Bistro Bijou

[Safe_Bet]

If it taste's like butter, but it's not...




Keep licking anyway!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Silly. Last Tango In Paris...

I actually wrote a very bad poem about it.

I said margarine, though it was likely butter. In the movie, anyway. (The French, you know. So concerned about ingredients.)

I knew it was one of those classic Brando porn movies...

I know very few people who don't deserve real butter. I would certainly never approach anyone with anything less than pure Danish unsalted.

Whipped, ideally.

bj

 

[Safe_Bet]

I would certainly never approach anyone with anything less than pure Danish unsalted.

Whipped, ideally.

bj

Whoo Hoo! How abouts whipping my 'Swedish' unsalted!

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Whoo Hoo! How abouts whipping my 'Swedish' unsalted!

Swedish? Even better. Swedes make the best buttah.

oy I must go. it's late and I have to come back here soon enough anyway. To the shop, I mean.


I'd stay here all the time if I could.

have a fabulous evening, all.

bj

 

[Safe_Bet]

oh shit. Amy just spanked it for you. Ummmf! God that felt good!

 

[Safe_Bet]

Swedish? Even better. Swedes make the best buttah.

oy I must go. it's late and I have to come back here soon enough anyway. To the shop, I mean.


I'd stay here all the time if I could.

have a fabulous evening, all.

bj

I've just been told that I can either meekly follow Amy to bed, where she will make passionate love to me or she will drag me by my hair and fuck the living shit out of me.

Guess, I'm leaving too.

Just don't know how, as of yet!



Ouch! you bitch - that hurts...

night, night

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Idle hands are the Devil's tools, y'know.

The devil's tool?!!! whooo hoooo

Hey, UYS, I'm not sure when you're leaving for vacation, but I think a bon voyage shin dig is in order. So boys and girls, I declare tonight in the bistro,

ANNIE-PALOOZA!​

Jimi Hendrix

• Voodoo Child
  
  
• Purple Haze
  
  
• Fire

The Mamas & The Papas

• California Dreamin’
  
  
• Monday, Monday
  

The Beatles

• Day Tripper
  
  
• Paperback Writer
  
  
• Hello, Goodbye

The bar is fully stocked and the pots are bubbling. Special, ahem, accoutrements have been provided. In the back room, you'll find Leon, Orlando Bloom and a vat of olive oil, to use at your discretion. Your cake is in the back room, with the boys.

P.S. Tz's looking to drop his purity score.....you might be able to help. There's room for him in the back room.....just a suggestion. I like to help, when I can.
Bj's charitable spirit has rubbed off on me.

Happy holiday, lady.

Whooo hoooooo TZ, Leon andddddddd Orlando! All at the same time? Ohhhhhhhh please!! I won't know which way to turn but I know just how to accomodate them all!! Homb too if he cares to join in!

Geisha Grrrl always carries a miniature one on her utility obi. So we're good to go.

I had a dead hamster in my freezer for a while. It was years ago and I don't remember why.

I hope it's gone now. Wait, it must be. We've gotten a new fridge since then.

I'm glad that wasn't on the quiz. My score would have been even lower.

bj

I hope gnasher didn't see that twil make him turn a funny colour

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I've just been told that I can either meekly follow Amy to bed, where she will make passionate love to me or she will drag me by my hair and fuck the living shit out of me.

Guess, I'm leaving too.

Just don't know how, as of yet!



Ouch! you bitch - that hurts...

night, night

I should think the choice would be obvious.

The devil's tool?!!! whooo hoooo



Whooo hoooooo TZ, Leon andddddddd Orlando! All at the same time? Ohhhhhhhh please!! I won't know which way to turn but I know just how to accomodate them all!! Homb too if he cares to join in!

I hope gnasher didn't see that twil make him turn a funny colour

Well it wasn't my hamster.

