Bunny's Stuffie Corner

[Twistedkink]

Talked to Daddy tonight. If he feels up to it, he wants me to come see him tomorrow night or Wednesday night. We'll have to see how it goes, but I do hope I get to see him.

There's only one problem. He's in a particularly sadistic mood, and I always feel like I end up disappointing him when he feels that way by not being able to give him everything he wants. My pain tolerance nowadays is absolute shit, and I struggle to take his cock because it's so thick. (Yes, I know, this is both TMI and a wonderful problem to have. But it's not so great for anal, for instance, and sometimes even oral.)

I hate feeling like a disappointment to him, and I'm afraid that's what's gonna happen again. I just want to please him so badly, and I end up betrayed by own body, and I hate it. I just want to be a good kitten for him.

*Cuddles the stuffies sadly*

Hugs for you, I’m sure your Daddy knows you want him happ.

 

[BiBunny]

*Clings to as many stuffies as my arms will hold and buries my face in them*

I have decisions to make.

I don't like making decisions, especially not hard ones.

These are all very hard.

I don't know what to do, and I don't really have anyone to talk to about them. So I'm kind of on my own here and trying to wing it.

I hate everything about this.

 

[Tallcajun]

*Clings to as many stuffies as my arms will hold and buries my face in them*

I have decisions to make.

I don't like making decisions, especially not hard ones.

These are all very hard.

I don't know what to do, and I don't really have anyone to talk to about them. So I'm kind of on my own here and trying to wing it.

I hate everything about this.

Feel free to ask for advice.
It is usually free and you can take it or leave it. Are the decisions time sensitive?

 

[IrisAlthea]

That doesn't sound fun.

Well, part of it is business as usual and the rest are things I handled before and know I can deal with.
The sad part is that they will affect people negatively however well I handle it, because it is at a stage where it can only be mitigated and not made to go away.

I have decisions to make.

I don't like making decisions, especially not hard ones.

These are all very hard.

I don't know what to do, and I don't really have anyone to talk to about them. So I'm kind of on my own here and trying to wing it.

I hate everything about this.

I’m sorry to hear that!

Would pro and con lists for every option help? For me they usually do. In tricky cases I even do them on paper.

It also helps me to know what the absolutely worst possible outcome would be, but I’m weird that way so you should probably ignore that idea.

 

[BiBunny]

Feel free to ask for advice.
It is usually free and you can take it or leave it. Are the decisions time sensitive?

Thank you, I appreciate it! I probably will when I get on the computer. I hate typing a lot on my phone.

Luckily, the decisions are not really time sensitive, so I can take as much time as I need figuring things out.

Well, part of it is business as usual and the rest are things I handled before and know I can deal with.
The sad part is that they will affect people negatively however well I handle it, because it is at a stage where it can only be mitigated and not made to go away.



I’m sorry to hear that!

Would pro and con lists for every option help? For me they usually do. In tricky cases I even do them on paper.

It also helps me to know what the absolutely worst possible outcome would be, but I’m weird that way so you should probably ignore that idea.

Pro and con lists probably would help. I'm drowning in stuff I need to do right now, so I'll probably wait until some of that is finished before I make them, but I'll definitely give it a try. Like I said earlier, at least the decisions are not time sensitive.

I'm weird, too, and I think figuring our the worst possible scenario would probably help. A lot of times, the answer is "I'd be no worse off than I am right now," anyway.

 

[IrisAlthea]

A lot of times, the answer is "I'd be no worse off than I am right now," anyway.

Yes or ”either way will probably be reasonably ok” or something like that.
I had a boss who used to ask if we’d kill anyone if we got it wrong. It’s kind of relieving to have that perspective most of the time.

Personally I like to know where I stand though, even when it’s life and death or close to it.
I was so frustrated with the doctor of one of our kids once, because she didn’t want to scare us with discussing the possible outcomes of a situation, like I couldn’t paint terrible enough pictures in my mind (let alone google them…).
One of the other doctors on the team got it and he spoke up for telling us, but it was not easy to get her to back down even then.

 

[BiBunny]

Decisions I Have To Make

1.) Do I keep banging my head against the wall with my Daddy, or do I just let him self-destruct on his own?

2.) Do I quit my (company) job?

3.) Do I keep trying to keep my friendship with my best friend going when she doesn't really seem that interested anymore, now that she has a girlfriend?

