Blurt Thread III - Emporium of Unexpected Exclamations & Revelations

[haha_on_me]

Noted. Cedar oil in the back pocket. Wasn’t going to tell them to sniff my ass though I nearly did tell the sales staff to kiss it. Think I’m going to pass on the beard, I don’t have the jaw for it.

*snickers* this made me laugh.

 

[haha_on_me]

Having a water fight out the front with your kids on a balmy summer evening while wearing a pencil skirt, silk blouse and heels kicked aside on the pavement.

These moments.

These moments, what life is all about.

 

[bunny4med]

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch

 

[Saucyminx]

Is it possible to not really be angry with someone and still wish a raging case of gonorrhea and a festering case of crabs on them, for educational purposes only? Asking for a friend.

 

[pplwatching]

Having a water fight out the front with your kids on a balmy summer evening while wearing a pencil skirt, silk blouse and heels kicked aside on the pavement.

These moments.

These are the days of our lives.

 

[PuckIt]

Is it possible to not really be angry with someone and still wish a raging case of gonorrhea and a festering case of crabs on them, for educational purposes only? Asking for a friend.

**makes mental note to never, never be within five states when this lady gets really angry**

And, aww. Missed the boobs. Ah, well. Just knowing they were hanging out to cheer me up had a salutary effect.

And if Bunny4Med is gonna start that shit, I'm not skeered. I've got my vorpal sword ready to hand (thanks to just the idea of boobie pics being posted around here somewhere) to go hunting that manxome foe.

 

[Saucyminx]

Yes. I suspect there is someone else we know who feels much like that.

You would actually be completely incorrect on that front, Pharabroh Imbrotep.

I told the Magic man I wouldn’t unfriend him from fb. I think I lied.

I spent $800 on car repairs today. I think I shall start drinking immediately. On the upside the Assistant manager at the garage was quite the cutie patootie, and at least I have not lost my flirting mojo.

 

[Saucyminx]

**makes mental note to never, never be within five states when this lady gets really angry**

And, aww. Missed the boobs. Ah, well. Just knowing they were hanging out to cheer me up had a salutary effect.

And if Bunny4Med is gonna start that shit, I'm not skeered. I've got my vorpal sword ready to hand (thanks to just the idea of boobie pics being posted around here somewhere) to go hunting that manxome foe.

Don’t worry. They always make an appearance sooner or later. In fact, perhaps sooner. This is turning into a Wednesday thing apparently.

 

[AlotLikePsyche]

Liar liar pants on fire.

 

[Miles Long]

Play some goddamn defense!

 

[Saucyminx]

Tank by the Seatbelts

Dat Trumpet tho.

 

[Miles Long]

So that’s what 8 hours of sleep feels like!

Only 8? Ouch!

 

[Saucyminx]

Oh Penelope. You will never know how close you came to having your bun bitten.

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

I’ve been on Lit 5+ years and today is the first time anyone has asked me to send them nude photos. Should I be insulted, flattered, amused or confused?

Amused!!! Of course!!! Hand to forehead!

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

That awkward yet oddly arousing moment when your boss is looking down the back of your shirt at your tattoo because he can just see it’s outline through your top.

Maybe you should have thought twice before tattooing RIDE IT LIKE YOU RENTED IT! On your back!

 

[Miles Long]

Ready... aim... fire!

 

[midwestyankee]

I’ve been on Lit 5+ years and today is the first time anyone has asked me to send them nude photos. Should I be insulted, flattered, amused or confused?

I’ve been here almost 15 without a hint of such a request. Of course, you are objectively 12,000% prettier than me so I can understand how you attracted such interest so quickly.

 

[midwestyankee]

Ready... aim... fire!

Are you watching the Sam Nunberg Meltdown Hoedown and Amateur Hour?

 

[Miles Long]

Are you watching the Sam Nunberg Meltdown Hoedown and Amateur Hour?

I haven't seen it live yet but I'm reading all about it in the news and social media. Gotta love free entertainment!

 

[Miles Long]

Hahahaha Oh boy!

Noted for my next trip to the tattoo studio. Maybe a tramp stamp??!

How about your favorite bible verse?

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

Hahahaha Oh boy!

Noted for my next trip to the tattoo studio. Maybe a tramp stamp??!

Pm me before you go! I’ll spell check it for you!

 

[removed9556]

 

[Saucyminx]

School's back tomorrow after a 9 day strike! I want to hug a teacher

Do it! I understand they like that sort of thing.

 

[Saucyminx]

Why oh why is everything so complicated.

Because the world sucks total butt.

But I love you, so at least there is that.

 

[Saucyminx]

I do NOT want to do the dishes.
I do NOT want to do the laundry.
I do NOT want to make my bed.
The home is a harsh mistress. If I don’t do the cleaning she makes me live in my own filth. Bitch.

Great. Now I have most likely pissed her off, and the roof will start to leak, or that cabinet will finally fall off the wall, or some other poltergeist-ish nonsense will ensue.