Blurt Thread III - Emporium of Unexpected Exclamations & Revelations

[Miles Long]

So I just saw the headline "A woman went to check her corn — and was swallowed by a python" in the newspaper and I don't know what to think anymore.

 

[Hypoxia]

So I just saw the headline "A woman went to check her corn — and was swallowed by a python" in the newspaper and I don't know what to think anymore.

Yes, that is more than mildly disconcerting. How is the python doing?

That reminds me of a Keith Richards story. He was visiting a cannabis commune in California's woody Golden Triangle. After much alcohol and amyl nitrate, he wandered into the brush to drain his lizard. He whipped out his long, thin crank and aimed at a Yerba Santa shrub -- when a rattlesnake struck, right in the juicy part. Ouch. Medical help was called but to no avail. Within a half hour, that snake was DEAD!

 

[Miles Long]

The truth is I have loved a lot of sprinters that make Usain Bolt look like a tortoise.

 

[vibes]

The fact is at that point knowing the truth is almost useless

 

[Miles Long]

If I could get paid to do that for a month it would be amazing, even if it was only once every four years.

 

[vibes]

Who gets to decide that?

I wouldn't think it's opinion based

 

[Hypoxia]

Truth is a game.
Truth is whatever you want to make it -- a matter of definition.
Truth is an artifact of logic systems, which need not relate to reality.

Reality is what's left after you stop believing in Truth or whatever.
Reality is whatever bites your ass.
If it affects you, it's real, even if it's a fantasy, like religion.

Fiction must make sense; reality is not so constrained.
Ask me about Jain 7-fold logic and my 31-fold extension.
Excuse me while I construct truth tables.

 

[Miles Long]

What? Race Usain Bolt?

No, watch the World Cup.

 

[Saucyminx]

Idiots.

Seriously. I mean look at that man in a suit. *swoon*

The fact is at that point knowing the truth is almost useless

I’ve said something very similar when my feelings were flayed. The truth didn’t matter. Wasn’t going to make it hurt any less—but that’s me. I know for some people closure and why matters and that’s no less valid.

 

[Hypoxia]

Binary logic, two options: any statement is either true or false. Flip a coin; heads or tails? Or does it land on edge, or roll down a drain?

Fuzzy logic, unknown options: any statement is sorta true or sorta false. It depends.

Solid-state logic, three options: any statement is either true (on and 1) or false (on and 0) or an undefined ground state (off).

Die logic, structural options: however many sides on your dice, that's how many truths are available.

Jain logic, seven-fold: any statement is some mix of maybe true and/or maybe false and/or maybe unknowable.

31-fold extensión: add maybe trivial (like 1=1) and/or maybe irrelevant (like like elephants in another galaxy).

Truth can be whatever you want. Just pick a logic system and run with it.

 

[Miles Long]

The truth is you don’t need to be a coward or a cunt to end a relationship.

My grandma always used to say that any time we went to visit. When I was 5 I didn't really understand what she was talking about. But now I think back and I'm like that woman was so wise.

 

[Saucyminx]

The truth is you don’t need to be a coward or a cunt to end a relationship.

That is very much the truth.

Miles, your grandma was indeed very sage. My mom always told my brothers “Don’t stick your dick in crazy.” I’ve passed that advice on to my own son. I doubt he will listen either.

 

[Emerson40]

Crazy can be fun.


It can be like shellfish though - too much and you get sick of it, maybe even break out in a rash.

 

[Hypoxia]

Santa Clarita Diet.

We overnighted our little RV at the 1000 Trails site in Santa Clarita. Commuter trains in the morning were too early, too near, and too loud. Our Santa Clarita diet was: leave.

 

[Miles Long]

That is very much the truth.

Miles, your grandma was indeed very sage. My mom always told my brothers “Don’t stick your dick in crazy.” I’ve passed that advice on to my own son. I doubt he will listen either.

Crazy can be fun.


It can be like shellfish though - too much and you get sick of it, maybe even break out in a rash.