No wait. I remember now. It wasn't a hamster at all. It was a crow.
Or maybe there was a hamster in there too, at some point. I do know I've definitely had a crow in my freezer. But there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that.

bj

 

[Safe_Bet]

I should think the choice would be obvious. bj

You'd think - but no! Amy can be dommy, but she simply refuses to try any BSDM. I'm married to a fucking conservative lesbian prude!

I have to frustrate the hell out of her or get her drunk before I can get her into "Hold me down and do me hard" mode.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I should think the choice would be obvious.




Well it wasn't my hamster.

No wait. I remember now. It wasn't a hamster at all. It was a crow.
Or maybe there was a hamster in there too, at some point. I do know I've definitely had a crow in my freezer. But there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that.

bj

You found him with his beak in the butter?

 

[unpredictablebijou]

You'd think - but no! Amy can be dommy, but she simply refuses to try any BSDM. I'm married to a fucking conservative lesbian prude!

I have to frustrate the hell out of her or get her drunk before I can get her into "Hold me down and do me hard" mode.

Y'all are adorable. And it's funny - you often sound just like most straight couples I know.

Maybe *attempting national lightbulb spell; work with me here* just maybe, gay couples are perfectly fine and deserve the same treatment and rights as anyone else.

Wacky!

You found him with his beak in the butter?

lolz!
actually, it wasn't my crow either. I had one friend who found it and wanted it preserved, and another friend who knows how to do that. So my freezer was sort of a crow bus terminal.

Lots of things happen around my house that I don't find out about til much later. Which is probably a good thing.

bj

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Midsummers Eve
We said we would fuck to greet the sun
but you fell asleep
snoring against my breast
each breathe out blowing against my nipple
engorged and waiting.

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

I'm back from vacation. You ever feel like you need a vacation from your vacation? I guess that only happens when you take a vacation with your kids and your parents. The ten-hour drive didn't help.

 

[loststar]

wow, you have my sympathies, that sounds like an exhausting time.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Welcome back Lady I go Tuesday so while I am away I expect you to keep everyone in line and someone has to keep Leon happy in the backroom .... oh BTW I think there's a bit of olive oil left in the barrel from last nights orgy (oops party) altho the lads could be a bit tired now ....... nudge nudge wink wink say no more

 

[Safe_Bet]

I'm back from vacation. You ever feel like you need a vacation from your vacation? I guess that only happens when you take a vacation with your kids and your parents. The ten-hour drive didn't help.

Wow! We obviously have different definitions of "vacation"! I shoot my kids with the tranq gun just to drive across town!

Ten hours with kids and parents? I'd shoot myself with the tranq gun!


Repeatedly.


Point blank range!


Directly into my brain!

 

[loststar]

look mommie for the new fridge

I see stars fall each night
that is how I live my life
rejoice that when I see the sky,
starlight confetti celebrated
I am sad that you cant share them with me
that when you stare at the sky for hours and hours
you do not delight
it is never just right
you could see
just like me
if only you didn’t try so hard

 

[unpredictablebijou]

*staggering*

I've just been through another 75 bistro pages collecting poetry for the fridge.
It takes a while because I get caught up in watching you beautiful people interact with each other. I'll say simply that I'm once again desperately in love with every one of you. You are, as sassy has said, as compassionate and insightful a pack of deviants as I've ever had the privilege to know. Bless you all. I'm only up to page 200 as yet but my eyeballs are falling out so I must stop and do the rest later.

Cool fridge this time, huh?

1. Childhood comfort food?

I smell Gran's kitchen when rising dough
exhales a beery smell and the heat roses cheeks
already bright with sledding and snow forts,

sitting at the table looking through windows
decorated with Jack Frost's Pines in Winter
painting on the glass behind
the blooming cactus;
at odds with the time of year
apart from its festive name.

Steaming mugs of milky tea and hot chocolate;
fresh heels of strong bread dunked to melt
butter that glosses lips
before they're kissed goodnight.

