Bistro Bijou

[EroticOrogeny]

Thankyou honey and now you've made me cry! NO i tell a lie it wasn't you made me cry I've just had my hand slapped when it didnt really need to be slapped and made me wonder who my friends really are ....... beginning to think I have truer friends on that side of the pond than this. Which then leads me to think perhaps it's me that's the asshole after all because you have never met me and she has.

I too have not met you in person, but I think you're a fine woman.
Sometimes those close to use either don't mean to hurt us, or they have their own problems (to which we sometimes contribute).
At times we can find a touch of gratitude (and perhaps a touch of shame) when we compare our situation with someone else who appears worse. But we still have our own feelings to deal with.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Thanks hun xx she dredged something up from the past and slapped me in the face with it even when she knew I was already upset about something else

 

[unpredictablebijou]

I'm not giving up on the "perfect morning" assignment because it's generating some stellar answers so far. Keep it up, lovely ones.

But annie, love.

I add my voice to those who remind you that you're a wonderful human. Yes, sometimes everyone can fall down, act badly, have to apologize for something, but people treating you badly is NEVER something you deserve. Never ever, no matter what.

Your story struck a chord; I know that part of my own mother's abuse was her defensiveness about the abuse my stepfather was perpetrating on me. She didn't want to know but at some level she knew, and there was some part of her that decided that I was somehow at fault; somehow at age 9 I was being "seductive" or causing it to happen. I myself came to believe that it was my fault that this was happening, and it took a lot of time and a lot of therapy to undo that damage to my self-perception: that I was causing it, asking for it, that I deserved it.

For me, it took the form of being told I was possessed by demons, Jezebel in particular, and going through regular exorcism ceremonies, often in the middle of the night. There were two ways in which I was being assaulted in bed, and I can't say for sure which one was worse. I can say this though: I don't envy those who went through physical abuse in addition to emotional and mental abuse. I was never beaten, and rarely physically hit in any way. I can't imagine how awful and terrifying it must be to feel that you might get hit by someone bigger and stronger than you, and my heart goes out to the many, many people who have had to grow up that way and then find their way through to some kind of trust and emotional health.

Annie, you survived, and more: you thrived, you made your own way, and you have won. The less you are defined by those leftover judgments, the more beautiful and successful you become. I'm damn proud to call you friend.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

As a palate cleanser, I'll offer my own morning:

I'm thinking it would happen late (like noon) and start with coffee (bien sur) and pastries and fruit, which we would mostly ignore until later. I'd be playing some Vivaldi, which is always a fine way to start the morning. Sunlight, but not too much, and a warm breeze through an open window. It would be mellow, and funny, and slick, and hot, and companionable, and completely gleeful.

I'm not saying who would be there. But I'll say it would have to be a really large bed, and that everyone would be very, very fond of each other.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I'm not giving up on the "perfect morning" assignment because it's generating some stellar answers so far. Keep it up, lovely ones.

But annie, love.

I add my voice to those who remind you that you're a wonderful human. Yes, sometimes everyone can fall down, act badly, have to apologize for something, but people treating you badly is NEVER something you deserve. Never ever, no matter what.

Your story struck a chord; I know that part of my own mother's abuse was her defensiveness about the abuse my stepfather was perpetrating on me. She didn't want to know but at some level she knew, and there was some part of her that decided that I was somehow at fault; somehow at age 9 I was being "seductive" or causing it to happen. I myself came to believe that it was my fault that this was happening, and it took a lot of time and a lot of therapy to undo that damage to my self-perception: that I was causing it, asking for it, that I deserved it.

For me, it took the form of being told I was possessed by demons, Jezebel in particular, and going through regular exorcism ceremonies, often in the middle of the night. There were two ways in which I was being assaulted in bed, and I can't say for sure which one was worse. I can say this though: I don't envy those who went through physical abuse in addition to emotional and mental abuse. I was never beaten, and rarely physically hit in any way. I can't imagine how awful and terrifying it must be to feel that you might get hit by someone bigger and stronger than you, and my heart goes out to the many, many people who have had to grow up that way and then find their way through to some kind of trust and emotional health.

Annie, you survived, and more: you thrived, you made your own way, and you have won. The less you are defined by those leftover judgments, the more beautiful and successful you become. I'm damn proud to call you friend.