None of these are particularly time-sensitive. But I would love to get my mind made up soonish so I don't just keep torturing myself with these problems, you know?

 

[BiBunny]

*Sigh*

If I want to have any kind of relationship with my Daddy, even just a purely sexual one, I'm going to have to drop the bar he's got to clear into hell and just never have any expectations of him whatsoever.

And that's hard to do. And I don't know if I want to do it.

I love him, but I have been pulling this wagon by myself long enough. It's time for me to put it down and rest a while.

 

[BiBunny]

*Sigh*

If I want to have any kind of relationship with my Daddy, even just a purely sexual one, I'm going to have to drop the bar he's got to clear into hell and just never have any expectations of him whatsoever.

And that's hard to do. And I don't know if I want to do it.

I love him, but I have been pulling this wagon by myself long enough. It's time for me to put it down and rest a while.

Back when I was with the psychopath and his narcissistic wife (this was circa 2010 or so), I used to use the analogy that I am not a vacuum cleaner, to be pulled out when needed and stuffed back into the closet and forgotten about until the floor is dirty again.

I'm so mad that here it is 2023, and I'm still making this same analogy. The only difference is, the psychopath and the narcissist vacuumed more often.

 

[Broken_paladin]

Self preservation is a must. Its not your responsibility to fix your daddy or to endure a less than existence for him. The dynamic is suppose to enrich your life.

 

[BiBunny]

Self preservation is a must. Its not your responsibility to fix your daddy or to endure a less than existence for him. The dynamic is suppose to enrich your life.

Sigh. Yeah. I guess so.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I love him, but I have been pulling this wagon by myself long enough. It's time for me to put it down and rest a while.

What does he have to say about it?

Back when I was with the psychopath and his narcissistic wife (this was circa 2010 or so), I used to use the analogy that I am not a vacuum cleaner, to be pulled out when needed and stuffed back into the closet and forgotten about until the floor is dirty again.

Heh, here we used to have the radio pause bird. It was the national public service radio that played recorded sounds from different birds when they had a couple of minutes between programmes.
And once there was a relationship that was kind of maybe starting and maybe not and he wasn’t sure, because if this other girl might want to be his primary relationship (I already had one), then she might not be ok with him having any other closer relationship and so on and so forth…
I have a surprising amount of patience sometimes, but eventually I had to tell him that while I’m quite ok with not being the main show and that I don’t even expected to be since I couldn’t offer the same anyway, I was not interested in being the pause bird either. You have to tune in specially to me at least once in a while.
When I told another friend about the conversation later, he had an inordinate amount of fun coming up with different bird sounds for me.

But yes, it can be being the vacuum.
It might also be being the pretty doll that you only take off the shelf to play with when you have lots of time and the right mindset so she doesn’t get dirty and worn from your messy everyday life, perhaps?

Tell him that you feel left out?

 

[BiBunny]

What does he have to say about it?



Heh, here we used to have the radio pause bird. It was the national public service radio that played recorded sounds from different birds when they had a couple of minutes between programmes.
And once there was a relationship that was kind of maybe starting and maybe not and he wasn’t sure, because if this other girl might want to be his primary relationship (I already had one), then she might not be ok with him having any other closer relationship and so on and so forth…
I have a surprising amount of patience sometimes, but eventually I had to tell him that while I’m quite ok with not being the main show and that I don’t even expected to be since I couldn’t offer the same anyway, I was not interested in being the pause bird either. You have to tune in specially to me at least once in a while.
When I told another friend about the conversation later, he had an inordinate amount of fun coming up with different bird sounds for me.

But yes, it can be being the vacuum.
It might also be being the pretty doll that you only take off the shelf to play with when you have lots of time and the right mindset so she doesn’t get dirty and worn from your messy everyday life, perhaps?

Tell him that you feel left out?

I question whether or not it's worth saying anything about.

About 75% of the time now, he doesn't even answer my texts. I know he's depressed, but I sent one the other day, specifically requesting his attention when he had time, and he still hasn't answered. It's like he doesn't give a shit if he pushes me away or not. So I'm like, should I even waste my time trying, or should I just drift away at this point?

I love the pause bird analogy, by the way. That was brilliant.

 

[Naughtygirl201]

Time to find a new Daddy I think.

 

[BiBunny]

Time to find a new Daddy I think.