Wake up to the sirens wails
body pulls me out of bed
before the mind can move
robe
house is dark
not night
loud wailing
spurning my feet on
I pull at the back door
pull on my daddies coat
I hesitate
the cats
the wailing gets louder
I pull the door closed as
I step into the rain
steps to the basement are quick
I aririve
heart thudding in the quiet dark
thoughts of news reports
phone calls
flashes of light
cracks of thunder
loud
louder
its close
closer
courage
have courage
deep breath
thinking of Thor
we will be ok
ok
ok
ok
silence
rap
crack
tap tap tap
stones of ice
hail
this is hail
think
think
what is next
the hail dies away
as I pace
back
frorth
back
forth
wish I had thought to grab shoes
or better yet
keep some down here
silence
what is going on
why havent the neibors
come down to the basement
silence
long
still
silence
My cat cries
a low mournful cry above me
he is better in the house I tell myself
it will be ok
the basement would only scare him
another cry
I wish I knew what was going on
the radio is in the camping gear
upstairs
do I dare
it is quiet
I think it has passed
I step ot onto the flooded stoop
up the steps
slowly, tenatively
through the back door
into the camping gear
radio on
shoes on
ready
"Severe thunderstorms, hail and upper rotation in this storm cell, the sirens were set off to warn people of the hail, but there is no tornado, only upper rotation, it is unlikely that this storm will allow lower rotation, I repeat there is no tornado, but the athourties set off the sirens to warn people to seek shelter from the hail, this storm has begun flooding the..."

Atheists cannot pray
to god. Not because
they don't believe she
exists, but because
they feel too silly.
When emotion hits you
hard enough, you'll pray,
because there are
foxholes outside of battlefields.

But atheists, see, feel
silly, and nothing is more
painful than feeling silly
by yourself.

But sometimes you still
have to do something.
The walls come crashing in
and you sit by yourself
trapped in your own skin
and nothing exists but this
desire to cry out. Mom can't
help, and dad can't either,
so you cry to a Providence
that has deserted, or a Fate
that does not care. Mankind
does not glean solace from
an absent Architect, and God
is invented. But the atheist
cannot make this step,
cannot bridge this gap.

Today I worship at the altar
of the Warlord of Punk, and
pray that Joe can soul my
sad away. For I have sinned
against my world in selfishness.
I need sight, I need prescience,
I need patience, and they hide
from me. They sulk in the
corners of my soul, dredged in
bitters and angry hurt,
cursing the calendar and
pissed to the gills.

You work so hard at being hard,
and somedays have to remember
how to be soft.

Petite déjeuner

sweetness don't argue
you taste like café au lait
in Paris petit pains feel good
when slathered in butter
or dipped in chocolat chaud

tastes of childhood explored
by jaded palates coated
with revels hidden from morning
in the sans sol caves of Pigalle
shut against the daylight

marmalade framboise is alien
on those tables where ash
and wine spill after midnight
but I taste it in your kiss
when I wake my sweetness

Good morning everyone!!

Yeppers Anschul, ya got me beat! Theres a number missing so I couldn't do the math, but I believe you! Good job, you!

Now. I'm in shock. I just this minute heard that Rybby died. Can someone fill me in?

He and I wrote this, and we had so much fun! We are 2 very different people, but we sure could dance.

By Boo and Me (Rybby) and the dog makes three

To Kill A Tree

"To make paper you must kill a tree.
What words could merit such a death?
Songs of love, "To be or not to be"
should steal not life, but merely breath.

Though breath is life, whose life’s more dear
poet’s word or whispering leaf?
Purpose holds a place we must revere
for all who love must too know grief.

Forest floors are thick with end design
and man makes use of what he can.
Trees and words with labor we combine
for death is not some noxious plan.

Since God loves life, but poets lie
to feed a worm a man must die."

This was a partner poem; what a wonderful dancer is the fish!

I am very sad right now.

But I'll be okay in a minute.

Bijou's Latest Avatar

The stick doll that was Martha Graham:
A fist strikes head, a foot kicks sky.
Swathed in Phoenician drapery,
Medea angstifying, nigh.