It's funny for the most part my friends don't know a great deal about my childhood though some now it wasn't a happy one not something you talk about makes you feel dirty somehow and makes other people feel uncomfortable you can see it in their faces

As a palate cleanser, I'll offer my own morning:

I'm thinking it would happen late (like noon) and start with coffee (bien sur) and pastries and fruit, which we would mostly ignore until later. I'd be playing some Vivaldi, which is always a fine way to start the morning. Sunlight, but not too much, and a warm breeze through an open window. It would be mellow, and funny, and slick, and hot, and companionable, and completely gleeful.

I'm not saying who would be there. But I'll say it would have to be a really large bed, and that everyone would be very, very fond of each other.

We're having a gang bang we're having a ball we're having a gang bang against the wall we'd like you to join us ........ Gangbang

 

[Homburg]

Jimmy Cliff, "The Harder They Come"

This is a studio version from the Soundboy Show, and I dig it. Figured I'd share.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Jimmy Cliff, "The Harder They Come"

This is a studio version from the Soundboy Show, and I dig it. Figured I'd share.

NICE!

Been wildly busy for the last week or so. Haven't even had time to come in and brag.

Valentine's day was so happy and so beautiful. But more importantly, we raised about $720 for the Red Cross last friday. Absolutely amazing party. Legendary. And I wore a corset for the first, and I believe LAST, time. Unless someone gets me a camo one. Then, perhaps.

I'm wishing everyone a very happy and blessed Fat Tuesday. Anybody giving anything up for Lent?

I'm giving up lint. No lint for me until Easter.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

happy pancake day from me too I am giving up brown paper packages tied up with string

 

[The_Fool]

NICE!

Been wildly busy for the last week or so. Haven't even had time to come in and brag.

Valentine's day was so happy and so beautiful. But more importantly, we raised about $720 for the Red Cross last friday. Absolutely amazing party. Legendary. And I wore a corset for the first, and I believe LAST, time. Unless someone gets me a camo one. Then, perhaps.

I'm wishing everyone a very happy and blessed Fat Tuesday. Anybody giving anything up for Lent?

I'm giving up lint. No lint for me until Easter.

Navel lint?

 

[unpredictablebijou]

happy pancake day from me too I am giving up brown paper packages tied up with string

What about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

What about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens?

no noooooo you ask too much! and anyway kittens would look very odd without whiskers

 

[EroticOrogeny]

We had a super Valentines day, too.
No plans to give anything up for Lent.
Last year my wife said we should give up sex for Lent, but of course we didn't.

 

[Homburg]

Last year my wife said we should give up sex for Lent, but of course we didn't.

That is crazy talk.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

That is crazy talk.

There will come a day when sex doesn't seem that important but I guess not quite yet for you

 

[Homburg]

There will come a day when sex doesn't seem that important but I guess not quite yet for you

Thankfully, no.

And, from studies that I've read, the declination of interest in sex is largely a result of hormonal degradation. Basically, as men age, testosterone levels draw down. Partly it is a result of the aging process, but more of it is related to the loss of muscle mass due to inactivity. So I figure if I keep on lifting and protecting my muscle mass, I will some day grow up to be a pervy old man still capable of getting my perv on.

Rawr.

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Indeed, health is a big part of perviness. I have faith in you, Homburg; can't see you slowing down anytime soon. And of course you have lots of estrogen hanging around to inspire you...

 

[Homburg]

I certainly hope I won't be slowing down. I'm slow enough as it is. My 40yd times are horrendous...

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Actually I was referring to me really Ron still chases me round the bedroom regularly

 

[unpredictablebijou]

That is a completely adorable image.

But for shame. Makin' him chase you around, and him with a bad knee and all...

 

[EroticOrogeny]

Health is important for sure.
But I think our attitudes are very important.
Our brains can be our sexiest organs, but can go in lots of other directions.
For me, the right partner is also essential.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr am so pissed off with 'what pissed you off today thread' seems they close ranks if you have words with one of there own over there. Homb your names been dragged into it now sorry about that but whether you agree with them or not I stick to my guns if you force sex on a woman just because you are angry with her in my mind that is rape

 

[unpredictablebijou]

Dolly, you'll be safer over here if you need to vent some more. I see what you're saying but I don't think it's going to do any good to argue with folks whose relationships cover a lot of radical ground to begin with. And I'm seeing some dynamics being pulled in that don't have anything to do with the current conflict.

