Brutal insensitivity

[alice_underneath]

It seems that the lines of communication are pretty wide open and that multiple partners isn't so much the issue as multiple partners without the use of condoms.

Multiple love interests is something else again.

I'm sorry things aren't working out, but it's a lot to ask of anyone to endanger his or her life while you get your freak on and maybe look for somebody else to fall in love with.

I say be as selfish as you want to be but don't be surprised when you get told "No."


-B

I do not think that the critical issue here is Marquis's Domly right to roam, with or without a condom.

Based on Marquis's posts on the thread to which I linked, I'd say that this self-destructive behavior is the work of his Beast.

Marquis -

I.A.V. is demonstrating wisdom, strength, and courage here. I think you know that.

Now it's your turn.

Get your rear end to a professional's office, and find a way to get that Bastard under control.

Alice

 

[RJMasters]

None of this is my business.

I wish the best to both of you.

 

[graceanne]

None of this is my business.

I wish the best to both of you.

Ditto.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

If I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times:

"Poly isn't for everyone. Open relationships are not for everyone. Monogamomy isn't for everyone. And what works for you at one point in your life isn't guaranteed to work at another. Enjoy the journey finding what works for you in your relationships."

And for crying out loud,
if you're going to be sexually active with multiple partners use condoms like your life depends on them!

Because it does.

May you both find peace, wherever your journeys may lead.

 

[Marquis]

Ditto.

Triple ditto.

Oh fuck, this is totally my business.


I think superlittlegirl had a great post. I have bought and read much of Ethical Slut, but I don't even have the power to talk about it right now.

I've been so crushed by my partner's heartless abandonment that I'm left to crouch in my bathroom and carve demonic symbols on my chest with a straight razor.

OK, not exactly, but I don't always have the energy to handle things the way I should and the way I know I can. I've been really depressed recently and that definitely doesn't help my ability to be a Dom and maintain control of the relationship.

You see guys, women are like wild mares. You've got to crack the whip down or they're as good as feral, but you gotta let them run a bit too, or they're going to be too rebellious to be any good to you.

My own mare has been running wild a bit much recently, which is odd because she isn't the most untame pony in the bunch. Yes, mistakes were made, and they were regrettable. There are ways in which we'll both have to sacrifice if we want this relationship to work, and thats the truth. I know she wants this relationship to work and so do I. A few stiff lipped posts doesn't change the fact that she will melt in front of a hard Marquis stare. All the brutal insensitivity in the world couldn't stop me from craving her next to me.

So for now, run along little mare, miss the whip you shall.

 

[rosco rathbone]

You two won't last a week without each other.

 

[Quint]

If I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times:

"Poly isn't for everyone. Open relationships are not for everyone. Monogamomy isn't for everyone..."

Hmm, so you've mistyped "monogamy" a thousand times? Man, I missed so many opportunities to poke at you!

This is a good wake-up-call post. Best to you both.

 

[John Doe]

Again, we disagree.

I think women are inherently simple, and a minimalist attitude must be taken in analyzing them. Everything you really need to know about a woman, she will tell you in your first conversation with her. After that, it's just holding on to those fundamental truths as a barrage of lies hits you with machinegun rapidity.

As well women perplexingly are attracted to those men who are ignorant of them and seem to be apathetic towards thier needs and desires.

In other words, you may be an asshole sometimes, but you've got a point.

 

[MzDeviancy]

Again, we disagree.

I think women are inherently simple, and a minimalist attitude must be taken in analyzing them. Everything you really need to know about a woman, she will tell you in your first conversation with her. After that, it's just holding on to those fundamental truths as a barrage of lies hits you with machinegun rapidity.

You're kind of a bit of a jerk off, hey?

 

[Marquis]

Hey, I would've taken the blue pill.

 

[Netzach]

You got to raincoat it, my friend.

 

[Recidiva]

You see guys, women are like wild mares. You've got to crack the whip down or they're as good as feral, but you gotta let them run a bit too, or they're going to be too rebellious to be any good to you.

So you're saying you're a Horse Whipperer.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

You can't aquire love/acceptance with brutal insensitivity. All you can aquire is blind allegiance - maybe?

Blind allegiance may sound good - but you might as well be fucking a robot in the long run.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I am saddened to hear how things have become for you both...my wishes for happiness are sent with gentleness. Was playing James Blunt's CD earlier, and the words of this one just seemed to remind me how precious it can be to find that one who touches parts of you no-one else can in quite the same special way. Perhaps it will help, perhaps not.

Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Catalina

 

[Hester]

You see guys, women are like wild mares. You've got to crack the whip down or they're as good as feral, but you gotta let them run a bit too, or they're going to be too rebellious to be any good to you.

or you walk quietly and let the mare(s) follow you

 

[Marquis]

You got to raincoat it, my friend.

This much I've conceded.

 

[Marquis]

Hey guys, I think it's rather obvious I don't mind talking about my personal business, but I didn't mean for this thread to turn sideways on me like this. I really did want to discuss the merits of hard-heartedness for the top-siders.

Things between voyeur and I are not as bad as they may appear. This was a reasonably discussed and amicable bilateral decision. We're still the best of friends and still hunch when the mood suits us. I sincerely appreciate all of your concern, but I don't want you to be broken up at the wrong time, I don't want to be crying wolf for when I may really need you!

 

[bridgeburner]

I did address this earlier, but I'll expound a bit.

As I stated, I think acting in ignorance means a certain lack of control ---- you can't control and direct your actions without knowledge of what you're doing. It's not masterful, to my mind, merely selfish. Mastery implies ultimate control over the situation which the ignorant can never acheive.

On the flip side, that may not matter to the Dominant in question. If the goal is solely to satisfy the Dom's urges and those urges do not include any kind of focus on the sub's mind/heart at all, then, in that context, ignorance isn't an issue. If it doesn't matter what the sub thinks or wants or feels then there's no reason to know any of it. The problem here is that a Dom with these tendencies is going to go through partners very quickly, usually from a less desirable pool and often including victims of chronic abuse who can't break the cycle.

-B

 

[NemoAlia]

There was a moment last night that if my Dom hadn't been a tad insensitive, neither one of us would have gotten laid. I was in an incredibly picky headspace, and he kind of barrelled right through it, impervious. So, yay good sex! Yay situational insensitivity!

 

[Marquis]

There was a moment last night that if my Dom hadn't been a tad insensitive, neither one of us would have gotten laid. I was in an incredibly picky headspace, and he kind of barrelled right through it, impervious. So, yay good sex! Yay situational insensitivity!

BAM!


This is exactly my point.

You can't cry over every starving child in the world, you'll never get anything done. Even when I was a teacher, it was a challenge not to care about any student too much, because I had to care about the class as a whole.

 

[Recidiva]

BAM!


This is exactly my point.

You can't cry over every starving child in the world, you'll never get anything done. Even when I was a teacher, it was a challenge not to care about any student too much, because I had to care about the class as a whole.

Okay, what a load of crap. I'm out.

 

[Marquis]

Okay, what a load of crap. I'm out.

 

[Netzach]

I am remarkably insensitive at times. A total asshole.

It's gotten me my way, sure. It has never, however, gotten me laid.

 

[Iron Bear]

EVERYTHING in moderation. NOTHING in excess.

In other words, yes, I can see the occasional need for insensitivity, but it shouldn't be a lifestyle.

 

[NemoAlia]

Even when I was a teacher, it was a challenge not to care about any student too much, because I had to care about the class as a whole.

Ooh oooh. Okay, so maybe we're not talking about willful ignorance so much as we're talking about professional disinterest and distance?