To fold or not to fold, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler to offer in the grind
Sausage and roni of outrageous forms
Or take aim against a double cheese
And by opposing it to dine, to eat
No more the simple 'shroom and cheese
And plaintive fork the Puckish avocado leak.

Is this an East Coast pizza which I see before me,
The crust toward my hand? Come, let me fold thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, spicy vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? Or art thou but
A pizza of the mind, a false creation, deep-dished,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressèd brain?

East Coast Pizza Rap.

Da Pizza
I honor
In my greasy hand
As I
Devour
Triple double deep pan
Combo meat
BBQ
Mushroom treat
Onion too
Chicken savor
Cheesy flavor
Da Pizza
Da Pizza
Da Pizza in my hand

I live the secret.
Through sunlight filtered fragile leaves
a flower opens.
Waves crash to shore
creatures flee my stormy blast.
Mountains erupting
spewing fire
then crumble to the sea.
Fly my sky see my mighty eagle soar
and tremble at my power,
my deserts drain you dry.
Waterfalls cascade to a dream world
in caverns deep
a secret world
I am the secret
I am earth.

When I was writing and posting derty storeez here I got a lot of cock pics in my feedback mail. Some with ooey gooey stuff kinda like somewhere's not in the balls of the penis in the photo. Oooo.. good same title challenge "Not In The Balls Of The Penis In The Pic"

Alliterate me an orgasm and I'll ooh
tomorrow I'll lick the end
of daylight's edge and cum crazy
on your cock. Slip Slide and Splash
the mons messin' ends at dawn
in the light of a penis flash.

Annie smiles
door slams
Leon scarpers

Somewhere behind the green door
lies amoral debauchery
don't linger by the entrance
for the call will draw you in.
Somewhere behind your mind
where the darkest secrets hide
you know you want to be there
in this den of iniquity.
Don't be fooled by the sweetmeats
or the music soft and low,
see the shadows rise to greet you
hands slide across your skin.
You'll be led into the back room
taught the intricacy of tied
every pleasure know is given
if you dare to come inside.

Each night
I am surrounded
by pieces
of broken
soul.
I pick them up
and dust them off
and put them back
where they go
trying once
more
to hold them in place
by will
and voice
and heart.
Each night ends
when I think
them set
each piece to its' place
each place to its' piece.
Then
the next night finds
pieces scattered around anew.
I am forever
picking them up
and putting them back
and praying that I am there
the next night
to do it again.
Each piece tears a piece of me,
and yet
I am made whole
by giving
each piece a place and
each place a piece.

I
rain of twilight
world drenched in sepia tone
power flowing through the air
mantra of the warrior
chant of adolecence
flowing through my brain
transforming me

desire ebbing and flowing
stories spinning in and out of reality
truth echoing in my heart
beating to the bass line

exploit my power
fill my pleasures
dip me in enchantments
suspend me here
for I can feel the storm coming



II
wet from the rain
wet from before
wet from the internal storm
ocean of my being crashing upon my shores
violent pounding of water
rising of the current

hope you know how to swim
I wont save you
no raft will survive
only the tenacity of human form
skill, strength, solid swimming
brutal wet wall coming down

no hate
it is gone
only violence
sheer utter unexplained torrents
wind howling pushing power further
destruction within my civilization
all the cultivation wiped out
only the wild will survive


dark
quiet
pool
reflect
what is left




III
pull me up
bring me back
I am transformed
yet only has the spark changed
it humms higher
and only these eyes shall know what happened here today

well I'm off to bed, again, yet I thought I'd leave you all with what little I have acomplished this day

redneck hairstyling


he twists the strands around his fingers
gold damp with sweat
fun woven knots
wont come out soon
scent of heat
released as he pulls

released as he pulls
inflamed lips brush
then part
then slide
he plays with the notions
like a puppeteer
just learning how fun the craft can be

lose the trappings



playing in my own head
figureing my losses
counting my blessings
letting posion slip through my fingertips