To each his own, mais oui?

I for one would never play with someone if I were angry at them, but that's a style choice for me, and I wouldn't assert that it has to be that way for everyone.

It does bring up an interesting topic, though: Sex when you're angry with someone, either in or outside any sort of D/s dynamic. How do y'all feel about that? Ever use sex to fix a conflict? Ever have a good or bad experience bringing anger into the bedroom? Ever take anything out on a partner with good or bad results?

For example: I had a lover who really enjoyed being able to offer to me that I could "take it out on him" when I was angry or frustrated at something in my day. It was in his map to enjoy allowing women to enact and externalize their frustrations using him as the substitute. There was a lot of hinkiness for me in being able to go there; I found that I couldn't really get angry as such and trust myself to behave well, but that if I was mildly frustrated about something it was a pretty good outlet to just lose myself in a flogging, or whatever.

Your thoughts, Bistrovians?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

They just aren't listening to me I've got nothing against other peoples chosen life styles but the guy who started it distinctly said 'he wasn t her master' and 'he was making her have sex against her will' ..... I know nothing about any other threads to say otherwise and if they are so damn important why didn't he mention that he was in that sort of relationship? I shan't bother carrying on the argument because they are all ganging up on me like kids in the school yard and if that's their sort of mentality they can stuff their bullying tactics as far up their arses as they can get them because thats where shit belongs. Oh sorry I forgot I am but a mere woman who is not allowed to have an opinion that differs from a man

 

[Homburg]

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr am so pissed off with 'what pissed you off today thread' seems they close ranks if you have words with one of there own over there. Homb your names been dragged into it now sorry about that but whether you agree with them or not I stick to my guns if you force sex on a woman just because you are angry with her in my mind that is rape

For the most part, I avoid that thread. Too much grief.

That said, Unknoown, or however it is spelled, is on my "too annoying to pay attention to" list. Mistersir, however grating he may be in that instance, is actually good people. He's just argumentative and generally cranky. Get beyond that and he's an alright chap.

As to the issue, I think that your initial comment was not out of line. The ensuing melee rapidly became pointless simply because your sparring partner is the sort that will spin you up just because. See the above paragraph for my opinion on him.

I would just walk away. It's not worth it.

--

I for one would never play with someone if I were angry at them, but that's a style choice for me, and I wouldn't assert that it has to be that way for everyone.

It's how I roll too. One of my major rules that I do not transgress against is that I do not play rough, or punish, when angry. And I'm not just talking about sex. I keep to that rule with my kids, martial arts, etc. I'm even edgy about lifting when angry. Too much chance that I'm going to destroy something, be it myself, my partner, etc.

It does bring up an interesting topic, though: Sex when you're angry with someone, either in or outside any sort of D/s dynamic. How do y'all feel about that? Ever use sex to fix a conflict? Ever have a good or bad experience bringing anger into the bedroom? Ever take anything out on a partner with good or bad results?

I have, when I was much younger. It was bad. Yes, it was consensual, but it was not good judgement on my part, and it made me feel less than stellar about myself.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

For the most part, I avoid that thread. Too much grief.

That said, Unknoown, or however it is spelled, is on my "too annoying to pay attention to" list. Mistersir, however grating he may be in that instance, is actually good people. He's just argumentative and generally cranky. Get beyond that and he's an alright chap.

As to the issue, I think that your initial comment was not out of line. The ensuing melee rapidly became pointless simply because your sparring partner is the sort that will spin you up just because. See the above paragraph for my opinion on him.

I would just walk away. It's not worth it.

--



It's how I roll too. One of my major rules that I do not transgress against is that I do not play rough, or punish, when angry. And I'm not just talking about sex. I keep to that rule with my kids, martial arts, etc. I'm even edgy about lifting when angry. Too much chance that I'm going to destroy something, be it myself, my partner, etc.



I have, when I was much younger. It was bad. Yes, it was consensual, but it was not good judgement on my part, and it made me feel less than stellar about myself.

Actually I was thinking of you a lot when I was having my say ... if I ever wanted to be in that sort of relationship you are the kind of man I would chose someone I could trust implicitly who would take care of me as well as all that other stuff. Surely that sort of life style has to be built on trust?
I lost my rag when MisterSir told me to shut up lol Then I had visions of some guy shoving a cock up his arse against HIS will see how he liked it!