If it helps, tell him I agree with you and your mom. Those are words to live by but, as Emerson said, crazy can be fun. So while you really shouldn't stick your dick in crazy, the truth is they likely will at least on occasion. The trick is in minimizing the risk.

Before you stick your dick in crazy, BE PREPARED:

1. Do you have an escape plan in the event the crazy flares up? Before you stick your dick too far into the crazy, identify all modes of egress and have a plan to flee with your wallet and keys if necessary.

2. Does she know your last name and/or address? If so, you should be prepared to create your own boutique version of the witness protection program. New city, new name, new job. If you are unwilling or unable to take such drastic action, you are not ready to stick your dick in crazy.

3. Bobby Frost once said "Nothing gold can stay," but, buddy let me tell you, digital is for-fucking-ever. Modern flirtation often includes sending dirty texts and naked pics between paramours. And for most people, sexting is fun and flirty because most people understand that with great power comes great responsibility. But then there's the crazies. Do you really think she won't scroll through every single text message you've ever sent her to find embarrassing and compromising material? Do you think she won't immediately post your most revealing photos all over social media? Do you think she won't hack into every app on your phone and make your life a living hell? If you answered no to any of those questions, then you've obviously never seen crazy in action. My dear sweet, sweet child. My darling innocent boy.

With the appropriate preparation, you can reduce the risk associated with sticking your dick in crazy. But even in the best-prepared situation, it's really a bad idea. Honestly you're probably better off just sticking your dick in an angry raccoon.

Good luck out there, son.

 

[NightL]

The trick is in minimizing the risk.

for fuck sake DON'T MARRY!!!

 

[vibes]

I still have my Bro-secco.

I didn't realize that

 

[Saucyminx]

Truth is she probably wasn’t crazy until you stuck your dick in her.


#cowardsandcunts

It’s a possibility—but I will say in all of my SIL’s cases, it was pretty apparent prior to the dick sticking. Not to say my brothers aren’t assholes. They totally are—except the youngest one.

I’ve encountered some pretty crazy chicks here on this website too. Don’t you remember my Canadian Catfish gf?

Luckily I followed the Miles Long rules of engagement, and didn’t share any dirty pics, dirty texts, and didn’t let her come visit though she pushed and pushed.

PS Miles, I am showing that post to boy minx as soon as he gets home from work, for that moment when he doesn’t listen to me.

Other boy minx didn’t listen and now I have the most adorable little grand-ish-daughter. Still doesn’t stop me from regularly wanting to slap the snot out of her mother.

 

[Saucyminx]

I still have my Bro-secco.

Forever and always Bro-letariat.

 

[Hypoxia]

Fried liver is usually a last resort.

 

[Miles Long]

It’s a possibility—but I will say in all of my SIL’s cases, it was pretty apparent prior to the dick sticking. Not to say my brothers aren’t assholes. They totally are—except the youngest one.

I’ve encountered some pretty crazy chicks here on this website too. Don’t you remember my Canadian Catfish gf?

Luckily I followed the Miles Long rules of engagement, and didn’t share any dirty pics, dirty texts, and didn’t let her come visit though she pushed and pushed.

PS Miles, I am showing that post to boy minx as soon as he gets home from work, for that moment when he doesn’t listen to me.

Other boy minx didn’t listen and now I have the most adorable little grand-ish-daughter. Still doesn’t stop me from regularly wanting to slap the snot out of her mother.

Let me know if you want to conference call.

 

[Emerson40]

I could provide a persuasive customer testimonial or two.

Well, okay...maybe like five or six.

 

[Saucyminx]

I could provide a persuasive customer testimonial or two.

Well, okay...maybe like five or six.

*Grabs popcorn, and gets comfy*

 

[Miles Long]

I'm really looking forward to this weekend!

 

[Miles Long]

Me too!

Okay not reallly, but I am having a holiday soon. By holiday I mean staying home for a whole week and doing loads of sleeping.

That sounds like a pretty perfect holiday.