I was afraid of that, too.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I question whether or not it's worth saying anything about.

About 75% of the time now, he doesn't even answer my texts. I know he's depressed, but I sent one the other day, specifically requesting his attention when he had time, and he still hasn't answered. It's like he doesn't give a shit if he pushes me away or not. So I'm like, should I even waste my time trying, or should I just drift away at this point?

I love the pause bird analogy, by the way. That was brilliant.

That sounds like depression, yes.
And if he isn’t actively getting treatment or willing to do so, I totally get why you are starting to question if it’s tenable.
I’d still make sure it is chrystal clear what the issue is, though.

I love the pause bird analogy, by the way. That was brilliant.

Thank you!

 

[BiBunny]

That sounds like depression, yes.
And if he isn’t actively getting treatment or willing to do so, I totally get why you are starting to question if it’s tenable.
I’d still make sure it is chrystal clear what the issue is, though.



Thank you!

I guess after three and a half years, I at least owe him an explanation of why I'm going if I choose to go.

I'll try to talk to him. If I can get him to respond to me, anyway. Maybe I'll just go camp out in his driveway and refuse to leave until he either talks to me or calls the cops, lol.

 

[twister947]

Painful reading...

 

[BiBunny]

Painful reading...

I'm sorry I brought down the vibe of the stuffie corner, guys.

I'm at my parents' house for the night, but when I get back to my computer tomorrow, I'll post some of my favorite stuffies I've made to brighten the place up some. (I'd do it from my phone, but when I try to upload directly from my phone to Lit, it always tells me the attachment is too big.)

 

[twister947]

I'm sorry I brought down the vibe of the stuffie corner, guys.

I'm at my parents' house for the night, but when I get back to my computer tomorrow, I'll post some of my favorite stuffies I've made to brighten the place up some. (I'd do it from my phone, but when I try to upload directly from my phone to Lit, it always tells me the attachment is too big.)

Bun, try taking a screen shot, and send that.

 

[BiBunny]

Bun, try taking a screen shot, and send that.

Ooh, that worked! Thank you!



I'm sorry, I'm lazy and didn't trim them, and I know I've posted at least some of them elsewhere, but here are some of my favorite Bun-made stuffies for the stuffie corner.

 

[BiBunny]

Well, I got a couple of responses out of him today, but only a couple, and they were short.

His job stress has pushed his depression over the edge, I think. And I feel awful because I, on one hand, can't help at all, so I feel useless. And on the other hand, I need my Daddy so badly, and that makes me feel guilty for putting more of a burden on him.

We need to talk, but I don't know how or when we'll ever get to.

 

[IrisAlthea]

We need to talk, but I don't know how or when we'll ever get to.

Well, as you said, there is no rush really.
While there is never a perfect time to bring up difficult stuff, there are still levels in hell.

His job stress has pushed his depression over the edge, I think. And I feel awful because I, on one hand, can't help at all, so I feel useless.

Does he get treatment for depression?

You posted a while back about wanting to be more involved helping him. Has that gone anywhere?
Because quite frankly, if someone wants to be close, they have to let you in just a little bit, even if it is just bringing over some food on a busy day.
And I say that as someone who is spectacular at not asking for help and avoiding leaning on anyone…

 

[BiBunny]

Well, as you said, there is no rush really.
While there is never a perfect time to bring up difficult stuff, there are still levels in hell.

This is very true.

Does he get treatment for depression?

You posted a while back about wanting to be more involved helping him. Has that gone anywhere?
Because quite frankly, if someone wants to be close, they have to let you in just a little bit, even if it is just bringing over some food on a busy day.
And I say that as someone who is spectacular at not asking for help and avoiding leaning on anyone…

He was on meds at one time. I don't know if they've just stopped working or if he's been an idiot and gone off of them. I can find out, though.

And, no, that has gone nowhere. He's convinced he's an island, and nobody can do anything for him. It's one of the most annoying things about him.

It makes me feel like he doesn't really want me around or involved in his life, to be honest.

 

[BiBunny]

He was on meds at one time. I don't know if they've just stopped working or if he's been an idiot and gone off of them. I can find out, though.

He's still on meds; they just don't work that well anymore. I asked him if he could get back to the doctor and get them adjusted, and he said, "Not right now," but I'm gonna stay after his ass about it, and maybe he'll end up going back to get me to shut up, lol.