouncing off the curb with one last "Oops!," my nerves were shot. I checked in at the front desk and immediately headed straight to the bar. I rolled my luggage up to a bar stool, climbed into the stool, and ordered a glass of wine. A guy two seats over looked down at my luggage, looked up at me, and said, "Bad day, huh?"

We've been dating ever since.

 

[Celticlight]

My job used to require me to travel to different cities, two or three times a year, to give talks. I would get picked up at the airport by an intern, and this person would drive me to all the scheduled venues and then drop me off at my hotel that evening. Those days were always very long days. On one trip, my driver was the worst driver you can possibly imagine. She was giddy and talkative and a delightful person, but all the while, I thought I was going to die. When she dropped me off at my hotel, bouncing off the curb with one last "Oops!," my nerves were shot. I checked in at the front desk and immediately headed straight to the bar. I rolled my luggage up to a bar stool, climbed into the stool, and ordered a glass of wine. A guy two seats over looked down at my luggage, looked up at me, and said, "Bad day, huh?"

We've been dating ever since.

Let me just write that intricate, sophisticated nugget of wisdom down so that I can study it for its powers