I should go home
I have responsibilites to prepare
think slow
savor
this moment
before tainting it with thought

circle of death
painful pride
is better than ignorance
the varnish comes away
recognize the beauty
before it fades

enjoy life
keep the day
smile
that is your greatest acomplishmet

And since I still didn't fess up to my secrets. Here's a poem instead:

I want it bare
bulb ugly with shadows
as my only make up
and the light swinging
like a cheap disco ball.
For words to hide
in the cracks of the walls
like roaches in the light.
To boil language down
until we are without semantics
and everything is understood.
I want to feel the teeth
that hide in your mind
eat away civility
until we are raw and juices run
down my chin. Have gravity
turn sideways and force the wall
into my back, feel my wrists cuffed
in skin and the world divided
into a three four rhythm
where the bass plays
so deep inside that our ribs
shake and like a sheet
of rain on a window pane
I bleed beneath my skin.

fans are on, windows open
too fucking hot for clothes
strip them off before the door even gets closed

jump in the shower
wash off the sweat
step out, not minding the wet

contemplates escaping into the air-conditioned public
but its hard to perv on lit
without people having a snit

besides I have dishes to do
and there is no better way to clean house
than in the nude

If I were to dine with the world
embodied as one
I think we would argue.
I would laugh at words
like nice and remind you
it’s silly to assume
I am
any one thing
or anyone
you could ever know.

I would open my mind
and dip one finger inside
and let you lick the thoughts
of lust from my skin. Taste
the slap of my impatience
and feel the centrifugal force
that comes from the constant churn
of appetites disconnected
from food. Let you watch

while I slip
between the closing rocks
and shed my dying skin.
Give you the choice to stand
still while I consume you
or move with me
through the absence of light.
Step forward without floors
past open cell doors where eyes
never welcome and voices never whisper
hello from the darkness.

Accept the quiet, kiss the screams
and fight your need for a simplicity
that would shuffle us back into one
stacked deck with the smiling
joker on top that you call your queen.
Leave us splayed open and let me
bleed outside the lines. Come inside me

knowing I have swallowed the key
to my internal cages and I am not one
but many creatures.

bj, here's one for the fridge

Pungi

Some call it
firewater
demon ale
Lucifer's elixir
because, you see
some like to say
The devil made me do it
depending on the crime
I give it no name
For what can you call
bottled libation
that coaxes you
out of yourself
like a snake charmer,
trusty pungi in hand
Can you see him?
The serpent is already there
coiled, but ready
awaiting permission to dance
Holy water, perhaps?
Serum that makes me
more me than
I already be
certainly sounds divine

 

[Safe_Bet]

OK, I know that this doesn't have ANYTHING to do with poetry (and yes, it IS damn gross)
but DAMN, it is the funniest picture I've seen in years!

"Thar She Blows!"​

 

[sassynyc]

*spit take*

I can't even compose a sarcastic comment for that one. I'm too busy laughing

 

[LadynStFreknBed]

Welcome back Lady I go Tuesday so while I am away I expect you to keep everyone in line and someone has to keep Leon happy in the backroom .... oh BTW I think there's a bit of olive oil left in the barrel from last nights orgy (oops party) altho the lads could be a bit tired now ....... nudge nudge wink wink say no more

oh, sorry... i used the rest of the olive oil with Literocat in the Survivor contest thread. hey, but i have to go to the grocery store tomorrow. Should i pick up some more? How about whipped cream? Are we low on that too? Maybe someone should make a list.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Annie's going on vacation so we probably need to feed that blue rat of hers.

What the hell DO you feed blue rats?

D'oh! Of course! = Blue Cheese!

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Rat? RAT!!!!!!!!! Bite her nipples gnasher!

 

[Safe_Bet]

Rat? RAT!!!!!!!!! Bite her nipples gnasher!

God - I'm sorry UYS! It's not a rat? What is it then - a puppy?
What breed? "Ratt-weiler"?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Sniff it's a hamster and behave yourselves my sister is here to look after my dogs